I am just still stunned that you can go from 110% full force and 'nothing but' to quitting it completely. That was unexpected.
I'm a bit stunned too :help:
Maybe some major decisions are like that: you see things one way:
"An outdoor lifestyle is good for the kids, responsibility is good for the kids, when the girls get more confident/more competent they will like it more, we can afford it, we aren't going hungry and we can pay the mortgage, I deserve 'me' time, Thyme is the loveliest horse ever, I love horses, why shouldn't I be able to..."
To suddenly seeing it another: read post 1! (I don't need to say it all again. I keep having to re-read post 1 to remind myself why.)
It sounds silly but I think I have been a bit like an alcoholic in denial. When I got back into horses after the twins were born I always said I will quit if..... (kids don't like it, it impacts negatively on the family, whatever) and I kept changing the goal posts and refusing to see what was right in front of me.
I don't ride everyday. I ride about 3 times a week. And I take the kids riding twice. I work 4 days - school hours only. Then there are after school activities. So I ride early in the morning, late in the evening, on my day off and at the weekend. Kids have to come up after school just to feed, even if they don't ride. And they have to come up at weekends. I live in a town so need to drive to the yard.
I rode today. I should have been working :redface: She was lovely. Picking up canter nicely in the arena. I will miss her.