A brave & generous decision T & M , can certainly see where you're coming from as my hubby doesn't like horse either & at times I'm stretched a little thin & my children have all flown the nest so only have house really. Do feel that it's so very difficult when you've got a family & after all something has to give. When your children are older & leave home then would think hubby would be agreeable to getting a horse again,I had a gap when we sold my lovely mare when I was expecting our eldest as it would not be on financially & time wise to have a horse & a baby.Bet hubby does come round in the future, mine did & paid for a horse when he was medically retired out of his lump sum.I hope you can get riding in when you've not got your own horses,I was lucky as had friends who allowed me to use their's & if they want their horses brought on your friends will probably jump at the chance of you riding them :wink:
I'm getting out of the world of horses.
- Thread starter Thyme & Me
- Start date
Thanks for all the supportive replies. I was very touched. I have been away this weekend at my OH's nan's 90th birthday. I realised I can add another reason for selling up: weekends away! With family all over the country and abroad the offers/pressure to go away is always there, and I always resist as far as possible. I hate going away because - of course - I hate leaving the horses! Watching the kids play with all their cousins made me think that it will be nice when we can meet up a bit more often...
OH has always been extremely supportive. I had a horse when we got together, so it was a sort of 'love me, love my horse' situation. Selling was never considered even when we had our first child. Here he is being looked after by Maisy outside the arena!!
DSC02278 by Team KP Nut, on Flickr
Then I fell pregnant with twins and was signed off from 20 weeks and ordered to rest because I was having early contractions. Horse went on loan. 2 weeks before due date I was offered return or buy! I just couldn't think of the return at that point and sold. But I got horses again when the twins were 2. At that time I told OH that the one thing that would stop me keeping horses would be if the children didn't want them. My fantasy was that they would grow up with ponies and love them the way I loved them. I had visions of family hacks (OH and son on mountain bikes!), horsey camping holidays, lazy afternoons messing about with the ponies. And believe me I tried to make that happen. The girls had a mini shetland:
DSC05195 by Team KP Nut, on Flickr
They had riding lessons from 4.They have been going to pony camp, pony clubs since 5 or 6.
I have taken them to shows, organised pony parties etc etc
I now realise it was my desperate attempt to realise MY dream, it is not something that came from them. I was trying to give the kids MY dream childhood rather than allowing them to live out theirs! And yes they do like riding and like Tara & Thyme. What little girl doesn't like rosettes and hacks and horsey-cuddles. But the trouble is they don't like it nearly enough to justify the time, stress and cost! They would put half a dozen activities ahead of riding.
When the children have grown up, I have no doubt I will have another horse. But it's time to accept that it's not right for the family now. I won't resent it. It has been totally my decision. I'm the kind of person who NEEDS to be active so I will throw myself into something else - I used to coach the kids at after school athletics and run a beginner triathlon session. I'll do something like that. I'll be fine. Eventually.
Ad will be going on classified section tonight so if anyone knows anyone sufficiently deserving
wink of the lovely Thyme then keep an eye out for it....
OH has always been extremely supportive. I had a horse when we got together, so it was a sort of 'love me, love my horse' situation. Selling was never considered even when we had our first child. Here he is being looked after by Maisy outside the arena!!
DSC02278 by Team KP Nut, on Flickr
Then I fell pregnant with twins and was signed off from 20 weeks and ordered to rest because I was having early contractions. Horse went on loan. 2 weeks before due date I was offered return or buy! I just couldn't think of the return at that point and sold. But I got horses again when the twins were 2. At that time I told OH that the one thing that would stop me keeping horses would be if the children didn't want them. My fantasy was that they would grow up with ponies and love them the way I loved them. I had visions of family hacks (OH and son on mountain bikes!), horsey camping holidays, lazy afternoons messing about with the ponies. And believe me I tried to make that happen. The girls had a mini shetland:
DSC05195 by Team KP Nut, on Flickr
They had riding lessons from 4.They have been going to pony camp, pony clubs since 5 or 6.
I have taken them to shows, organised pony parties etc etc
I now realise it was my desperate attempt to realise MY dream, it is not something that came from them. I was trying to give the kids MY dream childhood rather than allowing them to live out theirs! And yes they do like riding and like Tara & Thyme. What little girl doesn't like rosettes and hacks and horsey-cuddles. But the trouble is they don't like it nearly enough to justify the time, stress and cost! They would put half a dozen activities ahead of riding.
When the children have grown up, I have no doubt I will have another horse. But it's time to accept that it's not right for the family now. I won't resent it. It has been totally my decision. I'm the kind of person who NEEDS to be active so I will throw myself into something else - I used to coach the kids at after school athletics and run a beginner triathlon session. I'll do something like that. I'll be fine. Eventually.
Ad will be going on classified section tonight so if anyone knows anyone sufficiently deserving
wink of the lovely Thyme then keep an eye out for it....
I know I have posted before, but I think you are making the right decision for your situation atm. 20years of horses is a good run and very likely time for you to have a change and enjoy other areas of your life.
I sort of did it the other way round, I was a horsey kid but stopped being heavily involved when I started work, then married then had a child and although I always kept my hand in I didn't contemplate another until my only son was nine, he has never been much into his own activities so he was happy to come with me and mix with the 'yard kids'. I really don't think I would have been able to cope with three kids and a horse and work, I can't even manage a job now. You will have plenty of time to get back into horses at a later date. Good luck with finding Thyme a nice home. Stay on here though and keep having the odd ride:smile:
I am going to be envious of them weekends away:smile:
I sort of did it the other way round, I was a horsey kid but stopped being heavily involved when I started work, then married then had a child and although I always kept my hand in I didn't contemplate another until my only son was nine, he has never been much into his own activities so he was happy to come with me and mix with the 'yard kids'. I really don't think I would have been able to cope with three kids and a horse and work, I can't even manage a job now. You will have plenty of time to get back into horses at a later date. Good luck with finding Thyme a nice home. Stay on here though and keep having the odd ride:smile:
I am going to be envious of them weekends away:smile:
A decision that really and truely sounds like the right one for you, I have a daughter who is just a few days off 3, and while both her parents have a horse each. Mr Ruskii isn't keen for her to get into it as it's the ties in going to shows all the time and it interefering with school work as she gets older. In the early days I was a bit 'No no no - if she wants a pony then I'll see what we could do' as she's getting older I'm thinking she might not be interested actually and kind of hoping she won't be. I had thought of family hacks as well and thought it would be great, but Mr Ruskii doesn't know if he'll get another horse once his current one passes on, but he doesn't think he will as his horse now is a horse of a lifetime for him.
Also I like having the horse as MY hobby, I want our daughter to have her own interest but certainly not for my hobby to dictate family finances or impinge on family time at all. I may be thinking differently in a few years when I return to full time work though and he might be sold on - who knows.
Also I like having the horse as MY hobby, I want our daughter to have her own interest but certainly not for my hobby to dictate family finances or impinge on family time at all. I may be thinking differently in a few years when I return to full time work though and he might be sold on - who knows.
I may be completely out of line, but I also do think in this day and age, that children have far too much control over their parents lives.
When my peers and I were small children, parents lives did not revolve around their children, rather, you as a child, fitted in with your parents lives. I went to boarding school, and whilst I would have preferred not to, it didn't scar me for life, and you got on and did what you were told.
I listen to the girls in the office, and in between dance class and gym class and the other hundred classes that their children take, it is no wonder really they only work part time because there isn't a lot of time for them to do anything else. Of course they can afford to do that now because the state steps in and tops up earnings.
Perhaps I am really old and old fashioned, I don't know!!!
When my peers and I were small children, parents lives did not revolve around their children, rather, you as a child, fitted in with your parents lives. I went to boarding school, and whilst I would have preferred not to, it didn't scar me for life, and you got on and did what you were told.
I listen to the girls in the office, and in between dance class and gym class and the other hundred classes that their children take, it is no wonder really they only work part time because there isn't a lot of time for them to do anything else. Of course they can afford to do that now because the state steps in and tops up earnings.
Perhaps I am really old and old fashioned, I don't know!!!
Good luck with your decision - it's a big one to make and not made easily but horses are a big committment in time and money and sometimes something's gotta give!
Being without a horse isn't the end of the world and you do survive - i had a break a few years ago when finances went haywire for a while and i have struggled since getting back into them.
Funnily enough i was thinking exactly the same thing as you but for different reasons. Once Dors is sound and in work again I'll consider whether i want to keep her or go back to a normal life with my hubby after 16 years of horse ownership! Children all grown up now but my heart isn't in horses as much as it was and it is a big committment.
If you find you can't live without a horse in your life you could always go back to it - it is easy to do!! Maybe go into a share arrangement with someone - best of both worlds.
I think only you can make your decision about your life and if that is what you need to do here and now then no-one else can say otherwise. It is a hard but brave decision and not irreversible sometime in the future!
Children grow up fast - blink and you miss it - horses will always be out there when the time is right for you and your family.
Good luck and no guilt trips!! :wink:
Being without a horse isn't the end of the world and you do survive - i had a break a few years ago when finances went haywire for a while and i have struggled since getting back into them.
Funnily enough i was thinking exactly the same thing as you but for different reasons. Once Dors is sound and in work again I'll consider whether i want to keep her or go back to a normal life with my hubby after 16 years of horse ownership! Children all grown up now but my heart isn't in horses as much as it was and it is a big committment.
If you find you can't live without a horse in your life you could always go back to it - it is easy to do!! Maybe go into a share arrangement with someone - best of both worlds.
I think only you can make your decision about your life and if that is what you need to do here and now then no-one else can say otherwise. It is a hard but brave decision and not irreversible sometime in the future!
Children grow up fast - blink and you miss it - horses will always be out there when the time is right for you and your family.
Good luck and no guilt trips!! :wink:
Only just seen this thread, although it made me feel a little sad because of the fantastic relationship you & Thyme have, i can also see why you need to call it a day. I really cannot give you enough credit for your decision, i could never be that brave & selfless to give it all up for others. Its very nice as the other said to see such a honest post. It takes guts to do that :smile:
I have no idea how people cope with kids & horses to be honest. I find myself exhausted from just 1 x dog and 3 horses between myself & OH and we have no children! I have no idea how you'd fit in kid stuff with it all!
I really do hope you find a lovely home for Thyme, no doubt she will land herself in a wonderfull home and make someone a fantastic horse because of the time you've put in.
SJP1 - My parents were like that. They brought what they wanted & did as they pleased because they earnt the money it was never kids first lol! :giggle:
I remember having to give up my dancing classes because my mom wanted to use contact lenses! and giving up riding lessons because her & her boyfriend would rarther nice holidays, nice meals & getting drunk far too often (None of this included me i haste to add! :redcarded
I have no idea how people cope with kids & horses to be honest. I find myself exhausted from just 1 x dog and 3 horses between myself & OH and we have no children! I have no idea how you'd fit in kid stuff with it all!
I really do hope you find a lovely home for Thyme, no doubt she will land herself in a wonderfull home and make someone a fantastic horse because of the time you've put in.
SJP1 - My parents were like that. They brought what they wanted & did as they pleased because they earnt the money it was never kids first lol! :giggle:
I remember having to give up my dancing classes because my mom wanted to use contact lenses! and giving up riding lessons because her & her boyfriend would rarther nice holidays, nice meals & getting drunk far too often (None of this included me i haste to add! :redcarded
I don't think kids control the lives of parents as such as the parents decide on what is acceptable to their family. The average number of kids per couple has dramatically fallen over the years and I guess those of us with only one or two kids know that we'll only have one or two kids thanks to advances in birth control. This meant that for me (with 1 child) I knew that my time with her is precious and my time with her and my husband is even more so because it's so rare due to his long and unpredictable hours. I'm not willing to spend more time/money on the ponies than I am on my family. If I were hard up and had to do the ponies after work and spend weekends at the yard then if spend a lot more time and money on the ponies than my own family then that to me isn't right.
I guess for others there's the guilt of both parents needing, or wanting to work for their own sanity and so they invest heavily in their children. There's a fine line between that and being spoilt though.
I don't know about boarding school as my family have always been working class. My mum was the first to have a proper career (she was the first female engineer for John Brown in Portsmouth) when married and I was the first to go to university. I personally have never wanted my daughter to go to boarding school as I didn't have her for someone else to spend so much more time raising her than I do.
How many times have we seen the question in the media, 'where were the parents?' or 'why didn't the parents do something?'. It's about life balance and it's hard for many families to achieve that these days without the financial and time pressures of such a demanding hobby as horses thrown into the mix for good measure. The kids after school clubs etc take up way less time, commitment and money than horses do. And kids don't stay kids for ever.
This reminds me of a conversation I heard between a boy and girl (about 10 years old) waiting to go for a hack.
The boy had been away on some kind of summer camp and was saying what he had done. They had rock climbing, go carts, football etc etc. But then he said "but do you know what the BEST THING was?" and I am thinking this will be something really amazing from the way he said it! Then he said "for 1/2 an hour every day, we do what we want!" I know it is difficult, if not impossible now to let your children out to play the way we used to, but if must be horribly stifling to have every moment of your day organised for you. Yes sure, they might get bored! But does not being bored and finding something to do (without being distructive!) part of life? I found the conversation quite sad really...
She said it better than I could. Children are children for such a small amount of time, I would sacrifice my 'Me' time for spending time with her while she is small. I can go back into horses at a heavier more intense level when she's older and more independant.
I see what you are saying, but it is not them controlling me, it is me wishing I had more time to spend with them! They aren't saying 'mummy sell the horse because we want xxxxxxxxx" They are great kids. But I have decided -on my own - that I WANT to watch their swimming lessons, and their footie matches etc instead of their dad doing it all the time. And I want us to go on family bike rides, and family walks, and family weekends away. I don;t know, I am having lots of wobbles/doubts etc, but generally I feel like this is the right thing to do.
That's it in a nutshell. That sums up why I'm a full time mum. Never ever thought I'd be a full time mum as I was so set on a career and earning my place in life through paid employment. Have to admit that I still have a giant chip on my shoulder about giving it all up...until I remember why I did.
I think it's a very brave and un-selfish decision T&M and I applaud you for it. I do hope you come back to horses after the children have grown up and need you less - and you must keep riding and having a reasonable amount of "me" time (don't go too far the other way and loose yourself if you see what I mean.)
I couldn't do what you're doing - I'm far too selfish - which is one of the reasons I should avoid having children. :tongue:
I couldn't do what you're doing - I'm far too selfish - which is one of the reasons I should avoid having children. :tongue:
I spent a life time of not riding - OH felt it very dangerous and there was no money.
I envied my wealthier neighbour who owned a horse. But later I found out that her kids who had riding lessons too - hated their riding school and hated being carted off to see the horse. My own mother was the same, jealous of her father's horses which mattered to him so much.
I rode in the end. After we both retired. I think of it as a luxury - remember Mark telling us how grateful we should feel to sit on a horse? I do. And if I can ride - ride as much as I want to now - then it is something that will always be there waiting for you too. In fact you not riding intensively day in day out all your life, may actually spare your hips and allow you to continue in old age.
There is though something else. People who work with horses and are paid for it. I do believe that women, including mothers, should be able to go out to work. I know that work hours are hard for women Riding instructors with kids and for stable staff too. But have you ever thought of qualifying to teach riding? Or finding work on a yard or training or riding out young horses there? While your kids are in school.
We only have one life - I dont think I would have been satisfied with a life spent professionally entirely with horses. But it is something you might consider? At some point. And even if only one day a week.
I envied my wealthier neighbour who owned a horse. But later I found out that her kids who had riding lessons too - hated their riding school and hated being carted off to see the horse. My own mother was the same, jealous of her father's horses which mattered to him so much.
I rode in the end. After we both retired. I think of it as a luxury - remember Mark telling us how grateful we should feel to sit on a horse? I do. And if I can ride - ride as much as I want to now - then it is something that will always be there waiting for you too. In fact you not riding intensively day in day out all your life, may actually spare your hips and allow you to continue in old age.
There is though something else. People who work with horses and are paid for it. I do believe that women, including mothers, should be able to go out to work. I know that work hours are hard for women Riding instructors with kids and for stable staff too. But have you ever thought of qualifying to teach riding? Or finding work on a yard or training or riding out young horses there? While your kids are in school.
We only have one life - I dont think I would have been satisfied with a life spent professionally entirely with horses. But it is something you might consider? At some point. And even if only one day a week.
very interesting comments on here. I think in the old days when I was a kid, parents had little choice whether they had kids as contraception was in its infancy. The outlook towards children was very different, my parents had three kids and we were all very much wanted but money was tight. My mum was very good at managing her finances, we had a nice home, food on the table and summer and winter clothes. No proper holidays but our relatives lived in Wales and Yorkshire so we had a visit there each year which was always enormous fun. We had piano lessons and dancing lessons but for the rest of it we played on our own. Mum and dad never took us anywhere. Dad had to work and mum was busy in the house. My mum eventually worked when I got to about 12 years old and the extra money paid for things like the phone and central heating and furniture. I hated the dancing and the piano so I had riding lessons instead. If we had any interests we had to get on with them ourselves.
My friend and I would trek miles on our bikes to get to horse yards, I don't think my mum had a clue where I was as no one had to worry then. Nothing stopped me from getting on though, I found horse people, via the bike, I could easily be up at 4am on weekends and up to the yard then off to shows in the back of someones box. Mixed and met all the top riders of the time including David Broom and Harvey Smith to name a few, no one new I was a little girl from a normal housing estate with working class parents.
These days the emphasis has changed to 'choosing to have children' which I think has changed the outlook towards bringing them up and 'giving them everything'. Women are assumed 'odd' if they don't have a career of some sort. Its all a bit uncertain where the boundaries lay.
I think thyme is right if she chooses to spend time with her kids, that's fine especially as she has to work as well.
I actually think lots of kids suffer from having both parents working these days, being shunted about to child minders etc. I think a lot of women put their careers above their children and its more like there kids are their 'hobby' rather than their offspring to be nurtured and guided into rounded individuals.
Its like everyone wants a slice of everything and its just not possible.
My friend and I would trek miles on our bikes to get to horse yards, I don't think my mum had a clue where I was as no one had to worry then. Nothing stopped me from getting on though, I found horse people, via the bike, I could easily be up at 4am on weekends and up to the yard then off to shows in the back of someones box. Mixed and met all the top riders of the time including David Broom and Harvey Smith to name a few, no one new I was a little girl from a normal housing estate with working class parents.
These days the emphasis has changed to 'choosing to have children' which I think has changed the outlook towards bringing them up and 'giving them everything'. Women are assumed 'odd' if they don't have a career of some sort. Its all a bit uncertain where the boundaries lay.
I think thyme is right if she chooses to spend time with her kids, that's fine especially as she has to work as well.
I actually think lots of kids suffer from having both parents working these days, being shunted about to child minders etc. I think a lot of women put their careers above their children and its more like there kids are their 'hobby' rather than their offspring to be nurtured and guided into rounded individuals.
Its like everyone wants a slice of everything and its just not possible.
When i was growing up on a council estate, very low income, I had my dreams of ponies but no opportunities to ride - if I went to church and Sunday school, i was allowed to have a riding lesson on a Friday night.
After school i used to take the bus and go and visit an elderly semi abandoned mare (ex grade a showjumper) and feed her and groom her and eventually shamed her owners into providing some feed for her. I went there every day just to get a touch and smell of a horse.
When i was 12, i was lucky enough to be introduced to someone who ran a yard, had racehorses, stallion at stud and ran a little riding school and livery. He let me work for him - I used to cycle where at weekends - 10 miles each way and every day in the school holidays.
We didn't get carted around by parents everywhere - we didn't have a car and didn't have an inside loo until i was 14! We had to make our own entertainment as kids.
Now I think parents over compensate for their lack of time to spend with their kids by spending on them - i am horrified at the amount of money on school holidays, and what is expected - a day out almost every day. I never had that, i had to read books, play in the garden, help my mum bake cakes. We had two weeks at the seaside when we rented a house and self catered and that was it.
My dad played a bit of golf, my mum did a bit of going to the shops (dragging me along) but most of the time we had to entertain ourselves.
The pressure now on both parents to work - my dad worked and mum worked part time - and to home own (and huge mortgages) has changed it all but there are still lots of folks out there who are time poor and who would welcome help with their horses. Until i was 42, i never had a horse of my own, i either found free ones, or shared, or helped out at yards etc.
It's very hard to juggle it all.
After school i used to take the bus and go and visit an elderly semi abandoned mare (ex grade a showjumper) and feed her and groom her and eventually shamed her owners into providing some feed for her. I went there every day just to get a touch and smell of a horse.
When i was 12, i was lucky enough to be introduced to someone who ran a yard, had racehorses, stallion at stud and ran a little riding school and livery. He let me work for him - I used to cycle where at weekends - 10 miles each way and every day in the school holidays.
We didn't get carted around by parents everywhere - we didn't have a car and didn't have an inside loo until i was 14! We had to make our own entertainment as kids.
Now I think parents over compensate for their lack of time to spend with their kids by spending on them - i am horrified at the amount of money on school holidays, and what is expected - a day out almost every day. I never had that, i had to read books, play in the garden, help my mum bake cakes. We had two weeks at the seaside when we rented a house and self catered and that was it.
My dad played a bit of golf, my mum did a bit of going to the shops (dragging me along) but most of the time we had to entertain ourselves.
The pressure now on both parents to work - my dad worked and mum worked part time - and to home own (and huge mortgages) has changed it all but there are still lots of folks out there who are time poor and who would welcome help with their horses. Until i was 42, i never had a horse of my own, i either found free ones, or shared, or helped out at yards etc.
It's very hard to juggle it all.
What a brave decision! A really honest one that has set me & a lot of others thinking (even if they won't admit it out loud).
I never had children, so can only imagine the difficulties you are facing. As they grow up & life changes, you may be able to look at things differently. I know there are many times when my OH would like me to do things, but Josh comes first.......
Well done & thank you for your honesty
I never had children, so can only imagine the difficulties you are facing. As they grow up & life changes, you may be able to look at things differently. I know there are many times when my OH would like me to do things, but Josh comes first.......
Well done & thank you for your honesty
I have to admit it has definitely got me thinking especially since i have two young children. My daughter does ride, does PC and has her own pony but feel she would rather just do PC than having her own pony and probs only have him as company to my own horse.
If i didn't have horses we would have a lot more money and do things more off the cuff than having to spends months organising it.
I do love my horses but it is a lifestyle and not a hobby, if i were to every sell them in the future i would probs feel a bit lost as im used to going up the yard everyday even though i don't ride as often as i would like but again i could take it or leave it as i kind of see them a big expensive pets majority of the time.
Think the reason i wouldn't consider selling them is i want to be able to secure their future and know they will be looked after for the rest of their days. However, once they go to horsey heaven i will not buy anymore and will enjoy my life horse free.
If i didn't have horses we would have a lot more money and do things more off the cuff than having to spends months organising it.
I do love my horses but it is a lifestyle and not a hobby, if i were to every sell them in the future i would probs feel a bit lost as im used to going up the yard everyday even though i don't ride as often as i would like but again i could take it or leave it as i kind of see them a big expensive pets majority of the time.
Think the reason i wouldn't consider selling them is i want to be able to secure their future and know they will be looked after for the rest of their days. However, once they go to horsey heaven i will not buy anymore and will enjoy my life horse free.
I've only just remembered and realised that I did this T&M!!! :redface:
I was the "black sheep" in my family that was horse-mad from a very early age. Was desperate for a pony but my parents divorced so money was tight. I finally bought Whisky when I was 18 and working full-time but I sold him at 21 to get a mortgage and get married to Mr Domane number one. Then I was busy churning out 3 babies and there was never enough money to go round, let alone "waste" on horses so that part of my life was shut away in my head.
It was only when the kids were grown up - some 21 years later - I was divorced and remarried to Dom and we'd been together 7 years when I suddenly said one day "I think I want to start riding again". I went to a local RS to book a lesson and as I walked in the sights, sounds and smells, triggered a reaction in my brain that I can only describe as "the floodgates of memories opened" and everything all tumbled back into my head and slotted into place. People who had never known me "horsey" later told me that they can see that horses fill a hole in my life that they never noticed was there until now.
So what I would say to you T&M is "bide your time". One day your children will be grown up and have left the nest.... then you get your "me" time back again and you will come back to horses enriched and with a different attitude (and possibly a few more nerves, unfortunately! :giggle
I was the "black sheep" in my family that was horse-mad from a very early age. Was desperate for a pony but my parents divorced so money was tight. I finally bought Whisky when I was 18 and working full-time but I sold him at 21 to get a mortgage and get married to Mr Domane number one. Then I was busy churning out 3 babies and there was never enough money to go round, let alone "waste" on horses so that part of my life was shut away in my head.
It was only when the kids were grown up - some 21 years later - I was divorced and remarried to Dom and we'd been together 7 years when I suddenly said one day "I think I want to start riding again". I went to a local RS to book a lesson and as I walked in the sights, sounds and smells, triggered a reaction in my brain that I can only describe as "the floodgates of memories opened" and everything all tumbled back into my head and slotted into place. People who had never known me "horsey" later told me that they can see that horses fill a hole in my life that they never noticed was there until now.
So what I would say to you T&M is "bide your time". One day your children will be grown up and have left the nest.... then you get your "me" time back again and you will come back to horses enriched and with a different attitude (and possibly a few more nerves, unfortunately! :giggle
I guess compared to you I am a total slacker of a horse owner! lol
I volunteer at t-ball and watch the swim lessons and take the kids to playdates.
I feed the horses in the morning and in the evening and in between ... well they just sort of stand around by themselves and eat hay.
It doesn't really keep me from watching their soccer games in the evening or taking them swimming in the afternoon.
Maybe I am totally missing out on something though?!?!
What do you do all day with the horses? Do you work them all day every day? Do you think horses in training forget a lot if they are left to do nothing for a couple of days?
Maybe I should get off my rear and do more with the horses...?
I have it easy since I work from home though. Maybe that's the difference? Are you trying to cram it all into your little bit of free time in the evenings? That would have to be tough!
I am just still stunned that you can go from 110% full force and 'nothing but' to quitting it completely.
That was unexpected.Sounds like you know what you want now so more power to you.
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