Chunky Monkey gang

You don't sound like you do a terrible job to me, rather that you put their needs and welfare first.

Please tryto make some time for you next week, you need and deserve it, if it feels selfish then remember you can't help others if you've fallen apart yourself. I think finding somewhere to hack is an excellent idea, not only will it give you something you enjoy and get you back up to speed riding but if you can ride a few different types it will give you an idea of what you want to look for - though no doubt something will turn up saying "me!" irrespective of all plans! I can't remember where you are, but maybe if you let us know when you're ready to start looking then if any of us lknow of something we could let you know if it's not too far away? No point me telling you about something if you're up north!
 
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You are too far away from me for me to give you any practical help, so sending you my best thoughts and good vibes instead. I wish you were near, I could offer you a ride on my magical Fuzzy pony cob, she's so sweet and a lovely ride. I think that booking hacks / lessons is a good idea for you, as already said, you need to make time for yourself and getting a riding lesson in is a good way of doing that. I know how weird and sad you will be feeling right now, it will get better. Try and be nice to your body and eat properly though and sleep when you can. xxxxx
 
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My last 4 ewe lambs should be going to there new home today. Theyve been advertised as breeding lambs so hopefully they will have a future elsewhere. It will be sad to see them go but at least i feel more positive for there future after the week ive had.

Roger looked even worse yesterday. Is now visibly lame and in pain as he is grinding his teeth. It would seem that the maggots burrowed far enough to have affected part of the brain that controls the spine.

Spent yesterday liasing with people to find a new ram. Having to be careful as most of the east side of the country is under blue tongue restrictions. Im currently not in the zone so can only buy from a non restricted area. The map shows im only 40 miles from the restricted zone now though. So bluetongue is spreading.

After much liasing it turns out there is a ram about a mile away as the crow flies. Its about a 10 minute drive. He has done his job where he is and i can collect him on sunday. I cant have him today before the ewe lambs go as it puts me on 6 day standstill so the ewe lambs couldnt go till next weekend then. Hes will only be on loan but i have to keep him till next spring. I will then look for a new ram to buy next autumn. Which will make things easier. He can stay with the ewes till lambing.
Ive had to keep two ewe lambs replacements this year instead of the one. The plan was to just keep one and let it stay with the retireds. But now theyve gone just one would have not worked. Twos company. They will stay together and well away from the ram. I will befriend them with Quins assistance and get them tame, hopefully eating out my hand over the winter.

Todays task is to foot trim the 10 ewes i have left before they meet there man tomorrow. Technically he should be isolated but im going to put him straight in with the girls or i might not have a shed left by evening. If hes left in a field on his own he might stress and try escape and i dont want him getting caught in fencing.
 
Today was a long day again. More of less everything went to plan. Sheep just took a minor detour - twice!!!! as i ran them up the road to the sheds. They darn well know where there going normally but i guess without the wise old leaders now they decide on making new plans.

Everything is set for tomorrow. Loaning was a wise choice i hope, as one of the areas i was considering going to buy from yesterday ive just seen was put into blue tongue zone yesterday. So that now rules out that option.
 
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I was hoping for a quiet week, but my mums health issues have got worse this week, so thats superseded time for me. Probably a good thing to stay busy.
Her legs are now leaking constantly from her thighs so ive spent my time removing and rebandaging her legs. Putting coverings on the chair and bed, washing sopping bed sheets and towels. The lounge carpet got soaked with exudant so i ended up washing a large area of that. Whilst my mum isnt incontinent the fluid that is leaking from the legs smells so bad it has made the lounge carpet stink. Ive got a dehumidifier going to help dry that. She cant lift her legs into bed because of the weight of the sopping banages wrapped round.

I still find it tough going out to do the animals. I am missing the horses, hate the empty paddocks and miss my cuddles with Chunky.
I have resumed my evening walks up across the hill with Quin. So at least it gets me out the house. Weight lose 0 though as i seem to be comfort eating.
 
chunky monkey said:
I was hoping for a quiet week, but my mums health issues have got worse this week, so thats superseded time for me. Probably a good thing to stay busy.
Her legs are now leaking constantly from her thighs so ive spent my time removing and rebandaging her legs. Putting coverings on the chair and bed, washing sopping bed sheets and towels. The lounge carpet got soaked with exudant so i ended up washing a large area of that. Whilst my mum isnt incontinent the fluid that is leaking from the legs smells so bad it has made the lounge carpet stink. Ive got a dehumidifier going to help dry that. She cant lift her legs into bed because of the weight of the sopping banages wrapped round.

I still find it tough going out to do the animals. I am missing the horses, hate the empty paddocks and miss my cuddles with Chunky.
I have resumed my evening walks up across the hill with Quin. So at least it gets me out the house. Weight lose 0 though as i seem to be comfort eating.
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That sounds really tough for mum and you, are you getting support from doctors/district nurses?
 
No not properly. District nurses are so short staffed. We asked for increased visits last week. They where only doing 2 visits a week. Nothing increased. They tell you not to sit in sopping badages. To call them. We did. It took them 36 hours before they got someone out. In the meantime i changed it myself for her.
They have now agreed every other day visits for the next week. We shall see if it happens. They dont stick to what they say though. They came yesterday but its all soaked, so ive just changed them all now.
 
Do you know of anyone looking to loan out something short term maybe so you can still get your cuddles?
I was totally lost when J went and I had absolutely no idea what I wanted, just that I needed something. I don't care about the riding part, I love the being with above everything.
Looking at an empty space must be feel awful. x
 
In all honesty i dont think it would be right or fair to take on a horse just now. Im more thinking of looking in the new year. Im really just thinking of going somewhere for lessons for my horse fix.
 
It's probably the last thing you feel like doing, but it sounds like you need to kick up a fussabout your mum to get her the care you both need her to have. There's clearly a major problem and it sounds like she isn't getting the treatment and care she needs - surely more can be done for her than just changing bandages? Are there any support groups for her condition that can advise?And any carer support groups that can back you.

Big hugs to you, not many people would cope with what you have going on.
 
chunky monkey said:
No not properly. District nurses are so short staffed. We asked for increased visits last week. They where only doing 2 visits a week. Nothing increased. They tell you not to sit in sopping badages. To call them. We did. It took them 36 hours before they got someone out. In the meantime i changed it myself for her.
They have now agreed every other day visits for the next week. We shall see if it happens. They dont stick to what they say though. They came yesterday but its all soaked, so ive just changed them all now.
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That's horrible, I would be kicking up a fuss. They may well be short staffed but if they can't provide the care then they can contract in carers to assist you. Perhaps a call to social services for support, occupational health might be able to help with making things physically easier for mum to manage like a height adjustable bed or a swivel mat or something.
 
chunky monkey said:
No not properly. District nurses are so short staffed. We asked for increased visits last week. They where only doing 2 visits a week. Nothing increased. They tell you not to sit in sopping badages. To call them. We did. It took them 36 hours before they got someone out. In the meantime i changed it myself for her.
They have now agreed every other day visits for the next week. We shall see if it happens. They dont stick to what they say though. They came yesterday but its all soaked, so ive just changed them all now.
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I am so sorry to read you're having to do all this. I really hope next week is better for you, it must be so hard going for you. xxx
 
Im already liasing with adult social care. All they can do is 'advise'. Basically i have to sort out her care needs myself and find a suitable agency to come in and help. Ive told them what i feel she needs help with. They just come back and say someone can come in and make her lunch etc. I told them i am doing that. They can give me a list of agencies but havent pointed me in the direction of any agency that can do mums personal hygiene which is what she needs. So i will have to ring round and ask if an agency's do that sort if care.

Honestly dont get old. There is a system in place but its all talk, no action from what i am finding. Im still left sorting everything. Spend hours on the phone and dealing with home visits for very little help.

If she was living on her own or had certain ailments the system and help is different.
 
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That's a good idea, and people are more likely to in the winter. It could also get you new contacts for when you do start to look.
 
Sorry you're having such a difficult time with your mum. I hope you can get some help sorted. Good luck with your horsey fix search.
 
chunky monkey said:
Ive placed a little ad on my local riding group to see if anyone needs a rider. Given its winter i doubt there will be much i can fit in. But if you dont ask.
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That's a good idea. It's that word and mouth thing and getting to know a few contacts.
 
Im not really looking yet, but i saw a horse for sale ad this week which caught my eye. It was totally different to my previous boys, even my mum approved and said i should go and see. Im not going to as im not ready yet.

Rogers sadly gone downhill and it spending alot of time laying down. His front knees have swollen badly and hes struggling to get up. I walked him out in the field today to see if it would reduce but he couldnt stand very long so we headed back before he went down. Hes only been eating a little bit too which is more than last week but its not enough.

Frank has been a very busy boy in Rogers place. 2 last week, 8 this week. So all the ladies are now in lamb🤞. I will change his raddle colour in the next few days and wait for remarks.
Hes a nice friendly boy, a little too friendly. Ive had to have eyes in the back of my head. As hes settled in hes got a bit more confident about me. Ive turned round to find him 4ft away, giving me the stare that says im about to charge you. Ive managed to put the hay wheelbarrow inbetween to save me a few times.
 
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There's no point looking if you aren't ready, you'll know when the time's right.

Poor Roger, that doesn't sound hopeful but I'll keep my fingers crossed for him. Just watch yourself around Frank!
 
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