Lacking Confidence at the trot...

[Tiger Lily]

Hi guys,
I am seriously lacking in confidence when I ride. I get scared very easily and have had a few panic attacks on horseback. Nothing major has happened, but this all stemmed from a bad fall I had. Now i find myself getting scared and panicking whenever my horse goes to trot, or does anything unexpected ( trip, cough/sneeze, spook etc.).I desperately want to improve, but have been stuck in a rut for quite some time now. I switched barns,and am hoping a change of horse will help. Any suggestions on developing my confidence?

EDIT: Woah guys this blew up a lot more than i expected! Thank you all so much for the advice, I didn't get to thank you all individually but I really do appreciate it and will take it all into consideration.

EDIT 2: Again, I'm so grateful for everyone's advice. I'll be talking to my instructor and hopefully we'll be able to incorporate it into a plan moving forward.

 

[Jessey]

Have you considered NLP? My friend was petrified of hacking out a few years ago, couldn't even get to the end of the drive without a panic attack, after some NLP theres no stopping her, she did her first graded endurance ride last year, took part in the London new years day parade (through central London with 8500 people in the parade and half a million watching) and does at least 1 pleasure ride a month at various amazing stately homes/castles etc. It might be worth considering to get you out of the rut you are in

 

[Calluna]

Have you tried sitting to the trot rather than trying to post? I was the most uncoordinated beginner when I decided to start riding in my forties. Try as she could the first RI I went to could not teach me to rise to the trot, so ended up teaching me to sit instead. It's not conventional, but if conventional doesn't work, you have to try a different approach!
Also, in terms of feeling secure in the seat sitting tall, looking up and keeping legs long is what works best for me.

 

[Trewsers]

Believe it or not even after thirteen years of owning and knowing my own horse like the back of my hand I can still have my wobbly moments and so much so that when we first landed here after having a few weeks off riding I felt my mouth go dry, legs like jelly etc and that was only walking about the yard! Confidence is so fragile and can come and go and one thing that does work for me is small steps and taking it slowly. I always tell myself I can get off at any time, it's meant to be fun, so there are no rules about pushing myself too much. It's sort of different because I don't have lessons, it's just me and my OH who encourages me from the ground. A good teacher that knows you are nervous helps loads too.

 

[Skib]

Tiger Lily - You dont say anything about your age, why you want to ride horses or whether it is someone else obliging you to do it?
How did you have your bad accident?
And what is it that you like so much that you want to resume?
I am not saying that you shouldnt. But riding is a risky business and in my view it isnt something anyone should do unless they really want to.

Next there is the question of trot. Both riding and sitting trot can be hard to learn, but there are some easy ways of tackling both. Both sorts of trot make people insecure in the saddle at first. Sitting because the horse rocks from side to side. And rising because you lift your seat our of the saddle and have to balance on your feet instead. So which are you learning?

 

[carthorse]

I like Calluna's suggestion.

I'd also say don't focus on your fall, either when you ride or at any other time. The more you focus on it & replay it in your mind the more power it has over you. So instead whenever you find yourself thinking about it instead pull up a memory of when things went well - remember how it felt, how you were sat, how you moved, how it made you feel about yourself and the horse. Remind yourself that you can do this & do it well! It sounds trite, but it can make a big difference to how you feel & that's reflected in your riding. hen you think about it you've almost certainly got a lot more good experiences than bad ones so why focus on the minority?

 

[Tiger Lily]

Tiger Lily - You dont say anything about your age, why you want to ride horses or whether it is someone else obliging you to do it?
How did you have your bad accident?
And what is it that you like so much that you want to resume?
I am not saying that you shouldnt. But riding is a risky business and in my view it isnt something anyone should do unless they really want to.

Next there is the question of trot. Both riding and sitting trot can be hard to learn, but there are some easy ways of tackling both. Both sorts of trot make people insecure in the saddle at first. Sitting because the horse rocks from side to side. And rising because you lift your seat our of the saddle and have to balance on your feet instead. So which are you learning?

I don't generally like to comment about my age, but i am a teenager. I ride because I want to, and because I find it rewarding and fun when I am successful. My fall occurred when I was in sitting trot with no stirrups. I got nervous and my horse could sense it and began to canter. I was only walk-trot and wasn't prepared for a speed change, so i was terrified. Went around a sharp turn and fell off.

Its not the trot itself I'm scared of, its that feeling of being completely out of control and falling off that scares me. I can both post and sit the trot, but right now i'm doing more posting than sitting, per my instructor's request.

 

[Tiger Lily]

I like Calluna's suggestion.

I'd also say don't focus on your fall, either when you ride or at any other time. The more you focus on it & replay it in your mind the more power it has over you. So instead whenever you find yourself thinking about it instead pull up a memory of when things went well - remember how it felt, how you were sat, how you moved, how it made you feel about yourself and the horse. Remind yourself that you can do this & do it well! It sounds trite, but it can make a big difference to how you feel & that's reflected in your riding. hen you think about it you've almost certainly got a lot more good experiences than bad ones so why focus on the minority?

Thanks so much for the advice! I'll keep it in mind!

 

[Tiger Lily]

Have you considered NLP? My friend was petrified of hacking out a few years ago, couldn't even get to the end of the drive without a panic attack, after some NLP theres no stopping her, she did her first graded endurance ride last year, took part in the London new years day parade (through central London with 8500 people in the parade and half a million watching) and does at least 1 pleasure ride a month at various amazing stately homes/castles etc. It might be worth considering to get you out of the rut you are in

I'm not very familiar with NLP. What is it exactly?

 

[Tiger Lily]

Have you tried sitting to the trot rather than trying to post? I was the most uncoordinated beginner when I decided to start riding in my forties. Try as she could the first RI I went to could not teach me to rise to the trot, so ended up teaching me to sit instead. It's not conventional, but if conventional doesn't work, you have to try a different approach!
Also, in terms of feeling secure in the seat sitting tall, looking up and keeping legs long is what works best for me.

I'll give it a try. I'm not the best at sitting trot so maybe some practice would help while boosting my confidence. Thanks for the advice.

 

[Skib]

Thank you for answering the questions - all important information.
I notice that you fell because the horse cantered when you were riding sitting trot with no stirrups.
From my own experience (I learned to ride as an adult) I can suggest a reason. I didnt fall off but I did regularly get cantered off with, even on the calmest ponies. And once they cantered they went on cantering.
An instructor on this forum eventually suggested that when sitting trot, one is taught to do it smoothly by relaxing. I was nicely relaxed and that meant my legs were very relaxed as well. Unfortunately relaxed legs and ankles (which one does need to ride well) can brush against the sides of the horse at every stride. That can happen both in sitting trot and in canter. The horse understands the repeated touch of ones legs as a request to move forward, or as you saw, to go up a gait and to canter.

I am not saying that is what happened to you, but I think it sometimes helps to consider possible causes. We often think when starting to ride that putting your leg on the horse (a touch) is a definite ask to go forwards. But have you considered that holding your legs steady on the sides of the horse acts as a brake because to move forward any four legged animal needs to swing its body from side to side so as to make room for the hind leg to step forward.

So may be when relaxing and sitting the trot you could think of keeping your legs steady in the same way as you keep your hands steady on the reins? Dont push them in on the horse, but do prevent them from bushing unintentionally against its sides. And the same when you begin to learn canter.

And by the way riding sitting trot with no stirrups or sitting trot bareback is an excellent way of teaching riders to balance and sit safely on a horse. You dont want to fall off of course. I learned it on the lunge. But I was taught that way, like you, and it sounds good.

 

[Skib]

re what Calluna says. My OH learned to ride sitting first (USA style) It took him a year to learn to post or rise at trot. He could canter weeks before he managed rising trot!

 

[Jessey]

NLP is neuro linguistic programming, it is basically teaching your brain to react in a more positive way about things, remapping your reactions basically what carthorse suggested

 

[carthorse]

@Jessey , I didn't realise there was a posh name for it!

 

[Tiger Lily]

NLP is neuro linguistic programming, it is basically teaching your brain to react in a more positive way about things, remapping your reactions basically what carthorse suggested

Oh okay. I'll give it a try!

 

[Tiger Lily]

Thank you for answering the questions - all important information.
I notice that you fell because the horse cantered when you were riding sitting trot with no stirrups.
From my own experience (I learned to ride as an adult) I can suggest a reason. I didnt fall off but I did regularly get cantered off with, even on the calmest ponies. And once they cantered they went on cantering.
An instructor on this forum eventually suggested that when sitting trot, one is taught to do it smoothly by relaxing. I was nicely relaxed and that meant my legs were very relaxed as well. Unfortunately relaxed legs and ankles (which one does need to ride well) can brush against the sides of the horse at every stride. That can happen both in sitting trot and in canter. The horse understands the repeated touch of ones legs as a request to move forward, or as you saw, to go up a gait and to canter.

I am not saying that is what happened to you, but I think it sometimes helps to consider possible causes. We often think when starting to ride that putting your leg on the horse (a touch) is a definite ask to go forwards. But have you considered that holding your legs steady on the sides of the horse acts as a brake because to move forward any four legged animal needs to swing its body from side to side so as to make room for the hind leg to step forward.

So may be when relaxing and sitting the trot you could think of keeping your legs steady in the same way as you keep your hands steady on the reins? Dont push them in on the horse, but do prevent them from bushing unintentionally against its sides. And the same when you begin to learn canter.

And by the way riding sitting trot with no stirrups or sitting trot bareback is an excellent way of teaching riders to balance and sit safely on a horse. You dont want to fall off of course. I learned it on the lunge. But I was taught that way, like you, and it sounds good.

I'll have to talk to my instructor; maybe we could work out a plan.

 

[Olivia C]

Hi,
I am by no means an expert but I have however, suffered similarly. I went through a phase at my riding school of getting worried of who I would ride in my lesson/what we would be doing/ in case anything bad happened. I would be worried to the point I didn't want to go and have my lesson. The same summer this happened I did my first beach ride, I borrowed a horse there - had great fun and everything went well. That beach ride made realise that I actually did enjoy riding and needed to get over my unprovoked fears. I found that sitting after my lesson and writing all the times I felt happy and all the times I felt scared from that lesson. After I realised this, I would try and think of happy memories while doing the happy parts of the lesson, and I would try and think of the same memories while doing things that made me nervous. I don't know how spooky your horse is, and if you are allowed to do this where you ride, but I also found putting my phone in my pocket and playing my favourite songs helpful. Have you spent lots of time bonding and building trust on the ground? I don't know if there is anyone you know, but If you know anyone willing to help, do you think it would help to see someone else riding your horse so you can see that he isn't going to be naughty? sorry for the long answer.