Have you ever lost it with your horse? I did :(

orbvalley

orbvalley

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Jan 15, 2008
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France, South
In the title:

I am so ashamed that today I just totally got to the end of my tether with Cocaïne - we were going out on a "hack" (in inverted commas as she hates hacking, won't advance forward, spins, bucks , rears blah blah blah)
Having had 10 weeks off schooling due to a splinted finger ( which is now ok) I took her for a "hack" today with a view to a schooling lesson later on in the week.
No such peace/luck - out we went, I got up, she wouldn't go forward. I made her circle circle circle , reverse, reverse reverse, hoping she see the easy option and go forward but oh no!
I walked in hand, got up in saddle, on offf on off prob 10 times or more. No forward gear still:mad:
I got more and more p'd off.
We came across the "llama field " (a regular issue on this route) she snorted, blew flames out of her nose, tap danced , etc etc etc ------ all normal:rolleyes:
passed the llamas, she wouldn't stop snorting, barging, invading my space, tap dancing:mad:
I got so P''''''''d off that I'm ashamed to confess that I put her reins over her head (I was still on the ground) let go and said "do what you f***ing like":eek: so she did - tail up in the air and galloped off full speed up the bridle path to "home"
I eventually caught up with her at the livery yard chomping on grass outside her field:rolleyes::mad:
Took her in the school and lunged her, untacked, no treats, no strokes, no affection, and dumped her back in her field:oops::(
At what point will this little miss ever turn a corner? or will she not? does she need a stronger rider? currently thinking should I give up and take up a hobby with something that doesn't have an opinion:(:(:(

Cookies for anyone that got to the end of my rant and triple cyber hugs to anyone that can be a¨¨sed to reply to my self indulgent chuck dolly out of pram nearly 47 year old self:(:(:(
 
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Oh hell yeah, I've lost it and felt very ashamed afterwards. I'm impressed your reaction was to tell her to do one rather than get angry with her and take it out on her. I'm ashamed that on the worst occasion while I have been treating my boy's hoof wound, I chased him round the stable as he wouldn't stand, he'd already broken his headcollar leadrope and upended his water trough all over brand new clean shavings. It was taking me about 3 hours to tend to him at night and all of this meant I'd have to start again And I was knackered. I felt awful immediately afterwards.
And then about three weeks later I had a cut on my finger, accidentally got the stuff on it that I'd been using to clean the wound and by god it stung like hell and then I really felt bad for being so tough on him. I would never hit my horse, tbh it would probably hurt me more than him, but I backed him up like you wouldn't believe as he just kept pushing through me and I was really ashamedly angry at him and shouting.
 
OMG sorry but I laughed as I did just the same thing on Saturday.

It is horrid when they are like this, you wonder why bother to love and care out all the hours in under the sun. All you want to do is have a nice ride and wham the little Fu&kers do this. I get it and I get your reaction too. This was my Saturday:

Got pony from field to go to a comp.
Legs where a little muddy so went to the outdoor hose down area, Pony randomly pulled back (never done that before) walked off a stride or two to eat grass, Looked up and saw a lovely stretch of freedom and galloped off up the yard full pelt.
Caught pony took to indoor hose down area as now all legs where covered in mud.
Went to walk back in to my barn and ginger had other ideas, stood on back legs waving to the whole yard indicting that mum was being mean he wanted field I said barn.,.. I won
Booted up and took to trailer were the little shit bag refused to load.....never has he done his. Pulls back and runs up the car park. caught again 1/2 later get the shit in to the trailer,.

Get the comp don't really want to get in the ticking bomb as I have only 1/4 to warm up. Get on and no Mrs nice lady straight in to it.

Does test which actually was pretty good

Change tack to start jump part,
Jumps warm up like a dream
refuses first fence then second then third - no reason
back to warm up jumps perfect 5 times
Takes 15 mins to reload

Check score when I got home the ginger shits dressage score was 67.11 the top slot was 67.88 no one near us after that.
 
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You will need to fill me in on the history of your relationship. Age etc.

Can they turn corner yes because it took us 18 months before mine went off the yard. I had done 18 months of the leading out and back with year of it leading out and riding home.
I haven't lost it with her because she had lost it with me! On taking her out inhand she has left me standing. It was her version of you do what the hell you like cos I am off home.
From what you are saying yours needs the confidence from the rider and at the moment they need that rider on the ground. I wouldn't want yours taking of up the road with traffic like mine did.

Can you go back step. Lead out for a week. Lead out and ride back. Then see if she will go off or not in the third week? Be prepared to lead and don't give any more thought than it needs. Don't focus on it as a problem. Carry on schooling or doing whatever else you do.
 
I lost it big time with mine once. He was going through a period where he wouldn't let me catch him. He was letting me get about 1 metre away and then turning away. I really did completely lose it. I was chasing him round the field shouting at the top of my voice "you f***ing horse, if you want to f***ing run away then you can f***ing run round the f***ing field, all f***ing day". It went on for about 10 minutes and all my yard came out to watch. It was such a release of emotion and I cannot believe the words that came out of my mouth! I then stormed back to the yard to get my hat and schooling whip (I would never have hit him, I just wanted to chase him), when my yard manager made me stop and sit down. She then walked straight up to him and caught him no problem.

After that he wouldn't let me catch him for 2 weeks. It wasn't a nice or productive thing to do, but after 4 years I think he has forgiven me now!
 
I have lost it a few times and feltcompletely awful and very ashamed afterwards. Once when he bit me of my chest and did it with such force I fell over landing of the matting! I was so angry with him!!! It was like "You f**king horse! How dare you f**king bite me!! I wasn't going to work you but now I f**king am!!" And put his headcollar and yanked him out the stable :( Even thinking f that now I feel awful! Other time was when it was 06:30 and I was running late for work had just got the water right using the last bit of poultice I had left. Vet wrap at the ready. Lift his foot up put the poultice on start doig the vet wrap. The bugger puts his foot straight down!!!! Poultice on the floor vet wrap now wet and wont stick!!!
 
I think we've all been there, we end up screaming or sobbing, or possibly both o_O

There is always room for change and progression, I like @newforest idea to lead out and ride back, it's difficult if you are on your own and you can only go certain routes. I also might consider giving cocaine some calmer to help get past the stress and fear, something stong but gentle like chamomile might just help her see that it's not all so terrible out there :) and just keep at it, start off small and gradually build on it, for some plain repetition gets them over it but if they continue to be scared each time it just adds to the problem and you need to step back and prevent them reaching that stage before finishing the session. Ruddy horses, who'd 'ave 'em! ;)
 
Last edited:
Jessey said:
I think we've all been there, we end up screaming or sobbing, or possibly both o_O

There is always room for change and progression, I like @newforest idea to lead out and ride back, it's difficult if you are on your own and you can only go certain routes. I also might consider giving cocaine some calmer to help get past the stress and fear, something stong but gentle like chamomile might just help him see that it's not all so terrible out there :) and just keep at it, start off small and gradually build on it, for some plain repetition gets them over it but if they continue to be scared each time it just adds to the problem and you need to step back and prevent them reaching that stage before finishing the session. Ruddy horses, who'd 'ave 'em! ;)
Click to expand...
Am I the only one who read this quickly and thought you wanted to give the horse cocaine?
 
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I totally lost it, screamed and flapped my hands at share horse when she tried to bite me. She was a dangerous and notorious biter. RI ticked me off but my share never tried to bite me again. My jacket sleeve still has the tear where she had almost managed it.
 
orbvalley said:
In the title:

I am so ashamed that today I just totally got to the end of my tether with Cocaïne - we were going out on a "hack" (in inverted commas as she hates hacking, won't advance forward, spins, bucks , rears blah blah blah)
Having had 10 weeks off schooling due to a splinted finger ( which is now ok) I took her for a "hack" today with a view to a schooling lesson later on in the week.
No such peace/luck - out we went, I got up, she wouldn't go forward. I made her circle circle circle , reverse, reverse reverse, hoping she see the easy option and go forward but oh no!
I walked in hand, got up in saddle, on offf on off prob 10 times or more. No forward gear still:mad:
I got more and more p'd off.
We came across the "llama field " (a regular issue on this route) she snorted, blew flames out of her nose, tap danced , etc etc etc ------ all normal:rolleyes:
passed the llamas, she wouldn't stop snorting, barging, invading my space, tap dancing:mad:
I got so P''''''''d off that I'm ashamed to confess that I put her reins over her head (I was still on the ground) let go and said "do what you f***ing like":eek: so she did - tail up in the air and galloped off full speed up the bridle path to "home"
I eventually caught up with her at the livery yard chomping on grass outside her field:rolleyes::mad:
Took her in the school and lunged her, untacked, no treats, no strokes, no affection, and dumped her back in her field:oops::(
At what point will this little miss ever turn a corner? or will she not? does she need a stronger rider? currently thinking should I give up and take up a hobby with something that doesn't have an opinion:(:(:(

Cookies for anyone that got to the end of my rant and triple cyber hugs to anyone that can be a¨¨sed to reply to my self indulgent chuck dolly out of pram nearly 47 year old self:(:(:(
Click to expand...

Oh you post could have been written by me ten years ago. Yes you will turn a corner - but I don't know when! I had a similar experience one evening hacking from a yard we were on. I completely lost it because she span and tried to go home using something as an excuse that she had encountered before on many occasions. She actually cantered home back to the yard. I got off fuming and took her into the indoor and got back on. I did not even speak to her at this point. I silently fumed and schooled her vigorously - but one thing it did do was make me more confident in canter, as this was something I had been avoiding! I think I was so annoyed it took away my fear completely. And, it also taught her that even scaring me and messing about on a hack did not mean no work at all! After that, we sort of reached a level of understanding and I also learnt which buttons to press - I knew I needed to occupy her more prior to hacking and turn it almost into the hack becoming an easy treat.
You are not alone in losing the plot. I have said some terribly unkind things to her in the past - good job she can't speak English!!!!! It is hard because they are horses and we are human bla bla and we always humanise just about every animal in some way.
 
Just wanted to add, it has made me feel less terrible lol knowing a few of us on here have had "words" at some point with our horses!!
My Storm can still test my patience like this morning - she peevishly blocked Chloe into one end of the byre and would not come for her breakfast and expected me to let her eat in there and have poor Chloe squashed unable to move! I admit to growling at her to move her to the other end!!!
 
Been there done that, although never let him go. It's very frustrating!

When I first got Charlie he hacked out fine just like he had when we tried him 2 months in he started playing up, I tried the using my whip that just wound him up more and we ended up in really deep ditch which was a bit scary! I couldn't circle him as ditches all along the road and he'll move sideways backwards without looking and didn't want to end up in a ditch again. I then didn't hack him for about 2 months I did a lot of work in the school with him getting him to listen to me, lots of transitions etc. Then started hacking in company letting him follow another horse. After a while I tried hacking him out on his own and he tried it on 200 yards down the road, I relaxed the reins and sat and waited it, any time he wanted to move I didn't let him, after 5 minuets I asked him to move forwards and he tried to spin round so we sat and waited again, it took 15 minuets and he went the whole way fine after that. Each time I hacked him it took less and time of standing waiting.
I also don't give him chance to nap even now when I hack on my own I get on and trot off the yard and carry on trotting until we're a fair way from the yard any backwards thought and he got booted on. I think this helps get them forward thinking. He now never naps and at the weekend lead the 17.2hh hunt horse past the scary fire that was smoking. If he feels like he's backing off something he gets kicked forwards so now he has the mind set if something's scary he has to go past. He now likes to be in front and often takes the lead himself when we hack with others.

Also find keep their attention on you helps, flexing their head so they can't look at monsters. I put sheepskin blinkers on Charlie for a while to limit what he sees. I never hacked if I wasn't in the mood to sit it out, I remember once after he'd being difficult the next time I hacked out I got on him and was so determined he wouldn't do it all the way I was telling him to get on, get on, good boy don't you bloody dare! Everyone must of thought I was mad but it worked he knew he wasn't going to win and never even bothered. You have to have that mind set they know when you mean business.

Find out why she's napping, Charlie's problem was the move really unsettled him and I wasn't riding him enough, I was riding him of course but I wasn't telling him what to do enough or taking control I was riding him like I rode my faithful old boy, when Charlie is a lot younger and needed his confidence from a rider being firm and telling him what they wanted rather than bumbling along just asking. It may be worth doing some ground work so she sees you as herd leader, even little stuff like making them back up when you enter their box helps.
 
Lost it more times than I can remember, only ever felt bad of it has been my behaviour and not the horse's that's caused the melt down.
 
Yes, I've lost it a few times..... usually with the babies when they have been losing their manners and pushing me over the edge . Albi had a few smacks over the years but my "meltdowns" generally lots of noise and movement but don't involve contact. I'm a firm believer of setting boundaries and sticking to them. If pushed there are consequences. I was the same with my kids..... I never made a false threat - and they knew that. All of my babies, whether two-legged or four, were lavished with lots of love, cuddles and kisses - but learned quick-smart to toe the line! Every "explosion" was the last choice but corrected behaviour that was never repeated.

I've never felt guilty for using this method but I have felt bad for smacking Albs in some situations in the past because that is venting my own frustration.
 
I lost it with the sh*tbag mare who bit my boob. I yelled, screamed, flung a head collar at her, and drove her to the back of her box with my rage.

Ziggy not so much, but he has made me very, very cross a couple of times.
 
oh gosh yes i have, many times but never, ever, ever let go. Aside from the risk to her and other people it teaches them they can get away with the behaviour and once they think they can get away from you they will try it again. I know she didnt actually get away from you this time but in her head she probably thinks she did. We’ve all done things in the heat of the moment, hope you’re feeling better about it today
 
I've lost it a few times. I'm having problems bridling billy at the moment due to the head shy issues. The other week he wouldn't let me put it over his ears. He was swinging his head round out of my reach. I ended up with the bit coming out of his mouth and hitting me in the wrist. It was so painful. At that point he got swiped.
I got cross with chunky yesterday as he won't stand straight for me to put the carriage to. He knows once he's tacked I ask him to move round and stand in front of the carriage shafts. The little sod wouldn't step over, then when he did he stepped to far, then I asked him to step back and he stepped back to original position. Then back to far the other way. In the end he got my stern voice which he knows is the voice before he gets the wallop.
Some years ago when I was going through a stressful time in my life I had a very short fuse and because I had no one to talk to about my problems. The animals use to get my stress taken out on them. Fortunately now I am better at controlling my anger. Whilst it's not ideal if I yell at them, it's far better than me hitting them. My language leaves a lot to be desired though. A few have commented on my language choice.
 
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