No confidence on ground

[michelle18]

Looking for some advice.

I have been riding for around 2 and a half years with my sister at a riding school. (Twice a week). We are now hoping to loan/buy our own horse the only problem is I have no confidence at all on the ground with the horses. My sister had no fear and is full of confidence where as I'm standing in the corner terrified I'm going to be kicked. I have been doing a few lessons on the ground and a few own a pony days but I'm so on edge at every moment to the point I can be physically shaking. Some of the time because I'm so nervous the horse picks up on this and acts up which tends to escalate the problem. My instructor can insure me until the cows come home that the horse I'm working with will not kick and Im still so nervous. I can tell people get frustrated with me when I ask questions or am getting a bit anxious but I really can help it. I am constantly trying to push myself but I can't control these anxieties. I love horses and when im riding I feel great I have no issues when im in the saddle I tend to get a bit nervous if I feel the horse is going to act up but I think that's normal I have been bucked off and fell of numerous times and I'm still fine with riding however nothing terrible has happened to me on the ground and I still can't get over these fears. I don't know what else to do but the ground lessons are beginning to feel endless with no light at the end of the tunnel. I keep questioning if I should give up but regardless of how nervous I am horses do make me happy.

I have read thousands of books and watched as many horse shows and docs as I can find but still no help.

Does anyone else have any advise or been through this themselves and how did you overcome this?

Thanks

 

[tikkitti]

I grew up round horses/ponies and I still feel more vulnerable on the ground than onboard. Are you better with ponies than horses? With me its more youngsters I'm cautious of, but understandably so. Have you helped out before lessons at the RS? IMO its the case of the more you will do the more matter a fact it will be and hopefully it will become less of a issue. You may always prefer being in the saddle to being on the ground , many people feel that way but if you have a good ri she will have you do work on the ground with well mannered horses and like with riding your confidence will slowly build. Don't beat yourself up many at RS do more work in the saddle than on the ground, even if you work on the ground with a small pony and gradually built up to a horse.x

 

[Trewsers]

I remember still being nervy around J when we first got him. I tickled him rather than actually groomed him lol. I'd had three lessons a week for a year - and helped tack up and rug up etc but still felt nervous on the ground. However, it soon passed and the more time I spent around him the better it got. There were lots of fellow liveries around too, so it was great to watch them and learn. A good yard can go a long way to helping with your first horse.

 

[michelle18]

I grew up round horses/ponies and I still feel more vulnerable on the ground than onboard. Are you better with ponies than horses? With me its more youngsters I'm cautious of, but understandably so. Have you helped out before lessons at the RS? IMO its the case of the more you will do the more matter a fact it will be and hopefully it will become less of a issue. You may always prefer being in the saddle to being on the ground , many people feel that way but if you have a good ri she will have you do work on the ground with well mannered horses and like with riding your confidence will slowly build. Don't beat yourself up many at RS do more work in the saddle than on the ground, even if you work on the ground with a small pony and gradually built up to a horse.x

Thanks for the reply. I'm pretty much the same regardless of whether it's a horse or pony. I'm hoping like riding it will all come together and ill be fine. I think it's the unknown I'm more afraid of because I've never been kicked I don't know what to expect if it ever happens. One of the girls had told me that being kicked is enevatable so I think I'm just waiting for it to happen than putting it to the back if my mind. My confidence riding only came after my first fall which made me realise it's not that bad and it's not the end of the world to have a wee tumble so I don't know if maybe if I do get kicked rhat it would make me realise it's not as bad as I thought but everything I've read about being kicked has terrified me.

 

[michelle18]

I remember still being nervy around J when we first got him. I tickled him rather than actually groomed him lol. I'd had three lessons a week for a year - and helped tack up and rug up etc but still felt nervous on the ground. However, it soon passed and the more time I spent around him the better it got. There were lots of fellow liveries around too, so it was great to watch them and learn. A good yard can go a long way to helping with your first horse.

That's exactly me when im grooming I feel like I'm just kinda dusting the horse and every little movement they make has me shaking, it might just be a case of getting used to why he horse moves and if it should concern me or not.

There are loads of people around for me to ask but I think they are all getting a bit fed up with me asking questions so I try not to ask as much.

 

[Trewsers]

That's exactly me when im grooming I feel like I'm just kinda dusting the horse and every little movement they make has me shaking, it might just be a case of getting used to why he horse moves and if it should concern me or not.

There are loads of people around for me to ask but I think they are all getting a bit fed up with me asking questions so I try not to ask as much.

Aw, I am sure they don't mind your questions really. You'll soon become used to it - I look back and can't believe how I used to worry. The thoughts of walking J up the hill to turn him out used to worry me!lol. Try not to think too deeply about it and just gain as much "around horses time" as possible.

 

[orbvalley]

Hi michelle18, I used to feel just like you on the ground. I'd only ever ridden at Rs's and it wasnt until years later that i started helpingout at my rs that i learned how to be around them on the ground. My ri taught me how to get a horse to move away from me with hand gestures and body language. It was during that time that i stopped being nervous on the ground. For me one common fault in all the rs's i'd been to was they never taught me any of this, consequently i felt bullied on the groound by them. As tikkiti said helping out somewhere would i'm sure build your confidence.

eta: i've been around horses on and off for 30years, first time i got kicked was a few weeks ago and i was very suprised at how little it hurt

 

[joosie]

Someone told you that being kicked is "inevitable"?? Crikey, what a great confidence booster To be quite honest I don't actually think it's particularly likely, and certainly not "inevitable", particularly since you're dealing with riding school horses as I doubt they would let clients handle horses known for kicking. I've worked with horses full-time for 10 years and been kicked twice, and one of those wasn't even intentional.

I'm sure things will improve the more practice and experience you get. Everyone talks about how learning to ride is an ongoing process, but they don't tell you that learning to be around horses is just as much of a journey!

 

[michelle18]

Thanks for all your replies. They've really helped a lot I had no idea so many people started out nervous aswell. I was begining to think it was maybe something you either have or you haven't. I have tried volunteering at my local RDA but you are left on your own quite a lot and I don't feel fully comfortable with that yet. I like someone nearby just incase the horse gets too much, there is only 1 horse in the school that is a known kicker who belongs to my ri. But the stable hands usually help out with her on the ground and needles to say she's not the one I would usually work with. I might ask if I can help out in he school through the week when it's a little quieter with on if the sh's. The rs is really busy so a lot of the time the horses were used in the previous lesson so they don't need tacked we occasionally get the chance to unpack which was why I opted to change my second lesson to a ground one but because me and my sister do it together I feel I might be holding hee back a bit. So maybe helpping out might be better than the lessons as I know how to do everything I'm just nervous ding it. I've even considered hypnotherapy treatment cause I do think a lot if it is in my head lol. X

 

[orbvalley]

Its only natural to be scared of big animals, its in our instinct. The longer youre around them though the smaller they seem to get
my rs experiences were same as you - horse handed to me tacked up, i handed it back after☹. I think this is what causes the problem .

 

[tikkitti]

I'm 36 and my mum always had horses before I got my first pony, anyway from what I remember Ive been kicked 4 times that I can remember, twice as a teenager putting my self in a position I wouldn't be daft enough to do nowadays, another was clipping a horse and the 4th was from our little 11.2hh rescue pony having her feet trimmed as she was nervous and tbh was more my fault than hers. The more your around horses the more confident you will become and you will read their body language, tbh to put it into context Ive known more injures happen in the saddle than on the ground, and you will find given time you will be fine.x

 

[Kite_Rider]

Have to say I'm a bit shocked too that you have been told getting kicked is inevitable. I have been kicked once when I was a child and like tikkitti it was because I put myself in a dangerous position, I can understand your fear though as orbvally said they are big and unpredictable animals.
Keep up with your groundwork lessons too as when you realise that you can move the horse around and keep it out of your own personal space your confidence will grow and the more it grows the more confident you will feel.
Like anything start with little achievable steps, something you know you are comfortable with, with a safe horse or pony and slowly try a little more each time, if you start to feel nervous go back to your comfort zone for a breather and go that bit further when you are calm again.

 

[squidsin]

I've never been kicked (touch wood)! And I've had my own horse for 2 years and ridden on and off for a long time. I never stand close behind a horse though, and am careful turning out to keep out of hoof's reach! I was really nervous handling my horse at first too but you get used to it, and once you know your horse, you know roughly how they're likely to react to all sorts of things and you can adjust your own behaviour accordingly. Just take your time, don't push yourself, and enjoy your horsey time!

 

[Jane&Ziggy]

I've only every been kicked by an angry bargy unbroken filly, and I doubt you will need to be near any horses like her! With my boys I can crawm around all over them and underneath them and feel safe as houses.

If things don't improve and you feel as if you are practically phobic, you could try some NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) therapy. Several people on here have used it for confidence and other issues with success.

 

[tikkitti]

I've only every been kicked by an angry bargy unbroken filly, and I doubt you will need to be near any horses like her! With my boys I can crawm around all over them and underneath them and feel safe as houses.

If things don't improve and you feel as if you are practically phobic, you could try some NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) therapy. Several people on here have used it for confidence and other issues with success.[/ QUOTE]
I totally agree the horses and ponies Ive been kicked by aren't the type I'd expect aRS to have clients work with or the type you'd buy as a first horse,I think the person who told you its inevitable has made it into a much bigger thing in your head than it needs to be, I'd love to know how many times they've been kicked and why, the inevitable sounds like its weekly event

 

[Skib]

I too was frightened of horses feet and being kicked because had been warned so strongly about the danger as a child.
One of the first things I did was pay for a lesson on how to groom and pick up a horse's feet. I did that at a normal BHS riding school, and suggest you might do the same. Then after you have had a couple of supervised lessons, make sure you practise it by asking if the school have a horse you can groom from time to time. I always start grooming by picking up the feet - even if I dont much like doing that, it does put you in control.

You say you have had lessons in leading and so on - what type of lessons were they and what were you able to do? Over the years I have paid for a great many lessons on the ground, ranging from a BHS Stage 1 stable management course which includes tacking up to more sophisticated Natural Horsemanship leading in traffic and taking a horse out to graze in hand. First you need to be shown how and then you need lots of practice doing it yourself.

 

[Mary Poppins]

You have to learn how to treat horses on the ground, just as you do ridden. I am very safety conscious and have never been kicked or bitten. If you take precautions you make yourself as safe as you can be. Some of my tips are:

Always wear a hat when catching in and out of the field, and around any horse you feel nervous of. It will give you more confidence and protect you if the worse happens.

Always turn a horse to face you when taking the headcollar off in the stable or in the field. That way your back is to the gate or the door and you have no risk of getting trapped.

If you are leading a horse and it starts to play up, give it something to think about. Either walk a circle or get the horse moving it's legs. If you can control where the horse puts it's legs, you are in charge.

Don't be tempted to hold on too tightly when leading, the horse needs space to move his neck, just when riding.

Always groom/tack up/ pick out feet etc. out of the stable. This gives you more room and you can move out of the way more easily.

Never walk round the back of a horse - always the front and duck under his neck.

I could go on and on. The point is that you need to learn these things and if you have little experience on the ground then you can't be expected to magically know them. Don't be worried about asking questions - how will you know if you don't ask.

 

[eml]

We run a BEF 'Hoof' group for adults, a bit like pony club for kids where people learn to catch horse, groom , tack up and untack as well as ride. It is a social thing as well with coffee and cakes, Handing makes you a better rider as you learn to understand horses.

 

[eml]

We run a BEF 'Hoof' group for adults, a bit like pony club for kids where people learn to catch horse, groom , tack up and untack as well as ride. It is a social thing as well with coffee and cakes, Handing makes you a better rider as you learn to understand horses.

 

[hormonalmare]

Of course it isn't 'inevitable' that you'll be kicked at some point! What an awful thing to say!
That's like saying it's 'inevitable' that you will get bitten if you keep a dog as a pet!
But I used to be really scared around horses too, and I found that the more time you spend with them and understand how they react, the more your confidence grows. You have to break through the fear barrier though - you won't just wake up one morning and find it gone.
If you get your own horse it'll become part of the family, and you wouldn't expect a family member to just turn around and wallop you for no reason, would you? (I'm assuming not..)