Men!!!

T

Thyme & Me

New Member
Nov 23, 2011
1,427
0
0
So my friend's husband has just walked out on her and her 2 young children. She is heavily pregnant (planned pregnancy). There was no discussion, no communication. She had no inkling there was anything wrong at all. He has shacked up with a 20 year old Uni student.....

Sure I can see that a pert, footloose girl is more attractive at times than the pressures of 2 young kids and a knackered wife with morning sickness, but that is what being a GROWN UP is about.

I wonder how long the romance will last once it has changed from an illicit affaire, to a domestic arrangement complete with 3 regular pint-sized weekend visitors...

Stupid man :furious:

He'll wake up one day and realised what a precious thing he has just chucked away.
 
how could he? i am sure women would love to walk away at times but usually they have to be responsible. And while she is pregnant.

Actually she is better off without him if that's what he's like.
 
What a pathetic man.

But who would want a man who had done something like that - not me, because he will do it again.

Poor friend. Hope she is OK. There are a lot better men out there.
 
What a toss pot. I really feel for your poor friend, having 2 young children is enough for anyone, but with a third on its way, poor lady. I hope she has close friends and family to help her through.

He will have to live with this - hopefully his new 'relationship' falls flat on its face and he realises what he has done.
 
He was obviously very flattered by this girl, and with 2 kids and one on the way who can blame him, anyone would.. but to actually act on it is crazy and I am sure he will wake up one morning or his new girlfriend will be wanting to party a little too often and he will think.. I am too old for this, what the hell have I done to the life I created...and it will be too late...

I hope your friend is strong and knows she will get through it
 
Agree with sjp1 anyone who goes off with a man who leaves his wife & children for them is pretty stupid,if he's done it once he'll keep doing it !
 
My dad did a similar thing and has recently been saying what a stupid mistake he made and he wishes he could have changed back time. He is now due to be married to a completely different lady who is of the same age as him and is very happy but now realises what he lost. My mum wasn't pregnant but was when he started the affair, didnt leave until my mum found out about the affair after about 5 years and kicked him out.
 
The planned pregnancy was maybe done in the misguided thought that another child would help an already rocky marriage????? I know a lot of folk seem to think kids will make a bond stronger.

IME a child is something that tests the bond between husband and wife, not make it stronger.
It's very sad, but as they say, we don't know what goes on behind closed doors.
 
I don't think unhappy people should stay together 'for the children', but nor should someone chuck in a marriage when children are involved without making some effort to resolve the problems. The first 'I'm not happy' conversation should NOT be the one at which you announce you are off....

She may be glossing over all that, but we have seen them together socially loads of times, and they seemed fine. Happy, excited about the baby, making plans for next year etc. She says he was no different at home and this came completely from left field.
 
Wally said:
The planned pregnancy was maybe done in the misguided thought that another child would help an already rocky marriage????? I know a lot of folk seem to think kids will make a bond stronger.

IME a child is something that tests the bond between husband and wife, not make it stronger.
It's very sad, but as they say, we don't know what goes on behind closed doors.
Click to expand...

That's true.

Not sure how it is with child support in the UK but he'd be as poor as a church mouse here. Three little ones to pay for and all of them so young so he's got a nice big 18 years of living of off beans and rice ahead of him.
Not many 20 year olds fancy that...
 
No, and not many 20 year olds want a boyfriend with 3 young kids. Up till now, it's all been illicit sex, meals out and romantic dreams. Now it will become hoovering, arguing about whose turn it is to clean the toilet and lots of weekends towing 3 small kids around the place..... I give it less than a year. Unless he cuts ties with his family altogether, which would make in even more of a worm...
 
Thyme & Me said:
I don't think unhappy people should stay together 'for the children', but nor should someone chuck in a marriage when children are involved without making some effort to resolve the problems. The first 'I'm not happy' conversation should NOT be the one at which you announce you are off....
Click to expand...

Very true
 
While I won't pass judgement on the guy not wanting to be with this lady anymore (who knows what goes on behind closed doors) I do think its very sad for the children and whether of her own doing or otherwise, how overwhelming to be suddenly single with two children and another on the way.
I hope they can all come to a mature agreement on support for the kids, and I hope if any party deserves a bit of karma, they get it bucket loads.
 
I have a very dim view of men right now. They are immature, ignorant and utterly selfish at times. I really, really feel for your poor friend :( what a horrid situation to be left in.

Sadly my recent experiences have only served to prove that 99% of the men i have met want a trophy girlfriend. Something anorexic, blonde, boobs pumped up to under their chins and with zero brain capacity so they can't argue back. But they soon get bored with that. My ex always says it's his biggest regret f***ing up our relationship but it's too late now!!
 
We maybe shouldnt rush to judge on the face of it you are correct it was a dreadful act, but you never know what happens in any relationship when the door is closed. You can only hope that he takes his responsibility to his children seriously and provides for them. In defence of men we are not all ruled from the waist down but i would be a liar if i hadnt thought about legging it sometimes when we were only married a few years with young children, no money, bills mounting, working 10 hours a day 7 days a week. It was tough then and its tough now. In the end it comes down to character on both sides to make a marriage work. For all you younger married couples work at it as it does get better and when you get to my years you find out that the effort was really worth while and probably the best thing you will ever do in your life.
 
I feel bad for the children and hope this man doesn't forget his responsibility to them.

Also, being in a relationship with an older man, I kinda resent some of the comments made here that seem to insinuate such relationships don't last long, 'trophy girlfriends' etc. I have to put up with those sort of judgements a hell of a lot - mostly from older women I hasten to add.
 
newrider.com
Top Bottom
Back