Horses and babies just do not mix!!

Mary Poppins

Mary Poppins

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Oct 10, 2004
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Some of you may remember my threads a few months ago when I was planning how to fit in horses when my baby was born. I was seriously planning to buy my first pony in the summer and ride about 4 times a week - and I really did think that it would be possible. Before I became pregnant I was completely obsessed with my 2 loan horses spending 3 hours every evening and most of the weekends with them.

So, my lovely baby is now 4 months old and what I have I done? Well I haven't even sat on a horse since I have had him. I have handed my 2 loan horses back and although I do go to the yard to brush them once a week I have no immediate plans to ride. The reason isn't really to do with money or time (although I don't have much of either). I simply want to spend as much time as possible with my little boy. I would never have believed that the bond we have would be strong enough to keep me away from the yard. One of my loan horses in particular means so much to me and I do miss her, but at the end of the day she doesn't need me like my baby does and is happy enough munching grass in the field with her friends.

I may have a few lessons in the next few months and next year I can see myself returning to becoming a weekly rider, but for the time being my plans to buy a pony are on hold. I am sure that my obsession with horses will return (I hope it does) but for now I am just going to enjoy being a mummy.

So many people have been so kind with their PMs asking how I am getting on and I am really grateful for your support and kind words. I know that I will be a nervous wreak when I do finally get on so I will be seeking out your support again for that as well!
 
I can totally relate to your post.

Wanting to spend all your time with your familly is only natural to some. I only started up regular taking me time again when my daughter was at pre-school.

I could have done something at the weekends but as my hubby and all my familly worked I was was precious about getting in all the familly and extended familly time I could.

I'm glad you are happy and have found what works for you. I'm sure that things will cxhange for you as your baby grows but in the meantime enjoy all the time you can with them. I can't believe my 'baby' is nearly 5 :eek:
 
Your horse looks very similar to my loan horse! It is nice to hear from other people in a similar situation. Now that my little boy is slightly older we are spending lots of weekends away visiting extended family and friends as I want everyone to see him when he is still little. I figure that time will pass so quickly and before I know it he will be wanting to spend all weekend with his friend instead of me. I will have plenty of time for my pony then!
 
Well congratulations on your baby son! No-one can possibly understand mother-love until they have given birth themselves. If he is the centre of your universe at the mo, it just shows what a fabby mum you are... this is just how you are programmed to be :D Enjoy him while you can - my son is 21 in September and those years have passed in the blink of an eye....... :rolleyes:
 
There are many of us on NR who have been in the same positin as you Mary Poppins. I am so glad you continue to post.
I wish you a happy future with horses, eventually, even though it may be decades ahead of you, as it was with me and my OH. There is no hurry and you are right to enjoy your son. You deserve him.
Though I hope you have some small things you can do for your own pleasure too? Like read and post on NR?
 
So glad its going well for you
As I said to a firend of mine who gave up to have a baby, and is now a proud mother..bring him with you, you can leave him in a stable...after all if it was good enough for baby jesus..!!
You will come back when you are ready and its right. In the meantime enjoy your little one :) :) :)
 
many congratulations on the little one, MP! My daughter is four now, and is learning to ride. She is just big enough now for me to think about doing stuff for myself again - like you, when she was born, I didn't really want to do anything except spend time with her (though I didn't have my own or loan horses to worry about).

They are only babies once. Its really amazing spending time with your children, and the horses will always be there when you are ready to come back.
 
I admire your dedication to your child. I myself was a grumpy sod until allowed to get back on a horse, and need regular fixes to keep sane!
I kept telling myself not to be selfish and that it was ajust a short period of my life, but had to get back in the saddle (and then bought a horse).

it is very difficult to fit everything in now, I admit, and I do feel guilty for juggling sometimes.
 
I can totally relate to what you're saying. I got my first horse when my youngest was just 3 - for a long time i got totally stressed out at the yard, trying to do everything as efficiently as possible cos i felt so guilty about the amount of time it was taking up. Just as he turned 5 and went to school, and spends hours after school playing out with his brother and his friend i go and break my back falling off! So here i am with more spare time than i ever wanted. Such is life! Grab every opportunity you can and enjoy xx
 
Four months is still so early!
For me the first 3 months were just a blur anyway. You are just now coming out of the woods.
We keep our horses at home so it has been easy staying close to them and my son was always part of it so I never had to choose between time with my baby or time with my horse. I've been riding a bit here and there but only in the last few months did I get really serious about it again.
He eats some solids now and doesn't need to be nursed so frequently so he can stay with Daddy while I focus on my riding. My baby just turned one.

And you know what? Just recently I thought: Wow! I am still me! My in-laws were saying once baby arrived the horses would be an old hat. But I am back to enjoying them with all my heart. I don't have to make a choice. I can be a super always available mommy and a dedicated horse person.
It just took some time for us. Longer than 4 months that's for sure.
And having to travel to get to a yard makes it probably more difficult than putting on boots, sticking the baby in a back carrier and going out to see the horses...
 
It's really interesting to hear about other peoples experiences. I personally don't know anyone who has a baby and still rides regularly - I guess other people feel the same as I do. I have just found out that a local riding school (not my normal place) does evening lessons until 9pm in the evening. I might therefore be able to ride once my little boy is sleeping.

Thanks again everyone for your support - I love NR as I can 'talk' about horses during the day and not just babies.
 
Lucy J said:
i must be a really bad mummy then as I couldn't wait to get back on my horse! my son got way used to sleeping in his pram by the side of the school! :eek:
Click to expand...

Glad I'm not the only one was beginning to think I was the worlds worst new mummy, I adore my little girl but I also adore my other 'little' girls aka the horses and my world revolves around all of them. Luckily mine are at home so she can come with me to groom and feed etc as it's only a few feet away but I am yet to get in the saddle again. The few weeks when everyone else was looking after the horses and my only peek at them was a glimpse through the window were hard although I could'nt occupy my mind with anything other than my daughter. I couldn't bare a day without spending time with all of my children, human or otherwise. I'm totally exhausted, and feel like I never stop but a day without any of them is a day I'd rather be without.
 
Cleaning and scrubbing can wait 'til tomorrow
For babies grow up, we've learned to our sorrow
So quiet down cobwebs, dust go to sleep
I'm rocking my baby, and babies don't keep.

My littlest baby is now 15 years old, youngest of three, and I guess the novelty did wear off somewhere, though I can't remember where!

I stopped riding when expecting no 1, and didn't start again until no 2 was a year old. The first was easy in every way, the second less so, and when he was a year old I HAD to spend time around horses to keep myself sane. I started a job one evening each week, which paid for a riding lesson a week, and after a few months saw an ad in the local paper from a lady I knew, looking for a sharer for her lovely old horse. He was just what I needed! The first child was at nursery school 3 mornings a week, the little one was awake most of the night but zonked out from 9am to 1pm without fail. I'd drop the eldest at nursery, go straight to the yard, littl'un would be sound out, I'd park him in the (quiet!) office, where the owner was happy to watch him whilst reading the paper, doing her books, etc, and I'd escape on the horse for a couple of hours. The head girl had also had a baby recently, who was left with her mother each morning, so there was much baby talk - but my boy never, ever woke during those mornings. It worked for several months, we eventually moved away, had baby no 3, and when she started nursery herself I met another mum who helped exercise at a private event yard that had another horse coming, so I joined her, later shared one of the liveries, and by the time he was sold we had a pony for my eldest that could just about carry me!

Hang in there, the time will come, but do treasure every second with your baby - and take millions of photos! He'll be independent all too soon!
 
yes, hope you recover soon Bazzie..

I now feel REALLY BAD. I have a pony and i also have four children aged 8yrs, 5yrs, 23months and 10 months but i need my pony. it has been hard recently to juggle everything but i am trying to learn i';m NOT being selfish by wanting a escape for myself. I love being with my children but i also need to be my own person like i am when i ride. My eldest and my second youngest also ride which helps but not as much as the fact my pony is kept a 15 min walk from my house! I didn't buy my pony until my last child was 7 months although to be honest i didn't stop breast feeding her until nearly 7 months so i couldn't have left her until then anyway.
 
I didn't mean to imply that anyone is a bad mother if they are able to both ride and enjoy their babies and I am sorry if I have offended anyone. I have just found that my expectations of life with a baby are different from reality. I like to plan life as far as possible and the arrival of my son has changed my life in ways that I didn't expect. Looking to the future I am not sure that I want him to be involved in horses at all which will make it more difficult for me. I am already the worlds most nervous rider and I would constantly worry about my son riding - especially as he is bound to have no fear and would be riding faster and jumping higher than me before he is 5!
 
Mary Poppins, I totally relate to what you're saying. Palamino, that verse is so true, children grow so quickly and the time with them is precious.My six are all grown up now with children of their own.. 25 years gone in the blink of an eyelid. I remember thinking when they were ill, that switching the oven off and leaving the housework to sit with them was something I'd never regret in years to come.
All the time and love I gave to them, they now return 100 fold...my son left work the other afternoon and bought his apprentice to sort out a problem in my house when I called him.
Your son will quickly change and soon your evenings will be free, so you can find time to do whatever you have the energy for !
Some people manage to keep horses with babies and I admire that too,though how sad when much loved horses are left in fields, rushed and neglected, but equally, my former YO managed to do both wonderfully, with the support of grandparents and a baby sitting sheepdog (amazing animal !)
 
I was just thinking of the things that DO make it possible for me to enjoy my baby and my horses and here's my list:

1) my super fantastic OH who supports me tremendously both with horses as well as baby. (It sounds like quite a few moms on here are raising their children by themselves. I can only imagine what a struggle that must be. :()

2) having the horses at home (If I had to drive to see them I bet I would see them not nearly as often as now that I take care of them morning and evening and have them grazing in the front yard during the day!)

3) my super neat baby carriers! I find them to be much safer than a stroller (push chair for you UK folks ;) ) because he is always near me. The horses respect him as an extension of myself.
When he was tiny I had him in a sling. The sling supports his back so even if he can't sit up yet by himself on the floor, he can do so cradled in a sling.
Here he is about 4 1/2 months old (just about the same age as MP's boy):
4months.jpg


Of course the sling is no good for chores but would be great for visiting the horses.

For actual chores I recommend a structured carrier like an Ergo. You can carry baby in front or in the back. Now that he's bigger I like him in the back. Leaves the hands free for carrying hay or shoveling manure. If you carry him in front you could even discretely nurse while you feed the horses!
I took this picture just now after we got back from feeding this evening. It was kind of warm and he passed out so I am more hunched over than normal (to keep him asleep). He is 12 months old in this one.
asleep2.jpg


You can get info on the different carrier types here: www.thebabywearer.com

But that's only if you *want* to be around horses. Since you don't own one, you have no obligations. Babies and horses mix if you want to. But if you don't, that's okay too. ;)
 
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