Hi there!
I have rewritten this introduction at least twenty times now, and I am still sitting here trying not to erase the whole thing and start over again. I have always been better with animals than people, and coming back into the horse world after seventeen years feels a little... awkward, honestly.
I grew up riding. I started when I was six and rode until I was eighteen. I was lucky enough to have some really wonderful people around me who believed in me and gave me the chance to try almost every discipline at least once. I showed my own horses, showed other people’s horses, worked at a stable exercising horses, and did chores to help pay for my board. Because of that, I ended up working with quite a few different breeds, but Appaloosas were always my thing.
That mostly started with Montana. She was a gorgeous red varnish Appaloosa mare who took a shining to me when I was a kid and became my entire world. She was, and always will be, my heart horse. After I lost her, I tried to find her in every horse I rode or owned afterward, and of course I never could. Somewhere in that, horses stopped feeling the same. Then life got complicated, I had to sell the project horses I still had, and the years just kept passing. The longer I stayed away, the more shame and guilt got mixed into the thought of coming back.
And now, somehow, I have two geldings in my pasture.
Dozer is a six-year-old buckskin pinto crossbreed a friend (not his horse, he just found the seller) had me buy as a sound, reliable trail horse. Once he got here, though, it became pretty clear he was nowhere near as trained or comfortable as we had been told. He struggled just being saddled, and when a friend tried to mount him, Dozer sent him flying and caught him in the ribs while he was still in the air, breaking three of them. I do not think that makes Dozer a bad horse. He came here heavily scarred, guarded, jumpy, and with a whole lot of questions about what may have happened before he got to us. So riding is off the table for now. I am taking him back to the beginning and trying to give him the time to figure out that people do not always mean something bad is about to happen.
Then came Varric. I picked him out myself and drove to Oklahoma to bring him home. He is a four-year-old Appaloosa and, somehow, he made getting back into horses feel right again. He is laid-back, sensible, solid under saddle, good with kids, and so far has been easy about nearly everything I have asked of him. As silly as it may sound, part of me feels like he was Montana’s way of telling me it was okay to stop looking for her in every horse. That it was okay to finally let another horse be himself, and to let myself start again.
Outside of horses, I run a small homestead in southwest Missouri. Most of that involves a ridiculous number of chickens and a peacock who will probably end up wandering through the background of half my pictures. It is not really why I am here, it is just part of everyday life around here.
I am not trying to come back to the performance world. I really just want to trail ride, enjoy the horses I have, and find some people who understand that horses can mean everything without everything having to turn into a competition.
Anyways... hi!
I have rewritten this introduction at least twenty times now, and I am still sitting here trying not to erase the whole thing and start over again. I have always been better with animals than people, and coming back into the horse world after seventeen years feels a little... awkward, honestly.
I grew up riding. I started when I was six and rode until I was eighteen. I was lucky enough to have some really wonderful people around me who believed in me and gave me the chance to try almost every discipline at least once. I showed my own horses, showed other people’s horses, worked at a stable exercising horses, and did chores to help pay for my board. Because of that, I ended up working with quite a few different breeds, but Appaloosas were always my thing.
That mostly started with Montana. She was a gorgeous red varnish Appaloosa mare who took a shining to me when I was a kid and became my entire world. She was, and always will be, my heart horse. After I lost her, I tried to find her in every horse I rode or owned afterward, and of course I never could. Somewhere in that, horses stopped feeling the same. Then life got complicated, I had to sell the project horses I still had, and the years just kept passing. The longer I stayed away, the more shame and guilt got mixed into the thought of coming back.
And now, somehow, I have two geldings in my pasture.
Dozer is a six-year-old buckskin pinto crossbreed a friend (not his horse, he just found the seller) had me buy as a sound, reliable trail horse. Once he got here, though, it became pretty clear he was nowhere near as trained or comfortable as we had been told. He struggled just being saddled, and when a friend tried to mount him, Dozer sent him flying and caught him in the ribs while he was still in the air, breaking three of them. I do not think that makes Dozer a bad horse. He came here heavily scarred, guarded, jumpy, and with a whole lot of questions about what may have happened before he got to us. So riding is off the table for now. I am taking him back to the beginning and trying to give him the time to figure out that people do not always mean something bad is about to happen.
Then came Varric. I picked him out myself and drove to Oklahoma to bring him home. He is a four-year-old Appaloosa and, somehow, he made getting back into horses feel right again. He is laid-back, sensible, solid under saddle, good with kids, and so far has been easy about nearly everything I have asked of him. As silly as it may sound, part of me feels like he was Montana’s way of telling me it was okay to stop looking for her in every horse. That it was okay to finally let another horse be himself, and to let myself start again.
Outside of horses, I run a small homestead in southwest Missouri. Most of that involves a ridiculous number of chickens and a peacock who will probably end up wandering through the background of half my pictures. It is not really why I am here, it is just part of everyday life around here.
I am not trying to come back to the performance world. I really just want to trail ride, enjoy the horses I have, and find some people who understand that horses can mean everything without everything having to turn into a competition.
Anyways... hi!
It sounds like Dozer has landed just where he needs to be, and what a pretty boy he is. And it’s lovely that Varric has fitted in so perfectly and bringing you so much while Dozer needs more time 
I look forward to following your story.
I look forward to lurking around, and sharing more on Dozer and Varric!