Definitely lost my confidence for now..

Trewsers

Trewsers

Well-Known Member
Oct 13, 2004
56,666
18,046
113
54
On an island
HI there, well, I had a fall a couple of weeks ago which knocked my confidence (nothing broken just bloomin sore!!!). Anyway, I didn't realise just how much it had affected me until my lesson the other day. I was rubbish - I was on a nice steady neddy - a school horse cob and I just sat rigid. It was pathetic - I was ashamed of myself really, I felt like I did when I'd only been learning a couple of weeks!!! I refused to canter and just walked around and half heartedly trotted -whats wrong with me??? :( I just kept on thinking that the horse would start cantering and not stop if I gave him any encouragement (which is nonsense, cos he's really laid back and placid). I feel such a fool, I really really want to get back to where I was - which was confident in walk, trot and just about getting there with cantering. Do you think its cos I'm older? (am 35) - all the kids and younger folk at the yard don't seem to let it bother them when they come off. Sorry for the long post - any ideas folks?? Any views welcome!
 
No ideas, I'm afraid, but just wanted to offer my wholehearted understanding of what you are currently going through. Fell off myself a few months back - off a pony I had just bought, and ended up in hospital. Pony went back, but have now bought a new pony and am finding it all a bit much! I am well over 40 and I think it has got quite a lot to do with age. I dont recall being frightened of riding anything when I was a teenager! I think my problem is that I have an overactive imagination and think ahead of all the dreadful things that might happen to me.... Need to think more positive and not overstretch yourself - take one step at a time and always remember, this is a hobby and you are supposed to be enjoying yourself!!!
 
You're right!

Thanks Denise, you're right, it is supposed to be a hobby and I am supposed to enjoy it!!! Think my over active imagination is doing its bit - I keep looking for pitfalls! I'm going to ask for some lessons on the lunge - hopefully this will help restore my confidence a bit. :)
 
Hi

I just wanted to say I kind of understand where you're coming from. I had no fear at all when I last road at about 14 years old; falling off was a regular thing back then :mad: :D

I had my first lesson recently at the age of 34 and I can say for sure you're not the only one with an overactive imagination! I was actually quite frightened to begin with, it took me a while to relax.

I have a 2 1/2 year old son and he comes first. I gave up motor racing & motorbikes as soon as I knew I was pregnant and I have only been back on a bike once & certainly wouldn't even think about race cars again. I just worry too much about what might happen, strangly I decided horse riding was the next best thing (obviously not quite the 100 + mph as a bike or race car :D ) but still a huge thrill.

Having said all that, I do find myself look at the body protectors in every horsey mag that I've got in the last week :rolleyes:

It must be an age thing or perhaps it's a responsibility thing. Hang in there though; confidence is a strange creature and doesn't like being rushed! :D

Hope your sore bits are better now :)

Take care

Justie x
 
Just take it in your own time, Trewsers. You're not up against any sort of deadline. Stick to walk and trot for now, or whatever you're comfortable with. Give it a few weeks, even. But before you know it, you'll get that urge to canter again - you'll *know* that the time is right - and you will.

I had a similar sort of scare/confidence issue a few months ago, and for the following two or three weeks I stuck to walk and trot, refused to canter, even though I was on a laid-back old schoolmistress who seldom puts a hoof wrong. I spent a lot of time working on my balance and position, which helped me deal with my fears.
confidence is a strange creature and doesn't like being rushed!
Click to expand...
Justie B52 - that is so true!
 
Like you I had a fall just over a week ago now. I didn't do any serious damage just a torn ligament in my shoulder, but my confidence also took a bit of a dive. I am lucky in that I have 2 horses of my own and although riding was impossible for me due to the injury at first I did get back in the saddle as soon as I could.The first time all I did was go for a walk around a field and at the end had a gentle trot and all the fear of falling off again was definitely at the front of my mind. The next time I went for a gentle hack and really enjoyed myself although I only walked. The next time I decided that I needed to get my act together and went into the school with a couple of younger kids who had all the confidence in the world. Not wanting to look silly I found myself cantering around the school with them and even popped a small jump at the end. My confidence is still fragile and my shoulder is still painful but I have horses and ride because I want to and the way I see it at our age its normal to be more aware of what may happen as we do have kids/careers to think about, but riding is my release from life and I do enjoy it so therefore I try to look at my doubts by saying things like I could fall off BUT I know that I can ride and my seat is secure enough not to so feeling like this is silly. That way I always follow a negative thought by a positive one and that makes me feel better.
 
Thanks again everybody

Thanks again everyone for your replies - am having another lesson today - prob on the lunge. That way I'll not have to worry too much about control, just work on improving my seat and balance. Its really good to hear your views - you've all made me feel less foolish about feeling this way :D Its also nice to know I'm not the only one that has confidence issues from time to time!!!
 
Trewers enjoy your lesson today and relax, i know easier said than done :)

My horse has just arrived and he dragged me as I attempted to lead him to his new paddock, and I have to admit that I lost a bit of confidence and was on the phone to OH (who is in milan so no shoulder to cry on) saying that I could not handle him and what have i done spending sooo much money on him etc. However two weeks on we are getting on well together (yet to ride him as he needs to restart undersaddle) and my confidence has bounced back :)

I know that it is not in the same league as losing confidence when riding but I am sure when the time comes for me to get on his back my confidence will disapear :rolleyes: and I will be posting here saying help confidence has gone too :)
 
Trewsers said:
Thanks again everyone for your replies - am having another lesson today - prob on the lunge. That way I'll not have to worry too much about control, just work on improving my seat and balance. Its really good to hear your views - you've all made me feel less foolish about feeling this way :D Its also nice to know I'm not the only one that has confidence issues from time to time!!!
Click to expand...

I think that taking the lunge lesson will really help a lot...good luck!
 
Good lesson!

Hi everyone - I had a brilliant lesson on Saturday!!! My confidence isn't entirely restored (this will take some time me thinks :) ) - but the lesson went well, just did walk and trot but my teacher helped me a lot and for once I was able to listen properly without worrying about controls / brakes if you know what I mean!!! The lunge is definitely a good thing for me at the moment. I'll keep you posted - but thanks again everyone for your support. Pengapenga - hope you're getting on ok with Frits - must have been upsetting specially being on your own (you said hubby was away). Good thing is you can always post on here - not the same as shoulder to cry on but at least we can send sympathy!!! :D
 
Congrats on the lesson Trewsers! - Like you I have had my confidence knocked pretty badly lately, last week so badly that I seriously considered giving up riding (the last time I gave up I didn't start again for 30 years :eek: )

So thanks to your post I have decided not to cancel my lesson on Sunday. Instead I'm going to ask for the steadiest horse on the yard, strap up my sprained ankle and go for the lesson. I might only walk or even ask to be lead, but I least I can say I got back on!
 
Jinete789 - good luck with the lesson on Sunday - don't give up! Its awful when you feel so unconfident, but honestly, am SURE you can do it!!! You'll be fine, just do like I'm doing - taking it really really slowly - as my other half points out often, its not a race and there's no shame in going a bit slower :D
Enjoy!
 
Trewsers I know if I don't make myself go through with this lesson then I will just keep making excuses not to ride, so thanks for your "push" and your example - if you can do it, so can I :)

The problem is since getting seriously tanked off with last week I look a shambles on a horse - tense, curled up, foetal (sp). Which is exactly how I looked two years ago :(

Like you I just feel so b'~~dy frustrated with myself for lacking confidence :mad:

Jin
 
Jinette - I totally know how you feel!

My horse tanked off with me a while ago and my position become awful I was all hunched up and tense and hanging onto the reins to make sure I had 'contol'. I had a lesson with my trainer though and we did some wonderful excersises to work me through it - I feel so much better now! :)
 
Claude thanks for sharing that, it's good to know that other's have been there and worked through it.

As you say, it's as though in some irrational part of my brain I reckon that if my shoulders are hunched, with my elbows locked out and hands too far forward, then I'll be "ready" for when the horse decides to gallop off.

Even my OH, who is even more novicy than me (if that's possible) - said that following my last mishap I am riding like a "woodlouse in jods" - referring to those wee beasties who curl up in a ball if you hassle them.

Does conjure up an interesting picture though - might change my user name to "woodlouse" :D
 
Woodlouse in jods!

Love the description!!!! tee hee :D I know exactly what you mean about curling up - my teacher persuaded me that to stretch and be long with my legs (even though am a right short arse!) is the best way to go. AFter a while this "new" improved position started to feel better. You'll be fine - I'll be having a lesson on Sunday too - I'll think about you Jinete789 - we can send good luck vibes to each other :D My other half is very understanding, he's only been learning as long as me, but has progressed quicker (everybody has different speeds / levels of learning). He knows what I'm going through and I'm lucky that he keeps egging me on!! He's blessed with long legs, so I think he's finding it easier to balance (thats my excuse anyhow :D :p ). Seriously, don't worry if all you do is walk and not even trot - just get used to the feel of being up there again. You'll be fine!
 
newrider.com
Top Bottom
Back