Continuing lessons.......different horse today.....freaked me out.

LyndaB

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Jul 1, 2017
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Hello: I am continuing the lessons and doing ok, today I had a different horse, a little smaller than Buddy and quite faster. The lesson started well with walking into the open arena. Then we started trotting around the arena, going in lines straight and diagonal. So far so good. Then the instructor (have had three different instructors) decides to take us one by one to see if we can canter - well I just couldn't get it, felt too fast and I felt like I was going to fall off. Instructor said hold onto the strap at front of saddle. I haven't cantered before apart from a few strides on Buddy - don't know how I did that.
Then we finished off by going over some small jumps - she said they were small but well.....we got over the single pole, felt a bit scary. Then the next jump was two poles crossed over - X not sure why but that freaked me out, and I think this was then transferred to the horse cos she got a little testy. Could that be right? We then just watched the next round, and I tried to soak up all that they were doing, and noticed I was shaking at end of this....haven't done that before.
I actually started thinking I am safer on the bigger horse - Buddy, even if he is a little slower to get going.
Is this instructor trying to push too hard? This is my seventh lesson. I just checked the website for next weeks lesson and I see they have put me back on Buddy.
Any words of wisdom for this returning old duck? Thanks.
 
Yes - When I was learning to ride I met adult beginners (mostly young men) who had been encouraged or forced to make rapid progress. And it had been put them off riding. And in particular it is canter that is the problem.
I had the opposite experience. I was bullied and ridiculed at my first school for thinking I could learn to ride at all.

It is really hard for an adult to put themselves into the student role and to do as they are told. But safety is always the priority and as an adult you have the right (I mean the legal right) to take responsibility for that and to make your own judgement of the risk. One can ask to be omitted when the rest of the class canter or jump.

One doesnt have to learn to jump - I dont jump. And learning to canter can also be taken slowly.
It seems like a massive issue at the time but in the long term, taking two years to get the basics is not a big deal. My OH who learned to ride aged 67 thinks anyone who spends a lesson a week on a horse will be able to ride walk trot and canter. And indeed he did. He was cantering easily after a year. He calls it saddle time.

But apart from safety when learning to ride, there is enjoyment. One cant learn anything when one is stressed and shaking and, yes, the horses surely can pick up the tension from us. It is your money and you should be enjoying riding lessons.

I dont know how your school is organised nor why you are already in a group that is cantering and jumping after only 7 lessons. Though you are right that one can learn from watching the other students.

Some RIs like to challenge riders to do more than they imagine they can do - and some people on NR really like being taught that way. Your RI possibly has the same intention.

But it isnt the only way to teach and to learn riding and I wonder whether you can negotiate a private lesson or two, especially when it comes to trying a new faster horse.

And if you find you cant enjoy riding with a particular teacher or at a particular school, it is worth looking around for an alternative.

As the years go by you will find some horses and some teachers who do make one seem to be a better rider than one thinks one is. But it doesnt have to be done by facing scarey challenges.
 
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Thank you @Skib that is very well said. I have had three instructors with this school, all have been very good. I think today this young instructor thought that I could do what the others could do on a new horse. Most of it I did manage to do. It just left me feeling doubtful of myself, should I be doing this, feeling stressed out.
I have booked private lessons as well as group, next week is a group lesson again, will see how it goes. Following that I have a private lesson or two. When I go there next week I will have a chat if its the same instructor, she was reassuring at end and throughout, she did also stay with me when I stopped Fanta and could not do the jumps.
There is one instructor there, slightly older than others, and must say her teaching has been wonderful, so encouraging. Will try and see if I can get more private lessons with her. Maybe even drop a lesson or two and go for a trail ride only one day. I wondered if I was pushing too hard.
Either way I am not giving up, have just brought new boots and booked a holiday with horse riding etc. I am going to put this down as a bad day, and a new beginning next week. Thank you for all your support.
 
Teaching is very personal & sometimes you just don't get on with someone's approach - it isn't a fault in either party, it's just one of those things. Likewise horses, there are some you feel better on than others & while it's useful to be able to ride different types this is maybe a skill to be developed later on because after 7 lessons you're still very much a beginner. Having said that you might have got on this horse & found you really liked a smaller type so it was worth a try.

I think the idea of trying to book a few lessons with the instructor you like most is a good idea, though it's a positive that you felt you could stop doing what you were unhappy with & the new instructor was supportive - maybe she thought you looked more capable than you felt? Personally I wouldn't want to introduce jumping until the rider was happy in canter for two reasons, one is that horses will often land in canter & canter away from a fence & the other is that jumping is easier from the canter than the trot.

I wouldn't call today a bad day, it just wasn't what you'd expected. You've still learned things & you've already got a new plan, how can that be all bad?

Enjoy yourself next week :)
 
Sorry to hear you didn't feel good cantering. I was asked to canter waaaay to early on in my lessons as an adult and it put me off somewhat and left me with a lasting phobia. I changed teachers and a different approach had it cracked - tho in my own time! If it's one thing learning as an adult I would change it would be to not be pushed into something I felt nervous and very uncomfortable about. Personally I would make known your fear / reluctance and then the teacher knows and can offer up a different approach. Good luck and don't be afraid to slow things down, there is no rush.
 
Thank you @carthorse and @Trewsers for your support. Yes this was the first lesson where I felt I was very much out of my league, and thought had crossed my mind maybe I shouldn't be doing this. I know I beat myself up about things, but there has to be highs and lows. I know what you mean Trewsers about being put off, that's how I feel at moment and know I shouldn't be.
Yes there is a plan for next week, I see that they have already put me on Buddy my first horse. I feel a bit more relieved seeing that, even if he is hard to get moving. I need to boost up my confidence again next week. One step at a time.
 
I think 7 lessons is rather soon to be asking you to jump, especially if you don't feel confident in canter and lots of horses, mine included turn into little pocket rockets if you pop a jump or two up.
Im glad they have you back on Buddy next lesson, Im sure you'll feel much more relaxed and as Trewsers said, make sure you don't feel rushed into anything you don't feel comfortable doing. As carthorse said, it isn't all bad as you have learned from it and I always think if you learn something from a lesson it's a good lesson, even if it is simply that you prefer a bigger horse :)
 
I've started and stopped riding several times in my fitful equestrian life: currently, I'm on my longest streak yet (almost two years, once a week) and am cantering with confidence. I used to have a massive block on canter: the only times I've fallen off have been transitioning down. Having said that, I remember my first canter with great joy. I always said I wouldn't jump, but joined in when the class had a jumping lesson - only tiny cross-poles, but I found them exhilarating. I still feel butterflies, and would worry if I didn't.

I don't quite know why it is on this attempt that I seem to have become a rider, of sorts (I still consider myself a novice and am happy to continue as such). I've had my share of excellent and terrible instruction in a variety of settings: the worst were probably nose-to-tail group lessons at university; the best were probably lunge lessons on the big grey I'm on in my avatar. I loved that horse, but only found out later that the yard could never put him in enough work, and were often wary of putting anyone on him. My first canter on him, off the lunge, was entirely unscheduled, and I was sure that I was coming off (I didn't). I now typically ride the same, steady old chap in group lessons and the odd private, usually with the same instructor, and have made more progress than ever before.

I'm not sure what to conclude from this: maybe I'm on the right horse at the right time of my life; maybe I've lucked out and found an instructor who knows how to teach me, and who I trust sufficiently to do as she tells me (which is essential, but requires confidence and tact on both sides); I also really like my fellow pupils, with whom we are on roughly the same level and have had similarly chequered histories of learning slowly, off and on. I tend to think it's all of these things in some combination: I therefore worry occasionally what would happen if one of the elements were to change. RIs move on: so do horses. One changes in oneself. The combination of factors is pretty fascinating.. but it does mean you have off weeks. I think if I felt like I wasn't progressing I'd be inclined to change one or more of the elements, but right now I have the combination I like. Everyone's experience is different, but equally everyone's experience is the same in that some do better at certain times, on certain horses, with certain instructors than others. Learning to ride is, to a large extent, about keeping faith in the process, and in one's own desire to ride. If you really want to ride, like it's necessary to your happiness (or seems as if it is), then one finds (or negotiates) a way. Not an easy thing, but so interesting, and fulfilling!
 
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I've done 10 months of riding and only just found my "brave-enough-to-jump" pants.

Firstly my balance wasn't good enough, my position wasn't good enough, my aids weren't good enough, and I wasn't fit enough to get the best out of it.

There are several instructors at my RS too- I started with a really kind, nurturing instructor. I had one private lesson with a different instructor who was v much more PT-drill sergeant type- very direct both in when she tells you are getting it wrong but also when you get it right. I learned loads- but I'm back with my original confidence-giving instructor now. And she is teaching me to jump. And today I had enough confidence to jump a couple of XC jumps (1'6" baby ones) out on a hack with my own horse!

There's no point in being pushed too hard- if you are nervous, horses will pick up on it.

My mate has a 14.2 (green) mare who today was acting like a spoilt brat. My big boy (16.2) is so safe I'd stick my 94-year old Nan on him! It's about personality and partnership with both you & your horse and also you and your instructor.

I would pick your favourite instructor, and ask for a private lesson- and say that you've lost your confidence and spend a lesson working within your capabilities.

You'll get a lot out of it. Let us know how you get on.
 
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Nice to see people in a similar position sharing experiences :)

The only thing I would quibble with is don't say you've lost your confidence - you haven't! But if you start thinking that way & giving yourself that label then fairly soon you will lose it & that will be a real problem. All this was was one lesson that didn't go so well because you were on a horse you didn't feel comfortable on & were asked to do a bit too much, back on Buddy I'm sure you'll be fine. Write this lesson off & don't keep replaying it in your mind, instead remember how well you'd been doing on Buddy & how good it will feel to be back on him next week. You WILL be fine!
 
Thank you everyone, yes @Kite_Rider this horse that I rode turned into a pocket rocket - definitely faster than Buddy. And Thanks @Calder, its been quite a few years since I have ridden. so this is all taking time for me and am determined to get there. Not stopping at this stage. :) I like your expression @HaloHoney, your "brave-enough- to-jump-pants" hopefully one day I will have those pants on too.
I have sat and '"analysed" things as I do, yes I tend to do that. (my older RI tells me to stop thinking too much...) But I feel better now, and will not be pushed into jumping or cantering if I do not feel safe.
There were several issues yesterday that I came up with; being put on a horse that have not ridden before, she is smaller than Buddy, and therefore a lot faster - did ok with walk and with trot (that was ok); the cantering was not possible, could not keep my seat and therefore felt unsafe; the jumps were reasonable with the single pole on ground, only off the ground about six inches - I did those and felt reasonable. The x bars were the one visually that scared me and that then transferred to the horse. (yes that's in my head - but I have to work through this at my pace)
And I have to admit I can feel I have done a workout today, definitely used those abs....so heading to gym this afternoon to do a small workout and some stretching.
I have a friend at work who is 11 years my junior, she has own horse, as well as daughter. Have talked to her, and she has been great support, am going to a horse event that daughter (13) is entered in, 13th August . So will be great to meet other horse people, and to watch others riding, competing. Thank you everyone for all your support. :)
 
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I have sat and '"analysed" things as I do, yes I tend to do that. (my older RI tells me to stop thinking too much...)

I had an RI who'd tell me that, as well! She was right, but it is the way I tend to do things and since, as one is constantly told, it's harder to learn or to change your ways as you get older, I'm unlikely to change.

The trick for me seems to be to think afterwards rather than in the moment - to let your body do the thinking and the learning, so that next time it comes naturally. But thinking about why the horse does or does not do something, or about one's own position, has to be part of the process. For example, for a long time my rising trot was not very fluid: I tended to 'rush' it, anticipating the rise , overdoing it, then collapsing. As my lower leg has strengthened and I have learnt to pull it back (not easy with fortysomething hips!) I've found it easier to relax and to go with the motion (more forward than upward). But this is something I've learnt through a combination of muscle-memory and conscious visualisation (and looking - getting myself filmed for Interdressage tests was a real eye-opener as to how I was rising). I've never responded very well to being told to relax, or to stop thinking so much - quite the opposite!

Again, what seems to work best is first, riding time; second, an RI who gives one the confidence to just do it - in other words, do as you are told - but with the required empathy and experience to realise that intentions aren't always carried out; that confidence exists moment-by-moment; and that riding is hardly a mechanical process.
 
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Nice to see people in a similar position sharing experiences :)

The only thing I would quibble with is don't say you've lost your confidence - you haven't! But if you start thinking that way & giving yourself that label then fairly soon you will lose it & that will be a real problem. All this was was one lesson that didn't go so well because you were on a horse you didn't feel comfortable on & were asked to do a bit too much, back on Buddy I'm sure you'll be fine. Write this lesson off & don't keep replaying it in your mind, instead remember how well you'd been doing on Buddy & how good it will feel to be back on him next week. You WILL be fine!
I wholeheartedly agree with this, its great to share experiences but don't label yourself as lacking confidence, the fact of the matter is that things with animals don't always go to plan, half the skill is learning to see the silver lining in a situation :D
 
Thank you @Calder and @Jessey, yes I still have my confidence. And I agree with Calder, its hard to change the way you process some things when you are a mature person. This 61 year old body is still doing well, has been through a few dramas but keeps moving forward.
I will ride next Saturday on Buddy, relax and enjoy the ride. :)
 
I happened to grab a magazine today, Horse and Rider, UK publication. Figured I need to read something while I was waiting for an appointment. Well there was an article in there called "reach for the skies" talked about jumping. Talked about that its ok to ask for help, and quote: "book a private lesson so it runs entirely at a pace you're comfortable with and you don't have to worry about holding anyone back" Boosted my confidence just reading this. :)
 
8th RIDING LESSON:
Following last weeks lesson that rocked my boat, this week I had Buddy - steady, slow, plodder but great for beginning me.
I also had my favourite instructor Alison (hope thats ok to say that) she is a little older than the others, and does understand that the mature rider is less flexible, and takes a little longer to grasp things. I managed to have a chat before and she did say that getting used to another horse takes more than one lesson. I have told her I still want to learn on Fanta one day, but need to have time to get used to her.
Today there was only one other student in the class, that was good. Alison had us doing some basics, then mostly walking, trotting and option of canter. I did say I would rather leave the canter till another lesson. I did manage to get Buddy to trot on my own, and kept him on track most of the time.
Alison told me at the end of the lesson that I had done well, have to work on my leg position - it was corrected a few times today, apparently I move my leg too far forward. Overall I felt much better after this lesson. I have also asked Alison re requesting her for lessons where she is available, she is happy with that. Onwards and upward! :)
 
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