Clingy mare

[squidsin]

I know people say mares are often attached to one person and have a strong bond with their owner, but my mare only trusts me. My YO had to turn her out for me yesterday as I was away, and he said she was incredibly sharp, spooked and tried to gallop off with him. He said she would barely even let him put her headcollar on! With me, she is a total dobbin and will just try and graze when I bring her out/in, if she's feeling cheeky. She comes when I call and follows me round the field. I can and do walk her with my dog.

Nobody else at my yard can catch her.

On the one hand, although I am touched by her loyalty, I know that's a very human response and I am a bit worried by the fear she continues to show towards everyone else, even people she knows who have been nothing but kind to her. How do I make her less scared of people? She is better with women but obviously the world has men in it and I want her to be able to deal with that. I do wonder if, with such a strong fear response, I'll ever manage to do anything with her riding-wise without the risk of her panicking - even with me - and doing something stupid.

ETA - she is not in ridden work atm, I am looking at getting her re-started in late March/April, and would like to try and get her used to the idea of others handling her before that.

 

[Jane&Ziggy]

What was she like with you when you got her?

If you have had to go through a process of gaining her trust, then I can't help but think that for her to trust other people., at least to start with, they'll have to go through that process too. I don't think that horses easily generalise - "Mum is nice to me, so other people will be nice to me too".

It will probably take some time for her to be more confident.

 

[notpoodle]

Mine are mummy's girls and have been known to be swineys for other people, but never in a fashion where they can't be caught or do anything dangerous, they're just testing how far they can push the boat out and if people know how to deal with that, they won't have any issues. always better if they can be handled and 'done' by others in case of emergency etc.

 

[squidsin]

What was she like with you when you got her?

If you have had to go through a process of gaining her trust, then I can't help but think that for her to trust other people., at least to start with, they'll have to go through that process too. I don't think that horses easily generalise - "Mum is nice to me, so other people will be nice to me too".

It will probably take some time for her to be more confident.

I'd say we only properly clicked just before Christmas, so it's taken nearly a year for me to completely gain her trust. When I got her, I could barely even lead her out to the field either, and catching her took literally HOURS. Three hours average, to start off with! Now she comes to me though. Do you think with time, repetition and bad stuff just not happening to her, she'll chill out eventually?

I am going to take retraining her at a total snail's pace. I think I accidentally overfaced her when I got her, even though I wasn't doing much.

 

[Trewsers]

Hmm difficult. Both our girls are extremely well mannered with other people, male and female. Storm has a strong bond with me, and there are things that she will allow me and me only to do, but nothing that would be deemed as bad if someone else tried. For example - last year when she was very ill she allowed me to calm her and scratch all the right places whilst vet nerve blocked her. It made life easier because I knew which buttons to press - she would have been good for OH but might have taken the vet longer as he'd have had to wait for her to relax.
Only thing I could suggest is for other handlers to work with her gradually. Can you maybe see about someone different fetching her in every other day? Maybe you be present to ease the procedure?

 

[squidsin]

Hmm difficult. Both our girls are extremely well mannered with other people, male and female. Storm has a strong bond with me, and there are things that she will allow me and me only to do, but nothing that would be deemed as bad if someone else tried. For example - last year when she was very ill she allowed me to calm her and scratch all the right places whilst vet nerve blocked her. It made life easier because I knew which buttons to press - she would have been good for OH but might have taken the vet longer as he'd have had to wait for her to relax.
Only thing I could suggest is for other handlers to work with her gradually. Can you maybe see about someone different fetching her in every other day? Maybe you be present to ease the procedure?

It's a bit of a catch-22 as I can't think of anyone who'd want to traipse round a field for hours after her, trying to catch her! And I am quite pressed for time myself, fitting her schedule in round the school run and few hours of daylight.

Maybe I am humanising it, but although she's definitely mainly motivated by fear, I think there's an element of naughtiness to it too. I've seen her dancing away from the YO's efforts to catch her in quite a mischievous fashion, and he says - although she never does it in front of me - that she often bronks round the field and sets the other horses off when he feeds them in the mornings. I feed her slightly later, once I've dropped my son at school, but she knows the routine!

ETA - He tried really hard to catch her while I was in Spain, as all the horses came in due to dire weather, but in the end had to just leave her out with his New Forest pony for company.

 

[Trewsers]

It's a bit of a catch-22 as I can't think of anyone who'd want to traipse round a field for hours after her, trying to catch her! And I am quite pressed for time myself, fitting her schedule in round the school run and few hours of daylight.

Maybe I am humanising it, but although she's definitely mainly motivated by fear, I think there's an element of naughtiness to it too. I've seen her dancing away from the YO's efforts to catch her in quite a mischievous fashion, and he says - although she never does it in front of me - that she often bronks round the field and sets the other horses off when he feeds them in the mornings. I feed her slightly later, once I've dropped my son at school, but she knows the routine!

ETA - He tried really hard to catch her while I was in Spain, as all the horses came in due to dire weather, but in the end had to just leave her out with his New Forest pony for company.

Hmm - tis difficult when time is short. She sounds quite a character setting off the others too!!!
Hopefully when the weather improves this will be reflected in her manner - lets hope she will be more chilled.