I know exactly what your saying
@Trewsers its exactly what im going through now. So many mixed emotions. So feel free to post.
Part of me doesnt even want another, but im missing riding aleady, guilty that someone else is riding my horse, not me, but i dont want 3 horses, so lessons would at least cover me, but then i know i will struggle having lessons and i know i will end up in tears when i cant get something. You get the idea. Its the way i am. Ive already struggled with the few ive had. I count myself lucky, that my first horse has been an angel and got me out of having lessons.
When i got billy he was my replacement for chunky so he could be semi retired. I wanted something a step up from chunky and i certainly have had that but have not enjoyed the quirks that come with him. I had intended to take him for regular lessons. Then my trailer broke and by the time i got the new one he was lame and then mum decided dhe didnt want to tow. So my progress and growing my riding skill with him hasnt happened.
If i get another i want to be able to ride and drive it, funride and i want to take it out for lessons and grow with it. Once they change the towing laws i should at least be able to do this. So i have a plan in my head but its making it happen.