Breaking myself in gently

C

ChesterRoo

New Member
Nov 16, 2015
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Hi All!
New to the group so thought I'd put a little post in to say hi.
I've recently got back into riding, and have taken the opportunity to loan off a neighbour. She's taken me under her wing and it's teaching me the way again, seeing as the last time I rode was when I was about 11 and I;m now 26.
I still find my nerves and anxiety are killing me! Every time I make my way to the farm my stomach flips. Every time the horse moves when I'm tacking him I freak.
I'm hoping this will go with time...? And the riding...well, some times my nerves are shot! I think he's trying to test me as he can pick up on my nerves. Not doing anything particularly naughty...he's 22, seen it all, done it all. He's lovely! I guess I just need to be a bit more sure of myself?
I never used to have this as a kid. Will it soon go the more time I spend around them? I know they're not there to hurt me, I just always think of worse case scenario rather than enjoying myself with it.
Always feel amazing after I've spent a morning up there though!
 
Do you know, only this morning I said to my RI as we were going for a hack, "I think it was for about three years after I got Ziggy that every time I went to do anything with him I got butterflies in my tummy. But now not even a little bit, just feel happy."

I am not even a remotely anxious person but even I have noticed how long it takes!

ETA - welcome to the forum!
 
Hi, I'm glad to hear you've made a return to horses. The truth is I was pretty fearless as a child/teenager but ime as you get older you have more responsibilities and self preservation becomes a bigger priority, your confidence will grow the more time your round horses/ in the saddle but sadly as a adult you tend to look at the bigger picture and a risk assessment comes into that.As long as you don't over horse yourself for your ability you will be fine, don't put too much pressure on yourself just have fun:) x
 
Hello and welcome. I rode now and again as a child until I was about 14. Then I started "properly" aged 34. I had butterflies and sometimes still do:Dbut it's nice to still have them - I look at it as not taking riding for granted:) it's my excitement!
 
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I remember when I first got Ben feeling the butterflies everytime I drove into the yard. I can't remember how long they lasted for, but at least several months. I am now just excited as I arrive as I can't wait to see him. The excitment never goes.
 
If it helps I don't think many adults are 100% fearless like a lot of people are as children, myself and many others here have had confidence issues at times but we all muddle through cause there's nothing better than pony/horse time.x
 
Yes definitely agree that pony/horse time is the best I guess I'd feel more comfortable when I 100% know what I'm doing. Such as when I'm tacking him up I could almost do it with my eyes closed. Also, when I hack out on him, if I separate him from his companion (my neighbours others horse) he goes on strike. I've only separated off from her once before, her and another went for a gallop, and me and another stayed with a steady walk. But he just stopped, I was trying to ask him to go on and everything I was doing didn't seem to work :/ he'd walk a few paces then stop again. He was only happy when I heard her galloping up behind me. Then he carried on as normal. Is he trying to play me a little?
 
Many horses/ponies will test a new rider, as he's older he's wiser and maybes is seeing what he can get away with, he sounds quite sensible though as if a horse cantered up behind mine he would be dancing all over just out of excitement:) The owner will know how he is normally and will be able to tell you if he's acting out of character or testing you. x
 
I don't really believe that horses 'test' as such, but I do think that the respond differently to different riders. If you are nervous and unsure, then this will make him nervous and unsure. Although believe me, it is much better to have a horse who stops when his friend gallops off as opposed to a horse who wants to gallop after him. It's all about learning how to ride this particular horse. They are all so individual.
 
I know how you feel OP. Most of the time I just look forward to riding my horse - unless we're competing, in which case the nerves definitely kick in - but occasionally I just feel randomly nervous! When I got her, I was a bit nervous around her, leading and grooming and so on, but those nerves are long gone now. I've had her just over a year. You'll be fine! Get lessons with a good instructor if you can afford it, don't put any pressure on yourself, and enjoy!
 
Mary Poppins said:
I don't really believe that horses 'test' as such, but I do think that the respond differently to different riders. If you are nervous and unsure, then this will make him nervous and unsure. Although believe me, it is much better to have a horse who stops when his friend gallops off as opposed to a horse who wants to gallop after him. It's all about learning how to ride this particular horse. They are all so individual.
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I am not sure if 'test' is the right word for it either, but depending on their temperament, they see what they can get away with. Roxy is a wily horse who generally puts in the least amount of effort (unless jumping, doing a sponsored ride or having a good gallop, all things she loves) and when I first got her and couldn't really ride for toffee, she loved it! She got to plod around, doing very little, never having to work through her body properly, head up like a camel. Once I had lessons and started getting after her and riding properly, we went through a phase where she was very resistant to this change! Lots of bucking! (Probably because my aids weren't all that clear either.) It wasn't like she was going to dump me on the ground at any point, but I definitely think she preferred the old days when all we did in the school was mooch about!
 
I think I might take a few lessons aside from loaning this one too, so as I can get the technicalities back of how to ask for things, even the basics. It's mad how I used to do all of this when I was a kid, and I've forgotten it all maybe, if I go back to a school I can pick up the good habits again and go back feeling more confident. I'm thinking this might help both of us
 
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Hi and welcome to the group. I agree with Mary Poppins - if the rider feels unsure and anxious, the horse will pick that up and wonder what they're worried about and get worried too .... But they all respond in different ways to being worried. I remember riding my wonderful steady cob on our first-ever cross-country course; he was quite experienced and the jumps were smaller than he was used to. We went clear, and afterwards I said to someone, how he was staring at all the jumps .... Oh, of course - I was terrified of the whole thing, and he was wondering where the danger was ... But some horses (especially mares, I think, but that could be wrong), will just want to take over if they feel there's danger, and they migiht express that by galloping home, with or without getting rid of the useless rider first.

I think a few lessons would be a good idea, ChesterRoo - I know you're pretty young, but you might still find that riding styles have changed since you were a child, and bringing yourself up to date would help with your confidence.
 
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