Being a non-smoker.....

Dark Storm

Dark Storm

Well I'll be a Krampus's Auntie! :D!
Jan 4, 2009
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.....I'm struggling to understand what a smoker goes through when they're going 'cold turkey'.. he's on lozenges, to help him quit, but I'm having trouble dealing with his strange moods..
I keep feeling as though I've done something wrong, when I know I haven't as he keeps huffing and puffing, generally restless, irritable etc.. he hasn't snapped at me yet (thank goodness) but I'm finding myself feeling uncomfortable, or more to say, helpless, to help him:cry:
I offer comfort, he says the whole process is horrible, he doesn't know what to do with himself:frown: This is his 3rd week, and he says it's getting harder..
I've read through what the withdrawal symptoms are, so know what to expect, but just wish I could understand what he's going through.. I feel so niave:cry:
 
He needs to replace it with something. So something that would help could be getting him to do something with you eg. go for a meal or a walk or something where smoking isn't normally involved.

Eat a chocolate real slow and then tell yourself you can't have any chocolate ever again, not even a little bit...... bet you'll be craving some within a hr or two. That's a bit like going cold turkey.

I gae up smoking some time ago and did go cold turkey but also replaced it with eating too much lol
 
Yes, it's hard, the hardest thing I've ever done. S'funny, but the nicotine withdrawal thing is the easiest - it's the habit that's the problem in most cases. Agreed, the best thing is to do something together that's a bit different to your usual things. I quit after the smoking ban, so I'm betting that made things a lot easier for me - wherever I went indoors, there was never someone lighting up near me to distract me from my goal. I pity anyone who tried to stop when you could smoke in pubs etc - it must have been pure torture for them. He needs to keep his hands busy if at all possible - have you got an XBox or a Wii? Have you got some DIY he can do? :D

You could remind him how he's set himself free. You don't realise how much of a prisoner you were till you stop. One of the best things about not smoking is, for instance, those long meetings at work, when you had to wait for a toilet break before you could have a fag, then you wouldn't have time to go to the loo and have a coffee. But you think it's worth it when you smoke!

But on the other hand, reminding him about how good life is as a non-smoker could just make him think about smoking again - it might sound unbelievable to someone who's never smoked, but it becomes an obsession after the first few days - all you can think about is having a smoke. A bit like when you really need the loo - you can't think about anything else till you've been!!!

Sounds like he's doing really well though if he's not biting your head off! An important thing to remember as well, some ex-smokers (like me) will always have a craving occasionally. If he turns out to be one of those, he shouldn't panic but just ride it out. It will get easier, I promise!
 
He told me the other day, he detests the smell of other peoples smoking already! I didn't think he would get to that stage so quick.. His sleeping patterns a bit erratic, he often drifts off long after I have, and I've been waking up to find the TV still on, and getting up to turn it off..
 
Poor thing. Its not easy. i stopped for 18 months and have been smoking again for 3 months along with my OH.
We're going to pack in again after shooting season finishes as we feel so coughy and unhealthy already.
IO found cleaning my teeth was a good idea as I didnt like smoking after I'd done that. I had awfully clean teeth.
Habits are the worst to break I must admit. fag after eating, with coffee or after mucking out etc.
Least he finds the smell repulsive so he's on the right track!
 
I will try to explain what I found it to be like; You know that feeling you get when you realise you forgot somthing really important or did something really stupid and you get that horrid knot in your stomach/sinking type feeling really suddenly? a bit like a wave of nausea it kind of hits you. I found it kind of like that. When you think about not having a cig it kind of grabs you and you literally dont know what to do with yourself. Even if you really dont want one, your mind plays tricks on you and you go through a whole load of emotion from 'dont be so ridiculous, take a deep breath it will pass' right through to 'if I want a cig then I will bloomin have one'.
I found it worse when people tried to be understanding (especially people who have never smoked) and found that made me want a cig even more (not going to help you possibly!) out of spite.
The good thing is the cravings do pass and it is the best feeling in the world when, for the first time you realise you havent even thought about it for a few hours. That then becomes a whole day, a week (I havent quite got to weeks without even thinking about it, but its only been a few months since I stopped) I wish him the best of luck, it really is worth it but it is a long road x
 
I've never once actually asked him about trying to stop, he doesn't really smoke in front of me, and is on roll ups (has been all the time I've known him), averaging 10 a day, so to me he isn't a heavy smoker, and he does use filters with the roll ups..
He's doing this as much for himself as me, I don't intend in giving him any pressure, this is entirely his choice, and I support what ever he decides, going against the grain would have probably made it harder for him, so leaving him to decide his next step, and being there when he gets too peed off, seems to be the way to go :)
 
Hope it gets easier for him soon. I quit at pretty much the same time as OH, I have found it easier than I expected tbh but I have had loads of other things going off to distract me. Saying that, I started being really nasty to OH a couple of hours ago threw a tantrum and stormed out with the intention of going to the shops and buying some fags but instead had a lozenge and went to the horses. Forgot about smoking but had a cry with Rhia and have come home- now need to apologise. I can't fully blame smoking on my bad moods, there is a lot more going in but it hasn't helped that I have decided to quit the nicotine. Sorry I can't offer any advice really, I have tried loads of times before but failed because I didn't really want to quit. This time I do, which has made it a lot easier and I am finding the lozengers help. OH has used the patches and read a book by Alan Carr. What strength lozengers is he using? I found the ones eqivalant to my smoking (10 a day) really didn't help so upted to the 20 a day ones and they deffo take away the craving. Nothing has stopped me being nasty- but maybe if I had been sucking one earlier I wouldn't have gone off on one.
 
He says it's not the nicotine he's missing, it's the 'need' to roll a fag, and hold it, putting it between his lips.. he's wallpapering at the moment, so keeping busy..
we're in the middle of re-decorating the bedroom, have ordered the furniture (to avoid vat increase) and expect that to arrive within the next 4 weeks, so in the mean time its wall and paint then new flooring:biggrin:
Hopefully he'll be too busy to think about them:wink:
 
Think of it like feeling permanent PMT and you're half way there. :giggle: The other half is that desire for chocolate but knowing its bad for you, like the feeling that you need it, not that you just want it.
Its hell on earth but he needs to keep thinking if he can get to the end of the month then the pain will lessen.
 
Dark Storm said:
He says it's not the nicotine he's missing, it's the 'need' to roll a fag, and hold it, putting it between his lips.. he's wallpapering at the moment, so keeping busy..
we're in the middle of re-decorating the bedroom, have ordered the furniture (to avoid vat increase) and expect that to arrive within the next 4 weeks, so in the mean time its wall and paint then new flooring:biggrin:
Hopefully he'll be too busy to think about them:wink:
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Get him some chuppa chups lollies to suck on, it helps deal with the hand to mouth action he's missing out on. (Do I get the prize for most suggestive post on a thread?!)
 
Flipo's Mum said:
Get him some chuppa chups lollies to suck on, it helps deal with the hand to mouth action he's missing out on. (Do I get the prize for most suggestive post on a thread?!)
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Working in a sweet factory makes that one easy to solve:wink: I've already told him, if he's going to fall off the wagon, it will be by first brew.. I've suggested nicotine gum for work, so he has something to balance his mind whilst swearing at the machine:throwball::biggrin:
 
I found I missed smoking as my little reward ie finish the cleaning, have a cig then put the washing in, hoover and then have a cig.

I hate the smell when others smoke but it still makes me want one, but one drag and it makes me heave.

Being pregnant made me stop, OH has tried gum and cleaning teeth all help and drinking is a big no no. Even after a few drinks I start smoking.
 
Has he had any help from his GP? My friend had the patches and the ciggy holder to put in your mouth. Worked for her
I gave up years ago. Most useful thing I was told was to put an elastic band round your wrist & every time you think of smoking twang it & it changes your thought patterns. Works for some - worked for me.
 
My hubby gave up for 8 months with the help of patches I was so pleased but like DS couldnt understand what he was going through having never smoked. He was much more irritable than he had been before but I kept thinking its okay his health must be better and certainly not spending as much. We went on holiday and it was great at the airport as he didnt have to keep moaning about how long before he could have a fag and when we landed he would normally rush outside to light up whilst I watched for the luggage ha ha. After a few days he said Im going to buy a packet of cigs I really like smoking I was so upset but he went and got some and since then has been back on them and smokes more than he did in the first place, he had given up about 3 times before for a month or so then back on them and each time I get worked up about it so now Im just leaving him to it I dont miser him to pack in as I know he will just go back to them and I will get upset. DS lets hope your OH has more will power
 
i went cold turkey about two years ago (having smoked up to 25/30 a day for well over 10 years - not proud of that!). i was in a foul mood for quite a while (but luckily, the OH is a saint, not argumentative and doesn't take things personal when they're not) - i always had a strange sense of urgency, like i had to be somewhere QUICK or i was missing something really amazing or somebody, somewhere was having a party without me!

just be patient, dont take anything personal and be kind and encouraging - hopefully he'll suceed!!!
 
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