Advice please, unfit horse & rider.

Blue-Lady

New Member
Jan 19, 2016
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North Wales
Hi :) as a little girl I had family with horses and would happily jump on anything without a second thought.... 20+ years out of the saddle and it was suggested that I try horse therapy to help manage my mental health (I suffer with manic depression and social anxiety). I had some lessons, fell in love again, loaned a horse, had a nasty fall, lost all my confidence and gave up :( My lovely husband however wouldn't let me get away so easily, he says he couldn't believe how settled my health was while I was spending time at the yard. Last October a friend had to quit riding for her own health and my husband decided he surprise me by buying her mare as an early christmas present as he know I adored her.

Since when, I've moved her to a lovely local yard and spent endless hours bonding with grooming and some very light groundwork but... Lulu hasn't be so much as sat on for about 3 years, foaled last spring and it turned out would't take a bit thanks to a mouth full of sores and sharp teeth not having seen a dentist for years (obviously I've sorted that).

So here's the thing, now she's seen the vet, dentist, farrier & back man, how do I help her return to work and rebuild my confidence to actually ride. She's an amazing horse and I don't want to spoil her or set myself back any further. Thanks in advance for any help you can give me :)
 
If I was you, I'd enlist a professional riding instructor to ride her for a couple of weeks first, to start bringing her back into work. Confidence is a fragile thing, and easily broken, and rebacking a horse isn't something I'd tackle as a novice rider. Once she's back in work, I'd have as many lessons as I could afford on my horse with that riding instructor. If money is an issue, then you need to enlist someone knowledgeable about rebacking. Is there anyone on your yard who can help you?
 
There are a couple of very experienced owners who have offered me lots of help already, I do seem to have fallen on my feet with a very friendly yard. I know 1 lady in particular who often rides other peoples horse so I'm thinking I should speak to her - she can only say no :) I'm lucky that money is not a massive issue so lessons on Lulu once she back is definitely a thing I can do. Thank you so much for your advice.
 
Hi, I would agree with everything @squidsin has said. If it has been 3 years from she was last ridden and your confidence is a bit shaky i would definitely let a professional ride her first. She sounds lovely though, hope to see some photo's of her soon :)
 
Another in agreement here :) I would also suggest taking her for little walks, in the school, fields or out, what ever you are happy to do, it will help get you both fit and start to get her exposure to different things again so by the time you get on board the only new thing is you being up there instead of next to her and it will further her confidence in you too :)
 
I would also agree to getting a professional to help out with her, at least initially.

But I would also say that you need to go at your own pace and don't feel that you have to be rushed along by other people. The horse world can be very competitive and other people can sometimes make you feel that you are not doing enough with your horse and that can lead to feeling inadequate. When I first came back to riding after loosing all my confidence, I had 30 minutes private lessons. For the first few lessons I just sat on the horse and when I felt ready I slowly walked round. This was all I did for the first few weeks - if my riding instructor had pushed me into doing more than I was ready for then I probably would have given up for good.

The joy of having your own horse is that you can do exactly as you like. If you decide that you just want to walk your horse around the arena and not do anything more, that is absolutely fine. If you enjoy in-hack hacking (as many of us do on this forum), that is fine as well. Don't let anyone tell you what you should and shouldn't be doing. I have owned my horse for 4 years now and he is an absolute dream come true. There is nothing as therapeutic as building a bond and spending time with such amazing animals. Your husband sounds wonderful to be so supportive in buying you this mare and everyone on this forum is very supportive too. I look forward to hearing about how your relationship with your horse progresses.
 
Enlist in some professional input, even experienced confident riders have outside input.
You can get that person to teach you to longrein and lunge as well so you have a few other tools in your box.
Your fitness will build up together.

Spending time at the yard and being around horses is what I enjoy. I am one of those who doesn't own just to ride. I love the ground time, enjoy taking photos, enjoy our summer picnics. In an odd way I like all the chores-remind me I said that when it's minus five, dark and gale force. :D

Any photos of your lass and welcome by the way.
 
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Hi and welcome,
Nothing beats manic depression better than a horse;) I have the same condition and haven't had a relapse since owning mine:):):) They have this unique ability to see off depression and keep me balanced:)
I would suggest lots of chilling out together on the ground wether it be grooming, in hand hacking, feed times (always work for mine!) maybe some ethological ground schooling, or just chatting:)p). Basically whatever makes you both feel relaxed and happy.
For working towards remounting as others have said definitely lessons with a sympathetic instructor that understands your needs and comfort zones plus and first some lessons on lunging if you don't already know how to do it - good for voice control/commands, instilling your position/hierarchy with her whilst also rebuilding her fitness in a manageable and safe way for you.

Lovely to read your story and loo forward to hearing how it progresses (+ some photo's would be nice of course!;))
 
I just want to add that there are quite a few of us on here who've perhaps ridden as children, but have only seriously taken up riding and/or horse ownership as adults. I am 40 and have had my horse Roxy for a year and a half, and it's been fantastic - a steep learning curve, but that's part of the fun. Enjoy!
 
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Horses are wonderfully therapeutic! Groundwork is fabulous for building confidence, fitness and a bond. Take it slow, get as much help as you need and ENJOY:D:D:D
 
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Many many congratulations on the purchase of your mare. How thrilling for you. We'd love to see pictures!

I agree with everything my friends here have said so far, but would add a couple of things: since she has had a bad experience with bitting, you could consider doing groundwork (and later riding her) bitless, using whatever type of bitless bridle suits her best - if you search for "bitless" on here you'll turn up lots of threads discussing the various options and explaining how you can test your horse in a head collar to see what action she prefers.

Also, I'd like to put in a word for long reining (again, there's been a lot on the forum about this recently if you search for it). It's a great way to bring an out-of practice horse back into work, and a great way for its owner to get fit! Perhaps you could ask your RI to help you learn how to long rein, when you find one. If you are looking for someone to help you with ground work, it's worth seeing if there's a Kelly Marks- registered Intelligent Horsemanship person near you as they often have good expertise in this area.
 
I can't add anything to everyone's great advice. I just wanted to welcome you to the forum and say congratulations on your new horse. She sounds wonderful and I can't wait to hear more about your progress. My pony is a wonderful therapist and I always feel so put together after spending time with him.
 
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