Moving away (too far to ride at my usual place)

Nierva

Nierva

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Mar 13, 2023
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I have been offered a job in a different part of the country, far too far to continue riding where I have been for over a year now and have grown very comfortable with both the people and horses and ponies. As riding and being around horses/ponies has been what's really kept me going these past few years, I don't want to stop, but I'm also very wary of trying out new places, as I've grown so comfortable where I am, made friends there, got to know how the horses/ponies I ride like to be ridden and their quirks, etc. I know riding somewhere else, at least for a while, could make me a much better rider in the long term, but the older I get, the more nervous I get about riding somewhere new! Where I ride at the moment, I know I can trust the people and horses (and, perhaps most importantly, the horses I'm paired with by the people). I'm more aware of my own fragility and mortality and know that not all riding places are equally good, particularly when it comes to lessons.

I'd rather try somewhere new than have to take a long break (the better part of a year), but am just very nervous about the whole idea. There does seem to be a riding school that caters for both adults and children where I'm hoping to live - not that I've actually succeeded in securing accommodation yet, priorities! - but I haven't got in touch with them just yet, as I also have a silly fear of talking to strangers on the phone. I can usually force myself when horses are involved, though, in the end!

I'm also worried that, if I can ride there, I'll get on whatever horse/pony they give me, won't manage to do anything they ask of me and will look like a fool/a total beginner all over again.

Might anyone have any words of encouragement/wisdom for me? They'd be much appreciated!
 
Once you do something aboutit it will be far less worrying than it is now.

How soon is this move likely to be? Some schools are really busy and for popular timeslots you might need to go on a waiting list so I would suggest ringing them and having a chat. If you're nervous about riding at a different place it may be an idea to slightly understate your abilities and also tell them you're anxious about riding at a different place, that way you won't get put in a group that is more advanced than you're happy with or given less straightforward horses - it's a rare, and undesirable, school that soesn't want clients to be relaxed and happy. And riding is a great way to make new friends!
 
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carthorse said:
Once you do something aboutit it will be far less worrying than it is now.

How soon is this move likely to be? Some schools are really busy and for popular timeslots you might need to go on a waiting list so I would suggest ringing them and having a chat. If you're nervous about riding at a different place it may be an idea to slightly understate your abilities and also tell them you're anxious about riding at a different place, that way you won't get put in a group that is more advanced than you're happy with or given less straightforward horses - it's a rare, and undesirable, school that soesn't want clients to be relaxed and happy. And riding is a great way to make new friends!
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Thanks! Those are all really good points. I definitely tend to overthink things. Not so much when I'm on a horse - mindfulness that works like no other! - but the rest of the time. I wouldn't really have much free time at all. I know a lot of places only do lessons for children at weekends, if they do weekend lessons at all, but unless they offered evenings (probably 5.30pm at the very earliest) I couldn't do during the week. Where I ride at the moment has always just told me to say that I can walk, trot and canter. I have jumped, but nothing huge, and there's no way I'd want to jump in a first lesson anywhere anyway!

As for when the move would be...2 main factors there, really. 1) When I can find accommodation and move in and 2) when they give me a start date after that (but they're closed for 2 weeks in the middle of this month, so I wouldn't accept before that now). It's a maternity cover thing. Technically, the person who went away on maternity cover went off all the way back at the end of December, although they'd thought she would be back for a week in January. Interviews weren't until the end of January, then there was paperwork and now it's trying to find accommodation (without knowing when I'll even get an actual contract, which is fun, and it'll probably take even longer for me to know exactly how much I'll get paid! The initial contract took several days in my last maternity cover post and the one telling me how much I'd earn several weeks).
 
Anticipation is definitely the worst, it will no doubt be fine when you get there.

If you’re worried about calling could you email them? Then you can take some time to make sure you include exactly what you want to.

Riding different horses will help you grow, and build confidence. I too would understate your riding ability, being under horsed initially is infinitely better than being over horsed, you can always upgrade next lesson and it helps avoid any embarrassing moments!
 
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Jessey said:
Anticipation is definitely the worst, it will no doubt be fine when you get there.

If you’re worried about calling could you email them? Then you can take some time to make sure you include exactly what you want to.

Riding different horses will help you grow, and build confidence. I too would understate your riding ability, being under horsed initially is infinitely better than being over horsed, you can always upgrade next lesson and it helps avoid any embarrassing moments!
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I would rather write to them, but there are posts on their Facebook page saying that the best way to reach them is definitely to phone and leave a message (i.e. my nightmare scenario with strangers!) They say their Facebook page isn't manned and there's a post there from 2021 saying that they were trying to delete their website and that the email on it no longer works/they don't have it any longer. 🤷‍♀️As it's from 2021, who's to say if it still applies or not, but the post was pinned on their Facebook page, so maybe they really have been trying and failing to delete it for 5 years.

You're right, of course. I would indeed rather be under horsed initially than over horsed!
 
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Well, did indeed get the answer phone. At least I was expecting it and had written myself a script for that purpose, haha.

I gave them my name, number, told them I might be moving to that town, a little bit what I’ve done riding-wise so far (not overstating anything), my height and rough weight, what I’m hoping for (lessons and occasional hacks)…is there anything else you would have included? 🤔

Thanks again! ❤️
 
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Just left them yet another message asking if they could please suggest a day and time which might be best/we might not miss each other (but did say that I understand that they can't guarantee anything - I do understand a busy yard/farm environment). Wish me luck! I am definitely moving at the very beginning of April now, as I finally got accepted for accommodation, and in the town I wanted (with the equestrian centre just outside of it)!
 
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So, some good news - I finally managed to talk to someone at the riding centre and they’ve booked me in for an assessment lesson on Monday. I’m not quite sure why it had to take at least 2 missed messages from each side, 2 phone calls and at least 1 more phone call to confirm, though. If it’s always like this, I don’t imagine it’ll be easy to ride there regularly. Has anyone else ever experienced anything like that? Really hope that once they know me and I’ve got my foot in the door, it’ll get easier and I won’t have to keep phoning and leaving them messages. I won’t have time for that when I start working!

I’ve also never had an assessment lesson before, so am more than a bit nervous! Any tips (other than remembering to breathe and not forgetting how to ride, haha)?
 
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To be fair you missed calls as well as them, sometimes it just happens and I wouldn't read too much into it - they could easily have said you weren't picking up their callsd so you aren't interested. If you like it there it will get easier because you'll be able to book in person.

An assessment lesson is just so they can see what you can do, some people will say they're good riders and then you watch them and they struggle to stay on at a jog trot! Obviously a school doesn't want to put that rider in an advanced group or on anything but their quietest horses so it's easier to have a lesson where they can see what your level is. Don't judge the school horses too much in that lesson, they'll almost certainly use something totally safe and so getting it to do much may be an issue. You don't need tips, just relax, talk to them about what you've done and when you last rode if there's been a break, and do as they ask. The lesson is simply an initial assessment, if after a few rides you clearly ride better than you did then they'll move you or change the horses you ride accordingly.
 
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Good old telephone tennis, it just happens that way sometimes. I’m sure once you’re there you will be able to just book your next lesson before you leave so no need to call.

Assessment lessons are common at good schools, don’t be intimidated by it, it’s no different to any other lesson just that they do it before deciding which group you should join. And don’t be shy to ask them to explain what they’re asking for if you aren’t sure, as they may use different lingo compared to your old place.
 
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Nierva said:
Has anyone else ever experienced anything like that?
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Yes because some schools have an office with a manned phone while others do not and they set the answering machine for most of the day, dealing with calls all together later on. And even when there is a manned office at a larger RS, the person there may be registering new riders, taking payments or making new bookings. Or even fitting child clients with hired boots and hats.

As for trying to ring to book the next lesson, it is best to go into the office and to book ahead while you are there. If you need to cancel, you can probabl do this by text, email or on the answering maching. All riding schools I have been to have an efficient system for cancellation as children are regularly ill or parents suddenly needed for child care.

For years I shared and hacked solo on a retired lesson horse and rarely saw anyone, but knew I could phone the RI YO in the evening if I had any worries.

It is usually hard to book lessons at the best schools because they have waiting lists and can afford to drop clients.
 
I am posting seperately abut assessment lessons.
You have two problems, a horse and an RI who are new to you, plus possibly other people in the school.
If at all possible I want to use the warm up to get the horse listening to me. That usually involves riding walk halt transitions. Then trot walk transitions. In trot , accelerate toward a corner as turning the corner will slow the horse down.
Beware the treadmill test where you are asked to continue with no specific stopping place. It is fair enough for a tester to want to see you ride the whole way round, but to ride well, both horse and you need to know the destination.
Give an extra kick as you approach the exit gate as most horses will head for the gate and ask to stop there.

After one (I thought dismal) assessment lesson at a local RS, the RI told me that she had been amazed to see the old mare canter. The mare was very old and very safe and I had been put on her to keep me safe.

For taking assessments, I learned and memorised a very simple dressage test which (once I had the horse listening to me) I could try to ride on any horse I was given. No indecesion allowed. If the rider is sure of what they are doing the horse will probably pick up on that.

I will add that you should be propared for anything. When I went for my test at my current yard, I was asked to ride a grey horse (not my choice), mounted and walked away going large on the left rein, and the RI used her whip to slap the horse on his quarters, causing him to canter off with me on his back. I slowed him back to trot and apparently that was the test. Unexpected canter with no warning, replicates a spook. If a rider can sit a spook and canter then they are fit to hack.

I also discovered (being elderly) that if one is old, an RS may be unwilling to run the risk of asking you to canter, especially on a horse that is new to you and thus they dont know that one can ride canter. I had been hacking for 4 or 5 weeks in walk and trot (watching others in the group peel off to canter) when it occurred to me to tell the RI that I could canter and ask permission to show her.
 
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@Nierva please don't worry about the assessment lesson! Whenever I've done one it wasn't that different than a normal lesson, just maybe a little less instruction because they wanted to see what I knew. So they'd say what they wanted to see and I'd do it - eg pick up canter at K and do a 20m circle then go large, or halt at E, or trot a three loop serpentine - then depemding on how well it was done they'd have an idea of ability. If you don't understand what they want then ask, if they ask something you haven't done then tell thm that - for example the last time I did one they asked to see walk trot and canter without stirrups on both reins and I did say that I'd give it a go but I hadn't ridden without stirrups for many years so don't expect too much!

View it as a chance for you to assess them too, I did an assessment lesson at one place and didn't go back.
 
An assessment lesson I would see as standard practice. I had an assessment before I was allowed to hack out over the moors. I just had a walk round round with some halts.

If you really don't gel with the horse they have chosen, that's what the assessment is for. So although I didn't like the feel of the walk and I wouldn't want to own the horse I rode,I got on with them apart from that.
 
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carthorse said:
I hadn't ridden without stirrups for many years so don't expect too much!
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I have never cantered without stirrups. If a tester asks you to do something that you have not done before, just tell them you prefer not to.
RSs ask one to canter with no stirups as it is (or was) on the BHS list of things a rider must be able to do to be recognised at a certain level in their Stage tests. But there are other skills that make one a safe rider.
 
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