Some of you may remember my very long posts last year when i broke my arm in a freaky riding accident. I totaly lost my nerve and ended up loaning my boy to the riding school for the disabled where i am happy to say he is loved to bits and done so well i could cry. But i am not ready to ride him again just yet. However my desire to ride and interact with horses wouldnt go away and now i have loaned what was described as a bombproof ploddy cob. I have had her for a few weeks now and i do love her. However this has not been without problem ( not riding related and i'm posting about these elsewere) . I rode out alone for the second time saturday and whilst walking along the bridleway a bird flew out of the ditch and scared her ( I cant post to many details about her ) she danced about and made a big fuss , but didn't realy do anything that bad ,she's a very srong mare and it took me a minute to bring her back down to earth. I decided to exit the bridleway and take the road home, during the jouney i was a mass of nerves, its like all the steps i have taken forward have been withdrawn and im a wreck again and cant face getting on her. I went to her this morning but just looked for reasons why i cant get on her. will i ever be able to ride alone again? it feels doubtfull but shes very slow and nobody wants to ride with me.