Whoops I AM GOING FOR IT TONIGHT

Tina2011

Tina2011

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Mar 23, 2012
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Well what with the fooking dowg and all else no wonder:rolleyes:

Come to the conclusion I am to 'nice' and dog is not the only one needs to be put in its place. My son has just come home from 'paid for' holiday and has been moaning and groaning ever since. Just asked him to copy some CD's for my new car and he hit the big time, I can't explain its just to dumb. I asked him once, nicley could he do so CD's for me to put in the car, no big deal is it? he starts shouting and screaming at me get to get off his case blaa blaa, what? tells me I am a stupid drunk, well yes not surprising is it, paid £45,000 plus for his school and loads more besides and he is stuck at home doing......nothing? short verse of a long story but i am so nice and such a good mother and me and husband have done our best and we never push or try to criticise we always give him the benefit of the doubt. Its always the same for the simplest thing I ask and is so upsetting, he couldn't move his arse if a wasp stung it:cry::cry::cry:
 
Shame is it is so true, I nearly died having him, placenta previa, hemorrhaging for six weeks then he was in 'special care' then he was ill again with a kidney stone about six month later. Oh god it was awful, but he survived and has had everything anyone could want. He is 23 now and very handsome but he just wont go out and get a life, it is so sad, all that for nothing, he might as well be in a bloody wheelchair, he drives me nuts, he doesn't drive, he has no friends, I don't think he has ever had a girlfriend and he is gorgeous mad mad. He moans an groans about how bad the world is, have a laugh I just don't know whats wrong with him:help:

Its not even that people don't like him, he just don't like them:banghead::banghead::banghead:
 
I may be out of turn as I don't know your exact situation but his reaction sounds very unfair and maybe like he needs to learn how to pay for his own holidays and the rest :wink:
 
I am so glad I wrote this and got it off my chest so to speak, anyone feel free to comment good or bad I can only learn:smile: I know I have to give him the big shove:giggle: he has my blood and his dads in his veins so he can bloody well get on with it lol, we had to and our folkes before us. I am a very keen nest builder and suspect I have over done it with this one, my only child:cry: OMG what a silly post I must sound like a right twat
 
Time to put your foot down I think.. after all, he's old enough to look after his self.. perhaps start with saying he has to buy and cook his own food, wash and dry his own laundry, do his own ironing, and help clean the house, otherwise he's got to find his own place. Be firm, and fingers crossed, he should get his act in gear
 
Its a really hard one, my horses are easy but my son is a nightmare:cry::cry: lots of guilt and confusion. We have done our best for him, I have been an at home mother and done everything in my power to make things 'right' for him did all the kid stuff, despite being very ill myself at the time, I have driven myself into the ground and beyond to make things ok, really I have given him everything, he went to public school then uni and failed two years running and now just sits in his room saying everything is wrong with the world,(hurm, we know that) it is just so mad but good to off load. I really don't know how to help him. He says he is not depressed or anything but it is so aweful to see someone wasting their life like that and it makes things such a burden. He just has now interest in going out or any natural urges to get a girlfriend...or even a bloody boyfriend would be progress lol. Just don't get what is wrong with him, wasting his life in his bloody bedroom and snapping my head off:cry::cry::cry: If anyone can see the obvious answer please post whatever you say will be welcome the more to the point the better. This is not recent either, he has been in there for a year at least:cry::cry::cry: Oh someone help:cry:
 
Thanks DS but it is time for me to stop burying my head in sand and drink. He has to go tomorrow little shit, ashamed to say that about my only kid but hay ho, he has my blood and guts sure he will be ok even if we never speak again, oh phew tbh that would be a be relief with his viper tongue, stuff him I have done my bit. I feel better now, sorry this is a bit deep and odd, I am normal...really:giggle: Well you have to kick some arses....hard:giggle:
 
Sorry to write this lot on here but it helps me release stuff. I don't know anyone personally so its sort of remote which is good for me cos of the place I am in. Thanks to everyone on here for being horsey and mums and stuff, it is nice to know there are others. Loads of hassle atm but sure all will be fine love you all x
 
My brother sounds similiar...he is 32 and only just sorted his life out. Sat in his bedroom for years playing computer games though and smoking weed & various other drugs, when he came out he was "always" right, and if you didn't agree there would be arguments. My dad then decided to push him, and made and paid for his driving lessons, then paid for him to go to college as an adult, and pay for all his tools etc....My brother has finally left home, is a fully trained electrician and out being sociable and holidaying which is so nice to see. However with my brother I also do suspect some kind of mental health problem, some kind of paranoid schizophrenia which was drug induced over the years, and now has subsided due to stopping the drugs, maybe not the weed and some kind of depression thrown in for good measure.

I would push your son to act like a grown up, but would be worried also for his mental health so push slowly....good luck x
 
Hi i know i dont post much, so please do ignore me if i am on the wrong line and i dont want to cause offence and i really dont know the whole situation, but could it be that he is angry with you, so acts this way. You mention he has commentented on you being drunk and you do admit you do have a drink sometimes. which makes me think he is angry. just i went through a similar thing with my mum and its only now at 29, after alot of growing up on my part and alot of good friends to talk to, my mum and i have talked and we understand why we both behaved the way we did.
 
I have to say I would agree with allym - he sounds quite hurt/angry by your drinking. Perhaps he takes your drinking to mean that you need to block him out? It hurts when it feels like someone choses something else over you - he has probably asked about you stopping drinking, but perhaps you continued and he feels like he is inadequate - or perhaps because you stayed at home with him, that he drove you to drink? I know stopping drinking is hard, and this isn't a criticism on you - just a perspective from his view.

On the other hand, he does need to learn the value of money - who did he go away with? Fair enough perhaps pay for a family holiday but not for holidays with friends. If he has continuous handouts then he doesn't need to work.
 
I know conflict of any sort is unpleasant and within a family is absolutely awful so sorry you are going through it :-(
If he was a stroppy teenager I would say that maybe he is upset about your drinking but at 23, at home, spongeing off you, doing nothing to pay or work his way, and then giving you grief over something as small as cd's I would say he is probably part of the reason why you drink.
I spent 11 yrs with an emotionally abusive EX who believed he was 'entitled' i.e he should have everything he wants and everything his own way, the world owes him a living, its all everyone elses fault, people should fetch and carry for him, make excuses or put up with his faults etc.
I'm not saying that is the case with your son but I can see some similarities.
I know it will be hard but he really needs help to change himself before the habits are too ingrained.
Dark Storms suggestion about buying and cooking his own food, and doing own laundry are a good place to start, but with a time frame in place perhaps so he could have 3 months of that as practise, then he has to find himself a new place ?
To be brutally honest, everyday you don't do something about it you are telling him his behaviour is ok and he can carry on.
It sounds like you have suffered, made sacrifices, and done everything you can and you deserve better. Never forget that, by the way. The fact that you drink is a weakness and NOT something he should be taking advantage of.
Set him free to find his own way in the world and set yourself free too. Doesn't mean you stop loving him, its more a case of tough love for his own benefit, like putting him in for life saving surgery. You know he will suffer but his life will be better afterwards.
Sorry for the ramble, just trying to help xxx
 
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