Whats the point of owning a horse when you're young?

MrA

MrA

Well-Known Member
Feb 8, 2012
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I bought my first horse 3 years ago, to the exact day :) I love him to pieces and never want to sell him but he doesn't fit in with my life and causes me so much stress that I'm wondering if it would be easier too.

I bought him when I was 17. I've spent so much money on him and got basically no where. Although he trusts me now which I'm very proud of! But I struggle to make ends meet, havw to cycle 12miles a day to see him. In winter i have to get up at 5am every day. No one day the yard really talks to me. No one I know has any interest in them, my bf especially. Just thinking how much easier my life would be if I'd just kept having lessons. But I love him so much so don't want to sell, but im so unhappy and don't know what's for the beat.
 
I'll admit that I have days where I think how much money I would have if I didn't have my boy, but when I do have money all I really want to spend it on is him, even thought we don't need half the stuff we get.

When I was 16 I had my first pony on loan and paid for her myself by working weekend / evenings after school, I loved it. Back then my best friend had a pony on the same yard and we would hack out / explore together. Now that I am on a yard with only a few liveries and all into very different things (we get along great but do our own things) I will admit that hacking out isn't always as fun or exciting. I bought my horse as a spur of the moment thing and hadn't planned it at all, but I love him. And when I was younger I never knew what I wanted to do when I was older, or where I wanted to be but I always knew I wanted a horse. So I have had horses too since I was young :)

Now you are 17 you could learn to drive, or if expense doesn't allow why not a scooter? When I got spirit I had to get a scooter so I could manage to see him as there are no bus routes! (not much fun in winter but u have a warm exhaust to hug when u get there ! :redcarded:) If the expense is really hard and you struggle to go every day would you consider a sharer? If you advertised you may be able to find someone of your own age/ thereabouts who could share your horse and even be a horsey minded friend for you?

I guess you just have to decided what's most important to you and what you really want :) Plus, you can always talk to the Lovely Crazy New Rider bunch like I do when you want horsey friends :D
 
I can ďrive and own an old banger, just can't afford to run it at the moment, scooters scare me lol. I've thought about sharers but my horse is still very green and was abused so would need someone to spend a lot of time on him. I can't afford lessons so doesn't really feel like I'm getting anywhere with him
 
I don't know about your area but where I am there are often alot of students looking for share horses who have had alot of experience, I think you would just have to advertise for the right person, make sure you go up with them at first. you never know you might find someone who is able to help bring him on further. :) and tell me about the running costs of cars omg, mine has been in the garage 4 times this month! I am sure every time u put it in the break something else so u have to take it back again!!!
 
Thanks, I will try again. Advertised him twice a while ago and only got one unsuitable reply, must've worded it badly or something! lol. My cars last bill from the garage was £700! Made my vets bill look cheap
 
I don't mean this to sound harsh,but I don't think it's that you shouldn't own a horse,more that you own the wrong horse.

Would you feel as down about it of you had a horse that was established ridden wise and could do most things with,and was easy and straight forward so could have a sharer??

Buying and bringing on a difficult or young horse is very noble and rewarding experience under the right circumstances,but it is not ideal for everyone,or even most people TBH.

It sounds like you would be having much more fun and seeing the 'point' a lot more if you had something that could give you more back so to speak.

Seeking a change is not failure,and there is no shame is realising that a horse/owner partnership has gone as far as it can go.Think seriously about whether your choice of horse to own is the ultimate reason for your negative feelings and difficulties.

Of couse if I am way off the mark and you would feel the same no matter what horse you had then feel free to ignore,and maybe consider if you need a break from the repsonsibility for now until your circumstances are more horse friendly.

Good luck whatever you do (or don't do):smile:
 
You're probably very close to the truth! Ridden wise he is not bad, hacks out with my mum like a pro, but I take a long time to trust a horse out hacking, so would probably prefer something that had done more and he can tell this as he naps with me. School wise we have been working on our canter work and small jumps so again he's not totally green and I'm not really bothered about doing more than this atm. If I sold him there is no way I would buy another horse for the foreseeable future. But on the ground he is a totally different horse. I have put a lot of time in on that, but not always known what i was doing. But for example he used to not let you touch his head, now most days he opens his mouth for the bit and I can touch his face all over, play with his ears etc. He no longer bites, and very very rarely tanks while being led, he used to do this every day. I have loved working with all his issues and seeing the change in him, I don't regret getting him or think I made the wrong choice because of how far we have come on the ground together. But who wants to share a horse that trots wobbly and sometimes won't open his mouth for the bridle for a good 20mins, he always does this with new people.
 
It sounds like you would feel more relaxed with something that could give you confidence,but you own something that needs to take confidence from you?? Common problem and although I can say from experience it does get better,the ups and downs in the meantime can be quite dis-heartening.

I think you are wise to be thinking very carefully about sharing a horse that can be difficult on the ground.Could be opening yourself up to a whole world of trouble if you get the wrong person.

I have a saint to ride but rude on the ground welsh cob that I am advertsing for share and I have said in his ad that he can be a right git on the ground and made him sound worse than he is TBH,but I would rather do that than have the wrong person and he drags them off and injures them because they weren't confident or experienced enough to handle him.
I also intend to be there with them every time until I am happy they can manage him on the ground.

My saving grace is that my lad is bombproof to ride,so it is only the ground issues that I have to be selective about.I agree you are going to find it difficult to find someone for a difficult horse on the ground and that is green to ride like your lad.You are certainly going to find it difficult to ask much money for a share as really they would be helping you with his education and manners as much as you are helping them by providing the horse.

I had a sharer for my youngster who was shall we say 'not easy' (understatement lol),and worked great,but she was a over brave teenager who had no problem wth the ridden side,and my lad has manners to burn on the ground (took many months of work but we got there) so that wasn't an issue.There was no money involved as I looked at it that she was helping me out with his ridden work so was working both ways.

The point of my long winded waffle lol,is that it *is* possible to find help for not so easy horses but you may have to be prepared to wait for the right person and be flexible on issues like financial contribution.You may also have to hang around with them the first few weeks or even months until you are happy they can manage the horse safely.

It sounds like ultimately you need a different type of horse TBH,but if that isn't an option anway then you may as well stick with what you have and try and make the best of it (or sell,but I'm guessing that not an option you want to try just yet??).
Put up an ad but just be careful how you word it,and don't be afraid to be honest about what you are looking for and what the horse needs.More than perosn has said to me about my ad that what they liked about it was the amount of detail (yes I waffle on ads as well:tongue:),and the honesty,made them feel like they knew exactly what to expect.

You may not have loads of replies as I didn't for youngster (I did for cob but that's because he's a 15hh bombproof and safe cob to ride,what everyone wants it seems),but what replies you do get will hopefully be serious enquiries and suitable for your horse.
 
The 'point' of owning a horse at any age for most is to enjoy the relationship both ridden and on the ground with a amazing animal. I do not feel it is a young thing at all.

I have read plenty of posts on NR about people not having any one to ride with at their yard or having problems leading, riding etc that I am afraid is horses for you.

There are not that many true perfect horses/ponies most have and issue somewhere at some point and as an owner your role is to work through this.

To be honest it sounds like you brought the wrong horse and or over estimated your ridding/handling knowledge this is not me being unkind but what I pick up from your post.

As for the cost thing believe me and pretty much most NR's that have a family, house, car etc etc to run the horse on top is a privilege that most of us can't really afford or they are willing to go without in other areas of their life.

Personnel I don't really go out, I never buy myself nice clothes or get my hair done but Chanter has everything whether he needs it or not.

Some of the others have given some really good advise so I will not repeat what they have said just re enforce it.

I do hope you pass this down time.
 
Ale said:
he doesn't fit in with my life and causes me so much stress that I'm wondering if it would be easier too.
Click to expand...

I had ponies from age 9-18 or thereabouts. They were handed to be on a plate by my parents and I took them very much for granted. Don't get me wrong, I paid for everything, worked damn hard with two part time jobs while at school, but there were days I just couldn't be bothered with it - I was approaching that age where boys and mates became more interesting. The horses were a drain and I'm ashamed to have thought that way about them.

It was right to step away, even though I regret not knowing where my pony ended up after we sold him. Coming back to it, I'm 32, more responsible, settled (even though I'm still undecided career and lovelife wise), I am devoted to my horse and there isn't a day that goes by when I wouldn't want to spend time with him.....even despite his little foyballs. Horses are a way of life. Your statement about him not fitting into your life speaks volumes I'm afraid. Its like children......you don't have them to fit into your life. You fit your life around them because they are so important to you.
Time to rethink things I think.
 
hm, parents never got me my own horse, so I did lessons, shared, loaned, worked for rides ... went to uni ...didnt get my first own pony until i was in m mid-twenties and financially secure enough to do so. didnt have a car for years, but picked a yard I could get to on public transport without any major problems.

Ale, is there nowhere closer you could keep him? that's one hell of a bike ride, esp. if you're working as well! with the sharing ... im sure there are people out there who'd suit your horse, but they might be hard to find ...
 
Believe me, he is the most important part of my life. I believe we are getting there, slowly but surely, he is not too much for me, we are learning together.
If you think I don't sacrafice anything, well try cycling 12 miles after a nine hour shift at work and to top it off its pouring with rain :p I never go out or buy anything I dont need.

I'm just asking where you should draw the line, where I should look at myself and think this is insane. Because yes I love him and he is happy, but I am not. I have no friends left as they got bored of me, my family don't talk to me anymore, my boyfriend and I are struggling and I'm physically tired from cycling. Some days things with my horse are so great, but when its tough its tough. I don't really have any support from anyone either. Things would be so much easier without him, its just a question of if i would be happier or more unhappy.

The yards closer to me have no/ limited turnout and he would not be happy there.
 
It does sound like you are struggling and I couldn't do a 12 mile cycle trip everyday to see my beloveds :-(
At the end of the day having a horse should be enjoyable and fun, not such a struggle so mabe it is time to find him a new owner ?
People talk about selling as if it was a terrible crime but none of us on this forum would have our precious friends if someone hadn't sold them to us so there are def some lovely owners/homes out there.
Why don't you do it in stages ? Try drafting an advert (just for yourself) and see how that makes you feel ? If it is unbearable then that tells you something.
If it is bearable at all then use the advert and see who responds. You might find a wonderful owner and be happy, or decide at any time to pull him off the market.
Another option is long term loan (maybe near enough for you to check on him), and that way you lose the stress but know he will never end up with bad people.
You are very young still and could have a whole lifetime of enjoying horses ahead of you so it would be a pity to sour the experience for you by continuing down a road that is just not right at the moment.
Hope you sort things out and feel happier soon xxx
 
Personally, I never reached the stage financially or time wise to have a pony before I was into my 30s. It takes a lot of money and all my spare time if I'd done it earlier.

Love my 2 as I do, I wouldn't have wanted them as the only things in my life which would have been the case if I'd done it earlier.

I had a break from horses from my teens till my early 30s as that was right for me.
 
I've wanted a horse since I was 8 but didn't get a chance to when I was young. When I was 20 I left Europe and moved to the USA. I got a horse when I was 30 after I graduated from University. To be honest for me and my life it worked out much better at that age since before then I ahd so many changes and would have either give up the horse or stay put.
 
I completely understand where you are coming from.

I'm 24, have a full time job and live by myself. Having a horse and trying to juggle all that is difficult and physically draining. I currently have no life away from work and my horse. I'm constantly tired and stressed. My best friend moved away and we still keep in touch but I'd love to go visit her but I can't because of Rubic. All my friends near me have drifted away, think they got sick of me talking about my horse - but I have nothing else to talk about!!! I never get out anywhere to make new friends and as for boyfriends, well I think I repel them! I've decided that enough is enough and I need a bit of a break so I'm trying to get a sharer. I think you need to do the same. You'd probably find that even if someone helped you out a day or two a week then you'd have so time to recover and do other things an you might find then that when you are with your horse you'll enjoy it and see more of a point to it. It may be difficult but I'm sure there will be someone out there suitable.
 
When i owned horses when i was younger i was fearless and didn't let the strops bother me, i would get on and ride pratically anything.

Now i have children and responsibilities my priorities have changed, yes i still own horses but not so keen on getting on anything anymore and very cautious which has made my riding terrible.
 
Ale that 12 miles would kill me off. Any yards nearer with more young folkes?

The sharer idea is good as well, it could make you a friend and help in all sorts of ways.
 
Personally i think its time for a change - i don't mean selling, i mean move yards.

A change is always a good kick start, it made a huge difference to me and my confidence.

Move closer to home, making the cycle commute easier. You WILL feel less stressed/tired/stretched. You can always move back if it doesn't work.

So your mum rides him? you have someone there to support you, you are not alone. Just because your BF isn't interested doesn't mean you are alone.

Yes perhaps he isn't the ideal horse for you, but a lot of us own horses that aren't ideal, we work through issues and come out stronger at the other end (most of the time i would say).

I didn't get into horses until i was 21, so after uni, when i had a full time job and a house. My sister is now 18, she has had Major since being 12. But she has grown away from horses, so last summer we compromised, she loves him and wouldn't sell him, but she accepts she just isn't as horsey as me, I am VERY passionate about them. So we moved him 2.5 hours away from her to live with mine. Every 6 weeks she comes up for a weekend and you know what - its been the best thing ever, theres no grief between us, she knows i will care for him better than her. She gets the enjoyment of fun rides and good hacking, instead of the daily chores under pressure with school/work/mates etc

I envisage Major retiring with Rosie up here, My sister just isn't THAT horsey, i wonder if she will ever have another horse.

You don't sound like you want to sell up, i get the impression you are far more passionate about him than my sister is about Major. It sounds like you are in a rut and NEED a change. I would seriously consider moving yards or getting a sharer.
 
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