Very sad sale

B

Bazzie

New Member
Feb 26, 2007
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I've put my horse, Bazal up for sale yesterday. Can't see any alternative.
Really want to keep him, i think, but feel I am letting him down by not riding him properly anymore. I broke my back in Feb, and have tried SO hard to get back to normal, but I really can't seem to enjoy riding any more, even when it doesn't hurt so much I'm stiff and all one- sided, and i just feel sick. I know I'm not being fair to him and just think the best thing is to walk away... and let him go to a better home. He is being ridden by a girl on the yard, and I have to make it known well in advance when I want to ride, which I can't always do as I really have to psych myself up to ride at all. On Fri night I said to her that I would be riding Sat morning, and she said, OK, me too, but I'm riding early, so i'll ride him first. When I got there, she'd untacked him after her ride, and stood there saying Oh, poor Baz, while I tacked him up again. I just felt so guilty. I need someone to continue exercising him for me because he is getting fatter by the day.
Wish I could get the motivation and confidence back to enjoy him again.:confused:
 
Im so sorry to hear this - it must be heartbreaking for you.

Can you not put him out on loan? that way you can take a break for a year or so, recover from your injury and have him back to enjoy later? it will give you a break away from him to see if you want to carry on or if selling him is the right option, as opposed to getting rid of him because of your current feelings but wanting him back in 6 months?
 
Why not give your horse 3 months off work completely and just enjoy doing all the non ridden things with him? He doesn't care if he is ridden or not and although you need to keep his weight down there are other ways of doing it. You sound like a very caring owner and you obviously need time to get over your injury. Stop putting so much pressure on yourself and take some time off. If you still feel the same after 3 months then think about selling him then.
 
My first thought is who's horse is he? The girl riding him at the yard is doing it becuase you are letting her, she doesn't have the right to tell you (his owner!) what to do.
So I think you need to sit down and explain your circumstances, what the implications are, and tell her she can work around them or you will either find another rider or turn him away for a while. As already said, he will be fine being a paddock ornament for a little while.
Bearing in mind your personal circumstances, and if you warn her, then the Friday night conversation would be "I'll be riding Saturday morning, just ringing to tell you that you won't be able to ride until Sunday".
 
I really like Mary Poppins idea of giving both him and yourself a break for a few months. That will allow you to slowly get back into horses and hopefully, when you come to ride again you'll have renewed enthusiasm :D and when you do come to ride again, take things in baby steps. I had a massive confidence crisis a few years ago and had to go right back to little things like just going for a short hack (at wlak) without freaking out.

I also think this girl needs reminding that he's YOUR horse and you can damn well ride him whenever you like! YOU are doing HER a favour by allowing her to ride him, not vice versa.
 
Bazzie said:
He is being ridden by a girl on the yard, and I have to make it known well in advance when I want to ride, which I can't always do as I really have to psych myself up to ride at all. On Fri night I said to her that I would be riding Sat morning, and she said, OK, me too, but I'm riding early, so i'll ride him first. When I got there, she'd untacked him after her ride, and stood there saying Oh, poor Baz, while I tacked him up again.
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The cheeky cow ! Whose pony is he anyway? If you're in North Bucks (Aylesbury/MK area), I'll come and ride him for you, and put Miss Bossy's nose right out of joint !!! She and you need to bear in mind that you are doing her a favour by letting her ride him.

Seriously, I agree with Mary P. Turn him away for a few months, let him have some time playing in the paddock, and re-visit the situation in three or four months' time.
 
Sorry to hear about your situation, but I agree with the others, loan your horse for the time being or just turn him out (unless you are worried about his health as you mentioned him getting fat).

I am also very surprised by the behaviour this girl who is riding him is showing towards you! :eek: It is your horse, she should be greatful to be able to ride him instead of giving you timetables!! I think she needs to be reminded of her place, and if this sort of thing carries on, I'd be tempted to find someone else. I can undestand you need someone to excercise your horse, but they should show the proper respect in return!

Nina x
 
YES! If you don't want him to be ridden twice in one day, and you want to ride, then she DOESN'T! :D
But he would be fine having a rest for a while with you. Maybe you would feel happier and more relaxed if you could just go to the yard, bring him in for a groom and a fuss, or a nice bath on a hot day, and then put him out again.
 
Oh no Bazzie- poor you, if you can why don't you try and do what others have said and take a break from riding, you could longrein, take him for walks in hand and bond megastyle with him, you might want to come back to riding in time?

As you know I broke my back in Feb too, whilst jumping, and despite being an SJer to 1m20 the thought of jumping just makes me want to die- I love watching/instructing over fences but not actually doing it- now I quite fancy the idea of dressage which I've always hated!! :eek:

PM if you need a chat :)

Also, that girl sounds a nightmare- can you not beat her with a stick or something?! ;)
 
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I don't think you should sell cos you're so unsure. If you did it in a hurry due to pressure from girl and injury you prob find in couple months time everything will be different and you'd regret it.

I agree with everyone else about this girl, she certainly should not be deciding when you should or shouldn't ride in case it intefers with her plans!! Cheeky toerag!!!

Take control back, once you've done that you'll notice a change in her attutide and remind her that she's on to a good thing.

Good luck:)
 
Yes, well I did have a word with this girl's mum and said tactfully that now I'm beginning to ride a bit more then its getting a bit complicated, but she just said that you just let us know when you want to ride and we'll work round it. And, anyway, he needs the exercise so riding twice a day won't harm him.

It all sounded very reasonable at the time, as she's right, I can't exercise him enough, so I feel really selfish complaining. Thing is, I'm never sure when I may feel up to riding, so I don't want to make appointments:confused:

I like the bonding idea Sonnet. But at the moment I don't feel like he's my horse at all, but I can't see how i can tell this girl to get lost then not ride him myself, particularly as she's a great favourite of the YO!
 
Agree with the others really, this girl sounds like she's taking the mick a little.

Is there anyone else who could ride him for you, or are you able to lunge or long rein him in the mean time? I don't know what type/age your horse is, but if you don't think you're going to be comfortable riding for the time being, would he be suited to driving?
 
If you're looking for an excuse for nobody to ride him for a little while, how about "saddle is away to be adjusted" or something?? Hopefully she'll find something else to ride for a bit, and you and your horse can take a little break...
 
If it were me I would turn away for a while give yourself time to recover, i there any chance you could consider training your horse for another discipline that you can focus on while you recover and then ride when better? I have just come back after injury but broke my pony to drive meanwhile, as it caused me no pain to drive, would that be an option for you, it also keeps them very fit :)
 
I agree with everything said so far, the girl, im glad you've talked about it. I was shocked when I read your first post. When I had my clydesdale x Percheron on a full lease, the girl still called me everyday she was coming and said " can I ride Duke today, or did you want to?" (Mind you, the calls got annoying, but im glad she still made she I wasnt wanting to ride him)

and can't you free lunge him? practice joining up? or put him to pasture for a few months, while you let your back heal a bit longer, so that when you are ready, you can ride him again..

what are some other fun things to do....
You could mess around with his mane! come up with some new and intesting styles! :)
 
Thank you everyone, I knew you loverley lot would understand. You've given me the confidence to see its not just me:)
Also, realised that perhaps I'm not in the right state of mind to be making major decisions about selling my horse.

Decided I'm going to suggest to the girl and her mum that she just rides him on 2 particular days a week then I at least know he's mine for the other 5, whether I manage to ride or just having some messing about time. Don't know how I'm going to explain she can't ride him because he's having his mane plaited tho:D

Just texted YO to tell her, (as I say, she's good friends with this girl) and I think she must think I've finally lost it - one minute I tell her I'm selling him, the next that I want him back!:eek:

Lunging is a good idea too, like the idea of having a go at free lunging:)
 
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Oh, and Gruntfruttock, we are in the ayles/mk area and I'd be delighted for you to come and ride him. :D:D
 
ha, I thought free lunging would be nice, because then you dont have to worry about the line jerking you around if he pulls (Easier on the shoulders, not just your back ;) ) its also fun to let them run, buck, and blow off some steam (Usually a great time to have a camera!)
 
Echo all the good advice you've been given on here, I don't think you are in the right frame of mind to make such a big decision - it could end up with you making the wrong one. That girl needs telling some ground rules, like if you do tell her you're coming to ride then its not acceptable double booking the horse - nor is it acceptable tutting and saying poor horse! To be honest, I don't think horses mind whether they're ridden or not - keeping his weight down could be done by lunging? Just sounds to me like having this girl riding him is perhaps complicating things.
 
Bazzie said:
Decided I'm going to suggest to the girl and her mum that she just rides him on 2 particular days a week then I at least know he's mine for the other 5, whether I manage to ride or just having some messing about time. Don't know how I'm going to explain she can't ride him because he's having his mane plaited tho:D
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That sounds really good. I was going to suggest if you wanted the girl to keep riding you could always say if over the holidays you would prefer to swap a day or would really like to do an extra day just text me a couple of days before hand and I'll see whether it'd be possible, as you then have plenty of time to come up with an excuse to put her off/turn her down if you wanted or it didnt interfere with your plans it could work out well. You could always say as long as its in the afternoon or something if you still wanted to visit before/after she came.

I dont know :eek: - it depends on the girls attitude really but just an idea. :)
 
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