Very Sad ..... but not a pushy mum !!

T

tashford

New Member
Feb 13, 2008
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I have come to a sad decision, to get rid of trailer and not to go to any shows for a while ( or forseeable future ). My girls ( 7 and 9 yrs old ) both share a pony, and after a rocky start this year going to shows both did very well, both coming home with lots of rosettes and a few trophies, and they had a great time , or so I thought !! We havn't been to any shows for a few months as we had transport problems, anyway to try to make this story a bit shorter, transport is now fine, but after talking to my daughters and my husband last night about the next show coming up, was shocked to hear my girls say that actually they havn't missed going to shows at all and were happy to just ride and enjoy the pony ! I was gutted, I love going to shows with them. I started to say but what about this and what about that, when my husband stopped me and reminded me that the one thing that I have always had a huge problem with is pushy mums trying to relive their horsey youth through their kids. I was shocked and horrified to realise that this is exactly what I had become. SO, I shall go with the flow of what they are happy with, but I feel really sad as if their is a big gap now in our (my) lives !
Am I being silly ??
 
Your bound to feel a little sad over it,I never thought I was a pushy mum:eek: until my partner took me aside and said you do realise she is only playing the flute to keep you happy so I told her she could quit and she did but she was sooo good at it:rolleyes:who knows may be she will go back to playing it and maybe your daughters will ask to go to some shows a couple of months down the line sometimes it s nice just to sit back and enjoy what you have with out adding anything else to it.
 
Good for you stopping yourself being a pushy mum.

I would question selling your trailer at the moment, for the current financial market I don't think you will sell it well, and also, there is nothing to stop you taking the pony and trailer out for a nice hack/walk somewhere, and a picnic? Plus they might change there mind and then will have to find a trailer etc.
 
Yes your probably right, they are still very young and could go back to competing in the future. I will also get myself another horse in the future, but at the moment with having three kids working nearly full time and their pony I just havn't got the time (or money ) !!
 
I will definately want to compete again when the kids are older, but my feeling has always been, well I had it, now it's their turn, I just don't understand them not wanting the buzz of getting ready for the shows, the adrenaline flowing whilst waiting to go in the ring and the thrill of bringing the prizes home at the end of a very tireing day ! I know it's not for everyone though, so I'll just have to get over it.....
 
dont stop going!

thats what happened with me and my shetland when i was small.
But my mum showed him in hand instead of ridden with me coming along to watch.
Well done for not being a pushy mum though :)

when they are a bit older they probably will want to go to shows again,, but in the meantime i'd show him in hand and carry obn colecting the rosettes:)
It will grow on them again just wait and dont give up :)
....or get them into pony club!! thats fun and they also compete ...

X
 
Well our pony isn't really a show pony, and they are already in the pony club and havn't missed any of it rallies, shows anything. I think its the whole getting ready for the show / rally thing that they don't like, tack cleaning, shirt tie tail washing etc, all the things that I love ! I shall just wait til they are a bit older, if either or both of them want to go back to it then great, if not I shall get one of my own. The other problem is that my husband and my son arn't into ponies at all, so we are very divided. At least they are still wanting to keep riding, so I should count my blessings.
 
Well done for not being a pushy mum. My neice [14] rides and is quite good so my brother bought her a horse, she was happy just hacking and enjoying her horse but my brother pushed and pushed her to compete [which she did to quite a good standard] but her heart isnt in it, he has pushed her so much now that she doesnt want to ride anymore and is wanting to sell the horse. You cant force them if they dont want to do it.
 
That sounds very familiar, my brother has a little girl and she has got a pony but isn't really into it , but both mum and dad are ! His views on it are, its a family hobby, it's a healthy one instead of sitting on a playstation etc. I sort of agree with him, but can't be a hypercrite ! There is nothing worse at shows than screaming kids on ponies that really don't want to be there.
 
Well done you for not being pushy!! I've no kids but I can imagine if I did I'd want them to be able to experience shows etc if thats what they want - good for you anyway. You never know, they might want to take the showing up again in the future - something to look forwards to. Hope you get time to get your own horse eventually, you must miss it like mad!
 
Possibly, I think there could be a few options open to us, but I think I will wait for those magic words " mum, please can we go to " and if they don't come, then it will be, "bye, Mum's off to a show for the day " !!
 
The pony isn't really a show pony. Plus what would I do with the kids ? They just don't wanna go ! It is very cold at the moment, perhaps next year when it's a bit nicer their interest may return .
 
Well done for not being a pushy mum! :) I used to be horrified to see the PC mums ar rallies/shows yelling at their kids to grow up and win! Mine just used to hold my pone while I got on and wish me luck!

I wouldn't sell your trailer just yet! Financial market isn't good and you never know they might change their minds come spring! Be glad that they're enjoying their pony and learning about the responsibilities of looking after an animal - that's something to be proud of surely :)

Oh and when you DO get your own horse again, we want pics :) xx
 
Yes, I'm sure your right. I am very proud of them, they are really good kids and they treat that pony like a king !
 
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