Time

[carthorse]

Yes it's copied from facebook, I'm not this eloquent, but the sentiment is something I wholeheartedly agree with and experience has proven. So if you'll excuse a copy and paste from This Cob Can:

The good ones take time.
Watch quietly from the sidelines as those who try to shortcut with bridles, bits and gadgets become unstuck at the first sign of a challenge.
Get used to sitting with your head in your hands having to take deep breaths or halting in the middle of the arena to stare at the ceiling for fear that frustration will take the reins and undo everything you’ve worked on.
Allow him to question, allow him to protest. You have to be in this together, it has to be a partnership not a dictatorship so he has to know that he has a say and that you are listening. Mutual understanding and respect should be the foundations on which you build.
Be prepared to taste your arena surface.
Don’t allow others to convince you a “more experienced” jumper would suit you better or “he might never come right”. Trust your gut. You saw something in him, so work you ass off to prove it.
Don’t succumb to the pressure to “teach him whose boss”. When the clock is ticking, and the stride just isn’t there you have to trust each other, that isn’t going to come from force.
Give this horse your heart, I’m not saying he won’t break it because he will, but when the day comes that he accepts you into his, he really will go to the ends of the earth for you. But until then, have tissues and a playlist of sad songs at the ready.
And just when you think you can’t take one more ride, when you feel like you’ve given every part of yourself to this and you can’t physically, mentally or emotionally manage anymore. Keep going. Nobody said this was going to be easy...but it might just be worth it, because the most valuable thing you can give a horse is time...
...and the good ones take time.

I'm sure I'm not the only one reading this nodding my head and biting my lip.

 

[MrC]

I agree! This is why I like working with youngsters it is both rewarding and humbling. There are days when you could burst with pride and then there are days where you feel like banging your head against the wall. There are plenty of times I’ve just unclipped the lunge line or stripped the tack in the middle of an arena and went and sat down.

 

[newforest]

I have literally just read a novel about time.
Man alone measures time. We have a schedule, a calender, a clock, the horse does not.
I agree with the partnership aspect and not dictating just because they are a horse and I say they should do xyz.

I take my time, I always have done. There is no rush and things will fall into place.
Moving her to a new yard after ten years I expected us to "need time" to fully settle. We needed the first year, the second year we see the same things but differently.
She's grown up and matured and I am doing things that made me feel sick at the thought initially!

 

[Bodshi]

This is very pertinent to my situation at the moment! Having patience with a very impatient and cross baby horse is not as easy as I thought. I just have to think of him as a tantruming toddler and have a sense of humour about it. I really hope that time will make it better. I'll let you know in about 5 years

 

[carthorse]

Patience sounds like such an easy option, doesn't it? Until you realise that what you thought was patience is only the tip of the iceberg! And the self control needed! I swear there were times when "and breeeeathe!" became my mantra - still is some days.

 

[newforest]

I can recall the days when I just took her back to the field and let her go.
There is always tomorrow.
She's always pleased to see me, most of the time, there are days when she's clearly not and chores are more attractive!

@Bodshi I actually felt I started I to enjoy her around five. The hardwork was worth it.
I started her around four and getting to that point I was ultra careful I dotted the I and crossed the T prepared her, because she's got a strong mindset!!!

 

[Bodshi]

I can recall the days when I just took her back to the field and let her go.
There is always tomorrow.
She's always pleased to see me, most of the time, there are days when she's clearly not and chores are more attractive!

@Bodshi I actually felt I started I to enjoy her around five. The hardwork was worth it.
I started her around four and getting to that point I was ultra careful I dotted the I and crossed the T prepared her, because she's got a strong mindset!!!

I have seen the photographic evidence of Tilley having a 'strong mindset'! One of her on the lunge having a strop and looking like she wants to kill the human springs immediately to mind