Teaching children swear words???

Mary Poppins

Mary Poppins

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Oct 10, 2004
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The other morning I was walking my children to school, and as we reached the playground an older boy (about 10) shouted F*** you to another child in the playground. At the time I ignored it but in the evening I talked to my 6 year old about what had happened. I asked him if he had heard what the boy had said, and he said that he hadn't. I explained that there are a number of words called swear words that are very naughty to say and very offensive to hear, and if these words were repeated in the playground the child who said the word would have to see the headteacher.

My son is pretty mature for his age, and he asked me to explain to him what the swear words are. He said that he wanted to know what they were so that he knew that if he heard other children hear them then he would not repeat them. He is very studious at school and hates being told off. He is worried that he will repeat a word from another child that he is not allowed to say and that he will get told off.

Has anyone else actually taught their children swear words? Is 6 years old too young for this? We have a very open relationship and I would rather that he heard them from me rather than his friends. But is 6 too young for this?
 
I think he sounds mature enough to know what they are.

I remember hearing kids in my class say rude words (maybe not quite the same level as the f word) when I was about 5/6. I didn't know what they meant but assumed since they were saying it then it must be ok for me to say. My grandpa did not appreciate it in the slightest - he was very close to washing my mouth out with soap and water. It would have been much better for me to have heard from someone that the word was rude before I'd heard it in the school playground.

You know your son best - I always think it is better to be open and honest about things like that.
 
I don't know how to deal with this but just had to say it is sad that you need to educate your child in this. I was brought up in a family where no one ever swore and I still feel guilty today if I even mutter something under my breath!!!
 
eml said:
I don't know how to deal with this but just had to say it is sad that you need to educate your child in this. I was brought up in a family where no one ever swore and I still feel guilty today if I even mutter something under my breath!!!
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We are the same. We never swear my our house I take great pride in making sure my children are polite. My son won't even use the word 'fat' to describe anything big. We say 'round' instead and if I ever say that Ben is fat, he tells me off and says that I am using a nasty word. We don't use the word 'stupid' either for the same reason.

Some of the other mothers in the playground think nothing of F'ing every other word and I'm sure that he is going to pick this up soon. I feel like I have a duty to educate him on the things that I don't want him to do, as well as the things that I do. At least that way he can make his own choices and I will know that he really does know the difference between right and wrong.
 
I swore when I was about 6,mums friend had been doing some building work at our house and was well known for swearing,i had got in the car with her and dad,sitting in the back seat and apparently just came out with daddy f*****g b*****d mum and dad chose to ignore me at the time as not to make a big deal,I didn't use the words again.turns out said friend had been swearing while doing work as builders sometimes do,I had heard and copied,I don't know any parents that teach these words but I do know parents that use all the words in earshot of children and kids been kids they copy,it is very sad to have to have these conversations with such young children but more sad that they seem too ow how and when to use them more and more,I know I've been sitting untie bus stop at school time and some of the things you hear for the age of the children is scary,is it a sign of our times and how things have changed so much?
Your little boy sounds very mature and adorable might I add and I think you handled it brilliantly and so did he :)
 
Esme knows what our household rules are and that our rules may not be the same as everyone else's and that this is ok and normal.

I personally feel its important that she is equipped to deal with the real world, and have the confidence to be different, rather than being shielded and protected from it. So yes she will be told that words aren't appropriate for a child to say, or that not all topics can be discussed with anyone. She also knows she can ask me anything and get a decent answer rather than being fobbed off.
 
I think in order to be able to avoid the words, they have to know what they are surely? Otherwise thats a very unfair rule!

I would have no problem discussing the words with a 6 year old. I work with adults with learning disabilities and we have had very long discussions about swear words, including what they mean and thoroughly pinged open the whole can of worms that led to!!!!!! :tongue:

My son came home from PRE SCHOOL aged 3 saying the f word! I wasnt a very happy bunny! We do swear as a family but i dont like it (even though I do it occasionally). I forget myself sometimes and can slip the odd bloody in inappropriately :redface:

When my nephew was little, his mum told him that 'bungalow' was a swaer word - she later caught him sitting in the corner whispering bungalow, bungalow to himself!!! I think he was just sounding it out - its quite a nice word to say!
 
My friend Carol's little boy Archie is nearly 8. She has had long conversations with him about rude words, describing an ascending order of rudeness, so that he knows how rude others are being. He knows what he may and may not say at home. I think this is very sensible!
 
I think kids pick up the words very quickly from school but it a question of knowing how to use them.

I think your own family ethics are important. Kids get to know what is right or wrong from their parents, family and peers imo.

We don't swear much in our family, in my parents day and as children it was totally taboo. I wouldn't so much have even though of swearing at home, Yikes.

Sometimes I swear like a trooper, always have done, but in the right place, at the right time. It is so much more satisfying that way.
 
Perhaps they should teach Anglo Saxon at school?

My brother lives in the USA and is forever using "shoot" as a swear word - it annoys the "shoot" out of me!
 
I never taught mine anything. Nor my grand children. The language and accent children pick up has to fit the social environment in which they are at school -
Children who have been in nursery from a young age and then into a local primary school are adept at socialising and surviving in a peer group.
Adult in put is not so relevant.
 
Skib said:
I never taught mine anything. Nor my grand children. The language and accent children pick up has to fit the social environment in which they are at school -
Children who have been in nursery from a young age and then into a local primary school are adept at socialising and surviving in a peer group.
Adult in put is not so relevant.
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I aggree with this. So long as kids know when and where to use approproate language, that's what's iimportant.
 
I was brought up not to swear.. trouble is, you can't help who you mix with when you start working.. I went to work in a factory and worked with some right colourful characters.. I'm ashamed to say it's become part of my language :frown:
I can control it, and watch what I say in front of my elders, but how can something be controlled, when it appears everyone around you is doing it and they think it's normal? Acceptable? :unsure:
 
Wally said:
I aggree with this. So long as kids know when and where to use approproate language, that's what's iimportant.
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Exactly, which is why I feel it so important instead to concentrate on context and behaviour.

Children have to learn to be adaptable, we can't shape their world forever and the more we protect them, the more out of place they'll be in reality.

I really hate some of the things my father and step mum do and say around my daughter but its important for her to understand why I feel differently so that she can follow house rules for wherever she is.
 
I really do try not to use offensive language epecially in front of the Grandchildren, fortunately they are educated in what is acceptable and what is not - so much so in that if I do lapse I get tod to "put it in my pocket" and when mum collects them I get reported :redface:

As my daughter reminds me I should practise what I preach - that me told, obviously I got something right bringing them up.
 
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