Tally update - many tears shed, am up for worst owner award.... warning, V long !

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PatchyPony

Guest
I posted on Monday saying how rubbish I felt as Tally wouldnt catch and Id left her out. Finally convinced myself Id have a better day on tuesday..... afterall, having spent the night out she'd be desperate to see me right? I didnt post yesterday as I was too upset....

Tuesday dawned and went and bought a gorgeous sheepskin lined numnah and new brushing boots for madam, and went off to the yard.

Went into the field to poo pick first and made no attmept to catch or approach her even. I was really disheartened as she stood and glowered at me the whole time. I then came back with a bucket and spent over an hour attempting to get her.... eventually I did, but believe me if looks could kill!!

Once I got her in she just wasnt right...... wouldnt stand, more bargy than ever before, couldnt even groom her. She tried to bite my face and eventually with her swinging her bum round all the time I felt so unsafe I had to get out of the stable :( Not once did she put her ears forward the whole time I was getting 'evils' :( I gave up any ideas I had of riding, so decided I must do 'something' with her and took her into the school with the intention of doing some ground work and lunging. The school is nice and safe, all enclosed,big tall fence and secure. She went straight into a fast trot and to be honest i cant even really remember exactly what happened.... except she ended up getting away from me and barging at the gate. 5ft solid wooden gate.:eek: And then she just took a step back and JUMPED!:eek:` It wasnt clean... she got stuck half way over and ended up sort of dragging/hanging from a back leg!! She got hreself free and how I managed to catch her i dont know. The next 1/2 hour is a blur. I was terified she had hurt herself but she wouldnt let me check - there was nothing obvious though. I managed to get her rug on and turn her out again. Then just stood and cried like a right wally in the field :( :eek:

I came home at an all time low. Any bond I thought i was getting/had with her had gone...... all her trust in me had gone.... believe me, I couldnt have felt any worse. And I know - I probably did everything wrong and I probably caused it all and I let that happen to her - she could have broken a leg . I felt so low I put her up for sale. I thought a more experienced home is what she needs... and she doesnt want me near her.

I hardly slept last night.... YO checked her this morning and she is sound, thank God. then the phone calls started this morning about her and thats when it hit me. Thats MY girlie, my princess...... NO ONE elses and I love her and I couldnt bear listening the voicemails asking about her:eek:

So I did some soul searching. I know nothing of her background, but we have ascertained she is a very stressed and probabaly rough handled/beaten wee mare who hasnt known love and consistency - everything was going fine really til i moved yards 3 weeks ago..... and the weekend i moved yards I had to leave tally on full livery as i was away at a family 'do'. When I came back she didnt want to know me i couldnt catch her. Since then , coupled with the stress of moving, she's been more argumentative, bargy and STRESSED! Ive had different advice from every angle and then we had that horrible hack where in her head I led her into a pack of wolves and bailed out the side door leaving her to be chased!! So is it understandable she has lost trust in me? I think maybe it is! Also Ive been inconsistent in my approach and have got scared of her being argumnetative and probably reacted not calmly enough to put her in her place without scaring her.:eek:

My YO is going to lunge her for me tomorrow and I have my RI coming on Fri so that is something,,,,,,,,,


Today after work I went to her field with a bucket and stood in the dark and pouring rain and didnt say a word. ................ she came over and ate as I held the bucket. She let me touch her all over..... and she let me rub her face, and put my arms round her neck and kiss her cheek........ and im embarrassed to say I stood in the field and cried again! But for different reasons this time.... I walked away and left her and she followed me to the gate and watched me with her ears forward. That has given me all the motivation I needed to pull myself together and stop being a silly c**:p I love my ponio:eek:

If anyone actually reads all this well done! Its helped just to get it all off my chest!
 
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domane

Gracie's mum
Jul 31, 2005
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Awww.... *sniff* I have a bit of a tear in my own eye :eek:

Firstly I'm glad she is unscathed from her hop over the gate - it sure sounds like she can jump though... perhaps not five feet though, eh?

I'm also sooooo glad you have revised your decision to sell her. Tally has had an awful lot of change in a short space of time and when you list it like you did, it's easy to see why she may be feeling a tad unsettled and ansty.

My recommendation would be to back off from the riding for a couple of weeks. Concentrate on groundwork, rebuilding trust, walks out in hand and lots of cuddles, grooming and wuffles. Get to know her all over again from the ground and then progress from there....

Hugs xx
 

monique

New Member
Jan 17, 2006
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Well I read it all and I am send you a big hug not going to give you any advice as such other than take a deep breath let it out and relax also stop beating your self up, things will get better!
 

diplomaticandtactful

Well-Known Member
Apr 25, 2003
12,676
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Tally sounds very like Rosie when i first got her, hostile, hated people, dangerous, would charge you in the field, knock you over, proper cow - now a well mannered kindish cob who is generally a pleasure mainly to work with

we found that NH games worked with her to get her ground manners reliable - she wouldn't even lead, wouldn't leave the yard, used to hit you with her head etc - and also worked for riding.

it built up her trust in me and allowed me to be her leader, she is now a very good girl mainly. if your instructor uses some of these games, it does get through to them, rosie is a bright cookie.
 

Palomino Mare

New Member
Jan 22, 2007
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its possible she's taken an adversion to the new yard but she also could just be more settled now - i've bought 4 horses and every one of them has been fine for the first few months and then something big like this has knocked me off.

i have suffered with not being able to catch, rearing, bucking, barging, not being able to tack up and i'm still here to tell the story so please - dont beat yourself up about it - you could be me;):)
 
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Pink's lady

Guest
Don't give up on her - the lovely little horse you had the first couple of weeks is the really Tally - you just have to find her again.

You said she lives on her own? That is horiffically stressful for most horses - at best they learn to cope. It will take a couple of weeks of being lonely and stressed every night with no friends for it to build up. Brodie was made to live on is own for a bit (not my choice!) and seemed ok for a couple of weeks before becoming a horrible grumpy bad-tempered nasty sod.:( He was moved back to live with company and within a week was back to his normal self.

echo others on doing ground work. Right now she needs a strong, respected and trusted leader to follow - with a bit of work you can become that leader.
 

cramarion

New Member
Sep 20, 2007
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stockport/tameside
tally update

hi i am new on here but have been in the background and reading all the ups and downs of everyone on here
all i can say is keep your chin up and every one on here seems to be so helpful if i was nearer to you i would come and give you some moral support sometimes that gets you through the low times
 
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PatchyPony

Guest
thanks for all the support - it really does help... even just the virtual {{hugs}}

P.Mare -she is in her own paddock, but has a gelding either side of her that she talks to over the fence, stands with and grooms.
 

Fizz

New Member
Aug 28, 2004
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hope you can get through to her, had the same thing with fizz, she takes a step back sometimes but thats to be expected xxxxx
 

pedilia

New Member
Apr 24, 2005
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I really admire you for the sheer determination you have shown with Tally, it can't have been easy but you have persevered. You should be immensely proud of yourself:D:D

She will come round, make sure you post regular updates as I love following your story, good luck:)
 
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Pink's lady

Guest
she is in her own paddock, but has a gelding either side of her that she talks to over the fence, stands with and grooms.

That often isn't enough for many horses - it's a bit like humans being allowed to talk to prisionors throught a glass window.

That would be the very first thing I changed, then have a look at her feeding (again;)). After that it's starting to do lots of ground work with her. it may be worth giving her the winter off riding and spending it working on her manners. You could try getting an RA or similar out, or have a look at books like Kelly Mark's Perfect Manners.
 

carthorse

Super Moderator
Staff member
Jan 6, 2006
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Today after work I went to her field with a bucket and stood in the dark and pouring rain and didnt say a word. ................ she came over and ate as I held the bucket. She let me touch her all over..... and she let me rub her face, and put my arms round her neck and kiss her cheek........ and im embarrassed to say I stood in the field and cried again! But for different reasons this time.... I walked away and left her and she followed me to the gate and watched me with her ears forward. That has given me all the motivation I needed to pull myself together and stop being a silly c**:p I love my ponio:eek:
QUOTE]

I think you've got your answer here. Take the pressure off you both & just spend some time with her - no targets, no feeling that you ought to do things just enjoy being together. You've got all the time in the world to do things when you know each other better & trust will grow out of friendship. Jim's breeder gave me one invaluable piece of advice when I bought him & that was "be his friend" - it sounds silly but I swear at times it's the only reason I can ride & handle him.

I do feel Pink's lady has a good point abput the company. I know from experience that for some horses company over a fence just isn't enough & if she isn't relaxed in the field this will have a knock on effect with everything else. Please don't assume that just because she isn't running around & screaming she'd settled & relaxed.

Good luck, I think you've hit on the answer to the problem yourself & if you follow your instincts you won't go far wrong.
 
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PatchyPony

Guest
thanks for all the kind words:eek: I cant really do anything about her field situation, as the other 2 liveries are happy with individual turnout. Im hoping she will be less stressed now she isnt being brought in at nights by herself.

Only other option would be to get something small on loan as a companion................................ oohhh cogs turning!!!!:D Any suggestions?
 
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Pink's lady

Guest
I'm afraid that would be my number one priority. Can you not move somewhere where she'll have company? Have you tried talking with the other livereries about sharing a field? - if you said that poor Tally isn't coping on her own they might be willing to share. You could always mention how cruel it is (and possibly now illegal with the new SSPCA laws) it is to keep such a social species on their own;). Or maybe not:eek:

Or you could get a small pony for company............:p It would be easier for you to get an non-shetland, non-welsh-A type as otherwise you spend your entire time worrying about lamintis. Something with the same grazing requirements as Tally is essential! Maybe a retired elderly PC pony or similar.
 

chev

Moderator
May 7, 2002
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right here, right now
That was such a lovely post to read at the end. Well done... and I'm not surprised you cried in her mane!

Echo PL about the company though; I've known horses very happy and relaxed on their own, and others who absolutely had to have company in the field with them else they got stressed.

Sounds like things are beginning to go in the right direction with Tally - hope things keep on going that way :)
 

Anro

Boo!
Jan 4, 2007
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It would be easier for you to get an non-shetland, non-welsh-A type as otherwise you spend your entire time worrying about lamintis.

Ive had an obese shetland for 3 years and he has never gotten laminitis and we had a welsh-A for about 11 years(obese for about 7)didnt get laminitis either so:p :rolleyes:

swiftly
It sounds like she has alot of "off" days maybe try carrot stretches or games(as someone else said)
Good luck sounds like you really really really really really really really really really love her
 

marsden

Odin Is Worth The Wait
Dec 20, 2003
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Don't give up Swiftly your doing a grand job with her! she's a very lucky girlie having a mummy like you! :D
 
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