Spoke to Tangos owner this morning :-(

ladywiththebaby

ladywiththebaby

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Mar 6, 2007
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After getting myself in a complate tizz about what to feed Tango I decided I needed to call his old owner. I just don't know some of the answers to the questions I need like whether he's a good do-er, keeps condition easily etc etc. So I called the manager of the RS who I'd dealt with when buying Tango. She'd told me when I bought him to call if I ever needed anything. So I called, and also thought I might mention the stumbling too, just to see if she could throw any light on that.

So, she told me that he was fed Hi Fi Original and Pegasus nuts. (Might post in Metabolic section about that in a mo). Anyway, she asked how he was getting on and I said really good and in an off the cuff way mentioned that he stumbles a fair bit but I wasn't sure if that was how I was riding him (I didn't want her to think I was accusing her of anything). She was surprised but said that he is quite a long horse (he is, but no idea what thats got to do with anything?) and that I shouldn't let him slop along with a long rein. Keep a contact and make him work into it. Ok fair enough. I've got a McTimoney person coming Friday for a general MOT anyway.

Anyway I mentioned how I was still getting my confidence and hadn't been brave enough to canter him or do much faster work in company. I think I said something like "it's silly really. I mean, he's not going to take off or overtake or anything silly is he?" and she replied saying "you just need to take a check as you set off to say 'stay with me'" and went on to say that he's fine in a snaffle for schooling but goes in a gag or pelham for hacking!!!! :eek: :cry:

I really didn't want a horse who needed more than a snaffle. Maybe that's not realistic but I didn't. They did mention to me that they put him in something a bit stronger when they went to the beach but I kind of thought that was understandable. She went on to say that he'd be fine in a snaffle out hacking with a confident rider but they put him in a gag or pelham for the novice or nervous riders.

I feel really rubbish about this and like he's not quite the horse I thought he was. Am I completely overreacting though? :help:
 
just stick to a handful of hifi and maybe some hi fibre cubes (i'd stay away from pegasus nuts, they're not that great to be honest but a lot of yards use them as a staple as they're cheap and get them in bulk) and a broadspec supp!

and don't listen to the lady saying 'dont let him slop about' - he's your horse now! you wanna let him slop about, you let him slop about :) if that's what makes you and him happy, so be it :)

and, has he ever tried to take off with you? really, don't worry :) i think you ARE overthinking it all :) as for gags and pelhams .... mine came to me in a gag - turns out she just needed her teeth fixed. she's been in a french link snaffle and no noseband ever since! why not ask a friend to canter him first if you're worried? if he really needs a different bit out hacking, so be it, its not the end of the world!

if you like him and want to keep him, you'll be fine :)

and does his past matter that much to you?? live in the moment, enjoy your pony :)

Julia
xx
 
Yes, you are :redcarded: Tango hasn't done anything wrong in all the time you've had him, has he? I know it's difficult but please, please try not to imagine problems that don't exist. Have you considered going on one of those confidence courses.... mebbe even taking Tango with you?
 
I think you need to sit down and think about all the rides you and tango have done so far and make your own Mind up about the bit - I have never read any of your posts and thought 'he needs to be in a stronger bit'. It doesn't really sound likes he's actually done anything wrong??

I think your trying to micro manage everything (I was the same with moet) and in all honesty it doesn't really sound like tango actually needs micro managing? Ok so sometimes he trots faster than u wish for - but it's not like he bolts off?

Sorry If my reply seems a bit harsh . I have been there before with moet and have come out the other side...I just learnt to trust her with riding as often as I could.
 
Yes you are!!! You've had a few canters on him and you've been safe and not vanished off into the sunset with no control. He has been excited, but very few horses aren't when cantering out
 
IMO you're being really to hard on yourself!!! Have some faith! He's been such a star so far, you have no reason to doubt him :) focus on dealing with the "now" not the "maybe"
 
domane said:
Yes, you are :redcarded: Tango hasn't done anything wrong in all the time you've had him, has he? I know it's difficult but please, please try not to imagine problems that don't exist. Have you considered going on one of those confidence courses.... mebbe even taking Tango with you?
Click to expand...

This!! I think you need to remember that he has stopped whenever you have asked him to hasn't he? even when he was going faster than you wanted to or planned to he still stopped? So if that's the case you are clearly the confident person the riding school would have sent out in snaffle! Even if you don't know it yet.. :happy:
 
Yes you are completely over reacting! What has he actually done with you in the time you have had him? He has done the little spook, but he hasn't taken off and he hasnt' scared you.

It is fairly common for riders to 'bit up'. Baileys owner for example insists on putting a gag on him for jumping and has now given up jumping completely. He does not need a gag, he goes perfectly well in a snaffle and I have never found him strong in the slighest. Different people ride horses in different ways and have different expectations of behaviour. Maybe Tango has got excited on fast rides out with the riding school in the past, but there is hardly a horse alive you wouldn't get excited in certain situations.
 
about the 'micromanaging' - when I first got Angel I was a bit like this, too (it's so easily done, especially when one is not all that brazen and wants to do everything right!) - with her previous owners tales of 'getting very strong sometimes' and 'has bolted back to the yard with chidren' still ringing in my ears :giggle: one day I decided 'BURGER THIS! she's not put a foot wrong since I had her, so I'm blo*y wel going to enjoy my pony now!' - and havent looked back since :) you'll be fine :)

x
 
Hasn't your friend cantered him out in a snaffle with no issue?

Thing is, it might be that being a safe reliable chap Tango got lots of less capable riders put on him and just to be on the safe side the RS put him in a stronger bit. If that makes sense?
 
This is said with love.....For heavens sake, woman, pull yourself together !!! :tongue:

You have a lovely, safe horse who is behaving beautifully and, if they say he has a stronger bit when out hacking with novice riders, and you have hacked him out perfectly in a snaffle, then he obviously sees you as 'His Rider', NOT a novice rider.
You are worrying excessively
You are micromanaging
You are expecting perfection from both him and you-you will both make mistakes and you will both learn from them.
You are wasting valuable time stressing and overthinking when you should be relaxing and enjoying yourselves.
You are making yourself miserable (and I'm sure Tango would love to have a happy relaxed partner on board)

You are a lovely person who deserves to be happy. You wouldn't let anyone talk to you the way you let you talk to yourself.
Don't be so hard on Tango or yourself.
Try not to evaluate either his or your performance over such short periods i.e 1 ride, or 1 day. I instead use larger piece of time i.e a week or a month.
Give yourself time and space.
Stop rushing towards goals, trying to prove something to yourself. Just amble, potter, mooch through your days together. Go VERY VERY slow, have faith in Tango, have faith in yourself and.........BREATHE !!!! :biggrin:
 
Perhaps he got a bit over-excited on RS hacks - out with his mates and a not-so-stable rider on board :running: - and they wanted more responsive brakes. But that was a different environment - he's yours now so you have the luxury of making your own mind up about what you need in his mouth to make your partnership work.

Now repeat after me: "in through the nose, out through the mouth" :giggle:
 
All I can say is, I am very glad she didn't tell you this before!

Absolutely NOTHING you have told us about Tango makes me think he needs a stronger bit than a snaffle (or even a headcollar). He is a lovely gentle well mannered horse with a bit of life in him, and that will keep you interested in him long, long after your nerves are a thing of the past.

Take the feeding stuff on board if you want: and don't worry about the bit! He has been a star with you, why would he change?

We all so want you to relax and enjoy him :wub:
 
You see this is why I'm so glad I know absolutely NOTHING about Rosie's history! :bounce:

As much as I would love to know, I'm glad I don't as I would probably hear scary things!

Just because he has been fed something in the past, doesn't mean he has to be fed like that this Winter. He is your horse now so do your own research into what you think would be suitable for him for the work he will be doing. Try not to over complicate things. The same goes for what bit you put him in. If he has behaved with you when out then why change?

Mostly, just relax and enjoy your horse. :smile:
 
:redface: Thank you guys for the virtual slap round the face with a wet fish:redface: I needed that! And I also wanted you to say that, so thank you! I was worried you might all recoil in horror and say "quick get a gag on that horse - you have just been lucky so far!"

You are right - and I did tell myself this earlier but hearing it from other people always has a better effect on me! I told myself that I have cantered and even accidentally galloped and been ok. BUt the negative part of me adds in "...so far". But I am going to try and stop worrying and get on with riding and enjoying myself.

I have tried many different confidence courses but have yet to find one thats done much for me sadly. It's coz I'm just beyond help maybe?! :wink: But actually, doing one WITH Tango would be a great idea. I know fth does one in Milton Keynes but thats a 2 hr journey so I think its too far (plus I have no transport!)

Lot - yes my friend has cantered him ok but not in company. He is much more a kick on and not at all strong when he's on his own. I might get her to try it in company and see how he goes (although - what am I saying? I've done it twice and survived!) Urgh my warped brain! :redface:
 
Joy was a bit excitable on hacks when I got her but she was used in a riding school and not used to hacking.

Now she's a hacking horse and variety and interesting hacks are her job and don't blow her mind.
 
Echo what everyone else has said really, you have done so much with Tango already and you're still here to tell the tale! :bounce:

I wouldn't get too fixated on what bits he's been used in either, *IF* he did need something slightly "stronger" than what you're currently riding in is that such a bad thing?! As long as you have a happy, comfortable and responsive horse what does it matter? If a gag was called a snaffle you wouldn't be worrying so much :wink:
 
I'm with LauraGeeGee, this is why I'm glad I didn't know anything about my horse when I got him...but then not knowing didn't help either - I went through four bits before I found one that helped so guess it doesn't matter either way. (but my boy is stronger than anyone can imagine so wasn't unexpected tbh)

Its like going out with a new bloke when you've had countless failed relationships. You analyse every tiny little detail wondering if its a sign of a bigger problem - does he brush his teeth with his left hand? Well that must mean he has a wondering eye. Does he use the odd swear word when he's had a few? Well he must get into brawl fights every time he goes out alone with the guys. Does he wear french knickers.....?:unsure::help: Run for the hills now.
It'll take time for you to get to know him and hoping that nothing ever goes wrong is just unrealistic. I felt so much better after I'd had my first spook with Flip when I stayed on. I realised that riding with the constant hope that something wouldn't happen (and constantly fearing my luck would run out) did nothing for my confidence. What did help was having a few blips and getting through them in one piece. Thats when you realise that what you were fearing isn't all that bad and you can cope . Where's your balls mrs? Come on, man up....put some boxers on.:wink:
 
Well just to tell you a little story that would hopefully help make you feel a bit better. When I first got my horse she was in a dutch gag for hacking. She was strong and a bit of a nightmare at times. I would often have failing breaks in a dutch gag out hacking and quite frankly I was scared to hack out with anyone except for one lady who had a sensible older horse. Do you want to know what the problem was? It wasn't that she was a nutter but rather it was the bit and lack of schooling. When I started having flat work lessons my instructor made me switch to a french-link snaffle. It wasn't long before I felt confident to hack out in the snaffle bit. One day my hacking buddy wanted to go galloping in the stubble field. I nervously agreed and guess what... I had no problem stopping at all. It wasn't until then that I realised she really objected to the strong bit!
 
ditto what everyone else has said, inc. Martini.

When we bought my sons pony, I was alarmed to see a photo of him huntertrialing in a gag, flash and martingale; and the rider was older/stronger than my son :eek:
However, I don't 'do' excess ive tack unless there is no other option, so we started in a lozenge snaffle. Great brakes! We added a drop noseband for hunting last year, but doubt we'll need even that this year :) He also carries himself in a better shape now!

I can't fathom why they would have needed anything stronger, though when I asked, they did say it was just in case:unsure: maybe it was they needed the extra tack as a confidence booster, rather than to actually stop him?
 
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