sorry - really need to have a ramble to try and stop myself crying...

ILurfSmurf

ILurfSmurf

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Nov 27, 2006
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arghhhh :(


i cant ride for 3 months because of my knee
my horse has some kind of random lump growing on his side that i'm really worried about
my 2 best friends are on the other side of the world and i miss them so much, just spoke to them and now i miss them even more.
the guy i was sort of seeing is now having a strop despie being horsey about the fact that i've had to cancel seeing him on monday as i have the vet coming to see murph and now wont answer any of my calls/messages etc
i feel really useless for not being able to do anything with my horse and having to put him on full livery
i feel cheated out of my teenage years as my knee has been causing me issues for so long and i have to analyse EVERYTHING i do/wear eg shoes to check it wont cripple me anymore than life in general does.
i feel like i'm wasting moo because he's in his prime and i keep having to cancel stuff because i'm in too much pain to do it
i miss all the small things with murph that i took for granted eg jumping on bareback and riding to/from the field.

All i want to do right now is have some big cuddles with my best friends, take moo for a long gallop on my own, and then come back for some cuddles and i cant have either - and the only other person who could comfort me (this guy) wont even speak to me....

sorry for the ramble and i know there are otehrs worse off and that i sound like a brat etc, but i just needed to get this off my chest and i know people probably wont even reply or read it but i dont really care :(
 
Oops ...Another one of us having a bad day then...Shall we start a club??! :twins::twins::twins:

Sorry you're feeling so bad right now but if you're having a knee op that should make so much difference if you can get over the next 3 months. It's not for ever so chin up and think of all the stuff you'll be able to do after! (if you do your physio :tongue:)
 
laceyfreckle said:
Oops ...Another one of us having a bad day then...Shall we start a club??! :twins::twins::twins:

Sorry you're feeling so bad right now but if you're having a knee op that should make so much difference if you can get over the next 3 months. It's not for ever so chin up and think of all the stuff you'll be able to do after! (if you do your physio :tongue:)
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thanks hun

they dont know what they're going to do with my knee

its cause me hassle for over 8 years now, and they've now said 'rest it and give it 3 months and we'll see how we go'
i could understand if it was a new injury but its not got better in 8 years a few months is unlikely to work wonders really now is it!

I was trying to be really positive earlier, putting a positive spin on all the extra grooming time etc, and planing what i'll do when i can ride again, but the truth is i'm merely hoping if i say it enough i may start to believe it and its not working - i'm so used to doing so much and its killing me not to be able to i feel useless, and nobody know when i'll be able to ride him again at all, as nobody knows whats wrong! :(
 
ILurfSmurf said:
thanks hun

they dont know what they're going to do with my knee

its cause me hassle for over 8 years now, and they've now said 'rest it and give it 3 months and we'll see how we go'
i could understand if it was a new injury but its not got better in 8 years a few months is unlikely to work wonders really now is it!

I was trying to be really positive earlier, putting a positive spin on all the extra grooming time etc, and planing what i'll do when i can ride again, but the truth is i'm merely hoping if i say it enough i may start to believe it and its not working - i'm so used to doing so much and its killing me not to be able to i feel useless, and nobody know when i'll be able to ride him again at all, as nobody knows whats wrong! :(
Click to expand...

From what i do know about the nhs..is if you keep on at them they will keep looking into things, but you DO have to nag. Sometimes you might feel like you're going insane but it is worth doing for something that is affecting you so much.

Think forwards and think maybe you'll be the one to prove the medical proffession wrong!! That you will be able to do things again, soon.

Out of interest have they x-rayed it or checked for signs of arthiritis? Do you get any other joint pain?

Have they given you any painkillers for it?

On a bright side...you now know what a horse feels like when on box rest :tongue: (sorry, couldn't help that rather tasteless joke:giggle:)
 
laceyfreckle said:
From what i do know about the nhs..is if you keep on at them they will keep looking into things, but you DO have to nag. Sometimes you might feel like you're going insane but it is worth doing for something that is affecting you so much.

Think forwards and think maybe you'll be the one to prove the medical proffession wrong!! That you will be able to do things again, soon.

Out of interest have they x-rayed it or checked for signs of arthiritis? Do you get any other joint pain?

Have they given you any painkillers for it?

On a bright side...you now know what a horse feels like when on box rest :tongue: (sorry, couldn't help that rather tasteless joke:giggle:)
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using our private healthcare...
alas i'm not the one to prove them wrong, but the one to baffle them all....

eventually got my Dr to refer me to a surgeon, who instantly sent me for an MRI the next day, although he was sure it would just be chronic ligament strain from riding... got the MRI done and it showed the ligaments are fine, but i have cartilage damage and internal bruising, however what is showing isnt enough to cause me as much pain as it has, suggesting the bruising is a sign of something going wrong causing the bruising. So if it doesnt fix itself by october then it'll be explorative surgery, to work out whats going wrong...

they've done x rays and its not bone, and def not arthritis or anything :/

and yes i'm often referring to myself as being on box rest :p
 
ILurfSmurf said:
using our private healthcare...
alas i'm not the one to prove them wrong, but the one to baffle them all....

eventually got my Dr to refer me to a surgeon, who instantly sent me for an MRI the next day, although he was sure it would just be chronic ligament strain from riding... got the MRI done and it showed the ligaments are fine, but i have cartilage damage and internal bruising, however what is showing isnt enough to cause me as much pain as it has, suggesting the bruising is a sign of something going wrong causing the bruising. So if it doesnt fix itself by october then it'll be explorative surgery, to work out whats going wrong...

they've done x rays and its not bone, and def not arthritis or anything :/

and yes i'm often referring to myself as being on box rest :p
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well, the only thing I can say is that at least in october the wheels might be put in motion to see if anything else can be found. Being private does mean you don't have the stupidly long waiting lists between decisions and things being put into action.

I know that doesn't help you much now hun but at least they are trying to think of answers, sometimes it's hard but there is lots to know about in medical research that there is very little knowledge of. I do think it's a good thing that doctors are always learning though and do actually say when they don't know what is wrong.

Maybe tick each week off on a calender? That's what I'm doing with the six weeks holidays :smug: (5 kids home in a small house is not particularly fun)
 
Knee pain sucks because it effects everything else. The twelve weeks pass really quickly though, I think I have 3 weeks to go (chronic tendonosis for me). I have been learning groundwork as the walking around doesn't hurt that much instead of riding.

What about a sharer who can exercise your boy?
 
Ack, that's all pants, hun... BIG hugs xxxx

OK, you can't ride for 3 months but I would do exactly what the docs tell you and rest your knee as much as you can. You know that internally everything is fundamentally still in the right place so it does sound like you need to go as easy on it as possible. It won't hurt like it does right now forever and the more you keep off it, the quicker it will heal so grit your teeth and attack your R&R time positively.

What does the vet say about the lump on Murphy? If he HAD to get one, at least it's at the time you can't ride him - imagine how frustrating it would be for him to develop just as you are going to whack that saddle back on him? I had Roo barefoot for 11 months and couldn't ride him for 7 of those because his hooves just weren't strong enough so we did lots of bonding on the ground.

Your friends will be back in time, I'm sure. And if they're not, cherish the happy memories you have. Friends come and go in life, but the true ones remain there regardless of where they are in the world.

Your boyf sounds a bit of a nob, to be honest. If he's horsey anyway then he should understand more than anyone!

That's a LOT of things to cope with right now... no wonder you are feeling a bit pants.

xxx
 
Huge hugs xx Hope Smurf is fine, sure he will be :)

As for the knee, rest it as told, if no better at least you are private and they will get you sorted. Even if your knee is completely shot there is so much that can be done nowadays, a friend of mine had her knee cap replaced, similar to a hip replacement. She is fine now :)
 
Poor you, am so sorry. But at least you are both out of action together and hope they get knee sorted out really soon. B/F will sort himself out after a bit of a sulk - men are like that, so caught up in themselves they seldom realise what you need. Chin up
 
Lots and lots of healing and sympathy vibes coming your way. Hope it passes quickly for you. Not a lot I can say to make you feel better, but if it helps, hope you feel like you can have a rant / moan on here anytime (we will always listen!!!).
 
thanks guys - i feel a little bit better today :)

my friends come back in less than 72 hours ( :spin: ) and apparently have bought me presents to cheer me up :)

my knee isnt QUITE so sore today all though is major achey
trying to ignore the lump on moo until the vet comes as i cant do anything before then anyway

and thinking today, i'm now not even sure if i want anything to do with this guy anymore, like others have said - he really should understand more than anyone, and even non horsey ex's showed concern if i had to cancel plans for the vet to come out - nothing from him. think the text went something along the lines of 'hey babes, really sorry to do this to you, but i'm not gonna be able to come up to yours, because moopony needs the vet out and he can only do monday, and there shall be lots of waiting around so wont be able to make it to yours and back. Really sorry hun but we will deff rearrange. xxxx'

his reply?! 'hi, yeah ok thats fine. see u soon.' i dont even think he actually knows whats wrong with him yet!
After posting this last night i did get an msn message saying 'hey you ok?' when i said no not really he asked i told him, so i explained (minus the 'oh and you're being a complete nob to top it all off') and he didnt really have a huge amount to say, it sorta struck me as a 'i dont really care but i feel obliged to comfort you now i've asked'. I know he has his own issues but i always make a point of trying to help him....

spoke to YM who's riding moo, and she said when i get back from my holiday provided all is well with the lump we'll get a gang of people to help me on/off and they'll take me for a bareback plod on my pony :)
 
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