Sometimes I just get fed up of being the odd one out, nutter!!!

annareeves0

annareeves0

Active Member
Dec 18, 2007
3,301
13
38
55
Bournemouth, Dorset
As most of you know I was still very novice when I got Rosie so didnt have much riding knowledge or experience, didnt ride for all that time and then found Parelli which I followed dilligently on the first couple of levels re groundwork but have been a bit hit and miss when it comes to the ridden stuff :rolleyes: I never bothered with technique as whatever kept my confidence was the important bit. We did what worked for us in a vague kind of parelli type way with some other stuff I picked up/made up along the way! I suspect I made quite a lot of it up!

Consequently we ride Anna and Rosie style :D The basic aids are the same mostly, but generally we rely on a lot of telepathy, nudges and 'not that way you daft animal', 'what the hell are you doing now', woo hoo lets go, oh look theres a 3 inch gap in the heather lets call it a path etc etc. Very loose reins the majority of the time, if Rosie wants her head she gets it, if she wont canter I am learning to not push her because there is always a reason and when I 'make' her I end up falling off, likewise if she wont go over a mud puddle we walk around as I figure she's a better judge of depth and stickiness than me, we are bitless so no contact (and I dont understand what its all about anyway) no 'collection' (no idea what thats about either) and none of the stuff that lots of other riders seem to stress about seems to have any relevance to us at all!

In the greater scheme of things, and the bit that i hold onto is that it works for us and for what we do. I trust Rosie to find her own way in my choice of general direction, to do her best not to unseat me or lose me, to try hard for me (and she always does) and generally when she says 'no way Jose' I beleive her and we try and work out a way around it. I also beleive she trusts me to look after her, make good decisions, get us home again and feed her :D When we are out hacking, just Rosie and I in the middle of nowhere, we are a proper pair, looking out for each other, trekking over rough terrain, exploring and muddling through. Its great, Im very happy with our relationship and I know that this should be sufficient.

BUT... i am really keen to expand our horizons, try new things etc etc and actually would quite like regular lessons. But most of them are organised by traditionalists and I feel like a bit of a numpty :eek: I dont know what they are talking about, dont want to micro manage my horse, dont want to use a crop to make her do stuff and yet because all this stuff is constantly going on around me, I often feel pressured or pressure myself into doing it that way. And yet I want to do all the stuff they are organising :rolleyes:

This has all come to a head around 2 incidents;
  1. we couldnt canter - Id ask, she'd trot faster and faster, Id get annoyed and frustrated. 98% of the time there was a reason she wouldnt canter - lots i suspect about my balance and the fact legs say go, hands say whoa, or there would be something up ahead that I hadnt seen yet but she had - often she'd refuse to canter and then 10 secs later theres a dog walker etc. Instead of trusting her i bought a crop :( becuase thats what you do apparently, if they wont go give em a tap. She bucked actually but after a few times cantered much better. However I have since fallen off twice as she spooked cos I made her and then there was something ahead. Its really hard when 999 other people are saying, its fine, you're not hurting her, just give her a tap and teach her some manners and theres only 1 other person saying, no it doesnt have to be like that. I keep turning to the dark side .....
  2. we went to a trec training session with a very tradtional dressage trainer - it was good experience and Rosie was great, we went over the tarp first time etc etc. I didnt canter as we are still not very balanced or practised and I wasnt ready for an audience but she kept talking about all this stuff and I was lost - shes saying 'get a contact as if you were hacking' Well I look down at our droopy reins and am thinking 'why on earth would you want contact for hacking?' and saying stuff like 'hold her with your legs to slow her down' why was she going to fall over if I didnt hold her up, hold to slow - how does that work surely pressure = go???? I didnt know what she was on about, it didnt make sense to me and I think thatwe are so far removed from traditional riding that I wouldnt want an instructor that taught that way anyway!

I guess the main part of my whinge is that I wish there was someone who could teach me to ride a bit closer that blooming Oxford! Cathy is great but its a long way and a lot of money for her to come down. I really wish i could just phone someone up and say Im struggling with x/y/z can you come and give us half an hours instruction.

I know that what Rosie and I do is right for us and I go to sleep every night with a clear conscience (apart from the dark side incidents :eek:) but I just wish i didnt feel like other riders 'looked down' on us. I just want to be able to go to events and training etc and have fun and have a go without feeling like an idiot but still keeping our relationship intact. I know no-one said it was easy, but bloody hell!!!!
 
Haha we are the same AR0 :) When all we do is pootle about to please ourselves, I dont see a need for "hard work"... We do need a little more manners (get rid of napping), but otherwise I always ride on a loose rein, lots of vocal and little interfering.

That said we need help to break the napping. But, she ignores a whip, she ignores being booted, she ignores being hauled about... The only ways around it are leading from her or someone on foot to drag her along... LOL.

I think personally that you have a better style than a lot of riders - because like you say, its what works for you rather than what everyone else does - which isnt a cirticism on traditional riding - but when you have had to work through so much stuff like you have with Rosie, you really learn about your horse.

Perhaps just try phoning a couple of local instructors and explaining... their reaction will guide you in to their suitability - they dont need to be NH or traditional - just open minded - at the end of the day you are the paying customer. I would probaly make some goals of what you want lessons for, what issues you want to focus on.
 
Any half decent instructor should be able to take this on board and help you. I'm with PFB on this one, phone around and see what you come up with.

I've spent most of my riding life being very traditional with my horses. Arnie put the cat among the pidgeons with that so we are now pretty much like you. I'm well past caring what folk think now. If they cant help me, its their issue not mine.

You and Rosie have come such a long way. There are more folks out there just like you than there used to be. Dont let this get you down.
xx
 
OK so you dont ride the traditional way, no one says to have to as long as both you and your horse understand each other and you are both happy that way. You will always come across criticism no matter how good a rider you are, that's horsey people for you. Like PFB says try and find an instructor who is willing to listen to what you want to achieve and who is able to explain things a little easier and not so technical, you may even find that it works for you both. Good luck in your endeavours, you sound like a fun person.
 
Traditional??

Alfie and I arent traditional either, we do it "our style", I have a 9m foal too and he is being trained by using a bit of this, a pinch of that and a spoonful of the other, by using what we were given inside, gut instinct. Trust your instincts for you and Rosie and dont let anyone tel you different. All you need to do is get the balance, and it WILL come with time and you are away.

Alfie bucks if I (occasionaly) use a whip and to be frank, I dont blame him, I usually use either my own version of a whip whop (curtain tie back £1.99 tesco) and usually hit myself harder than anything, when I am getting him to move forwards - but I often go out without anything. It is all an issue of trust. All this comes with time and allowing yourself to "be" whatever you are. Whatever you are is right for you and don't let anyone tell you different.

Agree with all the others - ring round, and ask for WOM recommendations for someone to work with you, or ask an experienced friend - even if they aren't qualified, they might be able to watch and tell you how to get to the next step.

I was talking to another NR member recently and she does her own thing too, so be reassured you aren't the only one!! Just remember this is about enjoyment and you must only pay someone to help you if you and Rosie are getting something out of it. They MUST do what you ask, that is why you are paying them.

it is really easy to let a few comments get you down, but that is just a bad day, tomorrow will be better!
 
Thanks guys. Am just frustrated at wanting to go out and play with the other kids but they're saying I'm smelly and can't be in their gang!

I'm a bit ashamed of myself for using the crop - all this time I have never carried anything but use rope reins so can wip wop with them in the once in a blue moon time she needs pushing on. I do feel if she is point blank refusing there must be good reason - it's only ever been over deep mud or into canter and I have caught myself lifting my hands and effectively pulling back as I ask - and it's HER that gets hit with the crop!!!

I generally don't care what people think but when it's just me on my own, out of my comfort zone, in a new environment, it's hard to continue bucking the trend (apologies these horse related cliches just keep coming).

I did have a more experienced friend come and watch us canter just to check I wasnt doing anything bizarre (I wasnt) and we even ended up doing some jumping as thats her thing and I was feeling brazen! That has been helpful. I am going to some on line parelli playdays soon - wont help with my riding but may be able to make some new horsey friends that will appreciate our technique ;)
 
Last edited:
I think you should consider giving Sarah Simmons a call if you would like help from a more local trainer. She lives in our neck of the woods and goes out to people for lessons and advice.

Funnily enough have just mentioned her in a post about the Mendip Stud where she also does some teaching.

Sarah is both BHS qualified and a top Western trainer and she is also an absolute marvel with regards to Parelli and very horse centred- so am thinking she could be right up your street?
 
Lovely thread, your description is pretty much what I do with my horses :D

I went to uni to train as an equine coach and really was the odd one out, people were marveled that I could ride with loose reins and the horse still went where I wanted it to! :rolleyes:

I don't take lessons anymore, my horse doesn't like schooling so I don't bother, it would be nice to have another pair of eyes on the ground but it seems to work for us.

I also hate it when people have strong contacts, especially in bitless bridles, it drove me mad when I was advertising for a sharer and everyone had a vice grip on the reins.

Have you looked into western training? I went for a western lesson for my b day a few years ago and it was all what I already do with my horses, turning and stopping from weight aids with minimal rein contact. :)
 
i think you should actually give yourself a pat on the back. think of the number of people who ride 'traditional' and can't hack out, are terrified, don't trust their horse. you seem to me to be a proper team and you trust your horse not to do the dirty on you and misbehave and she trusts you to keep her safe and be kind to her. don't see much wrong in that.

echo the others, finding the right instructor who fits you is the key thing - i had lessons one place and i went a couple of times and hated it, they demoralised me, then i got someone who came to our place and taught me and rosie together and that worked so well, i really enjoyed it.
 
Harry Chaim Faibish

stickiness than me, we are bitless so no contact (and I dont understand what its all about anyway) no 'collection' (no idea what thats about either) and none of the stuff that lots of other riders seem to stress about seems to have any relevance to us at all!

In the greater scheme of things, and the bit that i hold onto is that it works for us and for what we do. I trust Rosie to find her own way in my choice of general directio

BUT... i am really keen to expand our horizons, try new things etc etc and actually would quite like regular lessons. But most of them are organised by traditionalists and I feel like a bit of a numpty :eek: I dont know what they are talking about, dont want to micro manage my horse, dont want to use a crop to make her do stuff and yet because all this stuff is constantly going on around me, I often feel pressured or pressure myself into doing it that way. And yet I want to do all the stuff they are organising :rolleyes:

This has all come to a head around 2 incidents;
  1. we couldnt canter - Id ask, she'd trot faster and faster, Id get annoyed and frustrated. 98% of the time there was a reason she wouldnt canter - lots i suspect about my balance and the fact legs say go, hands say whoa, or there would be something up ahead that I hadnt seen yet but she had - often she'd refuse to canter and then 10 secs later theres a dog walker etc. Instead of trusting her i bought a crop :( becuase thats what you do apparently, if they wont go give em a tap. She bucked actually but after a few times cantered much better. However I have since fallen off twice as she spooked cos I made her and then there was something ahead. Its really hard when 999 other people are saying, its fine, you're not hurting her, just give her a tap and teach her some manners and theres only 1 other person saying, no it doesnt have to be like that. I keep turning to the dark side .....
  2. we went to a trec training session with a very tradtional dressage trainer - it was good experience and Rosie was great, we went over the tarp first time etc etc. I didnt canter as we are still not very balanced or practised and I wasnt ready for an audience but she kept talking about all this stuff and I was lost - shes saying 'get a contact as if you were hacking' Well I look down at our droopy reins and am thinking 'why on earth would you want contact for hacking?' and saying stuff like 'hold her with your legs to slow her down' why was she going to fall over if I didnt hold her up, hold to slow - how does that work surely pressure = go???? I didnt know what she was on about, it didnt make sense to me and I think thatwe are so far removed from traditional riding that I wouldnt want an instructor that taught that way anyway!

I guess the main part of my whinge is that I wish there was someone who could teach me to ride a bit closer that blooming Oxford! Cathy is great but its a long way and a lot of money for her to come down. I really wish i could just phone someone up and say Im struggling with x/y/z can you come and give us half an hours instruction.

I know that what Rosie and I do is right for us and I go to sleep every night with a clear conscience (apart from the dark side incidents :eek:) but I just wish i didnt feel like other riders 'looked down' on us. I just want to be able to go to events and training etc and have fun and have a go without feeling like an idiot but still keeping our relationship intact. I know no-one said it was easy, but bloody hell!!!![/QUOTE]
 
There are schools of instruction that might suit what you want:

I have used Centred Riding and Enlightened Equitation and love them both. Both approaches have as a basic assumption that horses are generous and willing and will do what you ask IF THEY ARE ABLE and IF THEY UNDERSTAND!

I hated my trad lessons. It was all pull this, kick that, fiddle with this. As you say: micro management. BUT I want to compete. I want to event. And so I need to ride 'properly' which is why I kept persevering with trying different instructors.

At first I saw the need to learn dressage etc as just a means to an end (competition). But what I've discovered through lessons is that schooling, dressage etc is ALL about communication, and being balanced so you can get out of your horses way and allow him to use himself properly. It was such an eye opener to realise just how many confusing signals I was giving poor old Charlie, every time I sat on him.

I found through lessons that he is the most wonderfully responsive horse. Move my hips forward slightly, he goes that way. Turn my head, he responds to the weight shift. Brace in trot/canter, he slows or stops. Sit relaxed and in rhythym with his movements and the trot flows. I have a loose contact or ride bitless, which is fine because I don't need the reins to stop, start or steer! And I never kick or hit him. If he slows down it's because I am inadvertently asking him to.

As regards collection, he is collected when he is balanced and rhythmical. Recently he has started to hold himself in at outline pretty much on his own, because he is using his body correctly and because I am not impeding him. (As much:rolleyes:)

Learning to communicate in the school has meant that I can more effectively communicate in the big wide world! So I think the lessons help all aspects of riding.

I guess this is a long winded way of saying that there are plenty of instructors who ride in a horse-centred way. Instinct, intuiton and trust are very important, but I actually need to also develop skills in communicating clearly with Charlie via hands, weight seat and legs. Without learning those skills I think I would have carried on being a very confusing passenger - and them getting frustrated with Cahrlie for not doing what I wanted!

It's the same logic as the groundwork. A horse can only do as you ask if he understands what you are asking. And that takes some specific skill/practice, I think. Good luck. :)
 
Krissie I said:
At first I saw the need to learn dressage etc as just a means to an end (competition). But what I've discovered through lessons is that schooling, dressage etc is ALL about communication, and being balanced so you can get out of your horses way and allow him to use himself properly. It was such an eye opener to realise just how many confusing signals I was giving poor old Charlie, every time I sat on him.
Click to expand...

I had the same experience when I returned to riding lessons after basically just hacking out for years. I learnt that so many of the problems that I had been having were due to my tense seat and my inflexible hands. My riding instructor really gave me the skills to communicate to my horse properly and the difference was amazing - especially when jumping. Previously the horse I used to ride used to stop ALL the time, but through the lessons I learnt that he was stopping because I was telling him to. When I learnt to give with my hands and not hold him back there was no stopping us - the difference was fantastic.

I think that you need to decide what your goals are and then find the right instructor to help you achieve them. As long and you and your horse are safe, there is no 'right' or 'wrong' ways to do things.
 
Mary Poppins said:
My riding instructor really gave me the skills to communicate to my horse properly and the difference was amazing - especially when jumping. .
Click to expand...

Yes I found that too. Once my horse was balanced and his canter was collected, it made a big difference to jumping. I used to do things totally backwards: go fast towards jumps, then slow down as I approached - I guess through nerves I was giving a 'hang on a minute are you sure about this' message. Now I approach the jump in a very slow calm canter and then say 'go' 3 strides out and his impulsion increases at the last minute. Has made jumping much safer and more reliable, and he is much more balanced and likely to go clear.
 
If you want to try EE, Lee Clatworthy is not far from you and would proberbly be able to come out.

Lee Clatworthy EET Level 1
Based in Hampshire and teaches at Tanglewood Equestrian Centre nr Winchester.

Mobile: 07890 213704
Email: lt_clatworthy@hotmail.com
www.tanglewoodequestriancentre.co.uk

There is also

June Simmonds EET (Level II), BHSAI who owns Fir Tree Farm Stables in Fordingbridge.

Tel: 01425 654744
Email: firtreefarm@btconnect.com
http://fir-tree-farm.org.uk

she also has a equisimulator to really give you a head start
http://www.equestrian-training.co.uk/equisimulator EE.htm

You are in a good part of the country for EE instructors if you wanted to give it a go :)

http://www.enlightenedequitation.com/teacher_findSELon.htm
 
highly highly highly highly highly highly highly recommend June Simmonds. I had a few lessons at her school about 2 years ago before I fell pregnant and my god the difference I noticed in my own horse when riding was amazing.

How you've described your 'Anna and Rosie' style is exactly how I am with my horse. I've just started riding again a little bit more and some of what I was taught with June is just starting to come back to me. As you have your own transport as well you might be able to find it a bit easier to have a lesson with her. She isnt cheap though :(

But I noticed a difference after just 2 lessons, I did have some on the simulator as well, I was so geared up after my own lesson on that, I went straight to the stables after that lesson on the simulator after she explained how I was rising to the trot wrong, and tried it out on my own horse.

His head didnt go straight up like it normally did, but became a lot more supple and he went softer. Weird as I never thought there would be a day when I would be able to talk like that, or understand when riders say that, but it clicked and the light bulb moment was so bright it was blinding.

Hmpf I really want to go back and have some more now with her, but need to ditch the weight to get back to her RS limit :eek:
 
Thanks for all the advice everyone and its nice to hear so many other people ride 'Anna and Rosie' style ;)

Ill have a look at all the instructors and maybe contact them and see how I feel about it all. I might just have some more sessions with Cathy but I dont think riding instructor is where she wants to be going. Some of the problem is that I am all over the place with what my actual goals are and until I am clear about them I can head towards them :eek: I guess I just felt at the training session, that I wanted to be really good at what we do. I dont want to ride like them but I do want people to think 'she's got a good seat' or 'her horse moves really well' etc. I guess I dont want to be embarrassed at my sloppiness :eek:

Perhaps it was just being in that environment as we did a long ride today and I did think, what am I worrying about - I had to correct her a couple of times when she went off the wrong way, but think I wasnt sitting straight :rolleyes: otherwise I just looked where I wanted to go and off we went. I think I am at the stage of not realising how much I do use my legs and hands as Im not really very concious of it - I just 'do' - thats what happens when you get some hours in ;). We did have a little canter on the stright today which was nice and smooth and I spent the whole time thinking 'plug in, hands down, heels down......' :D I just need to practise, practise, practise.

Really what I should do is watch my parelli levels but I have a little confession to make - I cant stay awake for them! I have a bit of a mental block - I have never been the same since i had a paul mckenna tape years ago - certain things just send me straight to sleep every time despite being keen to watch them - bizarrely the film 'a fish called wanda' has the same affect - I cant stay awake!!!!! :eek:
 
I really don't think it matters AT ALL what you look like! Chilli once posted a great photo of a world class dressage master riding with droopy reins, inviting people to 'criticise' his seat & hands! What matters (I think) is what your horse can feel when she's underneath you. If 'sloppy' means loose and relaxed with a loose contact, fine. If 'sloppy' means unbalanced, behind the horse's movement (ie she moves and you get left behind for a sec then have a bit of a lurch to 'catch up') then that's like caryying a badly packed and ill fitting rucksac - it's not nice for the horse.:rolleyes: So that in turn will restrict free movement as the horse compensates for the rider.

Focusing on how things look is what makes so many people saw at the horse's mouth to get them on the bit etc. Even at senior levels some riders school in hyperflexion so the horse 'looks good' in tests. I have absolutely NO time for that nonsense at all, so I would ignore other people and what they might think, and just focus on what you want to achieve.

As for goals, a simple one might be 'ride in a way that helps not hinders my horse'. Which you may well do already!:D Or you may feel you could improve on that. Telling an insructor that that is your goal should also help you find the right kind of instructor for you. Good luck:)
 
i havent read many of the replies, im sure everyones prob saying the same as im about to say but i just wanted to say = i am exactly the same as you!!

We ride Julie & Moet style. We ride in a general NH way which suits us down to the ground on hacks but lately i felt i wanted to be able to do more in the school now that we have one on the yard so i have recently started having a RI. I was terrified of finding the RI too traditional and too pushy so i put it off for months...my fears were totally disproved with this RI, she understands i feel differently about things and has happily kept us just in walk and small trots and just concentrates on teaching me to communicate better with my body. Its been the best thing ive done in a long time, im getting much more confident with Moet and shes learning from me! She was happy enough keeping moet bitless but i decided to give a bit a try again just for schooling...its a learning curve for both of us but its actually been a pretty positive move and its spiced us up a bit! lol!

Dont think you should do things one way or another....oh and dont worry about not understanding stuff...my RI asks me simple questions about which leg is responsible for what thing and i just say i havent got a clue and laugh! lol!

if you find the right instructor you will love having lessons!

good luck and keep us updated!
 
I think we already have a gang!!!

I am so relieved that I am not the only person who feels this way. I am a novice rider on a very very green pony....far from ideal I know :eek: however the story goes that she went away for two weeks to be backed by natural horsemanship yard, which was brilliant (except it took me forever to teach her to lunge without the security of the round pen:mad:). Anyway, as I said I am very very novice but mirrored the methods used during her training only to be asked 'why on earth was I flapping my legs and clicking and flapping that thing around (whipwop))' I explained that this was how we had been taught and that over time the movements wouldnt be so 'big' only to be told I was ridiculous!!!!:eek: Anyway, being a novice on an experience rather lonely yard I stopped riding, and my lovely mare became a field ornament!! Then one day I decided that this was rather ridiculous so started to go to yard when nobody else was around.....and lunge, longrein and attempt to ride. The problem there was that Cassie really needed somebody on the ground in the school to encourage her to move (only physical presence not whip). I them became frustrated and joined the 'darkside' and bought a riding crop:eek: Dont worry though my lovely Cassie soon told me that she didnt like it by planting her self and doing little bucks!!! That told me:)
Anyway, I really am getting to the point now, This evening I rode her in the school, another pony came into the school while I was in there which was fine, except she was doing beautifull 20m circles, trotting around which was very distracting to us but we carried on. I was very proud of her, her napping wasnt too bad and I left the school feeling really quite proud of ourselves.............only to be told by the lady in the school that 'I should try smiling when riding and sit up as looked really slouched over with flappy hands' :eek::mad:
I have promised myself that I am not going to stop riding or try to only ride when nobody else there...........i wasnt meaning to look grumpy I was concentrating, talking to my pony and totally focused on her.......(maybe I was a bit slouched though!!)
Anyway, Im not interested in pleasing the others as long as my pony and me are happy...we will get there (wherever that might be for us) eventually and although I clearly wasnt smiling on the outside I was on the inside!!!.....:)
 
newrider.com
Top Bottom
Back