Should I be cheeky?

Jessey

Well-Known Member
Dec 20, 2004
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Suffolk, UK
I don’t have any facilities, which generally doesn’t bother me but boy would it make first lessons easier with Niko (2yo welsh D x Arab for anyone who missed it). I’d give my right arm for use of a round pen. I don’t want to do a lot yet, maybe just tinker about but I think taking him out of the field away from Jess would be good for him too, as my yard area is in the field he’s not even taken out to be tied up and he’s a little bit like Velcro to her.

So the cheeky bit, my neighbours have a woodchip school at their house, I’m friendly with them but not hanging out together friends. They are just the nicest people and will in all likelihood say I can borrow their school, possibly even if they’d rather not lend it out, do I still ask?

I do have a plan with a local trainer to take Niko over for some ground work lessons in the spring and he has all the facilities, but it’s a 5 hour walk away because although I’ve got the trailer I’ve got no access to a tow vehicle at the moment. It’s no real loss if I don’t do anything with Niko until then but I don’t want him getting too clingy to Jess. I have been taking him out in hand once every 2-3 weeks already too.
 
I'd say there's no harm in asking as long as you're very careful how you phrase it and make it clear to them that you'll totally understand if the won't or can't (for example insurance may be an issue, or it may have had planning permission for purely private use).

At this stage some of the clinginess to Jess may be that he's still settling in and sees her as the herd leader and so the safest person to be around. He may well grow out of it - that said Welsh cobs can be needy individuals and you may find he transfers his need to be looked after from her to you. My first pony was a Welsh Arab and it wasn't until I got a Weslh D many years later that I realised so many of the traits we'd put down to the Arab side were definitely Welsh!
 
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I would ask too, can you offer them a small amount of money or some help with something in return?
 
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I would ask but as carthorse says phrase it so open ended and clearly no aggro if they say no. I have been asked for favours with my land etc and generally if i can i say yes, but my neighbour I now say no to as they take the mick. They asked to borrow a field as they had an old pony and the weather was awful and it is exposed on a hill. So i let them use it. they left it full of poo. So never again. One of their horses had to be pts and they asked if they could bury it in my field and again i said no as we have few places in our field that are suitable and i have enough of my own to make arrangements for at some time. Similarly they asked me to look after there horses when they had a major wedding, all i was supposed to do was go in and feed the one that is stabled. They didn't brief me, and left me a note asking me to turn them out do other stuff, the bloody horse barged out, knocked me over and got loose - they let them come down from the field solo even though there is no gate stopping them going onto the road! So now it is just a no as they take advantage. I don't mind helping out but i expect people to be fair.
 
You could ask and offer a contribution. Agree it might be planning on menage was only for personal use though. Id just carry on taking niko out like your doing. He will learn its his special time with you. Routine away from jess will be good for him.

I asked one of my neighbours recently and got, i'll speak to my other half. That was a no then. They done that before. Not been mentioned since and seen them several times since i asked. They seem a bit like that though. They use other peoples facilities, and wanted me to put my horses in the field near theres to keep theres calm when they sold one and the other stressed but they dont reciprocate.
 
At this stage some of the clinginess to Jess may be that he's still settling in and sees her as the herd leader and so the safest person to be around. He may well grow out of it - that said Welsh cobs can be needy individuals and you may find he transfers his need to be looked after from her to you. My first pony was a Welsh Arab and it wasn't until I got a Weslh D many years later that I realised so many of the traits we'd put down to the Arab side were definitely Welsh!
I’m sure it is a security thing and because she’s the boss, all 3 gravitate to her given the chance even if she is grumpy if they get too close ? he’s been really good going out and about, not nappy or spooky, and he will go off around the track without anyone else, it’s only really noticeable when something is out of his comfort zone that he beelines straight for her and that’s just babyness, I’d just like to make sure he has ample opportunity to continue to understand that leaving her is ok and he can deal with different things without her so it is a part of normal life, I just have to put a little more thought into it because of my set up.
 
As already said there could be private use only restrictions and even if they wouldn’t want payment in cash if they have anyone disagreeable nearby who sees you using it, it might cause bother. I had to be careful at our last place for that reason. However I don’t think there’s any harm in asking.
 
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