Shot myself in the foot????

Dizzy Woo

Dizzy Woo

Well-Known Member
Apr 20, 2008
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Dorset
So, OH is taking control of the finances, something I have done for several years quite happily.
OH asks me to write down how much ponios cost me a month (Before I knew he was talking over the budget) so I write a very conservative estimate, just itemising field rent £110pm), hay, feed, farrier and allowing £10 per month for vet (?!?), well proud of myself = £200 per month
BUT
that what he is now going to give me :frown: it leaves no spare for all those little extras you inevitabley need, fly spray, tail and mane, treats, new rugs and accessories. etc etc
He says he is being generous and its my choice how I spend the money and Im choosing horses but I dont know if I am going to be able to do it.
I have one riding pony and two field ornaments and usually good grazing with only haylege and hard feed needed for the winter.
Ive been so used to helping myslef to the 'pot' dont know how this is going to pan out.
Does this seem like an ample budget?
 
you have fixed costs and you have unexpected costs, so horses are difficult to budget for however you do it.

I think I would be re-negotiating the total....
 
I am afraid I would not be having anyone do that to me, but I earn my own money... do you both contribute to the 'pot'?

I know this will sound patronising as i am sure you are in a very happy secure relationship, but be careful about letting anyone else having full control of all the money, its a job that can be shared surely.

I think you should sit down and work out what you do need, and I always allow or a '£100' vet bill or contingency every month. That way you save it up if not used for the nice to haves and fly sprays etc.
 
3 horses on £200 a month, NO CHANCE! I'd be delighted if I could keep my one horse for that. You need to re-negotiate!
 
Atm our girls cost about £400 - but it's winter and they are eating hay during the day when in the arena - plus I have Danilon, Prascend and Devils Claw to shell out for.
 
I know yours are at home, but that does sound very low. I allow 300 a month for mine in my head, but actually I spend whatever it costs.

But we each have our own bankaccounts and pay into a joint account for household expenses, whats left is mine to do what I like with and I don't discuss what I spend it on. I can see this might be difficult if all the money goes in one account. What made him suddenly take over, if you dont mind me asking?
 
My husband took over the finances a couple of years back. I am glad to be rid of the bills but its a right pain having to ask him for money. I really miss dibbing into the pot for extras. It totally gets on my wick, I seem to have less and less to spend.

I do still have a roof over my head though...I used to tend to spend money on the horses and forget to pay the mortgage:frown::redface:
 
Tillytoo said:
I know yours are at home, but that does sound very low. I allow 300 a month for mine in my head, but actually I spend whatever it costs.

But we each have our own bankaccounts and pay into a joint account for household expenses, whats left is mine to do what I like with and I don't discuss what I spend it on. I can see this might be difficult if all the money goes in one account. What made him suddenly take over, if you dont mind me asking?
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We work together from home, and our wage goes into one account that happens to be in his name but he has not got a clue about online banking etc so I have always just got on with it. We are getting out of a huge debt to the IR that I negotiated but he beleives we are in the mess cos of me (I dont!) and I also think he has been having the biggest ever mid life crisis for well over a year now so is tryng to stamp his authority on something :frown:
 
I could never be in a situation where I had to ask my husband for money. That's not right. We have a joint account and everything we earn goes into it. We discuss and agree how we are going to spend our money. If he ever told me that I had a limit on what to spend on Ben, I could see some serious problems. Yes, he earns more than me but that doesn't mean that he has more say in our finances. I gave up my earning potential to have our 2 children and while I do still work I haven't followed the career path that he has been able to and I choose to work close to home so I am nearer the boys. We both agreed that I should have a horse, so he costs as much as he costs!
 
Not sure about your budget for the 3, but i can understand where your coming from, i think it would be a lot easier if my oh took control of the finances. Especially at the moment as things are tight, it would stop me spending on things that i dont really need and instead that money could go towards the bills at home etc that are necessary.

I do tell the odd white lie about how much things cost, it the nue schule bit i bought last year lol.
 
polly101 said:
Not sure about your budget for the 3, but i can understand where your coming from, i think it would be a lot easier if my oh took control of the finances. Especially at the moment as things are tight, it would stop me spending on things that i dont really need and instead that money could go towards the bills at home etc that are necessary.

I do tell the odd white lie about how much things cost, it the nue schule bit i bought last year lol.
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I'm not sure about my budget for three either, that's my problem!!!

MP it was OH who encouraged me to get horse(s) some years ago, but he has changed and now, probably cos of the mid life thingy feels threatened or jealous of the time I spend with them ( I don't think I spend enough time) so the control thing starts up for some weird reason :furious:
 
Gosh I remember a blip about 5 years ago when my hubby decided to get involved in the finances...it only lasted a few months luckily! But I remember him questioning about the horses costs etc, made me very uneasy!!

Well the rent for 3 is £280 per month so a £200 budget would be useless for me lol

I have no idea when my hubby last logged into our account, I don't think he has for years! I check it daily and also our credit card (we use the cc for everything and pay off in full at end of month). Basically if he wants anything expensive he checks we can afford it, and I buy whatever we need without checking with him. I suppose we do have a good amount of disposable income so things aren't tight. Though I move a lot into savings accounts so he can't see those balances!

Also I'm always really surprised to hear when married people have separate accounts - I think all the people I have met through baby groups seem to have separate accounts, I find that so odd, we are totally joint, he does now earn more than me but we put everything into the one pot.
 
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I was in a similar situation a few years ago.why cant you have your wage,his wage and split the bills and what is lwft of yours is yours and his is his or would this not work?
It sounds a tight budget for 3 i couldnt do it personally and i would be telling him you need more.
Agree with nat in please be carful,while i understand partnership i think some things like your money is just that,yours. Hope you get things sorted cant be an easy situation for you.
 
We have three accounts between us. Our own accounts where our wages go in, and a joint account where we put a lump amount in every week to pay for shopping, bills, etc.
My Oh is fully aware on how much I spend a week on Shadow and the guinea pigs, but never complains. He always says it's my money, i can do what I wish with it. If I get a large vet bill, he lets me use money out of the joint account, but I always put it back in, just not all at once.
That's where you could negotiate Dizzy Woo, you can always say you'll pay it back into the account, but at say so much a week if it's an emergency, for example vet bill?
 
Shared bank account....not a chance :giggle:

Me and OH like our own seperate accounts, we take turn paying bills or just divide the bills fairly....and then anything left in our accounts is ours to do what the hell we like with....he doesn't have to ask me and I don't have to ask him for treats....perfect :giggle:

As for the £200 for three horses....I wish LOL! :giggle:

My four cost between £500-600 PCM :cold: scary amount LOL! :redface:
 
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