New instructor has persuaded me for several perfectly sensible reasons that I should sell my current horse and buy another. He hasn't done anything wrong just too green and she has found him a wonderful home where he is currently on trial. BUT she keeps emailing me to say How wonderfully well he goes for Helen, How wonderfully he boxed for Helen, How wonderfully he jumped for Helen and how it was worth it all just to see the happy smile on her face etc.Its breaking my heart and I can't believe how insensitive and brain dead she is being!!! Do I want to come and visit him in Helens yard Short answer NO.I can go anytime I want, I know because Helen has told me herself.Just screaming really.
scream
- Thread starter Sumitra
- Start date
Ok i understand but maybe maybe she is just doing it to reassure you that all is going well as she would expect you to be worrying that he was settling, doing well - rather than as a comparison as to how he was with you.
She may seem insensitive to you, but perhaps she is doing it with the best of intentions i.e. to reaasure you that you are doing the right thing.
Often hard to get it right.
Be glad that he is doing well - after all that's the key issue isn't it.
She may seem insensitive to you, but perhaps she is doing it with the best of intentions i.e. to reaasure you that you are doing the right thing.
Often hard to get it right.
Be glad that he is doing well - after all that's the key issue isn't it.
Selling a horse can be a very difficult decision. Recently several members of this board were in that position and it was very sad.
One of the few things that can be consoling about situations like that is when a horse finds a better match in another rider. As you said: it's not the horse's fault you two weren't a good match.
It sounds like he has already found his.
It's time for you now to find yours!
If it is truly too painfaul for you to be around your instructor and hear about your horse, you may want to consider taking a break from her and taking lessons elsewhere for a while.
Or you could focus on your own future and ask her to help you shop for your next (hopefully better matched) horse. I think that would be the best solution. Are you already looking for your horse?
Either way: Good Luck. I have never been in your shoes but it sounds like it is pretty tough.
One of the few things that can be consoling about situations like that is when a horse finds a better match in another rider. As you said: it's not the horse's fault you two weren't a good match.
It sounds like he has already found his.
It's time for you now to find yours!
If it is truly too painfaul for you to be around your instructor and hear about your horse, you may want to consider taking a break from her and taking lessons elsewhere for a while.
Or you could focus on your own future and ask her to help you shop for your next (hopefully better matched) horse. I think that would be the best solution. Are you already looking for your horse?
Either way: Good Luck. I have never been in your shoes but it sounds like it is pretty tough.
I'd probably think down the same lines as big ears on this but i can fully understand your annoyance. I think it would gall most people as it dents your pride a little and hurts a little to hear how well someone is doing with your old horse when you yourself couldn't gel that well with him and also the fact that hes now gone . But at the end of the day he's moving forwards and like karin says it's time for you to breathe deep and be happy for him and his new owner (i realise it must have been horrible having to give him up, i'd be in pieces i must admit). I'd probably just say the the instructor that you'd like to move on and could you just drop the subject about it for a while to let you be able to move on. Time for closure i reckon. And onto looking for a new neddy who you can have brilliant times with as well Good luck and i hope you find a new ned who suits you perfectly.
. But at the end of the day he's moving forwards and like karin says it's time for you to breathe deep and be happy for him and his new owner (i realise it must have been horrible having to give him up, i'd be in pieces i must admit). I'd probably just say the the instructor that you'd like to move on and could you just drop the subject about it for a while to let you be able to move on. Time for closure i reckon. And onto looking for a new neddy who you can have brilliant times with as well Good luck and i hope you find a new ned who suits you perfectly.
Hi Sumitra
After I sold on my mare last year, I had the same. "She's fantastic, done, Pony Club Camp, working hunter, hunted, dressage lessons and shown, jumped " etc etc. She scared the living daylights out of me, and it's taken me a long time to get over that feeling that actually I am a rubbish rider. However, my lovely Sennie, bought in April has given me all my confidence back and is perfect for me. My mare was just with the wrong person, and I am really pleased she's now with the right owner, doing all she's capable of.
You will find your Sennie. He/she's out there somewhere. All the very best finding him/her
After I sold on my mare last year, I had the same. "She's fantastic, done, Pony Club Camp, working hunter, hunted, dressage lessons and shown, jumped " etc etc. She scared the living daylights out of me, and it's taken me a long time to get over that feeling that actually I am a rubbish rider. However, my lovely Sennie, bought in April has given me all my confidence back and is perfect for me. My mare was just with the wrong person, and I am really pleased she's now with the right owner, doing all she's capable of.
You will find your Sennie. He/she's out there somewhere.
All the very best finding him/her
Don't feel too down about this, I had a mare previously of whom I became terrified of, in the end I wouldn't ride her at all, I had no bond with this mare at all and although I didn't like her I wanted her to go to a nice home. It all turned out v well in the end I swapped my mare for a gelding cob - we are suited perfectly and he will things for me that he won't do for other people - we just get on very well, my mare is busy competing and generally roaring around the countryside with her new mum and they get on very well. I guess what I am trying to say is that horses like people aren't always suited, I don't think this is something you should take personally just know you weren't a good partnership and look forward to finding your perfect partner - he or she is out there somewhere!
I think it's really nice of her to give you updates. She could tell you cared about his well-being... and she thought you'd like to hear he is getting along nicely.
Don't take it personally. Not every horse is a perfect match for every person. He's in a good home, you're free to find a better match for you.... everyone is happy.
Don't take it personally. Not every horse is a perfect match for every person. He's in a good home, you're free to find a better match for you.... everyone is happy.
You are in a really difficult position. You have my sympathy. I nearly sold my pony after 2 months because i was convinced that we weren't suited. Other people at my yard could get him to behave & go well. However I am making progress with him now.
I know that awful feeling of ' oh, he's fine with so & so ' you must find it truly irritating. Try & move on. When you get a horse more suited to you it will be less stressful & lots more fun.
lots of luck rrx
I know that awful feeling of ' oh, he's fine with so & so ' you must find it truly irritating. Try & move on. When you get a horse more suited to you it will be less stressful & lots more fun.
lots of luck rrx
she might really just be trying to help by assuring you that your new horse is in a lovely new home. if the horse was not quite suitable for you, it was probably better to sell him and i admire your decision of actually going through with it! too many people are stuck with a horse that doesnt suit them 100% but are too chicken to sell it to someone who might cope better.
julia
x
julia
x
time to find yourself another adorable horsie to love.
the new people probably have there heart in the right place by keeping in contact with you, hard for you, but think if i brought someones horse i would give them the option for some up dates from time to time as their horse was probably part of their family. they probably think they are helping you, reassure you it has a loving home and they can cope with it so you dont have to worry x
the new people probably have there heart in the right place by keeping in contact with you, hard for you, but think if i brought someones horse i would give them the option for some up dates from time to time as their horse was probably part of their family. they probably think they are helping you, reassure you it has a loving home and they can cope with it so you dont have to worry x
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