Remembering old friends..

Ace87

Ace87

Quitus & Strike
Aug 8, 2007
6,076
0
36
Bedfordshire
Just curious,

Those of us who have had ponies/horses that have died, how do you remember them? I mean like do you have rituals on their anniversary or things you do?

I'm still finding it VERY difficult to cope with the loss of Cheyenne in october 2006 and am looking for some help!

Things I have done:

The day he was put to sleep I gathered some dung from his bed and planted a rose (variety - sweet memory) in a pot with the dung to fertilize it.

Have put everything relating to him in a pretty box - photos, shoes, plait of mane/tail competition numbers etc.

Made his prettiest rug into a throw for my bed.

Had my OH print me a canvas of Cheyenne and I competing.


But I still have issues with what to do with his tack, and most importantly I still have his ashes in the wooden box under my bed!

I think it's time to do something if anyone can help I'd be so grateful!
 
Obviously on the day of the anniversary you lost him he is going to be in the forefront of your mind, although I bet you think about him all the time anyway.

I always say to people that the one thing in this life that absolutely NOBODY can take away from you is 'memories' and they are the most precious things.

You may have items or articles that remind you of him, but really they are just that, the memories are the ones to treasure.:)

Take his ashes to your favourite hacking place or the place that you both enjoyed the most and spread them in the wind with a huge smile on your face remembering the happy times you spent there with him.

You are never going to forget him, but gradually will come to terms with it, the saying about time being a great healer is true. As for his tack, well I guess that is up to you, again its an item, you have all your precious memories and he will always be in your heart. My friend lost her horse last year aged 34, she had owned him since he was 2. I used to ride him when he was 12, we talk about him all the time.......he is never going to be forgotton, but we can talk about him now and laugh about some of his antics without us all ending up in tears:) She still has moments, I catch her sometimes automatically checking his stable and then the realisation dawns, but those times are getting less and the happier times are being remembered more.:)
 
Well we moved back to the yard that i lost my old pony at just recently, and on the white board still written was RIP Jessie. Although i was still upset about it i thought it wasa really nice thing.

We don't really have a ritual or such but we do often try to talk about her etc, she's never forgotten :)

It can be really hard sometimes, moving back to this yard was hard, in a way of remembering things there such as "Jessie used to play with the hosepipe in that field". It's really hard to accept even now and i always wish she was still here. But it does get easier once you start to accept that they aren't coming back and there running round with all there horsey friends up in heaven :)
 
we lost our first pony, bonnie back in 2006. No rituals to remember her by really, but i have a box with one of her shoes, some mane and her old X-rays in it. We've thousands of photos of her from the 14 years we had her so i look at them often and there's not a day goes by i don't think of her and miss her so much :( her bridle is being used by my new youngster but her feed bowl and grooming box are in their usual places, i don't think i'll ever have the strength to pack them away.

i don't know if you ever do get over such a loss. I still well up with tears thinking of my little angel and i'm still very angry about several things i think contributed to the grass sickness, and also the way she was treated when we were at livery. The one thing i can't come to terms with is losing her so young. She was only 17 and still in her prime.

We still have our dog's ashes in a casket in the living room at home. He died when i was 13 (i'm now 25 ;)). We could never bury them as mum wouldn't want to leave him behind if we moved. So he's in a discreet corner with a wee bunch of red roses on the casket.
 
eventerbabe I know how you feel, Cheyenne was only 18 and still as lively as ever - feels like he was stolen from me.

But what you guys say is true, time is the best healer, at first I was in tears every day and utterly depressed, now I can talk to mum about things he used to do without welling up everytime though still 8 out of 10 times!

Thanks for the suggestion about his ashes fairlady, I am thinking of taking a trip upto Rosemarkie Beach in Inverness-Shire (500miles away!!) to his fav hacking place with his ashes on our joint birthday this year :)
 
I guess the one thing we can all hope for is to be remembered and given time little anecdotes being told about us:)

Being a bit older I have lost both people and animals in my life that meant a great deal too me. I obviously have people I love around me and animals that I love dearly, however there is always a place in my heart for the people and the animals I have lost over the years, they will never be forgotton.

Cherish your memories thats what gets you through:) and never be frightened to love another horse/dog/person again, its no disrespect to Cheyenne or whoever you lost. In fact, its a compliment that because you had such a good bond and love before you are willing to take that chance again.
 
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I lost my old horse in 2006 and it still seems like yesterday, I still have his ashes too and cant bring myself to scatter them. I guess i feel if i keep them then i still have him close. I had owned him for 22 years and he was 36 when we had to let him go, It broke my heart, There are days that i can talk about him no problem without getting upset however some days i just even mention his name without bursting into tears. I still have all his rugs but i now have managed to use them on my new horse, However i have his headcollar and i keep that in my house, I cant bring myself to use that on anyone else.. I know thats strange cause i use his rugs but cant use his headcollar. I have a huge photo of him when he was younger on my livingroom wall. Its such a hard thing when you lose something you love so much. I dont think we ever get over it, we just learn to deal with our loss thro time.
 
Remembering old friends

I still miss my first horse, after four years, and when I can't sleep, for whatever reason, I have to get up and go downstairs, and I frequently look out into my garden and imagine her grazing there, and looking up at me.

Probably sounds a bit crazy, but it helps calm me to imagine talking to her, as she was such a friend to me, and I was devastated when her problems became too much for her, and my vet and physio told me it was time to let her go.

I have her ashes, and her shoes, and a lock of her mane and tail and although I love my current horse to bits, and will be equally devastated when it is her time to go, I will never forget my first - it just gradually became easier to bear as time went on.

I know you must be feeling the loss of your horse acutely, but I hope all the messages of support you are receiving, will help you through your sadness.

Lots of hugs X



Roseanne xxx
 
Roseanne what a lovely post! Brought a tear to my eye.

That's how I feel about Cheyenne I'm glad I'm not the only one! I adore Ace and can't bear the thought of giving him back to his owner let alone anything happening to him but no horsey will ever replace my little ragamuffin!

This thread has really helped me guys :) xxx
 
I lost my little girl aged 4 on the 14.12.07, its very roar and I still cry over her all the time.
Today has been especially hard with the nice weather as she would have been bombing about the field making us all laugh.

My theory is time will tell, her ashes are sat in my front room, her rugs, brushes and tack are all put neatly in my tack room and will stay there until I am ready.
Dont push yourself to make a decision about your babys ashes you will know when the time is right to scatter them or whatever.

My house is up for sale at the moment so when we move we plan to make a shelf for the ashes in my tbs new stable - her best friend.

Its also my mares birthday on 14th Feb that will be hard too...I think we have to just keep loved ones around us and try and remember the good times if we can like people on the other posts have said.xxxx
 
I lost my beautiful Skippy on 4.11.07. He was only 18 and it was completely unexpected(colic). I came home and found him lying in the field. I am sure he had waited for me as he died in my arms before the vet could get to him. It has totally thrown me and I miss him so much.

I couldn't cope with all his rugs just lying there but I couldnt sell them either so I gave them all to my friend for her horse. The first time I saw him in them was a shock but its good to know that they are being appreciated.

My friends got me a bracelet made from his tail hair. Still cant wear it without crying but its so lovely to have. I am also in the process of getting a bangle made with all my old jewellery and its going to have a wee horseshoe charm saying "Skippy".

He really was my "once in a lifetime" horse and I'll never ever forget him. He was all things to all people and his speciality was nervous novices (or small children). I also rode him to my wedding (in full dress, veil and high heels). Since he died I cannot believe how many people have come to me with a good Skippy story (oh remember when....). He touched many lives.

I am lucky as I had him buried at home (apparently it is legal as he was a family pet) but to be honest, thats just his old clothes! I have lost horses before and I know it will get easier but you never ever really get over them. Just remember that the only way to avoid the pain is not to have had them in the first place and that would have been a much bigger loss.

I'm starting to ramble now but dont forget to remember all the good things you did together instead of the sadness at the end.
xxx
 
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