Recovering after horse related trauma

KirstinDior

New Member
Feb 19, 2021
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Hi all,

I am new here and this is my very first post. This is going to be a long one, so apologies in advance. Basically, on 7th January I suffered a nasty accident. I was leading my 5 year old mare into the indoor, she was a bit fresh and reared and bucked, and i got a rear hoof in the face. She isn't a 'typical' mare, she can be opinionated but she is the softest thing going. It was a complete accident, wrong place, wrong time. I was rushed to A&E and was diagnosed with a fractured eye socket, sinus cavity and cheekbone. I was back and forth from the hospital for 2 weeks, as i was told they would usually operate but because of COVID, they couldn't. Anyway, 2 weeks after it happened, I had a phonecall on a Friday and was admitted for surgery. The surgery was supposed ot be the Saturday morning, was then pushed to the Sunday morning and i ended up having surgery on the Monday morning (after several COVID tests). So, I now have a plate in my cheek.

I don't hold this against my mare at all, we had a great bond and she was very protective of me when it happened and wouldn't go with anyone (until they got food), she was standing over me apparently, I was screaming and there was a lot of blood.

Anyway, it has been a frustrating few weeks, my emotions are all over the place (apparently this is normal after a trauma) and I was back down the yard a week after it happened, and then as i was getting back into routine, i couldn't go back down for another week. My instructor and friend (who saw it all) was looking after her and has kept her in work for me. This is something i struggled with at first, I have had her from a 3 year old and i like to put the work in...but she is also going through that 'teenage stage' and i trust my friend, so it has turned out for the best. My mare has had the past 2 weeks off because of the snow, and i felt she could benefit from it as well, as i know most young horses do.

What i am finding hard at the moment is that i do feel better and i am so keen to ride, but i have another 2 weeks under the doctor's advice. All my friends at the yard keep persuading me not to ride sooner than that, and when i do get back on it will be after my friend has ridden and only gentle stuff. I won't be jumping for a few weeks anyway, as i won't be fit or strong enough.


Has anyone else been in a similar situation? How have you coped? Any advice? At the moment, i am struggling with my emotions, i go from being happy, to angry and to sad over silly things, like everyone arranging jump lessons on the group chat. After all my years with horses, this is the worst accident i have had.
 
Firstly, welcome to the forum.

Secondly - wow! What a horrible ordeal.

What would I do? I would cut myself some slack. The accident is not even 2 months away and I think you, your head, and your mind are going to take a long time to heal. That is perfectly natural and yes, you know as a horse owner you should be doing something every day with your horse, but honestly, I think you would be wise to just let your friend/instructor work with her and just visit her for quick short visits when your heart really wants to be with her.

Don't beat yourself up if that is in, say, 6 months' time. Just let time heal you. Have some space. It wont do you or the mare any harm. It will take a while for you to be relaxed around anyone or anything. Covid is no help at all (I got myself worked up about going to Tesco yesterday - ffs, Tesco! I told myself - get a grip, woman!)

As a horse-lover, there will come a time when you suddenly think (out of nowhere, I might add) that you need (like you need to breathe) to be near a horse. An inner voice. But there is no point forcing this. It will come, I promise. Just take a breather. Allow your body and mind to heal. 6 weeks is nothing. Seriously no time at all. Watch, read, update, focus on anything you like. A butterfly mind after such an experience is normal.

Me? Lots of back surgery, so one day, I suddenly thought "you know what, I want to ride again". But I needed my inner voice to come up with the suggestion. Up until then I had every emotion going. You are not alone.

So, that's what I would say xx
 
Hi and welcome.

I really would give yourself time to heal. You have had major facial surgery, which if you dont let heal, long term could effect you for the rest of your life.
It sounds like this accident hasnt put you off horses and riding. I think it would put most people off even being near a horse. They would loose confidence. I can understand you wanting to carry on. The longer you leave it he more chance of you loosing your confidence so its a difficult one. I would do as the dr says currently though.
 
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Thank you both. Being near her isn't bothering me. Initially i had a week where i just slept, i went to see her 2 days after it happened (my dad drove me to pick my car up) and i obviously looked different, and she was hesitant to come and see me, but once she knew i was fine she came to say hello. I did start going down in the afternoons, for my mental health and the fact i was so bored! It was also nice to see her work and the yard i am at (i moved there July last year) is lovely, we are like one big family and everyone has been so supportive and they even sent me flowers.

So i have been doing things gradually, and for over a week and a half have been back to normal (i was back at work last week), so i am doing her in the morning and afternoons and have lunged her a couple of times and done some ground work, just working on that relationship and none of that bothers me. Everyone has told me they are surprised as they wouldn't be able to and have so much respect for me, but it is just built into me. I have always had my horses on DIY, and before i was getting up at 5:00am to ride before work, and then going down in the evenings.

My friend did start using a chiffney on her, which i totally understand and to be fair, she does need it now and again. There are certain situations which trigger me, the other day i went to take her into the school to do some groundwork, and at the time of my accident, i couldn't let her loose in the indoor as someone was riding in the outdoor (i didn't want to upset them, now i have learnt to just let go) and that same person was riding in the outdoor, which did bring back memories.

I am just worried that everyone at the yard will think im such a moody cow, and it is so frustrating as i do want to just get on with everything but then i know i probably haven't processed it everything and like you say, i need to give my time to heal. Getting back into my routine has helped, i think the sudden change in the routine upset my mare, i do think it has affected my mare as well, she is a sensitive soul!

The entire trip in the ambulance i remember apologising to the paramedics because i felt so bad, with everything going on with COVID (i work in research, so deal it with daily).

One thing i am arranging is some counselling, i just need to get on top of this. I know my friends have said they are here for me, but i don't want to be a burden, and i feel bringing it up all the time, may make me look like an attention seeker. Everyone has their own problems also to deal with. I have never been in this situation before, i have had accidents, broken bones (ended up in a ditch with a horse on top of me, so i have a phobia of ditches), but this was the worst. I was very close to losing my right eye.

I think i will carry on and lunge her once a week (so i feel useful), let me instructor ride her and then in a couple of weeks, i'll get back on and just walk her around the menage and see. 6 weeks has gone so quick, i am sure the next 2 weeks will...i just have to be patient...which is hard!
 
Hello, welcome. As has been said, take your time - no interaction with our beloved horses should feel forced, so do what you feel happy doing, and enjoy. I'm sure you'll know the day you're ready to jump back in with both feet. :)
 
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Welcome to NR 🙂

That’s a hell of an injury to deal with, and given it’s your head I’d follow the docs advice timing wise, just in case. But you’re already doing the in hand bit which is when it happened so you’re ahead of the curve so to speak.

My mare boxed me in the face when she was 2, I was very lucky and although she got me square between the eyes it was just bruising and superficial injuries, though a few weeks later she fractured my wrist double barrelling me repeatedly whilst pinned against the gate, she was a horror back then!

The emotional roller coaster is challenging but it does settle with time, once you get going again you’ll be looking more forward than back. I sent my mare away to be backed when the time came, I’d done all the others myself but knew I was still wary of her and given her dominant nature I knew if I had a wobble she’d pick right up on it and use it, it was really hard as I almost felt like I was giving up or not doing what I’d promised her but It was the best thing I could have done, and I have never once regretted letting the professional do his thing.
 
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Hello, welcome. As has been said, take your time - no interaction with our beloved horses should feel forced, so do what you feel happy doing, and enjoy. I'm sure you'll know the day you're ready to jump back in with both feet. :)
Thank you. I am ready to get back on now, but i know a few people who have said they will hold me down if i even think about getting back on just yet!lol! 😆
 
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Welcome to NR 🙂

That’s a hell of an injury to deal with, and given it’s your head I’d follow the docs advice timing wise, just in case. But you’re already doing the in hand bit which is when it happened so you’re ahead of the curve so to speak.

My mare boxed me in the face when she was 2, I was very lucky and although she got me square between the eyes it was just bruising and superficial injuries, though a few weeks later she fractured my wrist double barrelling me repeatedly whilst pinned against the gate, she was a horror back then!

The emotional roller coaster is challenging but it does settle with time, once you get going again you’ll be looking more forward than back. I sent my mare away to be backed when the time came, I’d done all the others myself but knew I was still wary of her and given her dominant nature I knew if I had a wobble she’d pick right up on it and use it, it was really hard as I almost felt like I was giving up or not doing what I’d promised her but It was the best thing I could have done, and I have never once regretted letting the professional do his thing.
Thank you. Yes, i was kicked right in the eye and she had just been shod 2 days before! It was also my birthday the day before, and my dad't the day it happened, so we won't forget those in a hurry! I have a permanent minor dent on the bridge of my nose and a few minor scars, so i am lucky really. I sent her away a year ago to be backed, she was very easy to do, i did all the ground work and had the first sit and let the professionals do the rest.

In my family, we aren't the kinda of people who show our emotions easily, we tend to take the mick out of each other, just the way we are i guess.

It is easier for me knowing that i have done a lot of firsts with her, we started doing a bit of jumping last october (only small) and a few local competitions (when COVID allowed) etc, so my friend is now just getting her through the teenage phase (she thinks she now knows it all) and polishing up a few things, so i am grateful and i have learnt with youngsters, that sometimes you need help and there is nothing wrong with that. I am 33 and not as brave as i was in my 20's! My friend is 22 and an eventer, which is what i aim to do, so not a bad thing. She is really a talented rider, so i am very lucky that she has taken her under her wing to allow me to recover, she is quite a tricky mare but we did have a good relationship, which we are working on building again.

My accident has been a wake up call for me and everyone down the yard. All of us are more cautious, i think you do tend to get too complacent sometimes. I
 
Do as your surgeon said. One should not ride (or risk further injury) until at least 6 weeks after an operation.
 
Thank you. Yes, i was kicked right in the eye and she had just been shod 2 days before! It was also my birthday the day before, and my dad't the day it happened, so we won't forget those in a hurry! I have a permanent minor dent on the bridge of my nose and a few minor scars, so i am lucky really. I sent her away a year ago to be backed, she was very easy to do, i did all the ground work and had the first sit and let the professionals do the rest.

In my family, we aren't the kinda of people who show our emotions easily, we tend to take the mick out of each other, just the way we are i guess.

It is easier for me knowing that i have done a lot of firsts with her, we started doing a bit of jumping last october (only small) and a few local competitions (when COVID allowed) etc, so my friend is now just getting her through the teenage phase (she thinks she now knows it all) and polishing up a few things, so i am grateful and i have learnt with youngsters, that sometimes you need help and there is nothing wrong with that. I am 33 and not as brave as i was in my 20's! My friend is 22 and an eventer, which is what i aim to do, so not a bad thing. She is really a talented rider, so i am very lucky that she has taken her under her wing to allow me to recover, she is quite a tricky mare but we did have a good relationship, which we are working on building again.

My accident has been a wake up call for me and everyone down the yard. All of us are more cautious, i think you do tend to get too complacent sometimes. I

Its one reason I still avoid shoes on my mare! I’ve just hit 40 and I’m not as gung ho as I was even at 30! I’ve still got my mare, she’ll be 18 this year 🙂 and although she can still be tricky we’ve had the most incredible journey together and I wouldn’t change her for the world and for some insane reason I’ve not long bought a rising 3 year old who I’ll back at the end of the year or maybe next!
its hugely frustrating when you’re ready to get back on and can’t, but you’ll be so ready in 2 weeks it will be all the better for waiting for 😉
 
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Hello and welcome, the only thing I can say that hasn’t already been said is if you need to let it out as it were there’s always someone here who will listen.
 
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I can't give any better advice than you have already received but I will say don't rush yourself to get back on or rush yourself to do certain things be that onboard or on the ground. I still had the bandage on my leg when I rode again and at the time I was so keen to get back on. It was awful when I did and I think it took me longer to get over it because of all the pressure I felt to ride again. Mine was a ridden accident though so you might actually feel better on board than on the ground. But I'd definitely follow doctor's advice and wait to get signed off ☺️

I really enjoyed being on the ground and made that my focus to help me get over it all, so once you can ride you might find being on board helps with it all.
 
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I guess I am still trying to process everything, which is hard without talking about it I guess, but I don’t want to bore people either. I tried to lunge her this afternoon, and I feel like such a failure. She just wouldn’t listen to me and went completely bonkers, my friend/instructor came in and she was good as gold! It’s so frustrating that I can’t even lunge her, so if she isn’t listening to me on the ground, she won’t listen to me when I’m back on board so I guess I have some work to do or some decisions to make.
 
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And there will always be folk who were kicked in the head, broken various parts of themselves, who got on and hunted for a full day and have never looked back, but they, and their mythical grandparents who smoked 100 a day and lived till 90, are not you. You are not ready. Your body language tells the mare this, even if you can't see it. You are doing her more good by staying away than you are giving her mixed messages.
 
Gosh! I have just read this. I didn't get a kick to the face but I landed infront of my horse. Who stood on my stomach, causing me to have internal bleeding from my liver into my stomach and pelvis. I was in hospital for a week and my emotions where everywhere!!! One min sad, the next frightened,then happy etc etc when I was discharged I had 6 weeks of ... being at home. No lifting, driving, nothing. Just sitting and watching tv. I shouldn't have even been in a car incase they had to break suddenly! I found after hospital more frustrating. That I couldn't do simple things because of my Injury. I think I finally got back on after 3 months.
 
Gosh! I have just read this. I didn't get a kick to the face but I landed infront of my horse. Who stood on my stomach, causing me to have internal bleeding from my liver into my stomach and pelvis. I was in hospital for a week and my emotions where everywhere!!! One min sad, the next frightened,then happy etc etc when I was discharged I had 6 weeks of ... being at home. No lifting, driving, nothing. Just sitting and watching tv. I shouldn't have even been in a car incase they had to break suddenly! I found after hospital more frustrating. That I couldn't do simple things because of my Injury. I think I finally got back on after 3 months.
Oh no! That sounds awful, I’m glad you are ok! Did you ever think about selling him after your accident? Obviously it was an accident, but did you ever cross your mind? It’s something that is going through mine at the moment, and it’s a heartbreaking decision, but something I have been thinking about recently 😢 Its so hard, as i just have no idea what to do for the best, for me and for my mare.
 
Oh no! That sounds awful, I’m glad you are ok! Did you ever think about selling him after your accident? Obviously it was an accident, but did you ever cross your mind? It’s something that is going through mine at the moment, and it’s a heartbreaking decision, but something I have been thinking about recently 😢 Its so hard, as i just have no idea what to do for the best, for me and for my mare.

Hi I never thought about selling him as it was never actually his fault.
Though alot of people told me if it was their horse it would have been shot.
 
the confidence thing is not just the physical injury. I had a little horse called Monty, on loan, we went out hacking, a car clipped my leg by being too close, the horse went up and over. not his fault, not mine. I knew i had to ride him at once, otherwise would never do it. Next time I rode him, he hesitated, before the accident i would have calmly asked him to go on and encourage him but the memory of the rear and fall instead i got off and led him home and returned him to his owner. I hated myself for doing that but it was just no good for me and him. Years before i rode a daft racehorse called Largo Bay, i woke up sitting in the sitting room at the yard, wondering who i had fallen off. Went through the potentials and asked was it her, yes. Never rode her again. You have had a really traumatic injury, it's very early, be kind to yourself and your horse. Take it small steps. I rode a week after having my gallbladder out and weeks after knee surgery but they were purely physical things no trauma regarding the horse. I have a feral mare who was very hard work at first, she used to double barrel you in panic, i always worried that if she got me, i fell and she kicked me in the head she would kill me, so i got help with her, never worked inside with her, always in big spaces. She has repaid me by becoming the most trustworthy big teddybear who i rode last year for the first time. Many folks would have shot her but she just didn't trust or understand. But she scared me many a time as she just reacted and wham, not her fault no one had been nice to her or tried to teach her stuff. Please just listen to you gut don't go down the route i must but i want to and give yourself a bit of time to heal. Feeling a total failure when a horse won't lunge would be no big deal apart from your emotional story at the moment. Suze my mare refused to load away from home and it took us three hours and my only reaction was anger at myself for getting it so wrong and putting us both in such a stupid situation!
 
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