Really bad lesson today

[shakey rider]

Hi guys, I had a really bad lesson today in which I burst into tears (sooo embarassing).
I really hate this horse I am riding as it will not listen to any aids and I get soooo fustrated as I don't know if it is me or the horse!
When I get stressed, my balance along with everything else goes wrong and I just want to get off.
I am tempted to say to my RI not to put me on this horse again as I have had similar problems before, but the other half of me wants to persevere as I think I won't learn if I don't.
Has anyone got any advice as to how I can stay relaxed, my RI says that although the horses walk pace is slow, I need to learn how to ride with it so that we can warm up together and I can 'feel' the horses motion.

Sorry to go on but I feel soo fustrated and that I will never be able to understand all the different elements of riding.

 

[CMR]

None of us have seen you ride this horse, so we don't know what the problem is. I really think you should talk to your RI about it. You can ask her what she thinks is going wrong, and help you through it. She knows how you ride, and how this horse is, she would be the best person to turn to.

 

[Bay Mare]

Been there, got the t-shirt! Not that that helps of course

I used to be stuck on this ****** ploddy cob thing which I HATED. I would get in a real strop when I was down to ride her (a LOT) and my lessons would be a disaster. THEN I met my current trainer who said that to be a good rider you should be able to ride pretty much any horse and though I may not be able to get the same 'tune' out of some horses that I got out of others I should look on it as a challenge and to look at the 'problems' and try and at least improve on them during the course of the lesson.

This little pep talk did help me somewhat and although I still had my miserable lessons I did start to approach riding her in a different manner. The day that I got her to canter off the leg on BOTH reins first time was a real breakthrough for me Not many people got her to do that so it was a real milestone in a lot of ways. She never was my favourite but once I changed the way that I was thinking I definitely didn't mind quite so much.

I agree, though, that you should ask your RI for some tips on how to find his/her 'buttons' but there's also nothing to stop you from approaching it in a different way. If you have the chance then lots of transitions including direct transitions can be a good way to 'spark up' a ploddy horse. Also very often getting a canter in early can help too!

Good luck and let us know how you get on next time

 

[Crazyhorse]

If it's any consolation, we all have lessons like this. I rode a horse very similar to the one you described, although she was a mare. What ever you did she would take the mick. She seemed to respond a lot better to men. In the end I let her know I meant business as soon as I got on her by thinking positive and using a slightly stronger leg aid. Those first few minutes of the lesson are the most important and will set the tone of your lesson. If you get on not thinking positive, the chances are you won't get want you want from the horse. The trickiest bit is finding out what works best on each individual horse, which is easier said than done! I think that you are right to want to ride this horse again. Just think of the boost you will get when a lesson goes well and it will all be worth it. I echo what has been said about asking your RI's advice. Maybe she means to use your body to follow the horse's movement. If you are frustrated/worried then maybe your body is tensing and blocking the movement. Good luck and let us know how you get on.

 

[kedwards]

Hmm, it sounds to me like you've identified what you see as a problem (horse feels slow, you try to get him more forward, he doesn't listen, you get frustrated and tighten up, horse listens even less). Sounds about right?

Start by finding a way to refocus your attitude so that you can go in to a lesson feeling optimistic. If you start with "Oh no, not XX, I hate that horse," you'll be frustated before you even begin. Instead, say, "Alright, XX, I've been hoping I can ride him again to see if I can get past the impasse with him."

The comment from the instructor suggests to me that you are trying too hard to push the horse forward before you've got into harmony with him. Most aids work best if we start by following and then just ask for a little more or a little less. When you first get on, take some deep breaths, allow yourself to sink deep into the seat, and perhaps close your eyes as the horse walks so that you can really just get a feel for his rhythm. Try counting along with his leg movements. Focus on your hips. If you relax them and follow the horse, what do your hips feel like in each stage of the walk stride? How about your legs? What does the barrel feel like against your leg? Do you notice the barrel swaying slightly from side to side as the horse walks, moving first into one of your calves and then the other?

Spending a little time in the beginning focusing this way may help you to "center" yourself both physically and mentally. It's also time well-spent when it comes to learning. As you spend some time becoming more aware of what it takes to follow the horse, you'll also learn things (about footfalls, rhythm, how the body moves in each stride) that will be very handy when it comes to being more effective in your aids down the line.

 

[intouch]

The RS I used to work in had a couple of horses who were often used for beginners because they were reliable, if slow. Some riders hated these horses because they wouldn't do much for the riders. Then after a few weeks, when the riders had begun to get the hang of things, the horses began to behave better and the riders would say "Oh, hasn't old Plod improved!" Of course it wasn't old Plod that had improved, it was the rider. So I'd say just give ypurself time, try not to get too frustrated and remember, if the horse isn't doing what you want, he probably doesn't understand what you are asking. Learn his language, and he'll talk to you!

 

[shakey rider]

WOW you all know your stuff - Thanks!

Thank You all so much for your advice,
I do tense up a lot with this horse and I will try your advice on relaxing and coming to the lesson with a different attitude.

I still feel like I have so much to learn but this forum is so helpful when you are feeling down in the dumps to give you the confidence to have another go.

Next lesson 'bring it on!'

 

[kedwards]

That's the ticket!

 

[BNaturally]

First of all, don't give up.
Have you ever hear or seen people riding for the first time and they mention about their butt, legs have pain and hurt?
What they have to do is to continue to ride and learn the proper way to ride and then those pains will go away, because of their muscles will become stronger and then they become more knowledgeable on how to sit and use their hands, legs etc...

None of us was born great rider, but great riders had to develop and grow and master those technique, and then continue to seek better skills, so it will take some time.
Hang in there, pace yourselve, don't put any pressure on youselve by looking at other people.
Keep the focus on what you must do, and don't focus on the horse and what he not doing, because you must learn how to over come those bad days of riding and if you hang in there with a good working attitude everytime, then things will change for the better, so give it a go and realize that it take time and try to learn and do 1 thing correct in your riding lesson, then later try 2
things and continue to seek more knowledge.

I hope this helps.