Really am running out of patience!!

pineapple

New Member
Nov 9, 2007
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Gloucester, Hartpury
My step sister has a horse that she hasnt ridden at allfor a month and hasnt ridden regularly for about 5 months, she has only had the horse since August.

he used to be a really well muscled/fit show/hunting horse, ridden 5 times a week.

i asked her if she wanted to sell the horse or allow other people to exercise him but she said no. so now the horse has lost all his muscle. also he gets grumpy in his stable because in bad weather he just gets left inside his stable and never gets taken out. he has been left like this for weeks and it really upsets me to see a good horse go to waste.

if i try tolunge him(which i dont even have permission to do!) he runs off bucking and actually kicks out at you. today i turned him out and all i did was open the stable door and shut it but before i could bolt it he be barged out and onto the yard. so basiaclly he is getting more and more difficult to handle.

she said she was going to come down to ride him every day this week and next but hasnt been down. the one day she did come down she brushed him and put him back in his stable, i thnik she is getting scared of him and doesnt want to ride. i really dont know what to do to help this horse.:mad: sorry for the rant i know theres nothin that can really be done about it.
 
is it possible for you to ride him?
i wouldnt say its fair for a horse to go so downhill that quickly. is there no way you could get her to come down and ride him? perhaps hack out with them or try and give her a lesson etc.
 
Speak to the YO and get them to ask what her plans are. They can tell her what the horse needs and save family relations:)
 
the YO never sees her! like isaid she hasnt been there at all for a month and then she rode for a couple for days spread over about a month and the horse wasnt ridden for about 2 -3 months before that! she never comes to the yard at all.

i could ride him but if she ever found out it would be like"why are you riding my horse hes my horse its not your place bla bla bla". i don think the horse would be safe to hack out he was spinning and rearing months ago!
 
Im in sort of the same position with some people (x friends now) who i sold my old horse to. He went as a very fit, great natured horse that could turn his hand to anything and since they bought him and moved from our yard he is now skinny, stabled 24/7 (not been out of his stable for at least 2 months) most he gets is walked from one stable to another while they muck out. He now weaves and bites/kick all around ,and the guy who bought him hasnt ridden him since he fell off 6 months ago!!! Ive called the RSPCA as he is locked up and thin but they can not do anything as he is not a neglect case and a friend offered to buy him or loan him but they said no as he was fine as he is.

It horrible to be helpless in a situation like this makes me so angry when horse owners act like this :mad:
 
Thats such a shame :( Your step sister should get herself down and make sure her horse is exercised like he should be. She should think herself very lucky that she has a horse of her own, I would love one but cannot afford one but I don't suppose the argument of her thinking herself lucky would work on her?
I can understand your frustration and anger at her and your upset about the poor horse. Lets just hope she sees sense soon.
 
Thats such a shame :( Your step sister should get herself down and make sure her horse is exercised like he should be. She should think herself very lucky that she has a horse of her own, I would love one but cannot afford one but I don't suppose the argument of her thinking herself lucky would work on her?
I can understand your frustration and anger at her and your upset about the poor horse. Lets just hope she sees sense soon.
I agree. What about your/her parents could they not do something?
 
i could ride him but if she ever found out it would be like"why are you riding my horse hes my horse its not your place bla bla bla".
I hate to say it, but she would have a point! It must awful seeing the horse go downhill like that but at the end of the day he's hers, not yours.

I think its a bit strong to say he's being wasted or ruined through not being ridden - plenty of horses thrive on retirement and being turned away for a while. If his turnout was sorted, he may enjoy having a break! whatever reason. You say your sister doesn't go to the yard every day which implies he's on some sort of livery - so doesn't that mean someone else is responsible for his turnout? I'd worry about that bit, not how often she shows her face or rides him.

How old are you and your step-sister, who bought the horse and who pays for the livery? If she's funding it all herself, then tbh the best you can do is explain your concerns then leave it. Don't try to ride or excercise him without permission because it would be too much of a mess if he or you got injured. If your parents are funding it, then talk to them and ask them to intervene - if they're not horsey, talk to them in terms of protecting their investment!
 
I think its a bit strong to say he's being wasted or ruined through not being ridden - plenty of horses thrive on retirement and being turned away for a while. If his turnout was sorted, he may enjoy having a break! whatever reason. You say your sister doesn't go to the yard every day which implies he's on some sort of livery - so doesn't that mean someone else is responsible for his turnout? I'd worry about that bit, not how often she shows her face or rides him.
I agree with this. My TB is currently turned away and loving it - and I'm enjoying a well-deserved break! He has lost topline and muscle condition due to being off work, but I would be upset if anyone suggested that he was "ruined" or "wasted" because we were having a holiday. His condition will come back when we're ready to work again.
However, I would be concerned that your sister's horse isn't getting any turn out. Who cares for him if your sister doesn't go every day?
 
yea i wouldnt mind if he was turned out more. my main problem is that his behaviour is changing and he has lost an awful lot of muscle wastage. he puts his ears back when you walk up to him and he has started to bite he top of his door and run off with you when you lead him to the field or lunge him etc.

i sent her a text today asking if she wanted to come riding anytime this week or have a lesson him with my RI she said no. i really do worry that if she doesnt start riding him soon then he will need complete reschooling because of the way his attitude is changing. a break works for some horses i have turned a horse away for the winter before. but this horse thrives on routine, we were told that when we bought him. she said he was ridden 5 times per week every week and had been since 4year old.

when we got him he was already spinning and rearing on the roads and has never been 100% with traffic but now im not sure if its even safe to ride him the school. i think my step sister knows this, she isnt a confident rider and i think she doesnt want to ride because she is worried about what he will do.

i dont really want to ride him, i have to horses 2 ride one is a 4 year old and takes up alot of time. also as he is a bit loopy i dont really feel like the hassle (the 4 year old isnt loopy its my step sisters horse that is getting that way), i was only lunging him so that he could come out of his stable more, but now he is getting dangerous to lunge. i just sent her another text asking why she doesnt want to ride. no answer as yet though.

also do you think his behaviour ties up with stomach ulcers, i was thinking as he was stabled so much but has the same amount of forage as the other horses, he also pees on a lot of it as there is minimal amount of bedding in his box, an then he obviously doesnt eat alot of his haylege.
 
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i totally agree with you in the fact id be so angry too....i think you just have to tell her straight...to be honest it will be the best thing in the end..for everyone, i dunno what else you could do.
 
Judging from what you have written so far. Maybe your step sis is getting scared of this horse. If she feels that you are hassling her to ride or questioning her judgement and capibilites it will push her further away.
I would approach the YO and tell her that the horse is becoming agressive and this will have an impact on the other horses and a danger to the people around. She really has a better chance of getting through to her (families:rolleyes:).
Other then that I would try a different approach with her. Be over nice. Tell her what a nightmare her horse is, that she must be so brave to cope. What does she do when he does X Y and Z? Maybe if she feels like she hasn't totally failed with him, she'll start coming back up again. Just a thought.:)
 
You'll have to excuse me if i babble a bit but i am a little confused by a few things.
Are you telling us that this horse does not get any turnout at all and is stabled 24/7 unless you lunge him? That your sister can't be bothered to turn him out? If this is the case then i'd say this is very unfair on the horse and would be the reason why his behaviour is going downhill. Every horse needs turnout. If this is the case and i've read it right then i'd say poor bugger, i'd bite people if i was that fed up :eek: If it isn't the case then sorry wires crossed.

Is it possible for you to answer a few niggly questions. Like what age are you and your sister and are your parents involved in any of the decisions made? I won't go into the why's of why the horse was bought when he had such problems but these problems will only escalate if he doesn't have turnout or work and one to one attention. The lad probably doesn't know what the hells happening to him. I think you're right to be worried about him but it is a very hard situation as with him being your sister's horse it does mean she has priority. But i would probably be going to a figure of authority, be it a parent, a YO etc. and telling them the situation and asking them to look into the horses wellbeing as this animal could well become very dangerous through no fault of his own.
 
i am 19 and my step sister is 16. her dad pays for her horses livery and my mum pays for my horse and pony.

my step sisters horse, Cracker, is turned ou by the YO but only on fine days when it hasnt rained the day before. he has spent alot of the winter in 24/7, once he spend 5 days before i lunged him and yes he was crazy when i did(i know not his fault)

now he is turned out about 4 days a week, which is better but in my opinion a horse needs exercise every day, whether it is turn out or lunging,hacking whatever. also, winter will come again and next year he will be in the same state only worse becasue i will be going to hartpury in sept, i dont know if she will remeber to order his feed, book his farrier etc. the YO rules that owners are present when the horse is shod incase there is an accident, i dont know if she could be there etc.

i mean even small things like he is loosing his coat and his rug isnt taken off for him to scratch unless i take it off for him. i really worry about these things.
 
With the best will in the world then, it sounds like its an issue for her dad to sort out. I should think your best bet is to have a chat with him, explain your concerns and maybe ask him to clarify what the livery fee covers - it seems from your posts that the YO is responsible for day to day care including turnout, rugging, grooming etc - so ask him to insist it happens every day, whatever the weather. If it doesn't cover all that, offer to do it for them.... for a small fee ;)

Lack of formal exercise won't hurt for a while if he's getting a decent amount of turnout everyday. Longer term issues such as wether or not she's scared of him etc etc are between your step sister and her bank-of-dad (who is technically the horse's owner). If he's happy shelling out all that cash for a big pet that isn't getting ridden, that's their choice to make.
 
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