Quite upset / offended by now ex sharer

myfunkyhorse

myfunkyhorse

New Member
Jan 9, 2009
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Being blown around on my horse in Berkshire
I've had a sharer for the pass month for demi on trial, which is really hard for me because she's so special to me but due to work not going so great im not earning as much commision i would like i decided to get a sharer for her..

Anyways sharer came today I popped down on my way passed from work to see demi and her and everything seem as usual she was chatty etc i left them to it.. she rode demi put her to bed etc, i even got a text saying she'd had a nice ride etc.. then a few hours later i get a text out the blue saying she no longer wants to share demi and she'd discussed with her parents, and would be collecting her stuff tomorrow, no notice or nothing.

Whats upset me the most is that she did it by text, and we saw each other tonight at the yard, i've helped her with her riding, and also given her plenty of lifts home so her folks didnt have to come out to get her,
i moved demi to my new yard because the facilities werent great and the sharer liked the new yard location was good etc, its more expensive than i was paying.

I just think i should at least been let down face to face, and I upset for my horse. every sharer ive ever had has been totally flakey (sorry if there are decent sharers on here reading this)

:(
 
Awwhh , i feel for you, hugs. I would be let down too*hugs*

You would of thought at the very least she might have rang you.

I am a sharer and have had the same pony nearly 3 years, in the contract i signed i have to give them a months notice which i would if i was to give her up , butt hat wont happen as i love her too much, the pony and she , the pony has helped me with many problems , all of them been personal.

Really hope you find another sharer.

laurenxx
 
My ex sharer didn't talk to me to give me notice either. I was upset at the time but did text her back to say she was welcome to still come and ride if she wanted.

I put it down to a generational thing and nothing personal. I even thought it was because she wanted to avoid an uncomfortable situation which I can fully understand even though I wouldn't have done it. Most people seem to think text or email is appropriate for everything thing. I'm of a generation where it is less so.
 
That's the trouble with new technology... it gives you the option of hiding behind text messaging.....
 
Ugh, I would never think to do that either!! I shared a horse for just under a year and the only reason I had to stop is because they moved away to Durham as the owner's parents were ill and they had to move. Neither of us wanted that to happen, it worked really well for us both, and she purposely came to the yard on one of my days to tell me face to face as soon as she knew she would have to move which I appreciated. I would have given her the same courtesy as well. There ARE good sharers out there, I am desperate for a horse to share near me, but I don't drive so it's quite difficult atm.
 
least you got a text - i just found my loaner doing an evening flit when they thought i wouldn't be around (actually thought someone was robbing the place when i first saw cars pulled up loading items). Take it on the chin, lessons learnt and move on. Just make sure to please yourself in future and not go out of your way to help others
 
I agree that it is a generational thing. Younger people think it's ok to do everything via text. I just think she knew she was giving up when you saw her but didn't know how to say it especially if you are older than her. It's not a slur on you but about her. She should give some notice though. Good luck with finding someone better.:wink:
 
No,I dont think it a generational thing.
I have no idea of the background in this specific case but again and again the BHS and NR say how important it is to have an agreement in writing. A good friend of mine ignored me when I told her to do this. And that was a big mnistake.

There must be an adult owner (or guardian) responsible for any horse and it is up to them to establish the conditions, ask for a deposit if that seems sensible, enforce the notice period etc.
It makes no sense at all for an owner to move yards and commit to higher costs on the basis of vague preferences from a sharer who is still on probation and has made no written agreement at all.
In fact I doubt if I would have moved yards for the sake of a sharer who was signing up for a month's trial. After 6 months of a share and if all was going well perhaps.
 
Sorry to hear that it hasn't worked out for you and Demi.

I have to say nothing surprises with people anymore.

I have had sharers let me down and by text but I genuinely find most people a waste of time.

I seem to put every effort into being nice, helping people, going out of my way, only to be let down. I have got used to it now.

The only people worth my time and trust now are my family and my animals. That's humans for you.

Do I sound bitter, sorry :redface:
 
Out of 6 past sharers, only 2 proved fruitful... one 'bad egg' proceeded in battering my horse with a wooden barging bar.. needless to say, they only reason I know she did it, was my horses terror when the offending piece of wood fell over, and he jumped two foot in the air on the spot, and shook after, and having been told she'd taken the whip to him, and various other objects:devil: ...
In fact, anything that fell near him, forks, brushes, ended with him reacting in that way:frown:
It took two years to undo all that damage:devil: and her father threatened to kill me, even though his daughter had been caught ill treating my horse!
 
I'm sorry to hear that this has happened - unfortunately as texting has also become a valid way of permanent communication, there are some people who I am sure wouldn't see an issue in doing anything via text anymore!
 
i take it from reading the original post the sharer is a younger person? was a contract/notice period ever drawn up? I'd chalk it up to experience and make sure that next time everything is bound up in a contract. That way you won't be dropped in it.

I too think it's a generational thing. Kids like to do everything by text and MSN these days (I'm a teacher and work with kids day in, day out). Why do you think there's been an explosion in cyber bullying. Verbal and written communication from kids can be very poor and that's because they have these technological gadgets to play with.
 
Do you think maybe something has happened since the short space of
seeing her at the Yard earlier, maybe her Parents have told her they
are not willing to pay anymore or something, seems very odd that she
has just turned round and done that, even if there is a generation 'thing'.

Could you not just text her and ask WHY without putting any pressure on
the situation or ring her even and say you are sorry to hear that etc., etc.,
 
I'm really sorry to read this. You really do sound fed up.

There are good sharers out there, even if I do say so myself :smug:

I suppose that's why a good trial period is important, so as not place too high an expectation either way.

I'm sure you'll find the right person for you soon enough - let this experience lower your expectations a little, but don't give up and do give someone else a chance to share your beautiful funky horse :wub:
 
really sorry to hear you have been told that way but i just want to defend us younger people and say there are unfortuately also some adults like that . when we were at the yard we were on before one day out of the blue i got a text saying something along the lines of, ive had enough of you get your horses out of my field. i burst into tears when i got the text, not because i wanted to stay but the way she told me and wouldnt tell me why, all she would say you know why (found out later of her pathetic reasons) but looking back it was the best thing to happen, fortunately a stable and grass livery space had just become available at the yard down the road
 
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