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moweykezza

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May 21, 2019
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WARNING VERY LONG POST!! Ok so I'm 44 and have not ridden for 10 years (previously had my own horses TB) - so my 14 yr old daughter has been hounding me for a horse for AGES! but I said "no I haven't got time to be going twice a day turning out/bringing in mucking out etc" - she is suffering from PTSD these last 2 years after the Manchester Arena Attack (I won't go into detail) but has become a recluse, so I thought maybe getting a mother/daughter share might be a good idea, she can't ride but I can, so thought Ok maybe get a cob little hardier than can live out (obviously we will go every day) but thought her bonding and grooming it, I could exercise it while she has some lessons etc etc - I hope you get my thinking.
So went to try this 14:2hh 5 yr old cob "Moo" (yes she's black and white and looks like a cow lol) - she was lovely and calm in the stable, girl rode her in ménage, lovely walking nice trotting she did a little canter stop straight away beautiful. My daughter rode her (on the lead rope) around the ménage then we went for a hack down the lanes lovely. I was told she would be great for a novice to learn on she's calm etc so I thought great this is the medicine we need. I might add we don't want to do shows pony clubs etc this is just another family member to look after, love give lots of TLC and gentle hack out.

She arrived one week ago (Tuesday) and for the first 3 days spent loads of time trying to bond with her grooming etc first she wouldn't let me brush her tail and back feet but then stood beautifully for me the day after to do this and I thought great she's settled in lovely. We've been talking her around the yard and the paddock so she can see where she is. So Saturday I thought tack her up and walk her around the spare paddock (which we can ride in). Tacked her up great no problems, walked her around the paddock, circles figures of 8 etc lovely, I thought ok so I'll ride her around the paddock now, great walked around little trot etc lovely. So my daughter wanted a go, mmmmm ok then so she got on I lead her around the paddock little walk etc lovely, not for long, so then my 16yr old son said "can I have a walk around on her"... errrmmm ok then and as soon as he sat his bum on her she reared planted front two feet down and bucked him off:eek:.... he was fine got straight back up and said "can I get on again".... I really didn't want him to but thought you know riding a bike fall off get back on, so he did, this time she stood, so I thought one circle walk then I want him off that's enough for today... we only did about 3 steps and she bucked him off again and bolted.... she stood for me to walk to her to get her...

Did I do too much with her on that one day? even though riding her wasn't actually for very long but with 3 of us on and off her back????

So Sunday I tacked her up again and walked her around the same paddock (not riding her) _ I tried to lung her but she just stood as if to say I really don't know what you want me to do, so just carried on walking her around. Did this same yesterday tacked her up walked her around the paddock she was snorting a little and still very wary in this paddock looking around, but I thought I need to get on this horse because now I'm scared, I got on her and she was a little on edge, I tried to keep really calm and talk to her and walked one circle, she put her head down once and I thought OH NO I'M OFF but I just kept saying steady girl and she brought her head back up, she was walking fast and not relaxed... so after just one circle I got off.

But I must admit I'm really scared to get on this horse I'm petrified she's gonna buck me off my confidence has gone POOF! out of the window.

Any advice PLEEEEEEEEEASEEEEE - I have a friend coming on Thursday to lunge her for me.

I know it's only been 1 week but I read so many post "get straight on the horse don't do settling in time etc etc"
 
How was she when you test rode her before you brought her home? it seems a very extreme reaction to rear and buck your son off, twice. If she had been in any kind of work then walking around as you did shouldn't have been too much. Has your saddle been professionally fitted? what sort of home did she come from? what is her history? what is her general demeanor, i.e. anxious, bolshie, sleepy, alert?
 
she was calm when we tried her and my daughter plodded down the lane lovely on her - the tack came with her - she's very laid back in her own paddock where she grazes and stands lovely while you brush and pamper her - stands lovely and still for tacking up - broken last year turned away for the winter then brought back in to work, the girl (who be bought her from walked/trotted/cantered and then trotted over few trotting poles) - I thought she was lovely and calm (then) - I just am so frightened of her bolting with my daughter on (she is not riding her yet) as I only wanted a happy hack - but I'm nervous to get on her now
 
She's 5, no matter what the seller said she isn't going to be for non-riders. Any 5yo is a young horse, a 5yo cob often isn't much more than a youngster that Is physically and mentally immature. She hasn't had long to settle down & while that probably wouldn't be an issue with a decent rider on as you found out it was a problem with non-riders. Also the number of times she was got on & off may have upset her. The fact that you, as the only family member who rides, are now very nervous is only going to make matters worse because nervous riders can worry horses, particularly ones who aren't established & confident in themselves.

I would suggest getting some good help in straight away. Look for a qualified RI or someone who genuinely knows their stuff, who will teach you how to handle & ride her not just do it themselves & leave you none the wiser. Avoid like the plague people offering to "sort her out" - chances are they want free rides (or better yet you to pay them) and are going to screw her up because they don't really know what they're doing & certainly aren't going to teach you whatever they may know.

Without seeing her this could be a sweeping & wrong assumption, but I'd be inclined to say your best option would be to sell her and buy something older & more experienced with a laid back outlook on life, the sort that would consider bucking and running off far too much trouble unless a wolf pack was on it's heels.
 
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OMG! What have I done my daughter is going to be devastated if we have to let her go......oh jeeze...... ....... I got back in touch with the seller and let her know straight away what had happened and she said "oh dear just carry on and keep lunging her"
 
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moweykezza said:
she was calm when we tried her and my daughter plodded down the lane lovely on her - the tack came with her - she's very laid back in her own paddock where she grazes and stands lovely while you brush and pamper her - stands lovely and still for tacking up - broken last year turned away for the winter then brought back in to work, the girl (who be bought her from walked/trotted/cantered and then trotted over few trotting poles) - I thought she was lovely and calm (then) - I just am so frightened of her bolting with my daughter on (she is not riding her yet) as I only wanted a happy hack - but I'm nervous to get on her now
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So did you ride her or just your daughter on lead rein at the test? did you take someone else experienced with you? If she is super chilled most of the time it is very odd behavior, is your son particularly tall, that can sometimes really throw a young horse off balance. I would be having the saddle checked pronto, just because they sent it with her doesn't mean it fits. I would agree with @carthorse about getting an RI involved sooner rather than later (I would go with RI over experienced friend just because they are a) likely to have wider experience and b) be more impartial), ask them for an honest assessment of her and if they think she might be suitable for a complete novice to learn on, unfortunately there aren't many 5 year olds with just a few months of education under their belt that would be.
 
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@moweykezza your daughter is going to be a whole lot more devastated if one of you gets injured. You could try getting some training for Moo, but it's not going to be cheap & there's no guarantee it'll turn her into what you need. You could also get some lessons for you and your daughter so you're more up to speed & she at least has the basics. It might work, it might not, but the longer you have her the more attached you'll get & the more upset you'll be if you do have to sell. For me once people start saying they're scared of their horse I think it's very difficult to turn things around - it's nigh on impossible to hide it from a horse & it either (a)makes them nervous because they can't see what you're scared of so they get edgy which in turn makes you more nervous and you're both on a downward spiral or (b) makes them realise they have the upper hand & can bully you into doing what they want. I know it isn't easy & I haven't seen the situation with my own eyes, but from what I've read my best advice would be to find her a nice home, have some lessons & then get something more suitable.
 
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Just take your time if you want to keep her.
Baby steps for quite a while, and some lessons with a good instructor. I got my first when he was 4, and it took a good year for me to start feeling confident on him. Keep things really simple - ie walk and walk and walk, until you and the horse are chilled about it all. Do as much handling as riding (if not more), I've had to do that with my second, who's 12 and wasn't ridden for 2 years before I had him. When you've established trust and who's boss on the ground, then transfer that to the saddle. All that said, if you're really worried about coping, then part with her and get something more mature. Hard I know, but best for all. Good luck.
 
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Thank you - I really really do want to keep her - the plan was for my daughter to be having lessons but bonding with her in the meantime, and for me to be exercising her until both my daughter and Moo came together at a point - I just didn't know whether I was expecting too much too soon and which way forward should I go...let her go or carry on with the bonding work with her handling her and keep tacking her up and walking and walking like we have been doing ?????
 
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I think you are expecting too much - she has had a big upheaval moving and is now testing you to see what the boundaries are.

I went through all this with mine - she was rising 6 when I got her and it took several months of two steps forward and one back to get to where I felt confident / bonded with her, I had expert support from people who said things like "the most complicated mare" and "humans are of no consequence in her world" but we stuck with it and I have now had her 11 years - I know I could never have done it without the experts.
 
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It might help if your daughters at school during the day, if you can have some quality quiet time with moo - it's very early days to judge how things are going to go, and maybe three intros in one day was a bit much. To be honest, I enjoyed just messing about around both mine when I got them, and just being 'there' so to speak, helps with bonding, and making them feel secure. (Fun for you too! I spent weeks just gawping at mine in the field and stable, enjoying the fact that i'd got them!) See how you feel after a few weeks of just getting to know each other. I agree with fourlegs - mine have both put me through it but I wouldn't change a thing.:)
 
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Thank you I think I just felt pressure from reading other forums about time for horses to settle and the majority were saying just get on and go .... we’ve just come back from seeing her had a lovely 2 hours grooming her .. she just stood while I sprayed detangle spray all over her mane and tail (so she’s good with sprays too never flinched) then we tacked her up and just went for a walk up and down the lane (didn’t ride just walked with her) beautiful calm girl .... she loves to be pampered and brushed she just stands and nearly falls to sleep ..her temperament in the paddock and stable management is second to none with that she’s an absolute superstar
 
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Some excellent advice as always from NR.

But I agree with carthorse five is very young and as you have stated backed at four turned away the. Back to work but you don’t say when she was brought back.

If you are going to carry on with her please at least get the saddle checked.
I don’t think five is a good age to be sold as good for novices unless they have done a fair bit but it sounds like she hasn’t
 
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moweykezza said:
Thank you I think I just felt pressure from reading other forums about time for horses to settle and the majority were saying just get on and go .... we’ve just come back from seeing her had a lovely 2 hours grooming her .. she just stood while I sprayed detangle spray all over her mane and tail (so she’s good with sprays too never flinched) then we tacked her up and just went for a walk up and down the lane (didn’t ride just walked with her) beautiful calm girl .... she loves to be pampered and brushed she just stands and nearly falls to sleep ..her temperament in the paddock and stable management is second to none with that she’s an absolute superstar
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Sounds like you've fallen for her! Some pics would be good ;)
 
I have, I wish she was a nightmare stable manners wise but she’s not she’s an angel and my daughter spends hours brushing her and plaiting her mane and I’m not frightened of taking control of her in the paddock or stable etc it’s just the riding her my confidence has been blown ... I’ll try put some pics on
 
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She is GORGEOUS! My latest is an Irish cob, and I love the look of them. Her feathers rival my boy's!
 
I would get the saddle checked. Shes young and her body shape will continue to change for a while. It could be that someone has sold tack that isn't fitted to the horse. When there backed some people will put any old saddle on thatbtheyve brought off the internet and then just sell it with the horse.
Three on offs was probably too much for a horse settling in to new people and surroundings. Although ridden time if she was in work shouldn't have been an issue. Maybe as said if your son is tall she maybe unbalanced with his weight and maybe a poorly fitting saddle. Equally as the horse is green she may have misunderstood his body language. He could have put his leg on in a place that the horse is not familiar with. Learner riders tend to pull on the mouth with the reins.
If you feel you want to keep her then whilst the children are at school ( if your not working in the day ) get yourself some private lessons/instructor to teach and advice you. Then if you feel unsafe riding her then I would question if she is safe for your children.
This horse is young and inexperienced. Having a learner rider as well is not a good combination people say. You possibly should have found something a little older. But if her manners are there and you feel safe around her then you could work and grow with it.
 
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