nervous child

[kelbe]

my daughter had a nasty fall off a pony last year which really made her lose her confidence. After a long time we got her back on and cantering. She now has a new pony who is very good but my daughter has gone backwards and is very nervous and paranoid and keeps tensing at every little thing. does anyone have any tips on helping her she is such a natural little rider and it would be a real shame to not get her confidence back

 

[scoobylover]

Hi

She sounds a bit like my 10 year old! Claudia has bursts of confidence (almost over confident at times) then something, might only be insignificant, will happen and she goes back a stage or two.
I simply go back to basics, i.e, leadrein if necessary, or walking only, perhaps only introducing trot just for a couple of steps at a time.
This way, we seem to progress in small steps instead of taking two steps forward and one step backwards!
I find it quite frustrating, cos I know that once she 'gets over it', she is fine.
One example is this - she was quite happy to canter, bareback and pony only wearing headcollar and lead rope around the field, the next day we went out for a quiet walk, pony spooked, she fell off and was terrified to get back on! I made her get on, then get off a couple of times, and then promised her that I would hold him while we walked home. By the time we reached the field, she was asking if she could take him in for a canter!

 

[kelbe]

i agree it is so frustrating. She was so confident before her accident and now she compares every pony with her old one. She has cantered this new pony by herself and she has even been fine when she has spooked but now all of a sudden if she trots slighty too fast then she just panicks and refuses to move. I have got her on a lunge now which she seems to be happy with. It just makes me sad because as soon as she has a canter she is smiling from ear to ear.

 

[wundahoss]

I agree that you should stick to the very basics for now. Make sure you are in control as much as possible, to reassure her & prevent mishaps. Don't force her into doing anything she doesn't feel ready for - even if that's just sitting on the horse for long. Remember that stress builds if it isn't relieved, so even a tiny amount that goes on for too long can be too much - as with other animals.

I believe, as with horses, it's important to work at where she's at(on any day) and that her confidence & enjoyment(& the pony's) should be absolute priority. Her skills will come gradually from that. I don't think it's that important to concentrate on specifics at all to start with. Again, as with horses, we have a hard time learning & not reacting when 'right brained' so make sure she's really comfortable with the situation before asking her to try something new. It will depend also on her age & previous experiences as to how much or fast you progress. Also on how you can talk to her & help work through her fears. Just be prepared to take the time it takes.