Need help/support...a sign from above..

nat17

nat17

Minnie, Sam and Dolly
May 30, 2002
8,002
376
83
Cotswolds
Visit site
Well....


Podge.... I know I have had this before but its crunch time. I am not riding Podge.. even when i am not a nervous nellie I cant be bothered. He is a great horse, who is doing nothing. I know horses know nothing of doing nothing but he is bored.. I can tell.

I thought about getting a sharer... but i am so over protective over him I would not let them do anything with him unless i was there..:rolleyes: I think... I could try it...

I cant loan him for the same reason....

My only option is to ask Stubley to sell him for me, I cant sell him myself as last time no one was good enough.. on at least one count..

I cant let go though.. I love him to death.. he only has to look at me and i melt... he is such a good boy and could be a lovely horse for someone...

How on earth do people sell horses without needing some sort of medical help.....
 
they agonise over it, just like you. but sometimes it is the best thing for the horse, and whatever torture it is for us, that knowledge that it is best for the horse lets us go through with it.
we have to be the responsible ones and do what is right, even when it tears us to pieces.
 
Nat - if you are even a teensy bit interested in a loan/share I know a lovely lady who is looking. She is very kind and absolutely adored her old loan horse and would regularly give him massages and lots of TLC. Unfortunately the owner took the horse back so she's been out of it for a few months. If you think that you could stand it let me know (with Podge's CV please :) ) and I'll get the two of you in contact :D
 
Ahh Nat, bless you, its a very tough one. I would be the same with Flora. I couldn't imagine ever selling her. There is just a special something with some horses isn't there? I bought Softee when Flora looked like she was medically retired at 7. I am selling her now that Flora has apparantly recovered (she is sold all but the passing over of the cash), but although a very nice mare, that magic wasn't there between us so it isn't difficult.

Given you and Podge have the magic, I'd say be very, very sure that you want to sell him. I'm guessing that special chemistry doesn't come around very often. If you feel sure its the right thing to do, then I think selling him from Stubley will be the best way and the easiest for you. The cost will eat big lumps out of his price, but you won't have the upset of having people (sometimes idiots) try him whilst you are there and you can be almost certain that he will find an owner there who is similar to us.

Let us know how it goes and ring me if you want to talk. {{{hugs}}}
 
I'd try a share first, you may find you really like the person sharing and if you keep him at your yard you can see whatever's going on. You seem to have such a wonderful relationship with him it would be a pity for him not to be in your life.

If I was in this situation I would definitely try a share first.
 
whether to sell, loan or share depends on what you feel you need to do with podge. a share is just that - so you'd still have to do her half the time, he'd be getting half a 'full' workload, if you see what i mean.
if you definitely don't want to ride her and are happy with someone else looking after her, then loaning is the sensible option.

if you think you are going to worry and unable to let go (which you do need to, otherwise you won't find someone to loan'share with you looking over their shoulder all the time) then a clean break is best.

remember that your feelings are secondary to podge's welfare, so take them out of the equation. sit down cold bloodedly and think about what situation is going ot be best for podge.
 
i'd go for a share, you'll get used to it, its a bit like putting your child into nursery! you can always just not be there when the sharer is there and pretend he is not being shared! at least then he is getting the stimulation he needs while you still have your precious horse and don't need to feel they are not doing enough.

i loaned my mare and missed her dreadfully. i would never forgive myself if I sold, so now I am just making sure she is getting ridden. either by me or someone else. i've had her too long now to let go.
 
It depends if you think you will ride again. Its hard to bite the bullet and put a horse up for sale but once its done, its done. If you think you would deal badly with someone else riding him then maybe its best to sell BUT if you think you would like to get back on board one day and that sharing/loaning might not be so bad then give it a go. If you find the right person, it could work out really well.

Stella2 said:
I am selling her now that Flora has apparantly recovered (she is sold all but the passing over of the cash), but although a very nice mare, that magic wasn't there between us so it isn't difficult.
Click to expand...

Wow, have I missed a tonne of threads?? Thats great news, im really happy for you and Flora :)
 
I'd try and give it a go with a sharer / loaner before you do anything else. With the right person you could have the best of both worlds and none of the heartache of having to let him go.

If you do let him go I'd think very carefully about getting Stubley involved, I don't doubt for a moment that Patsy would drive a very hard bargain.
 
I'd try a share first. I had to get a sharer for my horse and at first i hated it and made my dad drive me to the yard everyday to see Pride anyway even when he had already been seen to. Now, I get on really well with the woman who shares Pride and completely trust her. Make sure you leave time to get to know the sharer, it helps you feel a bit better about them looking after your horse!

I also know a few people looking for loans in sheffield, let me know if you want any details :)
 
Yann said:
I'd try and give it a go with a sharer / loaner before you do anything else. With the right person you could have the best of both worlds and none of the heartache of having to let him go.

If you do let him go I'd think very carefully about getting Stubley involved, I don't doubt for a moment that Patsy would drive a very hard bargain.
Click to expand...

Ditto that. :)

Try the share route and if it really really doesn't work out then look for other options. I always recognise you as you and Podge, don't give up just yet ;) xxx
 
Last edited:
I think I am going to try all my options first, share/loan. I think to begin with a share would be a good indicator to if i can do it.

I still have to do Minnie anyway so it does not matter than I have to do half the time at all.

I dont want to let him go I love him to death, so if i see it as share him or lose him then it will make me let go slightly. I just worry that said sharer will be mean to him and scare him...:rolleyes:

Millie and pride, let me know about the people looking... i am nearer worksop than sheffield 18+ as must drive for where the horses are...:)

Thanks for support and advice... i will keep you all updated:)
 
Last edited:
can I just say that please don't feel you HAVE to do something with your horse there isn't anything in writing that says you must ride them x amounts times a week, you must go out a compete with them, yes this is fine for lots of people, but if you enjoy being with your horse, giving him attention, grooming him, who's to say this isn't enough when you're a horse owner, most horses wouldn't say to their owner please please please ride me, lots of horses woukd love the life your horse has, you dont need to feel guilty for not doing more.

if you still feel this is wrong, I would def agree look for a sharer, it doesn't matter if your around for a while when the sharer is there you dont have to stay away just because its the sharers turn with your horse, your the owner so you have overal say!

hope you can get the situation clear in your mind and that your able to make the right decision for YOU and no-one else.
 
I only saw this thread now, and thought I would copy&paste what I said to a friend of mine the other day when she was agonising over the same problem:

A wise person once said to me, that when you open doors, opportunities will arise.
I fought long and hard to forge a relationship with Chicane (my TB in South Africa, I now live in the UK fulltime and had to make the horrible decision to sell him on).
He came from a home where he wasnt beaten, but was certainly abused (regarding the what he was expected to do, and how much of it).
When I bought him, I felt that I could be the one to teach him that humans CAN and ARE intrinsically good.
I did that, and I did it well! He blossomed into a different horse! He gained a confidence within himself, he didnt have before. It allowed him to see 'through' any pain he was going through at the time (we fought a continuing battle with Degenerative Joint Disease, together and seemed to have found a medium that allowed him to work and not be in pain) to a better future...
Having helped him achieve this, gave him a place in my heart that NO ONE will ever take away.
He is, and always will be, the Keeper of my Heart.

The decision to move to the UK was not one I took lightly. It was hard. It was done to help me further myself along in business, and of course the money's better.
Being here for awhile before I made the decision to sell Chicane, because it was in his best interest to sel, allowed me to look at my relationship with Chicane in a different light.
While I still believe I had something to GIVE him, he was brought into MY life to help me...
When I realised that, and looked at our riding track-record just before I left, I came to the startling realisation that he had DONE what he had been brought into my life to do.
It was time to allow myself the RIGHT to say 'Thank you', and 'Goodbye, my friend'...
I had to allow myself to see that he needed to move on... he needed to help other ppl, like he had helped me!

When I opened that door... with a pure heart (and MANY MANY tears) and a compassionate outlook, Chicane allowed someone else to come into his life!
He has found himself part of a family I thought I could only have ever dreamed he would find himself part of!
They ALL adore him!
He has more love and attention I could ever have given him. They also have more funds to keep him sound, and without pain (he is now having cortisone injections, and special titanium shoes etc).
He is now getting ready to start training and competing again! Nothing massive... but he's getting there! And I keep in contact with them every month...

What you have to try and do is allow YOURSELF to live without guilt in letting your horse go!
Im sure he knows you love him... that will never be in question! But maybe its time for you to be brave and allow him to move on so that he can help 'heal' other ppl!
It then opens your path to allow someone else to help you along!

Worst case scenario you find a wonderful full-loaner for him, best case you find him a home where he will be loved as much, but preferably more than you have and always will!
 
Jo,

I am looking into all my options, 1st one being a share..

If i want to keep him then i need to get over my possesiveness... which I have, it dawned on me that its what i need to do for me and him to stay together.

There are developments on the share front but to early to tell.. but will spill when i can...:)

Lawlessmisyd , thank you for posting..its such a lovely post:)
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
newrider.com
Top Bottom
Back