MIL is off again....

Trewsers

Trewsers

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Oct 13, 2004
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Some of you on here might remember my prev posts about mil. She is what you might call a "smother in law" in that she insists on knowing our whereabouts 24/7. Over the years I have let her get away with it but at 42 I think it is time for change! I have been trying to wean her off her daily visits (sometimes twice!) and not responding to her constant texting. Well today I have had quite a busy and stressy day. OH had too. Anyways long story short whilst we were out and about sorting lots of things out (work) she has been texting all day demanding to know what we are doing etc. Last straw she sends an iritating text which I could not ignore saying she was coming over!!! So I had to reply as we weren't even home plus I did not relish thoughts of her sitting on doorstep when I got home tired etc. So annoyed as I thought she would take the hint but no - she is still as bad as ever! She treats us like we are 15!!!! OH is sick of her interfering but as I feel cannot think how to handle it.
Before anybody thinks I am mean - she isn't a sweet little old lady - she does not look her age and drives / goes out for meals / still works part time etc.
Sorry for rant but I needed to get it off my chest! I know there are more important things in life but I am just sacked off with her nosey ways. I feel like I can't breathe - its stiffling at times!
Ok will stop now......
 
Oh dear trews.I don't know how you cope with her.I would have seen red a long time ago.
Was she actually sat waiting for you to get home?
Feel free to rant here..better to get it off your chest than harbour your annoyance.
 
I don't blame you at all. I certainly would not want to see someone arriving immediately after I got home or waiting either.

OH really needs to strap a pair on and tell her ...............!!!

Still, showing me the control I can have over my own son in years to come!!!!!
 
Lol I am sure in years to come you will all be good mother in laws!!! No, she didn't turn up as I managed to deflect her ......!! She will be on the doorstep tomorrow tho I am sure - probably just after OH gets back from the dentists! Oh dear. Don't get me wrong she isn't all bad but she drives us nuts - she is what you might call controlling. For example - she likes to dictate what happens when her daughter visits with her kids - ie she likes to tell OH and I what we are doing to entertain them all! We had a falling out one year as OH was ill but she still insisted on turning up for the day!
Sometimes you just need time alone as a couple but she can't see that - she thinks we are odd!!!!
Ah well one of these days..
 
Oh, poor Trews. Still maintain Mr Trews needs to tell her.

On purely selfish note, am pleased really that Mr's find it hard to control their mothers!!!

Must be nightmare!
 
Oooo my gauuuwdddd! Trews how on earth do you cope with that?

I would of lost my temper years ago, it just doesnt seem healthy to be that obsessive with you & Mr Trews!! :unsure:

Would Mr Trews have a proper heart to heart chat with her and tell her just to give you both a bit of space? although im guessing you've probably tried that before? :redcarded:
 
It's down to your OH I'm afraid. She won't know she's out of order unless she's told.

My dad used to turn up unexpectedly and walk straight in through the back door. I told him once he was lucky as if he'd been 2 mins earlier he'd have caught us so could he please ring before coming round in future. He wouldn't have but it did the trick!
 
Lol to Mr's struggling with their mothers! Hehe. My brothers don't tho but I guess it depends.... My own mum is very quiet and so never has much conflict - she likes a quiet life....
 
I don't honestly know if it would make a difference if he had a chat about it with her. She might just get upset and get worse! She never takes much notice of me - but then again OH did tell her a while back to ring before just turning up but she does not like ringing and still prefers a surprise visit if she can!
 
Praps just don't answer when she turns up unannounced. Curtains drawn and doors locked?
 
Trews you must be a saint, and your blood worth bottling. I would go batsh*t with a MIL like that. I know if my mother lived here she'd be like that, always calling in and suprise visits, it would do my head in. Daily visits ? God I'd have gone beserk at the OH years ago. But I am not known for my tact or diplomacy, blame the Australian in me :eek:
 
Oh lord we all have our crosses to bear (chuckle). Maybe she is worried about Mr T and his illness?

She maybe still sees you as kids, my mum does, I am 54 and my mum is 86, fair play she dosen't bother us but...... worry shes the worlds worst lol.

I don't have a mother in law, she died the year before I met my husband. She haunts me though. yes really! not in a bad way. His dad did remarry because she died young 48 I think cancer. His 'new' wife and I do not see eye to eye big time, we do not speak at all, we fell out years ago. I bought Cherie(pic in avator) from a gypsy. i didn't know him but someone in my head (my dead MIL) said to me he was new wifes nephew. So I rang 'new wife' and said do you have a nephew who is a gypsy and can I have his number, she went ape and we haven't spoken since, this really is true. She didn't give me his number but true as life it was him, we made freinds and I got the pony:smile: We really haven't spoken again, I don't go to the house or anything 11 years on. I still have my pony and she is ace:smile:
 
Thanks for the replies! Lol after a while I learnt to just let it all go over my head! I have ways and means of avoiding her but it does gall me when she turns up unannounced and I am trying to have a nap (love a nap mid afternoon on Sunday!lol)
She has loads of friends and lots of relatives that live close but she still seems bored enough to want to plague us non stop! She interferes for fun too - she looks to see how full the wash basket is and starts asking if I want her to take it home and wash it! You could say that was kind but it gets on my nerves - I am 42 and more than capable of doing the washing!!!! She also used to try and do the ironing! I hate people interfering like that - thankfullyy own mother shows no interest!!!
 
Play her at her own game and pop in on her. Then she has no need to come round. Or say you are busy that week but would she like to come round for a meal on such and such day :giggle:
 
Poor you! I can totally understand how stiffling that must be!!

....maybe next time she turns up, you and Mr Trews could sit by the door (but out of sight) and make "noises" in same line as Joyscarer's post, you might scare her out of spontaneous visits!
 
bitsnpieces said:
....maybe next time she turns up, you and Mr Trews could sit by the door (but out of sight) and make "noises" in same line as Joyscarer's post, you might scare her out of spontaneous visits!
Click to expand...

Think my mum was put off unplanned visits when a similar incident to the above happened a couple of years ago :redface:

I would have lost it a long time ago...our parents don't visit us much but they do moan when we don't go and see them enough :bounce:
 
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