hi -taking lessons on someone elses horse, learning because my granddaughter is a rider and i want to bond with her and my daughter. I am taking lessons and i do more in my lessons then I do in practice as i feel more comfortable with my teacher watching. I have already told her i just want to work on being more comfortable and secure. I do a small bit of cantering over poles and small (very) jumps. Do I perfect something before i move on - or do i go out of my comfort zone for lessons. I only ride 2 times a week. I do feel i am improving and the horse is very good and nice. I have a bit of fear and am working on that, although the fear is usually more before, cause during the lesson and riding I"m trying hard!
lessons - how far out of comfort zone should i go
- Thread starter grandmarider
- Start date
I would say that there are no such rules when it comes to riding. If you want to just stay in walk and never progress to anything more, that is absolutely fine. if you want to go eventing and jump BE100 courses, that is fine too. It's your leisure time afterall and just do what makes you happy.
My horse is perfectly capable for jumping much higher than I wish. I happily jump 60cm and perhaps 70cm if I am feeling really, really brave, but I have no inclination to jump higher than that. My horse could happily do it, but what's the point if my heart isn't in it?
My horse is perfectly capable for jumping much higher than I wish. I happily jump 60cm and perhaps 70cm if I am feeling really, really brave, but I have no inclination to jump higher than that. My horse could happily do it, but what's the point if my heart isn't in it?
Only you know the answer to that one @grandmarider - would you feel comfortable going out of your comfort zone in a lesson? Personally I like to understand something really well before I move on as it were but we are all very different, as long as you have the basics in place and you feel you want to push yourself a bit then why not?
I have told her before that i just want to work on confidence and being more peaceful. She is a bit younger and it is hard for younger people to not want to push forward. Its hard for me sometimes to speak up! I would like to enjoy riding and be peaceful!
I would tell her exactly what you want! You are the customer after all. There are riders at my RS who are very gung ho and the head RI is totally fab at inspiring them to do more than they thought they could and giving them confidence. But that is because they WANT to push themselves and be pushed. There are other riders who want to stay firmly within their comfort zone and others who are perfectionists and want to focus on - say - flatwork or dressage. Plus there are the owner/riders who often want to work on a particular issue with the horse. That same RI will adjust her style and expectations to suit.
Before I got my own horse I used to have a weekly lesson with a RI who at the time I thought was great. He really pushed me to do everything. We were jumping 2ft 9 XC fences and galloping all over the countryside. I had my lessons on a Wednesday evening and used to start worrying about them on a Sunday. By Wednesday daytime I was a nervous wreck. I would do the lesson, feel amazing and very high afterwards, and then go home and worry about the next week. Looking back I have no idea why I did it! I was terrified most of the time but it is very hard to say no to someone who wants you to achieve and I didn't want to dissapoint my teacher who had kind of made me his project to improve my confidence. I guess I would have been very boring to teach if I had done what I wanted to do (i.e. go slowly!).
When I got my horse (4 and a half years ago), one of the best things was that I could do exactly what I wanted to. We spent many hours just in walk to start with and it probably looked very boring to everyone else. I didn't jump him or have any lessons for 2 years, I just pottered about on him with no pressure from anyone. Gradually we started to do more, but it was because I wanted to and not because someone was pushing me. I trusted my horse and I felt safe. It is much nicer to ride a horse on your terms because you want to, not because someone is pushing you.
My advice would be to have a frank talk with your teacher, or get another one. I am now lucky enough to have my own lorry so I box my horse out to lessons and clinics. I am very fussy about who I have a lesson with because the instructor needs to listen to what I want to do, and not try and make me do things I don't want to do. It's supposed to be fun at the end of the day, life is far too full of stresses to add to them.
When I got my horse (4 and a half years ago), one of the best things was that I could do exactly what I wanted to. We spent many hours just in walk to start with and it probably looked very boring to everyone else. I didn't jump him or have any lessons for 2 years, I just pottered about on him with no pressure from anyone. Gradually we started to do more, but it was because I wanted to and not because someone was pushing me. I trusted my horse and I felt safe. It is much nicer to ride a horse on your terms because you want to, not because someone is pushing you.
My advice would be to have a frank talk with your teacher, or get another one. I am now lucky enough to have my own lorry so I box my horse out to lessons and clinics. I am very fussy about who I have a lesson with because the instructor needs to listen to what I want to do, and not try and make me do things I don't want to do. It's supposed to be fun at the end of the day, life is far too full of stresses to add to them.
thanks for the support...
i am going to my lesson today and will tell the teacher - that i would like to work on being confident (again!) and even beginning skills are fine for me to learn (like trotting, cantering and pole work!) I wish i was braver and less nervous and i know the horse can feel it - i had a period of alot of falling off and i had to take a step back and start over with lunge line etc.... i want to be peaceful and enjoy my time!
i am going to my lesson today and will tell the teacher - that i would like to work on being confident (again!) and even beginning skills are fine for me to learn (like trotting, cantering and pole work!) I wish i was braver and less nervous and i know the horse can feel it - i had a period of alot of falling off and i had to take a step back and start over with lunge line etc.... i want to be peaceful and enjoy my time!
I had a similar experience I was getting pushed a bit too hard and fast and on bigger jumps than I felt comfortable at. I actually got to dread lesson days.
A lot of it was she set up a "course" and did not tweek it for people thru the lesson day/.
Every lesson should have been tailored for the person in any particular lesson.
I was not good at speaking up!!
Definitely Speak up!!
I have thought about this thread a lot as I am one who also learned to ride as a Granny. My impulse was to write that I havent ever done anything that frightened me on a horse and especially never in a lesson - Chose very slow and careful teachers, and saw too many younger beginners who were pushed out of their comfort zone.
So yes an adult student is to some extent in charge of what they do and can guide the teacher and say no to anything that scares them.
However that is not really an honest answer. There is no compulsion to canter - and certainly not until one is well-balanced in the saddle and both you and the RI feel you are ready. Which might include having control of both brakes and steering.
However canter may well make the student less secure in the saddle, so the risk is increased. After I learned to canter, I might still be uncertain whether or not I really wanted to do it - and the girl who took me out in those days said, "Skib, you dont learn to canter by not cantering". This is very true. One can learn things little by little but unless one practises them they will not become easy.
So although the decision to play safe rests with the adult student - so does any decision about learning things that carry a slightly higher risk. I cantered happilly out in the open but for years and years I hated canter in the indoor school. Eventually I booked lessons especially to learn how to canter in the indoor school. And yes I was frightened. But I had paid good money to be taught and when the RI asked me if I wanted to canter, I was resolute and did it.
I learned these skills (against my inclination) because in the UK if one goes to a new RS or goes to try out a horse, a rider needs to be able to ride a hithertoo unknown horse in walk, trot or canter in a school. So that was my objective. I ride out with many young people taking their BHS stages and they are encouraged to get extra tuition for the things they find hard. The RI who taught me to canter in the indoor school went through all the other things that scared me - like trotting over poles - and drilled them till I knew how to do them and they were no longer a worry.
People always say that it may be more relaxed for adults to learn to ride out hacking as I did. But thinking about your question, I realised this morning that out hacking one can at any moment come across something (a barking dog) that may make one nervous and one has to cope with it - handle the horse as best one can and that develops one's riding skills. Thus it is the lessons week after week, year after year that create one's competence. If you give up worrying about speedy progress in your lessons, you will eventually surprise yourself.
Learning how to ride is not a process that can be concluded. Elderly riders may outlive their horses and have to adapt to new ones. I feel much happier now that I have had some fast rides on my new hack and encountered a few excitements. May be I wouldnt have been on those rides and revived my skills if it had not been for an RI with good judgement - an RI who knows the horse and who knows the rider may make wiser decisions than the older student who is wavering.
The deciding factor in all these situations is not the communication between student and RI, it is the ease of communication between the older learner and the horse. It is that which will make you feel safe.
So yes an adult student is to some extent in charge of what they do and can guide the teacher and say no to anything that scares them.
However that is not really an honest answer. There is no compulsion to canter - and certainly not until one is well-balanced in the saddle and both you and the RI feel you are ready. Which might include having control of both brakes and steering.
However canter may well make the student less secure in the saddle, so the risk is increased. After I learned to canter, I might still be uncertain whether or not I really wanted to do it - and the girl who took me out in those days said, "Skib, you dont learn to canter by not cantering". This is very true. One can learn things little by little but unless one practises them they will not become easy.
So although the decision to play safe rests with the adult student - so does any decision about learning things that carry a slightly higher risk. I cantered happilly out in the open but for years and years I hated canter in the indoor school. Eventually I booked lessons especially to learn how to canter in the indoor school. And yes I was frightened. But I had paid good money to be taught and when the RI asked me if I wanted to canter, I was resolute and did it.
I learned these skills (against my inclination) because in the UK if one goes to a new RS or goes to try out a horse, a rider needs to be able to ride a hithertoo unknown horse in walk, trot or canter in a school. So that was my objective. I ride out with many young people taking their BHS stages and they are encouraged to get extra tuition for the things they find hard. The RI who taught me to canter in the indoor school went through all the other things that scared me - like trotting over poles - and drilled them till I knew how to do them and they were no longer a worry.
People always say that it may be more relaxed for adults to learn to ride out hacking as I did. But thinking about your question, I realised this morning that out hacking one can at any moment come across something (a barking dog) that may make one nervous and one has to cope with it - handle the horse as best one can and that develops one's riding skills. Thus it is the lessons week after week, year after year that create one's competence. If you give up worrying about speedy progress in your lessons, you will eventually surprise yourself.
Learning how to ride is not a process that can be concluded. Elderly riders may outlive their horses and have to adapt to new ones. I feel much happier now that I have had some fast rides on my new hack and encountered a few excitements. May be I wouldnt have been on those rides and revived my skills if it had not been for an RI with good judgement - an RI who knows the horse and who knows the rider may make wiser decisions than the older student who is wavering.
The deciding factor in all these situations is not the communication between student and RI, it is the ease of communication between the older learner and the horse. It is that which will make you feel safe.
Agree with all of the above. I didn't start riding until I was 60 (9 years ago) so was never very confident. I have progressed at my own rate (being scared to canter for literally years!). I would describe myself as a "happy hacker" - I'm not competitive and have no wish to jump huge fences. I like to feel comfortable but, at the same time, some weeks I like to feel that I've "achieved" - even if it's just some pole work or perfecting turns on the forehand for instance. I would say, go with how you feel, as you have been doing.
I dont have anything extra to add really, just to say when I was younger I would have loved my nan to come and ride with me, even if it was just to go for a walk together, how ever much you decide to push yourself I'm sure your granddaughter will thoroughly enjoy any horsey time you spend with her 
Thanks for all your replies - it is always something to learn and work on. Last week at my lesson i did well and told my instructor that i didn't want to do jumps and just work on the poles. I think they aren't used to hearing that as kids want to canter on their first lesson! My granddaughter and I go on "trail rides" . It is a large property and it has wooded areas and fields that we can go about. My lessons are teaching me about proper technique, how to stop/put my hands/start up the canter, count strides... i practice once a week and i don't do as much as in my lesson. She knows that - and realizes i am more comfortable with someone instructing me while i do difficult things, like telling me to sit back or put my hands out.
2 times a week? lucky. I can't afford that. SOMETIMES rarely do I ride twice in one week. Usually once a week. I started jumping before I even mastered the canter. As long as you aren't terrified and feel like you can do it try it! But push yourself to much you will end up on the ground. Take care
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