Lack of driving confidence and other stuff

mystiquemalaika

Well-Known Member
Jan 7, 2013
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So,I have been riding a moped for years,I loved it was my baby,I was always happy,comfortable,felt safe and confident on it,my fear has always been cars.
Well my moped died a few months ago and I had to learn to drive a car,passed my test all good but I'm still scared to death in the car.today I drove to the rvi hospital in newcastle as it will help my dad out.my mum is going to have to go 2 times a week for 12 weeks so I said I'd do 1 day.I have never drove their before add that to my complete fear in the car and my dad,well cue one very stressed,worried nervous wreck that ended up in tears most of the day.my dad has little to no patience and cannot understand why I am as scared in the car,I have tried explaining and told him he doesn't need to understand just accept please.well he chewed my ear off for going to slow,was harassing me to overtake and basically made me feel like crap.I'm only doing this to help him out as its nearly 100 mile round trip but feel like a total failure.
On top of this my job is getting beyond a joke,I'm having the p**s taken out of me as I'm the only one they trust to do all the extra,now I have to do banking aswel,I'm doing 10 times more than everyone else and payed the same!
Worried sick about my mum,its nothing serious but she is getting down and there is nothing I can do to help which is killing me as all I want to do is help her.
Sorry bit of a rant but can't really talk to anyone about this and was hoping someone might have some tips on driving nerves?
On a good note,went tithe yard with my little dog harry and spent some time with malaika and they always make me feel better bless them.
 
Last edited:

joosie

lifelong sufferer of restless brain syndrome
Oct 28, 2004
7,001
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New Zealand
I feel your pain. I am so scared of driving I haven't even learned yet! - I have just been putting it off for years and years. I'm 28 this summer.
 

mystiquemalaika

Well-Known Member
Jan 7, 2013
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I'm 28 this year,been on the moped best part of 6 years,never worried,its the car,I feel so scared in it,I feel trapped and claustrophobic,its a great chunk of metal that I'm inside and It scares me to death,I would like to say its traffic of something simple but I was ok with traffic on the moped,its the actual car.I can normally work these things out and get through them but 5 months on and I'm no better :(
 

annareeves0

Active Member
Dec 18, 2007
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Bournemouth, Dorset
I too don't like driving. For me the longer I have had a car the better I get to know it so the more confident I get. I've currently had this car 4 years and love it - I can reverse into spaces etc and its a huge car but its taken me a looonnnggg time!
I think it was great you spoke to your dad about it even if he didn't feel able to listen. Worrying about your mum isn't helping anyone's stress :(

My previous car broke down virtually every time I left town and in the end I got really anxious about driving anywhere. There was a course I REALLY wanted to do that meant I had to drive a 50 mile round trip in the dark once a week. Once I became familiar with the route my confidence grew and eventually I got over the anxieties.

Today was the first stressful journey. Once you've done it a few times you'll relax and it's a great way to get some solid driving experience under your belt. Try and encourage your dad to read or listen to his favourite radio station and turn it up! Do what you feel able even if its slow and your confidence will build.

It's great and really helpful of you to support your parents through this. Don't let their impatience put you off :)
 

OwnedbyChanter

With out my boys life would be bland
Apr 16, 2009
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Raininghamshire
Nothing wrong with be scared to drive, there are a lot of unhelpful, rude and dangerous drivers on the road. Do you have one of those green P plates. They will not help your nerves but it makes other drives more aware that you only recently passed you test.

As for you dad he is being a normally male not listening but giving unwanted advise. I feel your pain. I would tell him to shut up if he does not want your help he can do all the driving himself that's fine by you. I hope your mother is OK my thoughts are with you.

As for work tell them, enough is enough it's more money or less work.

Chin up honey and go cuddle your lovely horse again.
 

Oldarida

Member
Nov 9, 2011
217
8
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Merseyside
Now that the weather is getting better, try driving with your window open - the breeze might make you feel a bit less 'enclosed' & more in touch with the rest of the world IYSWIM.
Consider taking an advanced driving course, they will help you to feel more connected to the car & more in control.

Work-wise, could you perhaps ask if someone else could take some of the extra tasks temporarily, just while you've got so much going on with your mum etc. With a bit of luck it will soon become the norm & you won't have to do so much in the future.

As for your dad, tell him to either do his own driving or shut the f*** up!

Best wishes to your mum.
 

Wally

Well-Known Member
Apr 16, 2000
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I had my bike test way before my car test.Back in the early 80s I took my car test. I could navigate for miles and avoid all traffic islands, and right hand turns.
 

mystiquemalaika

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Jan 7, 2013
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Thank you so much guys,I really appriciate the advice and support.
Obc I am going to purchase some green p's and put them on.
I will also do the window down bow its dry as that will help I think with the while feeling claustrophobic thing.
I have a holiday in 3 weeks got 10 days off and am going to go for some drives only own at my pace to try and get more confidence without any body telling me what I should be doing.
Thank you so much again x
 

Wally

Well-Known Member
Apr 16, 2000
35,300
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Thank you so much guys,I really appriciate the advice and support.
Obc I am going to purchase some green p's and put them on.
I will also do the window down bow its dry as that will help I think with the while feeling claustrophobic thing.
I have a holiday in 3 weeks got 10 days off and am going to go for some drives only own at my pace to try and get more confidence without any body telling me what I should be doing.
Thank you so much again x

LOL, I had a thing about windscreens. I felt the windscreen was never clean enough to give me a proper view of what happening. I'd spend hours cleaning it. Never happy with it.
 

Trewsers

Well-Known Member
Oct 13, 2004
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On an island
I have been driving since 1992 and still avoid certain things - motorways are one! I will go on them with OH but not alone! Only exception is a short stretch to my parents house which is over before you know it! When I first passed I was quite anxious at times - I am sure that's normal. Practice helps - and I found doing as much driving as poss helped - with other people to bolster my confidence. I don't drive as much now - we only pootle into town twice a week as work from home. OH does any long distance driving when going on site etc.
Sorry to hear your mum needs the hospital - it's a worry for you I am sure. As already suggested those green l plates might be a good idea?
 

Skib

Well-Known Member
Dec 21, 2003
8,329
1,747
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London
How nice to discover I am not the only one. yes I drive fine now and have done for years.
But I rode a scooter in my youth and hated the idea of a car - the steering on a car is harder. More like a horse as it has four corners.
Can I cheer you up by saying that riding the mo-ped will have taught you all the road skills you need to drive a car well. My scooter did. You are expert at all that already.
Drive the way you want to in your car. if other people seem to be driving badly or taking risks, you are probably right: they are.
Relatives are not good people to teach you to drive. get rid of your father. Women dont drive like men anyway. That's why we have fewer accidents.

Can you go a test drive on your own to the hospital so you can see how it feels? Dont feel you have to commit to taking your Mum - not if you are truly scared. May be your Dad would rather take charge and do it anyway?
But I would anyway suggest you keep driving short easy drives, just to keep your skills. Otherwise you might lose the good driving sense you clearly have.
 

Wally

Well-Known Member
Apr 16, 2000
35,300
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Can I cheer you up by saying that riding the mo-ped will have taught you all the road skills you need to drive a car well. My scooter did. You are expert at all that already.
Drive the way you want to in your car. if other people seem to be driving badly or taking risks, you are probably right: they are.
Relatives are not good people to teach you to drive. get rid of your father. Women dont drive like men anyway. That's why we have fewer accidents.

Can you go a test drive on your own to the hospital so you can see how it feels? Dont feel you have to commit to taking your Mum - not if you are truly scared. May be your Dad would rather take charge and do it anyway?
But I would anyway suggest you keep driving short easy drives, just to keep your skills. Otherwise you might lose the good driving sense you clearly have.

Agree with this, I can insure a CBF 1000 fireblade and some fairly fast cars for a song, because I am female, lots of no claims (touch wood never made a car claim) a biker is 10 time more aware of the road and behaviour of other drivers around them.
 
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