In a pickle


New Member
Jun 7, 2021
I’m sorry this may be a bit long winded but I feel the background info is important.
I got my first pony in 1984, a pb Arab mare who was as hot headed as they come. Despite that, I used to hack for hours on my own, did some small shows- loading was not her strong point! Generally had the best childhood ever with her.
In 1987 she had a foal , I broke him myself and despite him being an incredibly sensitive soul and sharp as a pin our bond was unique. His biggest issue was that I could not leave him on his own, not at all under any circumstances , he would lose the plot.
When my daughter started riding she started out on my mare, who has mellowed enough to not totally disgrace herself at pony club. I started to tow and get into events. Soon, we got my daughter her Connemara as my girl was not up for the harder work anymore. I drove my daughter and her pony all over the place for various events.
So, fast forward to now and both my lovelies have gone over the rainbow bridge. My boy about 18 months ago. I’d thought I wouldn’t get another but 6 months without and I knew I needed to. We still have my daughters Connie and had moved to a sole use yard as I found the bullying on livery yards too much. I was shocked at how much horses were selling for and resigned myself to the fact I’d never be able to afford another one.
Then a pony came up with a local charity, she was too small at only 12.3 bit stocky , when I went to see her I was smitten. She’s been with us just over a year now.
I made a point of riding her out on my own quite soon after she arrived, she was like a coiled spring and I felt nervous. I then realised she was so different to my hot headed Arabs and had an instructor come out, she long reigned and did ground work, all was going well until she spooked at some dumped cushions and bolted.
Ive ridden her out with my daughter lots and also led my grandson out on her and she has been at worst spooky but nothing awful.
The only time I’ve taken her out on my own since is when a friend walked with me, we also now have the issue that my daughters Connie really creates when we leave him on his own , the last time I’d ridden my boy on my own the Connie had actually managed to jump out of his stable. I do have a stable mirror to go up to see if that will help.
So all that background was to say, I’m not inexperienced or new to horses but I am nervous to ride alone, because 1, I don’t know what she’ll do and 2, I worry about the Connie getting out.
I have nowhere to school and currently do not have towing / travelling options,even if I did I’d still need to leave the Connie. The thought of towing actually makes me nervous now.
With our different work schedules and my grandson, both me and my daughter can’t always ride and I feel like I’m back with my old boy where they have to do everything as a pair. My pony does stay stabled whilst my daughter rides, just calls a bit. I do t feel moving to a bigger yard is an option as when I left the last one I was about ready to give up horses as the bullies were so bad.
I’m at a loss as how to proceed.


Well-Known Member
Nov 11, 2018
That is a hell of a pickle - so sorry you got bullied in the bigger yard. I've not had the experience of what's happening with your connie with separation anxiety, but I'm sure others here will have good advice. Hang tight - it'll be do-able.
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Well-Known Member
Dec 20, 2004
Suffolk, UK
Blimey it’s hard sometimes, especially when you’re on your own place.

I shan’t tell you that I got my companion a companion when he suddenly developed seperation anxiety 🤦‍♀️ It kind of worked, but it was specifically my mare that Hank was attached to, so not completely.

The escaping would really worry me, would he be better out in the field so he can move about? I’d definitely try the mirror but maybe look at a full door grill that you can lift in/out as needed so he can see out but not jump out. At least solving that would be one thing less for you to worry about.
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Jane&Sid these days!
Apr 30, 2010
Surrey Hills
I think if I was in your position I would see if I had enough land to get a (possibly tiny) permanent field companion, so no horse is ever left behind. I have 2, one ridden and one not, and both of them call and behave like prats when the other goes out: not as badly as your Connie, but enough that I worry sometimes about them hurting themselves by hoolying, especially the old boy. I would have another if it didn't have cost implications.

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