I think I can name my fear (at last)

Dizzy Woo

Well-Known Member
Apr 20, 2008
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Dorset
Napping - plain and simple, after going over and over the last year and how far I have fallen from my once confident self, I do beleive thats what all my fear is about.
Its so stupid that I can ride Daisy on my own on the common and not be bothered but its the getting there that freaks me.
I just cant bring myself to ride down my lane.
OH was walking with me last week but he kept stopping to 'chat' to Bentley and Daisy would wait for him or get a bit shifty if I made her go on and I just cant take it, off I jump and lead her in hand to the common or to my lesson.
I overcame her bolting the other day by going out the next day on my own and riding her through where she had bolted from. I think once I am away from her home turf I am fine. Its just this flippin napping, which I may add she has done 3 times in over 4 years.
I have now worked out in my silly little head that the only way to overcome this fear is for her to nap and for me to ride her through it but the minute she started to dither on my lane I was off.

How do I overcome this.

I am thinking Daisy needs to trust me more but apart form these isolated incidents she is as good as gold, my worries are causing the dithering and her dithering casued me to worry.

I think I need to grow a pair.:banghead:
 
Are you worried about what will happen when you push her on? Does anything particularly bad happen or is it the "what ifs"? I have come to the conclusion that you have to absolutely 100 percent believe that they will do as you ask - and really believe in yourself because they really do pick up on the slightest of hesitations. They are all different of course and some horses forgive nervous nellies like me and get on with their job anyway. Others seize upon it!!
 
I agree totally with trewsers. My fear is napping too. I can go show jumping or hack with friends but I can't go on a short hack on my own ( embarrassed!) I agree it is something where we will just have to pick a day we feel über confident and just do it - and another day - and another day -- preferably in a row. My fear with Harvey is when he naps he rears and although it diesn't really scare me I don't like it !!! But I know the more I go through it the less he will do it!
 
Are you worried about what will happen when you push her on?

I cant get to the push on bit, I jump off, I seem to remember doing battle with her a couple of times over the past when she thought she was going home but we weren't, she started backing up which was a bit unerving but I did get over that one, I suppose I am frightened she is going to spin round - thats how I came off. I know I am being a complete plonker and its got to be mind over matter.
Tonight I decided the lane was not going to get the better of us, I said to daughter I am going up and down the lane for the next hour, thought I would lead her in hand first. I was not worried or nervous at all, in hand I am fine over all things with her, anyhow she was not ok at all and it took us a long time to get down the lane with Daisy stopping at nearly every step, we persevered and managed to do it a few times in the end and she became her usual dopy self but it made me realise its not just my problem, Daisy has a real problem with 'the lane'too, probably picked up on my nerves over the past few months - we will keep going on that lane now until we are absolutely fed up with the flippin thing
 
I agree totally with trewsers. My fear is napping too. I can go show jumping or hack with friends but I can't go on a short hack on my own ( embarrassed!) I agree it is something where we will just have to pick a day we feel über confident and just do it - and another day - and another day -- preferably in a row. My fear with Harvey is when he naps he rears and although it diesn't really scare me I don't like it !!! But I know the more I go through it the less he will do it!

I can't hack alone either!!!! Tobes naps a bit. I am growing more confident and the other day in the yard when he napped (only slightly as in, no I am not going forward) I belted him one on the backside with the crop :hot: (And this is going out with other people but him in the front position, or going down to the school.)

Whilst he didn't like it very much, he did move forward. However, that particular day I think he had been stroppy whilst I was tacking up and I was just fed up of him, so strapped a pair on in my own strop I guess!

Tobes doesn't rear, but he does buck, and quite big!!!
 
If I don't hack alone I won't get to go out that much, I'm not on a yard, just a field with my daughter. There are a couple of people I go out with but not often enough for me, plus, I love hacking alone - its just getting there!
Guess I am just grumping, now I have pinpointed
my problem I should be able to get over it with time
 
Dizzy woo -- this is actually quite straightforward -- you need an alternative to just pushing her on -- this is a technique issue --

happy to share some ideas if you give me a quick call -- am working from home Tuesday so half an hour should give you some ideas!!


Cathy

Cathy, if you are willing I would LOVE that kind of help too. I have a similar problem to Dizzywoo with napping on the lane outside our yard. My horse spins on the spot and has been known to trot off at speed. As I had an incident of him bolting with me when I first got him (18ths ago), I find it hard to deal with as I'm worried that as soon as he naps he may run with me. Vicious circle I know and we have come a long way since then but recent saddle/shoulder issues caused the napping to worsen so I'm desperate to move things forward now.
 
update on facing my fear

Well after Cathys kind offer, gave her a call and she spoke to me about flexing Daisy's head to the left and right when she seems tense and not to get off but to wait for Daisy to relax before moving on.
Easy I thought, she bends round for a treat when I get on (if she stands still) this will be no problem. But it didn't really work out, she didn't seem to know what I wanted and I didn't know how to ask her - neither of us is the brightest banana in the bunch:tongue:
Anyhow lesson was on friday but indoor school had been double booked for first 15 mins of my lesson so RI decided we would walk through the paddocks of the RS along an extremely wet lane with massive scary muddy puddles, strange horses peering at us from both sides and a very unnerving ditch that RI said most of their horses get stressed about. So I explained to RI about flexions and how I couldnt do it and it was an absolutely brilliant 15 minutes with RI showing me correctly how to do them and what to watch for and Daisy responding rather positively once she had the hang of it, flex, flex flex, flex, lick and chew and walk on:smile: walked on through deep muddy puddles, walked on through scary horses poking their heads through their fences and walked on over the horrid ditch.
It makes me even more aware of how NOT aware I have been of Daisys 'feelings' and her fears and how I have just been nagging and pushing her on until she has exploded.
Cathys little chat to me has made me so aware of how subtle the signs are that Daisy, just like me, may have issues with certain places and how through this technique I can help her through it.
I have practised our new technique in one of our spare paddocks that in the past I have beleived Daisy to be nervous of, and I suppose she is, but it didn't phase me out so much, just flex, flex lick and chew, walk on and we are now schooling in the scary paddock :dance:
A big thank you to Cathy and hats of to RI who have helped me move one more rung up this endless ladder to becoming a better horse rider :dance:
 
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