I am really disgusted with myself!

MaisieMoo

MaisieMoo

Well-Known Member
Oct 19, 2007
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I don't deserve to have such a lovely, gentle horse.:eek:


Had a disaster of a schooling session tonight.:mad:

We've not been doing much schooling recently but have been focusing on hacking so decided that as it was such a nice night we'd do some in the large field. We've done some work in the smaller xc field but I wanted to focus solely on flat work without the distraction of the jumps so we went into the massive summer field which is about 20 times the size of the xc field.

It was a disaster - C was constatly rushing, breaking into canter, when I tried to circle him in trot he would overbend and try and drift out through the shoulder, he refused to walk in a straight line, was napping for the gate and just generally ignoring me.

I tried to keep a light contact and tense my back and use my voice and seat to steady him to no avail, half halts were ignored and I could feel myself getting more and more wound up and I eventually screamed at him and yanked on his mouth and for a very split second I though he might go up but he just raised his head a bit as the baby was obviously upset and confused. Tried to calm it all down with lots of walk but as soon as I asked for trot he was off again, totally ignoring me and resulting in me again losing my temper and yanking on his poor mouth.

My poor baby, he was being a brat but he didn't deserve that - he was confused and excited in a new environment and I did nothing to calm him down and reassure him, in fact, I made it worse by hurting him unnecissarily(sp).

I honestly don't think I could feel any worse just now - I'm not writing this thread because I'm looking for pity or reassurance but I want to have this recorded to remind myself never to do this in future.
 
you know, i think riders need to cut themselves a bit of slack too sometimes. its natural to get frustrated. it really is. now, you're not supposed to take that frustration out on the horse, but sometimes, you do it anyways. (and really feel bad about it afterwards!) that's normal. horses are bloody good at irritating ;) don't beat yourself up about it. you didn't destroy anything for him.

i had a trainer who told me that if I feel that frustrated, the best thing I can do for my horse and me is to get off, slap a lunge line on him, and lunge him over something so that he finishes the ride in a relaxed, engaged way. might be worth a try :)
 
there is a very big difference between somebody who will yank on a horses mouth and feel bad about it later, and one who will yank on a horses mouth and not think twice about doing it again and again and again.
you know what you've done and can work to correct it.

maybe next time you're feeling annoyed with him, halt him, get off and have a breather for a few minutes. only get back on when you are fully calm and in control of the situation.

we've all done it, we've all let our emotions get the better of us, we're only human.:p:)
 
Yanking on a horse's mouth is one of my main hates and Ive told my friends off numerous times for doing it and yet I have succumbed to it myself! Its like smacking a child's hand when you lose your temper with them - its a reaction and its bad but it happens! Dont beat yourself up about it. He'll soon forget that you did it and just try and keep a hold of your emotions in future. Horse riding is a trial and error situation. Some things work some dont and we have to learn from our mistakes.

Hope your feeling a bit better because in the morning your horse will no doubt be pleased to see you! :)
 
Please do not feel bad about this, I mean yes feel bad but don't beat yourself up about it. I totally sympathise with you and believe me, I have done far worse than that, which I am not proud of.

The question is, what have you learn't from this? I find I get angry and frustrated when I push myself or my horse further than they are really ready to go. Thats my fault not the horses. So what can we do about it, we can remove the pressure by lowering our expectations of ourselves and our horses. Bry would have been totally the same in the situation you described and yes I may have got frustrated. Infact I have a dressage comp on grass tomorrow which I know will not be very good. I am not expecting her to perform as well on grass as on a surface, because I know she gets excited on grass.

You know what you did wasn't the right way to deal with the situation, in my book knowing and excepting that you did something wrong is the first step to making sure it doesn't happen again.:) No-ones perfect.
 
Dont beat yourself up about it. Youve made and mistake and you realise.

Next time you need a better plan. Think it through and work out a PLan A and and plan B. Then put them into action to next time you are in the same situation. :)
 
Cut yourself some slack - you won't do it again, and also, you tried your best in the situation. maybe next time dont expect so much of yourself or caspar, and stick to walk if he feels tense in a large opne space and a new environment - you can do a lot of good work at walk - different exercises etc...and if he starts feeling tense in trot either keep schooling in walk, or go for a blast and brun the energy off. Well done in recognising where you were going wrong, and I'm sure you will both be fine next time.
 
Can I just say that going for a blast is probably what the problem may be, I could be wrong but Bryony just thinks 'fast' when we go into a field as she has just PC'd so many times and because we canter on grass.

Sorry could be waaay off and am not saying what LucyD said is wrong, just maybe something to think about.
 
Everybody who rides (Wether they admit it or not!) gets frustrated with their horse at some point and does something that they probably shouldn't.

The main thing is that you've admitted and realised that what you did was wrong, and you aren't likely to do it again now because of how bad you feel. Don't beat yourself up too much about it. Your horsey will forgive you :)
 
oh honey, cut your self some slack.
we all, to a more or lesser degree, get frustrated with our horses.
I know I am guilty of it, and today.
saddled blue up straight out of grazing muzzle, and then got annoyed when he was so desperate to graze when I got off to do a gate that he pulled hard on reins and pulled me off balance.
I slapped him on the neck and shouted.
not so harsh, you may think, but more than I think is necessary with a sensitive horse with a shady past.
we made it up with a positive ride,
but we all get wound up.
 
Bobbin said:
Can I just say that going for a blast is probably what the problem may be, I could be wrong but Bryony just thinks 'fast' when we go into a field as she has just PC'd so many times and because we canter on grass.

Sorry could be waaay off and am not saying what LucyD said is wrong, just maybe something to think about.
Click to expand...

I think you may be right - when I asked him to canter he was perfect, doing lovely circles and figures of 8 because he now associations wide, open spaces with cantering - I have to work really hard to get him to trot out on our hacks - he just wants to go from walk to canter which tells me trotting on the uneven ground is harder for him and we need to work on it.

I'm going to take him for a walk round again tomorrow and see how it goes. Luckily, our outdoor will be finished by tomorrow or Sunday so I'll have a nice confined space for flatwork - I just worry what would happen if I took him to a show that was in a field - I think it would be a disaster!:eek:
 
Ahh, good point - just mine has the inclination at first, then after about 2 seconds of galloping thinks that it isnt such a good idea after all, and please could we do some trot work now!! (OK, not very good for cross country :eek::eek:).
 
Aww BB the fact that your beating yourself up about it says everything. We are all human and we are not perfect and sometimes caught in the moment we do things that when we think later we just think 'what was i doing :eek:' Have been guilty of it.

But honey I guarentee Mr C has not thought one second about it...please dont feel to bad about it. You have done wonders with him and you are coming on in leaps & bounds.....he is lucky to have you.

Gx
 
If he was fine in walk and fine in canter then just perhaps he was taking the p a little bit in trot.

You clearly adore your boy so dont go getting too upset about one evening going a bit pear shaped. It happens to us all.

Casper is one lucky horse to have you and I'm pretty sure he will have realised that by now:)
 
Thanks everyone - we had a much calmer session today - I did almost lose my temper once but decided just to take a time out and chill. I appears that the other liveries have had the exact same problems schooling in the field - it's harder to set boundaries when you're in a 10 acre field!

We also had a lovely canter through the forest and a nice race through the fields with the other horses so feeling much more positive today!:)
 
well done bb
i love hearing the mr c tales!
i think your working yourself too hard!!

take some time off and just enjoy each other!!

and how did the microchipping go?
xx
 
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