Frustrated at riding lessons

Cimmaron

Cimmaron

New Member
Jul 22, 2010
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Ayrshire, Scotland
Just on to vent my frustrations really. I have been going to lessons for about 5 weeks now, twice a week. I have really enjoyed getting back on a horse again (after too long a break) and at first my lessons were going well.

Now that we are concentrating on trotting, I am finding it practically impossible to get the school horse to move. For the last 2 lessons I have spent more than half the lesson just trying to get him into a trot and then as soon as he goes and the RI says for me to stop the active encouragement, he stops and goes into a slow walk again, so I am knackered by the end of the lesson, my legs are killing me trying to keep him going and I haven’t actually learned anything. When the RI starts to trot beside us, he will go but by this time I am tired and tense and am just bouncing around everywhere because I can't relax.

We tried this week for me to get him walking past the RI as he is very reliant on her, probably because he doesn’t trust me! However, he literally stops dead when he gets to her and refuses to go past – he is an immovable object. :banghead: She gave me a whip this week, which I don’t like using at all, and even that did not work well!

I do think this is more to do with me than the horse, but I just don’t know how to get past it. Will speak to my instructor this weekend but I’m not really sure what the solution is.

Sorry for this epic tale, but just feeling a bit downhearted. :cry:
 
Eml beat me to it:D. Ask for a lunge lesson - that way its up to your RI to concentrate on the horse and leaves you free to sort out yourself. Once you get the hang of it you'll find its not a problem even off the lunge but its very hard to get a horse to go when you're not quite stable and sorted yourself.
 
I don't have any constructive advice but just thought I would offer my sympathy as a fellow RS student, I know how it feels to get frustrated in lessons when something is difficult to break through .

Lunging sounds like a good idea while you rebuild your balance (and confidence!) but personally I would also ask your RI how (s)he would feel about putting you on a different horse, even if temporarily, to help you gain confidence.

I realise that this will sound like chickening out to some but for me I have found it just reduces my frustration enough to have a calm lesson on the tricky mover next time.

*runs away under a hail of lunge whips* ;)
 
I recently started lessons again recently owing to a complete loss of balance having had a twelve year riding gap. My trot was all over the place so needed alot of work and they initially had me on a horse who needed a reminder to keep going - I just couldn't concentrate on my balance while encouraging him along so we agreed to change to a different horse for a while. Id just make known your concerns very nicely. I didn't in any way suggest a different horse as I knew my weight would be limiting my options but just said I was finding it difficult to concentrate on my balance as squeezing my horse at the same time made me topple.
In regards to the use of a crop, I'm realising it's a lot better to try squeeze kick tap of the whip rather than constantly kicking.
 
Yes to the lunge lesson - I will just add that what you describe has nothing to do with you so dont blame yourself. It is typical of early riding school lessons.

Almost anyone who starts or restarts at a RS knows the Horse always stops at teacher syndrome. Sometimes the teacher actively encourages this by giving a polo or a pat?
Often it is just that the student frequently does stop to talk to teacher so the RS horse learns to stop and then becomes immovable - gaining the reward of a respite from work.

And I am afraid that the cure will be the whip. Always accept the advice of a teacher who knows the horse. Better than kicking a horse actually. Use the whip to show you are in charge and that you mean business and expect some hard work from the horse. Just showing the whip to the horse may be enough.

I do have another private method of curing a horse that wants to stop at a particular point - if you are in a class you may not be able to do this. From any point in the school turn your horse towards the desirable point (gate, teacher, snack etc) and actively trot the horse to that point. But as you reach the point, turn the horse briskly and trot away back to a letter or place on the edge of the school. Once there, turn horse again and make straight for the desired spot. Repeat, by immedately turning and riding away to another point on the edge of the school. You can trot or canter but make it fast.
The horse begins to associate the visits to the desired teacher with additional effort (rather than a respite) and you are establishng the fact that he can visit this place only under direct instructions from yourself and you (not he) control the prompt leaving of it.

But there might be the possibility of your riding a different horse if you arent really a total beginner?
 
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I might get shot down here, but it could be the horse being a lazy so and so and/or taking the micky cause you are just starting again and feel like all of us when starting riding again, no confidence, lack of fitness etc and the horse knows it.

I think it may well be that you need to give him a sharp crack of the whip to show him that you are in charge and not him.

I know a lot of people don't like whips but I feel a sharp crack of the whip instead of keep nagging with the leg is kinder for the horse anyway.

My Irish Cob is a typical ex RI school horse, bored of going in circles, people constantly kicking him to go.

All he needs is a bit of a slap with the whip to remind him and then he listens :wink:
 
beakysian said:
I don't have any constructive advice but just thought I would offer my sympathy as a fellow RS student, I know how it feels to get frustrated in lessons when something is difficult to break through .

Lunging sounds like a good idea while you rebuild your balance (and confidence!) but personally I would also ask your RI how (s)he would feel about putting you on a different horse, even if temporarily, to help you gain confidence.

I realise that this will sound like chickening out to some but for me I have found it just reduces my frustration enough to have a calm lesson on the tricky mover next time.

*runs away under a hail of lunge whips* ;)
Click to expand...

Dont run away and hide. I think that is a very good idea. Just because the horse is in a RS it does not mean that that horse is the right one for you.

Ask for a change at the end of the day you are a paying customer. To improve you need a horse that is welling to move.
 
Thank you all for your suggestions.

I will speak to my RI at the weekend and let her know exactly how frustrated I am feeling and see what she says. I think a couple of lunge lessons might be exactly what I need. Hopefully, once I am feeling confident, the horse will start to trust that I know what I am doing and listen to me.

I will try the whip again on my next lesson and see if I can master it. I think I am probably being a bit of a wimp with it and that is why he is not responding. Need to learn to be firmer.

To those who have been/are in the same boat as me, it is good to hear that I am not alone in my frustration. :smile:
 
Agree with lunge lesson as a great idea. On the whip thing, I don't like hitting a horse either - I've found that hitting my boot nearly always does the job! Perhaps it's the sound?
 
I had EXACTLY the same problem :giggle:

There I was jumping up and down like flea and working myself into a HUGE lather. The horse didn't budge an inch. Must have lost half a stone IN THE MIDDLE OF WINTER!

I don't blame him one bit. He was totally and utterly cheesed off with being a riding school horse and it showed.

My friend rode him as well and he ended up biting her really badly and pushing her over in the stable. So it wasn't just ME he despised :biggrin:

I saw other people cantering round at speed on him but they were brandishing whips.

Gave up the riding school and went into a share - ended up at the opposite end of the 'speed' spectrum and in a hedge bottom.

GOOD LUCK :happy:

HRH PA
 
I think with a lot of horses it is the sound of the whip that works, but other horses need a good little smack.

My Irish Cob is like a rhino and has rhino hide, you have to give him a good smack to get him going but he soon gets the message.

As my RI says "thats a tickle, I mean smack him"! LOL.

I would never do this with my TB but I don't need to. Just place the whip down his neck and he shoots forward.
 
I'd go along with the suggestions that you ask to ride a different horse, and that you use a stick - sometimes it's enough just to carry it; the next stage is to hit your boot with it, that motivates most horses, but if that doesn't work use it on the horse, behind your leg, not hard.

But I wonder if there's something in your riding that's encouraging him to slow down: maybe too strong a contact, or too light, or maybe you''re leaning forward or squeezing with your knees. Any of those can make a horse want to stop. Maybe you should ask the RI about that - and a lunge lesson would help.
 
Updated

Just thought I would update you on how my riding lesson went (or did not go) at the weekend.

I explained to the RI my frustrations of the previous week and suggested a lunge lesson. Her response was “well let’s try something else first”. The something else did not help that much, so we ended up back with the crop again. However, I could not get my timings right at all and when I did, the poor horse just blasted off up the school because I was not prepared enough for him to go and did not get my directions correct. A bit messy all round, but at least I got him moving!

After my post last week, I had decided that I would move schools if I was not happy after the next lesson. A pity because the school is nice and the RI is a lovely person. However, I have come up with a different solution that I am pretty excited about. :biggrin:

I am now the proud sharer of a handsome 20 year old gelding who is at a livery close to my home. I went to visit him and his owner at the weekend and had a ride on him round one of the fields. It was so lovely to actually have a horse respond to my requests. There is an instructor who stables her horse there, so the owner is going to speak to her for me about giving me lessons and I will also learn how to look after a horse, instead of just attempting to ride one.

I was shocked that his owner was keen for me to share, me being such a novice, but she seemed happy with what I wanted to do with him riding wise, since he is a bit older, and was pleased that I wanted to take on some of the other duties that go along with having a horse.

First day will be Monday. I feel like a child at Christmas again. :spin: Bit nervous about meeting everyone at the yard and feeling like a numpty but hopefully I'll get into the swing of things quickly.
 
Sharing sounds like a great solution.

Here's my RS story (I took lessons as an adult for about 4 years before getting my own horse). Rode a lovely horse named Ben but I really had to work to get him to trot. I struggled and struggled and persevered.

One of the young girls who keeps her TB at the barn asked YO if she could show Ben last summer while her horse was too young to compete - guess what - she won ribbons all over the place - jumping, hunter, dressage. Ben moved like a dream for her - it was ME. The upside? I don't have much of a problem with trotting now :happy: Thank you Ben for developing leg muscles under all my fat!
 
It's a shame the RI wasn't more helpful. I hope the loan works out, it may be a fantastic solution.

Please just be a bit careful, this sounds like a big leap if you've only just come back into riding after a long break & were struggling in the RS. I'm not trying to rain on your parade, just slightly comcerned for you.
 
LindaAd said:
But I wonder if there's something in your riding that's encouraging him to slow down: maybe too strong a contact, or too light, or maybe you''re leaning forward or squeezing with your knees. Any of those can make a horse want to stop. Maybe you should ask the RI about that - and a lunge lesson would help.
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I agree with this . . . thinking back to when I was first (re)learning, I was often giving the horse conflicting messages . . . balancing on my hands, being either ahead of or behind the movement, etc. . . . and a riding school horse will either be crafty and take advantage and stop or slow down . . . or be kind and stop or slow down . . . have a chat to your RI and I would definitely recommend lunge lessons - that way you can work on your balance and position without worrying about keeping the horse moving forwards.

Good luck!

N
 
Good luck on your share, I hope that it works out.

However regarding the discussion on the use of the whip, it's not always a whip which gets a 'slow' horse to move. I ride what is commonly known as the 'lazy' horse on the yard. He is used for all the adult beginners and the vast majority of people have a problem getting him to move faster than a slow walk. When I ride him, he moves beautifully forward. He is actually very well schooled and typically when beginners learn to ride they have a very heavy contact on the rein, and use very heavy legs aids. This horse needs a very light rein contact and very light leg aids. I do carry a whip and I will use it on occassion, but I don't beat him up or smack him hard. If you smack him hard or touch his shoulder with a whip at all, he will throw you off!

I think that generally (not referring to the OP) people are too quick to move onto the horses which will move more easily so they feel that quicker progress is being made. If you get the basics correct with a good teacher, then you should be able to get any horse to do as you want it to. If you can get the 'slower' horses to respond this will make you a much better rider in the long run.
 
I do and don't agree with Mary P.

At my first riding school where a bullying teacher made me deeply unhappy, I rode a beginners' horse on which I had no difficulty trotting large or steering all the normal riding school shapes.

Two years later I switched to a good teacher and rode her safe horse. Even trotting once round the school was beyond me. And frankly still is rare. I dont even attempt those serpentines etc. I've decided that even the most elementary dressage test is beyond us. I now have a loving and mutual understanding with this mare - and forcing her forward is not my agenda.

If one cant get a RS lesson horse to move, one should not always persevere. It is important to see the RI ride it - to see how much stick or insistence is required - and to also discover whether any other student of one's own level can keep it moving? In my case the answer seemed no. The horse was retired from regular lessons, and I have the choice of having my lessons on another more forward going horse.

Riding a sensitive horse which doesnt trot forward may be good for one's riding style in theory but in a formal competitive sense, I missed out on making progress for years by having my lessons on this slow horse. Until one has the forward movement and impulsion to use, one cannot really move on and learn how to direct it and use it in dressage movements.

I think everyone in the first two or three years of riding education should have a formal education being taught to do all the things on the syllabus on a horse on which it is pretty easy to carry them out. I have come across dozens of riding school horses on which this can be done - they are not rare - and it is perfectly possible for riding lessons to be conducted giving the student a sense of competence and satisfaction, without exhaustion or frustration.
 
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