From babies to marriage....

popularfurball

Learning all the time
Jul 18, 2005
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Was it a straight forward yes or no?

Were you both pro marriage?

Did you or do you ever doubt you made the right decision?

Did you struggle financially for a wedding?
 
yes easy for me, i wanted to get married then have kids.....so yes it was an easy process for me...

the only tricky thing at the time was i was 23 when i got married (we had been together 6 years though)...and it just seems so young. I did feel at the time it was perhaps a few years to soon BUT saying that i wanted to get married too...and its irrelevant now as it hasnt hurried along the process of having kids etc...i think i would have liked to have got married a bit older, perhaps 25+ but theres no real reason for feeling that!

although saying the above - i dont regret getting married at 23....lol! very confusing i know!

financially, we saved for it and each parent (both of our parents are divorced) donated £1000 towards the wedding and we had a marque in OHs parents garden....total including the expensive honeymoon to Madagascar was about £10,000 total. Gifts wise from guests everyone gave us a contribution to the honeymoon - totalled £2500 so actually the wedding cost £7500 in the end....
 
For years I pretended to OH that marriage did not matter - but really deep down it did for me. We lived together for a few years - then he just asked me one night and I couldn't believe it! He was going to ask me on my 30th in Rome but thought it was too cheesy to waited until we had been home a few weeks. One thing he was relieved about as was I, was that neither of us wanted a fancy big white do - I am far too shy for being the object of everybody's attention and he was like me in just wanting to run away and do it. We chose my wedding dress together - most unconventional!lol In fact if it weren't for him pushing me to buy one I wouldn't have bothered and just kept it really casual. I am glad he did tho - still love my dress now.
 
And no - I have NEVER doubted that it was the right thing to do. Tis the best thing we have ever done and I can say I felt a happier person for it. It's very special and I highly recommend it.
 
It was a definite yes for me and I have never regretted it even though things have been very hard at times, as with most things.

Our parents paid for the Wedding. I can't imagine saving up for such a thing, I would probably have 'lived in sin' lol.

We had a gorgeous Wedding, no expense spared, but I really can't imagine me splashing out so much money just for one day.
 
It felt like I waited years for my OH to propose. We had been together for 8 years before we got married, and lived together for 7. There was no doubt for me that it was the correct thing to do, and almost 7 years later we are both still very happy.

I got married in the grounds of my work (huge manor house) and did everything myself. It only cost about £7,000 (including the honeymoon) and my dad paid for about half of it. It was one of the best days of my life - absolutely perfect and well worth the money.
 
Ive never been married ( and not likely to now!) alougth I would of loved to be. I wouldnt of wanted a huge big wedding as I wouldnt of coped! Just a few close friends for me at a nice unusual venue.

The best wedding I have been to was a place just outside of Gretna which had its own little chapel onsite etc . It was my best friend getting married and it was a really intimate wedding, approx 20 guests.

We all had a meal afterwards/drinks and played a board game in teams later over drinks which was the most fun Ive had at a wedding ever !!!! I would rather spend the money on 'life' rather then one huge day, with a load of guests I dont really want there lol !
 
I've been with OH for 21 years in May but we've never bothered getting married - it just isn't important to us. I had been previously married, but me and my ex only got married because it upset his mum that I was pregnant and as it didn't matter to us either way, we had a small registry office do to put her mind at rest.

To me 'being married' makes absolutely no difference to my level of commitment - having kids together or even financial ties is far more of a commitment. I certainly would never dream of spending a load of money on a wedding and like Trewsers, wouldn't want everyone staring at me as I walked down the isle. I could go for a nice quiet wedding on a beach though!

I know it's important to lots of people and I'm very happy for them when they tie the knot and have a wonderful day, it's just not for me.
 
We've been married 10 years this year. It was always on the cards as both of us had spoken about the future and to me marriage was either on the cards or why bother being together ? (This is just my opinion though and how I was/am , I'm in NO way slating others personal opinions)

We were married 3 years later and married back in my home country. Most expensive thing for us was the flights as we went Business class return to Australia !

Well worth the money :cool:

I wouldn't get myself into debt for it though.
 
I have got the best of everything without the wedding thing. Never saw the point. Been together 30 years, there and thereabouts.
 
We aren't quite as far into the relationship as Wally, a mere 22 years together for us & no sign of a wedding as yet :)
I am actually quite in favour of the idea (& we are technically engaged) but OH is dead set against us getting married. We have seen several couples marry after a lengthy time living together very happily & every one of them have ended up divorced and living apart within a few months. I still don't see why that should happen to us but she's totally convinced that it would...
I am not religious so not being married doesn't bother me in that sense, but it does mean that we have had to be very careful about wills etc in terms of protecting each others' position regarding inheritance issues & so on.

I would certainly not entertain the idea of spending loads on a wedding, I believe that how you feel about each other is the important thing, not how much you spend on a party for loads of people (some of whom will, no doubt, be slagging you off while guzzling the free booze that you paid for :giggle:)
 
When i was with my ex i was desperate to get married. From about 1 year in i wanted that ring on my finger. 10 years down the line we never did it.

I am cautious about marriage. I've seen a fair few of my friends go through it. In the time my ex and i were together, one of our friends (a couple) got married, had a kid, got divorced and then both got remarried and now, between them, have 5 children. Scary! One of my very smug friends who blew a good 50k of daddy's money on her wedding is now divorced. Her hottie of an ex-husband got sick of her financial demands and she now has a sugar daddy. I suppose it's made me extra cautious. I want to make sure i marry once and that will be it. I'm even scared about dating the wrong guy which is why i'm probably quite fussy and get shot of the guys who bore me or don't totally float my boat. They are very nice and treat me like a princess but it isn't enough.

I also think weddings are an utter waste of money! it's one day, the important part is the lifetime you'll spend with your partner. THAT is priceless and what the focus should be. Believe me as someone who is trying to find her prince charming at a relatively old age (30!), appreciate what you have. A marriage certificate really isn't much in the grand scheme of things. I'd rather have a lifetime with my soulmate than a ring on my finger.
 
I don't think it is so much weddings that I am against, as marriage!!

I was married, and got divorced. I love my now OH and we have been together 9 years. He has never been married.

I didn't care for being married. It made me feel boxed in and taken for granted. There are times it would be easier to be married, but I am happy as we are.

I did used to think that you should be married before having children, which is what I did, but perhaps in hindsight, this is an old fashioned view.

I am not sure these days in this multi cultural society, whether it really matters whether childrens parents are married or not - I think for children it is far more important that they have a stable family life - in whatever form it takes.
 
I have been married once before and OH been married twice.

I knew this time it was completely different. I would not want my life with out my OH to share it with.

As for wedding we both wanted to get married, A tour to Afgan was enough to pay for most of it. total about £8000 including honey moon. Our day was amazing but the years that have followed have been better.

Oh an no children as agreed by both of us
 
Was it straight forward? Nothing ever is! Everyone has ups & downs.

We had been together for 3 years when I got pregnant, he said we should get married because I was pregnant, I had a paddy and said I wanted to get married for the right reason, not because that was the done thing 100 years ago!

So baby is now 7 years old, we have been engaged for 6 years, we got married last year. The main reason for waiting to get married was financial (we paid for everything) and so that our daughter could be a part of it.
 
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