Hello everyone! I just wanted to update this thread and let you know I've taken on all this golden advice - and its worked!
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Merlin is being as good as gold now - he still does have the odd piggish moment planting at the gate leaving and leaps out of skin at the most ridiculous things (his own farts and poo included lol) but overall a different horse.
It's all thanks to this incredible forum so I'm super grateful for all the great tips. I tried to get an instructor out but we are a bit in the sticks and noone got back to me. So in the end it was a combination of lots of groundwork and handling - leading, stopping, starting, feeling him all over, getting him to stand still and listen etc. Now I have him following me, and stopping and backing up on voice command! He's a changed horse.
Also riding him lots - I used to dread them at first (and need half a glass of wine to work up the courage!) but he got less spooky and nappy and the rides have actually become enjoyable - yay!
I must admit one big step wasn't me at all - when I was struggling to pick out his back hooves one day one of the other riders here - a very confident ex-jockey, came over and had a go. To my horror Merlin actually gave him a nasty kick (I did warn him but felt awful) and he got really cross with him. Merlin was a bit like a chastised child after tbh, think he realized he'd gone too far or something!
He's still a bit tricky with one back hoof but the other day he held them out for me before I even asked, so it's up and down but hugely improved.
The other day I was walking him in hand (with the little ones and work it's hard to find time to tack up and ride every day) and suddenly had a whim to get on. He was a bit bemused but he let me scramble on bareback without a mounting block or gate (in a field) and walk around in the halter for a bit! I've never had the experience of having so much one-on-one time bonding with a horse, it feels so lovely.
A work in progress but so much of the latter - thanks to a combination of time, trust & tips from this super forum!
THANK YOU
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