Feeling like im a useless rider and should sell my horse

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Kezza123

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Apr 4, 2020
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Hi all, my names grace and I'm 15. I have a horse called blu who's turning ten in may. I've been riding blu for about 1 and half to 2 years now. Blu was originally my mums horse however when my mum got diagnosed with cancer I had to fully step in a take full care of him. I had only ridden school horses before him and only ridden him occasionally in the school. I had started to have regular lesson on him and he started to school nicely, however we cant afford anymore lesson having just finished my first session of hunting. After our first session blu thinks he knows everything and doesn't need to listen to me. So when I take him in the school it's impossible to even getting him trotting nicely without him refusing and going back down to walk. I've tried everything I've been suggested and nothing seems to be doing anything. Now everytime I go in there I end up leaving in tears most of the time. With this new attitude blu has suddenly found it has took nearly all my confidence in myself and my riding, I look at other people and their horses all going nicely and doing what the rider wants. I just feel so embarrassed to even get on him now and hack out. I'm starting to believe it's me who's letting him down and stopping blu from being this amazing horse. We haven't gotten anywhere for a good 4 months and I've already started to contemplate stopping riding him and just letting my mum take full control again. The one thing that has tipped me over the edge is when the yard owner shouted at me on a hack because he bolted with me in a field with her and she told me I looked like a state and i couldn't ride.

I'm really at a dead end here so any advise or tips would be greatly appreciated x
 
And breathe.

How's your mum now, could she maybe ride him a bit to take the pressure off you?

Try not to take your yard owner's comment to heart, it sounds to me like a bit of a panic reaction because while it's no fun being carted off in an open field it can be nearly as bad to watch, particularly if you aren't sure how your own horse will react (or worse still have a fairly good idea how he will and are praying you'll be ok!!!).

If you were hunting him you can't be that incompetent, but the skills to go hunting aren't the same ones as schooling. Would you be happier hacking him until you feel less stressed? Or if you badly want to school is there someone friendly and knowledgeable who'd spare you a bit of time to watch and give you tips? Maybe if your mum isn't well enough to ride but can come up the yard then she could do this. Your mum being there would also give you a buffer against a yard owner who is clearly rattling what confidence you have.

With the end of hunting and spring grass coming through have you dropped his hard feed? If he's feeling rather too full of the joys of spring that won't help, and some horses are frankly idiots at this time of year.

The other thing you could do is give him some time off. A lot of people have decided that it's better not to ride with the NHS already stretched by Covid 19, and if he isn't behaving then it would seem a very reasonable thing to do.
 
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carthorse said:
And breathe.

How's your mum now, could she maybe ride him a bit to take the pressure off you?

Try not to take your yard owner's comment to heart, it sounds to me like a bit of a panic reaction because while it's no fun being carted off in an open field it can be nearly as bad to watch, particularly if you aren't sure how your own horse will react (or worse still have a fairly good idea how he will and are praying you'll be ok!!!).

If you were hunting him you can't be that incompetent, but the skills to go hunting aren't the same ones as schooling. Would you be happier hacking him until you feel less stressed? Or if you badly want to school is there someone friendly and knowledgeable who'd spare you a bit of time to watch and give you tips? Maybe if your mum isn't well enough to ride but can come up the yard then she could do this. Your mum being there would also give you a buffer against a yard owner who is clearly rattling what confidence you have.

With the end of hunting and spring grass coming through have you dropped his hard feed? If he's feeling rather too full of the joys of spring that won't help, and some horses are frankly idiots at this time of year.

The other thing you could do is give him some time off. A lot of people have decided that it's better not to ride with the NHS already stretched by Covid 19, and if he isn't behaving then it would seem a very reasonable thing to do.
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Mums feeling better however she only lightly hacks him because she isn't at all fit enough to anything else and doesn't want to do anything else. Hacking him out isn't fun because he seems to think he's in charge and just blots off or spooks nearly chucking me off. He's on sugar beet because he loses condition really quickly so he has to be on it. I did give him a couple of weeks off and when I took him out after those weeks he nearly spun me right off. I used to have a older horse Kerry who is now an a companion to the other horse because she was never mine. We had to give her up so he could hunt. I miss her terribly however I can't start her under saddle again because Im not aloud to do. I'm just really losing hope with him now :/
 
My advice would be to give him some time off until things settle down with Covid 19, it isn't worth getting injured and as things are now it doesn't sound like you're happy or safe on him. While he's off try to save up some money so you can afford some lessons. Or you could see if there's a more experienced rider who would be happy to ride him, maybe in exchange for giving you some help with riding him - I wouldn't be asking for any financial contribution though as they'd be doing you and your mum a big favour.

Out of interest what did your mum used to do with him?

One thing, because it's a pet hate of mine. Please don't say he's bolting when the reality is that he's just getting away from you. Proper bolting is very different and it's a dreadful label to give a horse - basically a true bolter either needs to be retired or pts because they aren't safe for anyone to ride they're a danger to themselves, their rider, and any other poor person who happens to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.
 
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carthorse said:
My advice would be to give him some time off until things settle down with Covid 19, it isn't worth getting injured and as things are now it doesn't sound like you're happy or safe on him. While he's off try to save up some money so you can afford some lessons. Or you could see if there's a more experienced rider who would be happy to ride him, maybe in exchange for giving you some help with riding him - I wouldn't be asking for any financial contribution though as they'd be doing you and your mum a big favour.

Out of interest what did your mum used to do with him?

One thing, because it's a pet hate of mine. Please don't say he's bolting when the reality is that he's just getting away from you. Proper bolting is very different and it's a dreadful label to give a horse - basically a true bolter either needs to be retired or pts because they aren't safe for anyone to ride they're a danger to themselves, their rider, and any other poor person who happens to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.
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When he blots he gallops non stop for about 5mins and crosses his jaw and takes complete control. My mum just uses to hack him out however she's never hunted him and only did fun rides on him. I dont have a dog so the horse it's my only time in getting him out. My mum still hacks him out however when she takes blu out he fine and doesnt spook or anything. That's why I think it's me.
 
That's running away, not bolting. I still wouldn't be riding him at the moment though.

Can you walk or cycle out with your mum when she hacks him and see what she does differently to you?
 
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Fantastic advice there from Carthorse - and I agree so much with her on the description that a horse 'bolts' very few horses do actually 'bolt' and those that do on a regular basis should be shot IMO. I am pretty sure your Mum's horse isnt a true bolter - seems to me he gets very rude and sets the pace he wants without any input from his rider...bad manners indeed and needs re schooling I would imagine.

Very typical of hunters over in my part of the world - all they want to do is go and then go even faster......it takes a couple of months turn out to settle them and then gradually bring them back into work as a general purpose horse IMO. Did you ride him as a hunter? Was he ok when you hunted him? did he have a break after the season or just straight off asked to turn his hoof to other things? Some hunters can and will - some won't just adapt instantly unfortunately.

to be honest if I were you - and felt my nerve crumbling at such a young age, and in view of the pandemic we are all in at this moment impacting on safety issues - I would turn him away - do NOT give him anything other than the grass he can find turned out. Please God things in the greater world will have changed in a few months then bring him slowly back into work - hopefully with the help of a experienced trainer you can turn him into a nice well mannered all rounder and regain your confidence....oh and don't lets this blip in your riding career floor you - we have all been there (some of us more than once lol!) and we have also regained our confidence as you will I am sure :)
 
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Oh dear - just realised where you are posting elsewhere OP about this exact problem and have been doing so since last November - how did the hunting go then? Your most recent post states that you do in fact have an instructor and you are wondering which piece of their advice you should follow - Put the poor horse in draw reins to school or should it be a pelham???

Consider me out of this thread as of now and please disregard any advice I was stupid enough to try and give you -nothing I detest more than a total bullshitter frankly :mad:
 
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Kezza123 said:
Hi all, my names grace and I'm 15. I have a horse called blu who's turning ten in may. I've been riding blu for about 1 and half to 2 years now. Blu was originally my mums horse however when my mum got diagnosed with cancer I had to fully step in a take full care of him. I had only ridden school horses before him and only ridden him occasionally in the school. I had started to have regular lesson on him and he started to school nicely, however we cant afford anymore lesson having just finished my first session of hunting. After our first session blu thinks he knows everything and doesn't need to listen to me. So when I take him in the school it's impossible to even getting him trotting nicely without him refusing and going back down to walk. I've tried everything I've been suggested and nothing seems to be doing anything. Now everytime I go in there I end up leaving in tears most of the time. With this new attitude blu has suddenly found it has took nearly all my confidence in myself and my riding, I look at other people and their horses all going nicely and doing what the rider wants. I just feel so embarrassed to even get on him now and hack out. I'm starting to believe it's me who's letting him down and stopping blu from being this amazing horse. We haven't gotten anywhere for a good 4 months and I've already started to contemplate stopping riding him and just letting my mum take full control again. The one thing that has tipped me over the edge is when the yard owner shouted at me on a hack because he bolted with me in a field with her and she told me I looked like a state and i couldn't ride.

I'm really at a dead end here so any advise or tips would be greatly appreciated x
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Hi Grace. I think you should think about, and talk to your mum about, what you really want. If this is your mums horse, presumably she bought her for herself, and not for you. There is no shame in admitting that you are not suited. It sounds like you would be happier with something quieter that you can get on and enjoy. Why not try and have an honest conversation with your mum, she may not know how you feel.
 
Whilst im not going to say you shouldnt be feeding sugar beet to your horse. It might not be helping. Some horses get hot headed on it so im told. I actually feed the full sugar, beet pellets to mine, but it doesnt make mine fizzy at all. Perhaps you could consider an alternative or cutting down the sugarbeet you are feeding currently especially with the spring grass coming through. Some people say feeding micronised linseeed is good for condition and weight.

If youve been hunting this horse all winter its possible that youve let the horse get away with just wanting to canter everytime his feet touch grass. I think you need to get an instructor who can help you reeducate the horse.
 
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