does lack of confidence ruin a pony for good

[Dizzy Woo]

Right a bit of a ramble coming up.
Bad accident two years ago on what I now call scary lane = fractured back.
Got back in the saddle 3 months later and have been battling to get my confidence back to what it was ever since.
Had plenty of lessons with RI and plenty of hacks out with friends and thats all fine.
Its when I try to do it alone. Which I have a huge compulsion to do and used to do regularly. Things are not what I would like them to be.
Daisy has become an obstinate horse when going solo. I suppose she's nervous although she doesn't appear to be, she will plant and not look to bothered. she locks her neck solid and I end up doing flexions, soft hands and a few steps forward.
I have just been reading my diary and even last year I thought I had conquered scary lane, but as last week showed when it took 20 minutes to ride down it when it should take 2 or 3, we are not there yet.
I suppose in the back of my head i must still hold a fear for the bl--dy lane, but its not just there, went out with friend yesterday who is a nervous rider and this seems to upset Daisy too, it takes all my energy to get her to lead, she seems to like just following.
Do you think my nerves have turned her into a nervous nellie? I thought we were doing great but as soon as we are on our own it is so frustrating. I have had a break from lessons but planning to go every other week again. Its lovely to go out with friends but it does seem to turn Daisy and myself into lazy followers, sort of creeps up on you.
I would like Daisy to trust me enough to just go wherever I ask. How do I get her back to this, she was fine until that bloomin accident :banghead:and last year when i did loads of solo stuff she was fine too, once I had walked her in hand somewhere.
ramble over, gold stars if you got to the end and understand where i am coming from :mstickle:

 

[Trewsers]

Yep I know where you are coming from!! I think she probably is picking up on your lack of confidence and if it were me, I'd probably be content for the time being to just hack with friends - and build on that. I am probably not the best person in the world to give advice - being as I have only ever managed tiny solo hacks with Storm! And hacking full stop can give me the willies, even with other folk involved!!! I would try and be patient and build on what you have with her - you are doing a lot better than I would after such an accident - personally I'd not have ventured outside of the school!! So give yourself some credit for that - back hacking at all is good in my estimation.

 

[Jane&Ziggy]

Well, you have identified for yourself that you don't feel as confident as you did, so it's not surprising if she reacts. It's a tough one, isn't it, because pretending that everything is OK doesn't seem to work too well with horses!

Could it be useful and enjoyable for you both to go out in hand rather than ridden? And maybe graduate to long reining, as if she was a baby horse again?

 

[annareeves0]

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I dont think its Daisy that still has the issues.

The repetition, regular work, going back and forth over the same spot, breaking the bad habits, overwhelming the bad experience with 1000 good experiences - these are all for YOUR benefit too. It is blooming tedious to keep having to revisit it over and over and over but you've done it before and you can do it again. It may be that youll always have to do it. When you are confident, assertive and ready to go, she will come along with you and if she wont you are able to deal with it. If you are unconfident, not prepared to push through and worried, she is the same. Thats why we are the leaders and they are the followers. This doesnt make it any easier. In fact it sucks. I know, been there, got the t shirt, fought it kicking and screaming all the way!

If you keep working at it, consistantly, regularly and to the best of your ability it will get better and you will get to a place you are happy with. Its not a concrete path though - when life interferes our confidence ebbs and flows - doesnt mean we cant put in the work to pick it back up again though. Keep on, keeping on and it will happen.

 

[Tillytoo]

Know exactly where you are comming from. I lost trust in him and was nervous, this made him think there was something to be nervous about, = downward spiral, not hacking out on our own, not cantering in the school, generally being a wuss of the first order.

It has helped me to see other people ride Cracker, watching him whizzing round with a confident young crash test dummy on board looking like he was having a blast really helped me KNOW, not just intellectually but emotionally, that it was me that was making him nervous and that he was actually the same pony he was before I exited stage left.

Is there any way you could swap horses with someone confident to do scary lane for a few times? just to see if this makes a difference. Might be talking out of my behind though and apologies if this is a really daft idea.

 

[Dizzy Woo]

Tilly too not talking out your backside! Daughter can ride her up and down there, I've ridden her up and down there, this is most definately in my head and affecting my arse (seat) :wink:
Have just been walking her in hand up and down and up and down and turning all around, I could feel my 'energy' and hers coming right down so I know it's going to work , don't know if I will get to Anna's 1000 time target, but I can see its constant constant effort with this for my brain to get hold of its not really a scary lane